They Apparated onto an untidy lawn lined with weed-filled flower beds. A few chickens pecked at the ground. A tipped stack of cauldrons and a pile of Wellingtons lay at the door of a stone structure so irregular, it looked as if it had grown out of the earth.
"Ah! This place is much better," said Pat!k, nodding approvingly.
Tadatada turned to Pokey and said, "I'm sorry for my behaviour back there."
"Don't worry about it, dear," he replied affably, studying the house as he smoothed out his towel. "You were under a lot of strain."
"I was very rude to you."
"It was a difficult situation for all of us."
"Shall we go inside?" Pat!k proposed.
Pokey fidgeted with his towel. "I was thinking perhaps we should knock, or ring the doorbell if there is one."
Dobby tugged on Pokey's towel with an inquiring look. "I was just telling these two that we should knock or ring a doorbell," Pokey explained.
"Do you think it would make a difference?" asked Tadatada curiously.
"Well, it was one of the things Mistress Muggle was shrieking about," Pokey pointed out.
Pat!k snorted. "As if she would have been welcoming otherwise."
"What a nasty big creature," said Tadatada with distaste.
"That and the fact that you two were naked," Pokey added.
"What is that?" cried Tadatada in exasperation, flinging her arms in the air. "Do they hate our bodies that much?"
"Oh no, no," cried Pokey, "It's nothing personal. They're the same way with their own kind."
"Humans get upset when other humans are naked?" asked Tadatada, looking sceptical.
"Well... except in special circumstances."
"So they hate their own bodies as well?"
"Hmm... I suppose so, yes."
Dobby tugged at Pokey's towel again. "I'm just explaining that humans wear clothing and make house-elves cover themselves as well because they hate their bodies and our bodies," Pokey rattled off, a touch impatiently. He was thinking that translation was more trouble than he had considered when he signed up for the job.
"Is that true?" asked Dobby.
"It must be. There's got to be a reason, after all," said Pokey.
"Pokey?" called Tadatada. Pokey turned to her. "I've just been speaking with Pat!k," she explained, gesturing at Pat!k, who was looking quite sullen. "We've agreed that, if it will make the humans more comfortable, we'll wear the towels. After all, we're visiting them, aren't we? So we're the ones who should adapt."
"Oh! That's wonderful," said Pokey. "They're agreeing to wear the towels," he told Dobby happily. "I'll just... oh," he said, looking at his empty hands and then peeking rather unnecessarily under each armpit, "I seem to have left them in the Muggle house, what with all the upset and stick-waving going on."
"That is a shame," said Pat!k with a grin. "I suppose we won't be able to cover ourselves up after all."
Dobby leaned over and whispered in Pokey's ear, "Where are the towels, Pokey?"
"Back at the Muggle house," he whispered back.
"Oh."
"All right, then. Dobby and I will go to the door, and you three will wait over on that side," Pokey stated, pointing.
Pokey and Dobby approached the door. Dobby knocked, and they waited.
After a couple of minutes, Dobby sat down on the front step.
"You know," Pokey said to him, "I don't think anyone's home."
He turned to the waiting wood elves. "Nobody's coming, they must be away," he called.
"Let's just Apparate in, then," suggested Dobby, getting up.
Pokey hesitated, then knocked again.
"Don't worry, Pokey," said Dobby, "It won't be like the other house. These are good people."
"All right," said Pokey, resigned. "We're going to Apparate in," he announced to the wood elves. "Just to the other side of this door."
Pat!k and Tadatada nodded. Four pops sounded in quick succession.
They found themselves under a kitchen table. They emerged from it and looked around the kitchen.
"Let's see if we can find anybody," said Dobby, and started down the hall. The others followed.
The hallway ended at the front door of the house. Just before that, it opened to a sitting room on the right and a flight of stairs, leading upwards, on the left. Dobby stopped at the entrance to the sitting room and peered in. A couple of well-padded, lumpy sofas were placed at right angles to each other and faced a square wooden coffee table. "Nobody here either," he stated and turned towards the stairs. Pat!k also took a glance in the sitting room. "Wait." He said the word softly, but something in his tone made everyone stop in their tracks.
