Catching A Flower
*Disclaimer*- Messrs. Fuzzbutt and Fantail do not now, nor will they ever, claim to be J.K. Rowling. They own none of the characters or situations presented by Ms. Rowling in any of her brilliantly written books.
Chapter Sixteen- The Breakdowns of Lily Evans
(Looking Forward and Kicking Behind)
After staying up and spilling everything to Marlene and Emmeline for what felt like hours to the already exhausted Lily, she was finally allowed to get some sleep. Unfortunately, sun spilling into the room prevented her from getting as much as she'd have liked, and she awoke feeling groggy, but somehow elated. She thought back to the night before and her heart leaped as she remembered saying yes to James when he'd asked her out. She grinned widely.
Bounding from her bed, Lily quickly showered and dressed before skipping down into the common room to find James.
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James awoke, slightly earlier than Lily, to his alarm. He smacked the cursed item that had awakened him from one of the greatest dreams he'd ever had. It had seemed so real, and he wished very much that it had been true. He sighed.
In his dream, he'd gotten up the nerve to ask Lily out. In his dream, Lily had said yes. Why couldn't that be true?
He crawled out of bed and went downstairs into the common room to brood and sulk in front of the fire. When Lily came skipping down into the room and practically tackled him with a forceful hug, he was, to say the least, surprised and quite happy.
When she kissed him, he recalled his dream and, a bit belatedly, realized that it hadn't been a dream at all. He felt happier than he could ever recall feeling before.
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After breakfast, during which Sirius remarked to Emmeline that James and Lily were reminding him of the disgusting closeness of Remus and Marlene, (to which Marlene flicked Sirius 'in a fit of viciousness'), James asked Lily if she’d like to go for a walk with him. Lily, of course, agreed.
The couple decided on a walk around the lake, and after bundling up warmly, (for after all, it was January), were off on a first date of sorts since having made their status 'official' the evening before.
James slipped his hand into Lily's not far into the walk, and smiled when Lily entwined her gloved fingers in his. She smiled back at him and they slipped into easy conversation.
“It's beautiful out here," Lily commented, gazing at the ice covered lake surrounded by picturesque snow-covered pines. Snow was lightly falling, and the whiteness of their surroundings made Lily’s fiery hair stand out sharply against the stark background.
"It is beautiful," James said, "but I can think of one thing in particular that's more beautiful."
"And what's that?" Lily asked.
"You," James said simply.
Lily blushed, wondering briefly why that sort of comment had ceased to anger her. She realized, then, that it was his sincerity and her trust in it.
"You think I'm beautiful?" Lily asked insecurely.
"I always have," James answered, gazing at her so intensely that Lily had to look away.
"Thank you," she murmured softly, not sure how else to reply.
James kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer so that he could wrap his arm around her shoulders. She put her arm around his waist and leaned into him slightly as they walked on in a companionable silence.
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"I'm scared, James," Lily said quietly after a while.
"Of what?" James asked, concerned, tightening his hold around her shoulders.
"Everything," Lily answered. "Where do I go after school? What do I do?"
"You still have five months to figure this out, Lily," James said.
"I'm still worried..."
"Have you thought at all about what career you'd like to have?" James asked.
"I... well, I'm thinking of becoming a Healer, but I'm not certain," Lily said, blushing slightly.
"You'd be brilliant at it, Lily. You'd be brilliant at whatever you decide to do."
Lily, not wanting the conversation to stay on her, decided to turn the tables. "What do you want to do after school, James?" she asked.
"Well, I know it probably sounds silly, but I want to be an Auror," James said.
"Why would that be silly?"
James shrugged. "It's really hard to be accepted as an Auror. They don't just let anyone in, and your marks in school have to be really high. And... well, I suppose I really want to do it to keep those close to me safe."
“How is any of that silly? James, fighting for a cause is noble, not silly. I think you're wonderful for that."
"Why, Miss Evans I believe that is the first real compliment I've ever gotten from you," James said, grinning.
Lily smiled, but suddenly her smile turned and she burst into tears, bewildering James thoroughly.
"Lily? Lily, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. It's alright, don't cry," he said in a rush, turning to her as she looked towards the ground.
"No," Lily sniffled. "It's not your fault," she said, tears still streaming down her face. "No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... it's just I'm so scared. Five months, and we'll be out in the world of murderers and Dark Lords and I j-just don't feel safe at all. They got my parents, James, who's to say they won't get me, too?" She wiped at her face.
