Harry placed the ruined Gryffindor pacifier on the battered coffee table with its brothers. "I feel as if there should be some sort of ceremony for this," he remarked.
Molly cradled Tadatada's hand in hers and smoothed ointment onto the bright red burn that the Horcrux had left on her palm. "Is she certain she won't go to St. Mungo's?" Molly asked Pokey.
"She's not taking me to one of those human places," snapped Tadatada.
"Tadatada says thank you for the offer, but she will be fine," Pokey creatively translated.
Molly looked hard at him, then smiled. "You've missed your calling I'm afraid, Pokey," she said. "You really should be a diplomat."
"If the Ministry of Magic should offer a paid position, I might be persuaded to come out of retirement," said Pokey gravely. Ron stared at him. Dobby grinned.
"You know what bothers me?" said Harry. "It seems too easy." Ron raised his eyebrows at him. "No, really. What did we have to do there?"
"We didn't do much, because the elves did most of it," Hermione pointed out. "And while we're on the subject--Pokey, please tell Patuck and Tada how grateful we are for their help."
"Yeah, we really are." Harry nodded.
"With pleasure." Pokey beamed, then turned to Pat!k and Tadatada. A conversation began between them as Harry returned to the subject of the Horcrux.
"Hermione, even so," Harry ploughed on over the high-pitched talk, "swallowing the Horcrux--Voldemort didn't see that coming? He takes something that is made for putting in little kid's mouths, and makes it into a Horcrux, and he didn't anticipate that anybody would bite it in half and swallow it?"
"There's something that Voldemort didn't anticipate, I think," said Hermione thoughtfully. "Patuck heard a voice when the Horcrux was in his mouth."
"Yeah..."
"Well... Voldemort is good at seducing people. He seduced two people through his diary. But one thing he didn't foresee, I think, is the possibility that whoever tried to steal his Horcrux wouldn't understand English."
Harry blinked.
"The words wouldn't have any effect on Patuck, you see, because he didn't understand them," Hermione concluded.
"Excuse me," said Pokey.
"I wonder what he said?" Ron mused. "I guess we'll never know..."
"Excuse me!" Pokey repeated more loudly. They all turned to him. He cleared his throat importantly. "The wood elves accept your thanks, and in return for their services in helping to save the world, they request a small favour."
Molly's eyes narrowed.
"They want the Ministry of Magic to abolish slavery."
Ron gasped. Hermione smiled. Molly looked relieved. "That seems entirely reasonable," she responded.
"Reasonable? Reasonable?" Ron's squeak was almost as high-pitched as an elf's. "But we can't... they're house-elves... they don't want to..."
"Oh Ron, honestly." Hermione rolled her eyes. "You don't get it, this is progress, sooner or later the Ministry will have to do it."
"No, you don't get it Hermione, and neither do these freaky nudist elves, because they've lived in the forest their whole lives and they don't know that house-elves want to work--"
"I beg your pardon," said Pokey indignantly. "I don't believe anybody said anything about house-elves not working."
Ron stared at him.
"I said, 'abolish slavery.' House-elves certainly can, and certainly will, continue to work."
"Yes, of course," said Hermione. "They'll simply get wages, and holidays and weekends off, like everyone else." She smiled in a self-satisfied sort of way.
"No they won't!" cried Ron. "Hermione, house-elves don't want to get paid, they're insulted if you pay them! Look at Winky. Mr. Crouch freed her, and she became a lush! And she won't accept wages. She wears clothes because she has to, and she's miserable!"
"Nothing will be forced upon house-elves!" shrieked Pokey. "That is the whole point. House-elves have already had service forced upon them for two hundred and fifty years; they will not have wages, clothes or holidays forced on them now. That is not what the wood elves are asking for!"
"But then... I don't understand," said Hermione weakly.
Pokey sighed, and turned to Tadatada and Pat!k. He gave a quick translation of what he had said as well as Hermione's response, then added stealthily, under the guise of continuing to translate, "We really are the more intelligent species, aren't we?" Tadatada and Pat!k smiled.
Pokey turned back to Hermione. "The wood elves wish the end of slavery. That means lifting all binding spells---that is all. Elves may continue to work for their masters for free if they wish to. And many will. The point is, it will be their choice."
"So then... we'll still have elves at Hogwarts, right? Cooking meals and everything?" Ron asked.
"He knows where his priorities lie," muttered Hermione.
"Yes, yes, the vast majority of Hogwarts elves, if not all of them, will choose to stay at Hogwarts even if the binding spells are lifted. It's their home. And I think most of them wouldn't dream of accepting wages either."
"Oh well, that's not too bad then," said Ron. "I guess that's all right."
"But... elves should want to have wages and holidays and that," Hermione persisted. "They should want equality."
"Elves want what elves want," declared Pokey. "You can't change that. What's important is that it be the elf's choice."
"Nothing will change, but everything will change!" Dobby clapped his hands. "It's a brilliant idea! Brilliant! Tell them thank you from me too, Pokey!"
"Oh well," said Hermione, "as long as it's their choice. And maybe, once they get used to freedom, they'll want wages and holidays."
"No doubt our great grandchildren will be forming unions," Pokey said drily. "Does that please you, Mistress Hermione?"
"Yes, it does," Hermione replied.
"It's all very nice to dream," Molly broke in. "But we must stress that we don't have that much influence with the Ministry."
"All they're asking," said Pokey, "is that you put their request before the Ministry."
"I will," said Harry. "Once I've gotten rid of Voldemort... if I'm still alive afterwards..."
"Of course you'll be," Hermione interrupted uneasily.
"I should think the Ministry will offer me a reward, and I'll say, I had a little help from some elves, and here's what they want..."
"Won't you ask for anything for yourself?" asked Molly.
Harry shook his head. "I'll have what I want," he said. "Voldemort gone. And as for the other things I want..." His eyes took on a haunted look. "The Ministry can't give them to me. Or keep them safe for me." He shook his head. "The Ministry has nothing I want. Well... except maybe a job as an Auror."
"If you get rid of the most powerful evil wizard of our time, they'd have to be imbeciles not to hire you," Molly reassured him.
Harry smiled. "Yeah, well," he said, "it is government, you know."
Harry Potter and the Wild Elves by VivianU
Chapter Notes: Didn't make it. Oh well.