Pat!k padded up to the coffee table and gazed down upon it. The other elves gathered by his side. The table was unfinished and well-used, scored with innumerable cuts and dents. On it sat a golden cup that might have been poised to be filled with wine, but for the large crack running from the brim to the stem. Beside it lay something with two round halves hinged together like a clam shell. It was roughened and blackened as if it had been burned.
In front of the cup was a silver pen ending in a length of ostrich feather. The pen was snapped in half and bled its startlingly deep red ink (if ink it was) onto a folded white handkerchief that lay beneath it.
"I think... I think I know what these are," breathed Pat!k.
Dobby reached out a hand and rotated the cup. The shape of a badger slid into view, embossed on its surface. "A badger. This cup belonged to Mistress Hufflepuff."
Pokey stood frozen, his hands at his sides. "I'm not sure you should touch those things, Dobby," he said tensely.
Dobby ignored him and gingerly picked up the pen by its feather. He took a close look and hissed. "Look. The raven."
"This is very strange," quavered Pokey. "This is... some dark magic."
Dobby laid the pen down. His hand hovered over the burnt locket, then dropped to his side. "No," he said, "I don't want to touch that."
"It's completely black, anyway," noted Pokey. "I don't think you'd be able to see if there was anything on it... like a lion."
"Or a snake," said Dobby.
"I saw these things in my vision, and other things like them," murmured Pat!k.
"What are they? What are they for?" wondered Tadatada.
"They are..." Pat!k fell silent for a few moments. "I can't explain," he finished. "I don't know how to say it. But there's one more that has to be found."
"What did they say?" whispered Dobby to Pokey.
"Pat!k knows what these things are," Pokey whispered back. "He saw them in his vision."
"What are they?" asked Dobby.
"He said he can't explain," Pokey whispered, "but there's one more to be found."
They all fell silent. Ch!kch!k reached out for the burnt clam-shell. Tadatada seized her hand and held it.
They were still standing there, gazing at the three ruins, when the creak of the kitchen door let them know that someone had come home. They all started and looked at each other. "We should go greet them first," Pokey whispered to Dobby, "especially you since you already know Harry Potter." Dobby nodded and dashed towards the kitchen, where voices could now be heard. Pokey turned to the others. "Look, after the reaction we got before, I think Dobby and I should prepare the humans before they see you. Maybe they won't be so shocked that way." Pat!k and Tadatada nodded. "So... I'll come back to get you soon." Pokey hurried towards the kitchen. Tadatada and Pat!k sat down to wait.
Pokey entered the kitchen as Dobby was saying, "Dobby is so happy to see you again, Harry Potter, and your two friends. And Dobby is honoured to meet you, Mistress Wheezy." He bowed.
"It's nice to meet you too, Dobby." Pokey saw Mistress Wheezy's eyes flicker from the bowing Dobby to Pokey. "You can call me Molly, if you'd like--and you brought a friend, did you?"
Pokey stopped and swept into a bow. "Pokey places himself at your service, Mistress," he said to the floor.
"Oh, thank you," said Molly, sounding pleased. "We've never had a house-elf in here before--you can probably tell."
Pokey straightened up to have a look at who else was present, wondering uneasily if Molly was expecting him to do any work around the house. He might have to explain later that he was retired. To the right of Harry Potter, there was a tall red-headed boy and a girl with bushy brown hair. Both were looking at him with mild interest. Pokey bowed to them as well, saying, "Pokey is honoured to meet Harry Potter's friends."
"I'm Hermione, and this is Ron," said the girl. "You're a Hogwarts elf, aren't you? You're wearing their crest on your towel."
"Mistress Hermione is observant," said Pokey. "I am bonded to Hogwarts, but I am retired, due to my age, so I was able to come with Dobby." He was secretly pleased to have found a way to work his retirement status into the conversation.