James was at a loss for words. Her confidence and grace had gone, and he found he loved her all the more for her hidden vulnerability. But he felt anger rising in his chest at the danger that upset her, and a protectiveness even stronger rising above.
"Oh, I feel so silly now, crying like a child. I'm sorry, this is ridiculous..." Lily muttered.
James's brow creased. "Don't you be sorry for that, Lil. Don't you ever be sorry for feeling scared. Merlin, Lily, we're all scared." He pulled her into a hug.
Time stood still as they held onto each other.
“I’ll always be there for you, Lily,” James whispered after a time. “And so will everyone else who cares for you.”
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James, Lily, Remus, Sirius, Emmeline, and Marlene were all heading back up to the common room. Somehow Lily, Remus, and Marlene had convinced the rest that studying for NEWTs was a necessity, and thus there was much complaining on the way back.
"Lily, we've got five months," Emmeline whined. "That's certainly plenty of time for me to study."
Sirius nodded in agreement. "And James and I are brilliant so this is completely useless to us."
"Brilliant as you undoubtedly are," Remus said, "you can't always remember everything, so glancing over a few notes isn't going to kill you."
"Well I don't have enough notes to glance over for five months," Sirius protested further. "I'd be lucky to have enough notes to glance over for five minutes."
"Well, you can use mine," Emmeline said.
Lily raised an eyebrow. "Emm, you don't take notes, either."
Emmeline blushed. "Yes, well... I did in first year, and we'll have to go over that because everything we've ever learnt will be on the exams so... there."
Lily whitened somewhat as she was once again reminded of the extent of the tests. "I'll need to dig those notes out soon," she muttered, more to herself than to anyone else.
"Speaking of digging," snarled a voice from behind the group, "you should probably start digging your own grave soon. They killed your good-for-nothing parents. You're next, Mudblood."
James whirled around (as did the others, but James was certainly the first to do so), his face red with anger. "You take that back," he snarled, his wand an centimeter away from the face of the insulter, Bellatrix Black. Behind her were Slytherins Regulus Black, Rodolphus Lestrange, and Severus Snape.
"Stop it, James," Lily said warily, pulling his wand arm gently down and away from Bellatrix.
"Yes, do stop," sneered Severus. "If you don‘t, why, a certain Dark Lord may find reason to kill you, too. First her parents, then you. The poor Mudblood would be parent-less and boyfriend-less."
Lily glared. "Oh, keep up with your taunting," she said coldly. "It only gets more pathetic."
"So did your parents' pleas," Regulus said in a quiet but cold voice, “but they were killed in the end. You‘ll be next."
In the back of her mind, Lily knew they were just trying to provoke her. However, in the front of Lily's mind, something snapped. "Petrificus Totalus!" Lily yelled at the same time that Sirius yelled out, “Stupefy!” Regulus fell to the ground, unconscious and stiff as a board.
Bellatrix, not being one to back away from a fight, gave a predatory smile and hissed, "Engorgio!" The spell hit Sirius's foot, which began swelling horribly and at a fast pace.
In retaliation, both James and Emmeline turned on Bellatrix, but by this time spells were flying every which way from both the Slytherins and the Gryffindors so that one could hardly tell what was coming from where.
When James and Emmeline had turned to fire spells at Bellatrix, Severus took that opportunity to aim a few of his own at his least favorite of the group: Lily. He sneered the incantation of what Lily recognized to be the Conjuctivitus Curse.
She, however, was too quick for him. "Protego!" Lily yelled. She was shielded from the curse. Not even two seconds later, Snape was blasted backward from a rather forceful disarming spell from Lily. He hit the wall and fell.
Meanwhile, Bellatrix fell, a combination Jelly-Legs Jinx and boil curse causing her to lose her balance. Rodolphus was shooting spells at Remus and Marlene, both of whom were attempting to stop the swelling of Sirius's foot and, more importantly, stop him from trying to pummel the unconscious form of his younger brother.
"Reducio," Remus finally muttered, decreasing Sirius's foot to normal size, before he was hit with a jet of fiery sparks which burnt his arm courtesy of Rodolphus. He scowled and calmly sent a "Stupefy" at his attacker as if he were nothing more than a slight nuisance. Rodolphus hit the ground with a thud.
Lily stood in front of the wobbling Bellatrix who had dropped her wand to scratch at the boils (from Emmeline) covering her skin. Lily pointed her wand at Bellatrix’s nose. She opened her mouth to utter the incantation for the Bat-Bogey Hex when she was interrupted by a stern voice from down the hallway.