"Well, I'm glad they let you retire, at least," said Hermione primly. Ron glanced at her and grinned.
"So," Molly broke in, "To what do we owe the pleasure?"
"We have come to help Harry Potter fight He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!" Dobby piped up.
A shadow of a smile crossed Harry's face. "Gee, that's nice of you..."
"But, er..." Pokey broke in, feeling he'd better get it over with, "It's not just the two of us."
"You mean, you've brought other house-elves?" asked Hermione, her eyebrows lifting slightly.
"Yes--er, no, not exactly. The thing is, you see, they are elves, but they're not house-elves. Quite." Pokey picked up a piece of his towel and dabbed his forehead.
"There are other kinds of elves?" Ron said, surprised.
"Oh yes, Ron Wheezy," cried Dobby. "These elves are wood elves who live in the Forbidden Forest, but they came out to look for Harry Potter because one of them had a vision and he knew he and his family had to help Harry Potter so that everyone can be saved from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!"
"A vision?" Ron wrinkled his forehead. "A house-elf had a vision?"
"Not a house-elf, Ron," corrected Hermione, "a wood elf."
"Well, whatever," said Ron, "but I never heard of an elf having a vision."
"I don't see why elves shouldn't have seers just as wizards do," countered Hermione. "It makes perfect sense to me."
"Family?" Molly repeated. "How many of these... wood elves, are there?"
"Three, Mistress," replied Pokey.
"Are they waiting outside, then?"
"No, they're waiting in the sitting room," Pokey replied.
"Oh." Molly's laugh had a slight edge to it. "You did make yourselves at home, didn't you?"
"When I first met Dobby, he was sitting on my bed," said Harry with a wry smile.
"Well, let's go meet these elves, then," said Molly. She walked towards the hallway. Pokey darted in front of her.
"The thing is, Mistress Molly," began Pokey, twisting his towel nervously, "These elves don't wear towels, and Pokey tried to get them to wear the Hogwarts towels, and they wouldn't, and Mistress Dursley was very upset with them, so I want you to know before you see them, that, that, these elves don't wear no towels," he concluded, quivering.
"Well!" Molly looked astounded at this outburst. "Why should they wear towels? They can wear whatever they want, as far as I'm concerned."
"But that's just it," whimpered Pokey, "They don't want to wear... anything."
There was a pause at this news. A wide grin slowly spread across Harry's face. "You mean they're naked," he said, clearly amused by this idea.
"Brilliant!" cried Ron, also grinning. "Naked house-elves!"
"They're not house-elves, Ron," cried Hermione impatiently.
"All right, Hermione, all right. I just always wondered what they looked like under those pillowcases and towels and things."
"It looks as though this is your big chance to find out," said Hermione.
"Yes, I suppose so," mused Molly. She looked as if she was not quite sure how she ought to take this news. "I imagine we can find something for them to put on." She started down the hallway, Pokey and Dobby trotting at her heels. Harry, Ron and Hermione followed.
"Wow," Ron murmured to Harry, "There really are wild elves. Running around in the Forbidden Forest naked."
"Then you haven't heard of this before," Harry commented.
"No! I thought all the elves were bonded to a house. 'Cept the odd ones like Dobby," he added. "I wonder if they'll be carrying little spears?"
They entered the sitting room. At first they couldn't see a trace of the elves. For all they could tell, the sitting room was empty. But Pokey scurried up to the coffee table and spoke to it in a strange language that included clicks and pops in and among the usual vowels and consonants.
They saw two pairs of bat-like ears rise above the coffee table. Then two elves emerged. One of them led a tiny elf by the hand. The other one looked at Harry with recognition. "Harry Potter," he said in a high-pitched voice.
"Oh!" Molly gasped, "She's got a baby! Isn't it precious..."
They were, indeed, naked.
"May I introduce Pat!k, Tadatada and little Ch!kch!k," said Pokey, gesturing at each elf in turn. Foreheads wrinkled in consternation.
"Patuck?" said Hermione.
"Pat!k," said Pat!k.
"Well, Tada is easy enough at least," said Molly.
"Your pardon, Mistress, but it is Tadatada, not Tada," explained Pokey.
"That seems a bit repetitive," remarked Molly.
"All right, how about this?" said Hermione. "We're having trouble with the pronunciation, so we'll call them Pa-tuck and Chick-chick. And... Tada for short. How about that?"
Harry didn't say a word. He just grinned as if this was the best thing he'd experienced in a long time. But Ron said, in an oddly strangled voice, "Excuse me," then turned and dashed up the stairs.
"Oh dear, what's gotten into him?" Molly wondered as she gazed up the stairs after her son.
"I'll go find out," said Hermione, and ran up the stairs after Ron.
***
Hermione found Ron in his bedroom. He was clasping his hands and gazing at them, looking horrified.
"Ron," said Hermione. "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?" he repeated in a choked little voice. "Hermione... they were naked."
"Well, yes." She approached the bed. "We all saw that. We were warned, in fact, and you seemed to quite like the idea."
"Yeah, but that was before I saw them. I mean, all right, I could deal with the man elf having a, you know, a thing--"
"Oh Ron," sighed Hermione.
"But she had... she had..." Ron flapped his hands about in the air, and his voice got strangely high, "Hermione, she had tits!"
Hermione plunked herself onto the bed beside Ron. "She does, doesn't she? I expect it's so she can breastfeed her baby."
"Gaah!" cried Ron, throwing his hands up over his face.
"Honestly, Ron, I don't know why you're making such a big deal about this," said Hermione, shaking her head. "It's not as if you haven't seen breasts before."
"Yeah, but they weren't on a house-elf!" wailed Ron.
"They're not house-elves, Ron," said Hermione for the third time.
"Whatever," said Ron from behind his hands.
"What were you expecting, anyway?" she asked.
"I don't know... not that!"
"I just don't see.... Oh," said Hermione.
Ron peeked at her from between his fingers.
"I think I know what this is about," said Hermione softly.
"What?" said Ron, slowly lowering his hands.
"You're afraid you're going to feel... sexually excited from looking at Tada's breasts."
The hands went flying up again.
"Or maybe you did feel sexually excited when you looked at Tada's breasts, and you don't know how to deal with it."
Ron cried from behind his hands, "I am not some kind of perv who gets turned on by house-elves!"
"Wood elves," Hermione corrected him.
"Whatever."
"Mm-hm." Hermione nodded sagely. "That's it." She looked at Ron, who was leaning over with his head between his hands. "Look Ron, you're making too much of this. I mean, it's not as if you're going to, you know, do anything with the elf."
"Noooo way!"
"Well then?" Hermione waited, then placed a hand on Ron's shoulder. "Ron, I swear I'm not going to be a bit jealous if you look at the elf. I do not feel threatened by the elf."
Ron dropped his hands. "I can't do it, Hermione," he said. "I can't go down there and face, er...."
"Tada and her tits," finished Hermione.
"Yeah."
"So what are you going to do then? Stay in your room all evening?"
"Hey," Ron said slowly, "I've got loads of jumpers; you know my mother's been giving me one for Christmas every year for ages. I could give them a couple of jumpers to wear."
"Oh yes, I suppose that might work," said Hermione thoughtfully.
Ron jumped up and opened a drawer. "They'll be perfect," he enthused. "Those elves are so small, they'll cover everything!"
***
As Hermione dashed up the stairs, Pokey said to the wood elves, "That was Ron who ran up, and the girl following was Hermione." He threw a curious glance up the stairs. "And this human woman is Molly, and this human boy is--"
"Harry Potter," Pat!k said again, stepping forward for a closer look.
Harry was used to being recognized, given his status as the only person to have ever survived a killing curse--and as a baby on top of that--and having a scar that forever reminded everyone of the fact. "They've heard of me even in the Forbidden Forest, have they?"
"Not until today, sir," said Pokey.
"Not until today?" Harry repeated, puzzled.
"Yes sir, when Pat!k had his vision. Right after lunch." Pokey turned to Pat!k and said a few words to him in the click language. Pat!k nodded.
"Really?" said Molly. "A vision?"
"Yes," said Pokey.
"But what did he see exactly?" asked Molly.
Pokey and Dobby looked at each other. No one had, until now, thought to ask this question. In all the excitement, it had apparently been overlooked.
He turned to Pat!k and told him what Molly wanted to know. Pat!k looked reluctant, but hesitantly began to speak. Pokey translated, sentence by sentence.
Pat!k had seen a wizard, and knew that he was evil. He saw him change over time, becoming pale and gaunt, his eyes turning red. Pat!k saw many humans lying dead and knew that this wizard was responsible.
He then saw six little objects. He knew they were evil and must be destroyed, but he didn't know why or how. (Harry interjected at this point and told them that the little objects were called "Horcruxes".) Pat!k saw each Horcrux disintegrate in turn--all but one. He knew that only his daughter could reach that one.
He saw a terrible future with more killings and destruction, and the enslavement of every last wood elf, including his daughter. Then he saw a human boy with a scar on his face, and knew that he was The Boy Who Lived, Harry Potter, and that the scar was a remnant of the evil wizard's attempt to kill him. He knew that he had to find Harry Potter.
Then the vision dissolved, and he just heard words repeating in his head: "Find Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Harry Potter." So when he recovered and went to find Tadatada and tell her what had happened, he remembered the name perfectly.
"Oh. Well. That's quite an experience," said Molly.
At that moment, Ron came galloping down the stairs with a smile on his face and a pile of knitted maroon in his arms. Hermione followed at a more sedate pace.
"Here we go!" Ron moved to put the jumpers on the table, but when he saw the ex-Horcruxes, he did a ninety-degree turn and laid them on the sofa nearest the elves. "Clothes for the house-elves."
"Ronnnnnn..." groaned Hermione.
"Clothes for the wild elves, or whatever they call themselves."
Pat!k got a sour look on his face, but Tadatada pulled one of the jumpers off the sofa. She gazed at it for a moment, clearly unsure what to do with it. Then inspiration struck, and she wrapped it around herself sideways and tied the arms over one shoulder, in imitation of Pokey's towel toga.
"Not exactly," said Hermione, stepping forward to help. Ron stopped her with a touch on the arm.
"Close enough," he said. "As long as everything's covered." Pat!k was already arranging his jumper in imitation of his mate.
"I suppose I'd better start preparing supper," Molly commented. "Would any of the elves like to help?"
"Dobby will be honoured to prepare supper for Mistress Wheezy!" cried Dobby, rushing to Molly's side. "Just instruct Dobby, and he will do everything!"
"Oh, this makes a nice change," said Molly, looking pleased as she led Dobby down the hall to the kitchen.
Harry, Hermione and Ron sat on one of the sofas, and Harry brought them up to date on what Pat!k had said while they were upstairs.
"Well," said Hermione, "his vision was sort of accurate. We've found and destroyed five Horcruxes, and there's one more left. But..."
"The last Horcrux is Nagini, right?" Ron interjected.
"That's what Dumbledore said." Harry nodded.
Hermione crouched on the ground and gazed at the baby elf. She was tiny, not a foot long. "Didn't Patuck say that his daughter would be important?"
"I know," said Harry. "It doesn't make sense. What's a baby elf going to do against a giant snake?"
"Excuse me," Pokey politely put in. "Giant snake, did you say?"
"That's right," said Harry, and he explained that Nagini was Voldemort's pet snake, and he had used her as a Horcrux when he missed his chance to make one by murdering Harry.
Pokey turned to the wood elves and started translating. It looked as if he had forgotten how to say 'snake' in wood-elf, as he stopped speaking and made slithering motions with one hand. Pat!k's eyes widened and he shook his head vigorously.
"Pat!k says no," Pokey reported, turning back to the three humans.
"No?" Harry's brow furrowed. "He says no to what?"
"It is not a snake."
"You mean," said Hermione, settling into a cross-legged position on the floor next to the elves, "The last Horcrux is not a snake? It's not Nagini?"
"That's what he says," Pokey affirmed.
There was a moment of silence. The three humans exchanged glances.
"But Dumbledore said it was Nagini," said Harry stubbornly.
Pokey shrugged helplessly.
"Well, how does he know?"
"He's seen all the... what you call them."
"Horcruxes."
"He's seen all the Horcruxes. They are all small, constructed objects, not living things. None of them are snakes. Especially not giant snakes," he added after a pause.
"So if it's not Nagini, what is it?"
Pokey stared at his feet. "You see," he began, "the problem is... er... one moment please." He went into a discussion with Pat!k for a moment, then turned back to Harry. "You see, the wood elves do not build things, as humans do. And they have lived in the forest all their lives, so they have seen almost nothing of human-built things. Pat!k has no words for what he has seen."
"Imagine," said Hermione, gazing into space. "Everything they've seen of, oh, buildings, utensils, all the things we use and take for granted every day... the first time they've seen any of that is... today."
"So?" said Ron.
"So!" Hermione raised her hands in an impatient gesture. "Must be a lot to take in, don't you think?"
Ron looked blank. Harry said, "But can't he describe what it looks like?"
"All he can say is that it's shiny," Pokey replied.
"It's shiny," repeated Harry in a flat voice. "Oh well. That narrows it down. Everything Voldemort used as a Horcrux was shiny!" Ron and Pokey winced at the mention of the name, but Harry paid no attention.
"Well, not everything. The diary wasn't shiny," Hermione pointed out.
Harry sighed heavily. "Yes, you're right, Hermione. The diary wasn't shiny. Thank you for pointing that out." He dropped his head in his hands. Everyone watched him with concern.
"Damn," he said, his voice muffled in his hands. "I was prepared. I had myself all worked up to face Voldemort, because Nagini would be by his side, right?"
"But if Patuck is right, at least it buys you more time," Hermione said.
"I don't want more time!" Harry shouted, thumping his fists on his thighs. "I want to get it over with! Dumbledore's dead, Lupin's dead, Tonks and Moody are in St. Mungo's, and this just goes on and on and on..."
Hermione started to get up, to go over to Harry and make a comforting gesture, but Tadatada beat her to it. She stood up and looked directly into Harry's eyes, which suddenly seemed to her to be ancient, and full of old hurts and hard life far beyond his years.
She walked slowly towards him, gazing into his eyes the whole time. Everyone watched her go.
When she reached him, she took one of his hands in both of hers, and said, "You poor boy."
The room was quite silent then, so silent that they could hear Dobby bustling about in the kitchen, and Molly telling him to be sure not to put too much wine in the gravy; just a dash. Then Harry turned away from Tadatada's tennis-ball-sized eyes full of sympathy and said to Pokey, "What did she say?"
"She said," Pokey searched his mind for a suitably formal and polite way of phrasing Tadatada's outburst, but could think of nothing that would be remotely credible. "She said, 'You poor boy.'"
"Right," said Harry. The trouble was, he thought, that he had to be strong all the time. He couldn't break down; he couldn't cry. Merlin knew when he would ever stop, and there was no time for that. There was too much he had to do. There was that awesome burden that the prophecy had laid on him. Once he'd destroyed the last Horcrux, once he'd sent Voldemort to his long-overdue final rest, then there would be time for tears.
"Yeah, er... thanks," Harry said awkwardly to Tadatada, and attempted a smile that failed almost instantly. Then he slowly but firmly extracted his hand from her grasp.
There followed an awkward silence that was, thankfully, broken by Molly announcing dinner.