“What is going on here?” Professor McGonagall asked forcefully. Lily’s wand hand dropped to her side immediately. McGonagall looked at the group of Gryffindors. “Both Heads and a Prefect?” she asked, looking at the silent Lily, James, and Remus. “This is unacceptable behavior from all of-”
“Professor,” James interrupted, “you have to understand that we were provoked. You know we don’t just attack anyone an-”
"Who fired the first spell?” McGonagall asked sharply.
Lily looked to the ground. “I did,” she said quietly.
“Miss Evans I expected much more from you,” said McGonagall with disappointment in her voice.
“Lily didn’t fire the first spell,” Sirius suddenly broke in. “I did. Well, we fired at the same time, but mine hit first, so it was my fault.”
“And even though she fired a spell, you can’t blame her,” Emmeline said. “The Slytherins were taunting her about her parents, saying she would be next.”
“Miss Black,” McGonagall addressed Bellatrix, “is this true?”
Bellatrix grinned evilly. “We were just warning her, of course.”
James raised his wand angrily but stopped abruptly when McGonagall snapped at him. “Mr. Potter! That is quite enough! Do any of you have injuries that must be addressed at once?” she asked the Gryffindors. They shook their heads. “Then go to my classroom and wait there while I get these four taken care of.”
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Lily sat on a desk in McGonagall’s classroom, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Sirius and Emmeline were going over the spells they’d hit different people with, and Marlene was fussing over the burn on Remus’s arm while Remus insisted that he was fine and that he would heal soon.
James sat down next to Lily and pulled her to him. “It’s alright, Lily. She’ll go easy on us,” James murmured softly.
Lily didn’t answer at first, but after a few moments of listening to Sirius go over the look on Bellatrix’s face as Lily pointed her wand at her at the end Lily said, “I initiated a duel in the corridors, James.”
James held back a smile. So that was what she was upset about- she‘d broken the school rules and set a bad example. “It’s fine, Lily,” he said to her.
Lily tensed and pulled away from him slightly, “It is not fine,” she said angrily. “I’ve not only broken rules, but I’ve also set a horrible example and disappointed my Head of House and anyone else who hears of this. I’ve ruined the respect that the students have for me, and I may have ruined my position as Head Girl!”
James stifled a chuckle, assuming (quite correctly) that it would only anger Lily further. “Dumbledore would never take away your Head Girl position. Who else would do fill it so well? And believe me, students are going to respect you even more for finally showing those Slytherins a thing or two about dueling. Even McGonagall, I’m sure, is going to come in here and say something along the lines of, ‘Although I doubt you are much to blame in the fight which occurred, I must nevertheless punish you for your actions,’ and give us lines as punishment.”
At that moment, Professor McGonagall entered. “Although I doubt the lot of you are much to blame for what transpired in the hallway, I must nevertheless punish you for your actions. (Lily here gave James a queer look. James shrugged and grinned.) I’ve decided to let Professor Walker deal with the punishments of the Slytherins. As for you, each one of you will have to write lines for an hour after dinner for a week. Detentions start tomorrow, you will all meet here in the classroom. I, unfortunately, will be assisting another teacher on a matter during that time, so I’ll have to trust you to behave and write your lines.” There was an odd twinkle in Professor McGonagall’s eyes as she said the last part, convincing Lily that there really was no matter to attend to and McGonagall wanted to make their punishment as unlike a punishment as possible. “Any questions?”
“Must I come?” Sirius asked.
Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes. “Yes, Black, you must come. If there are no further questions, you all may leave. However, Miss Evans I’d like a quick word with you.” Lily’s face took on a slightly frightened quality, but she nodded nonetheless. James squeezed her shoulder reassuringly and left with Emmeline, Sirius, Marlene, and Remus.
As the door shut behind them, McGonagall turned to Lily, a concerned look on her face. “Miss Evans, you are not normally one to initiate fights. Is there something going on which you’d like to speak about?”
Lily shook her head, looking down at her feet guiltily. “No, nothing. I just… they speak about killing and death as if it’s a good thing and something just snapped. I couldn’t take it. I don’t know what I was thinking, and I feel awful about what happened.”
Professor McGonagall seemed to be concentrating hard on something privy to only herself for a moment before looking back to Lily. “Sometimes our emotions take over our actions without our consent. I’m afraid this is one of those moments. For you to have attacked as you did, there must have been strong provocation. You must understand, however, that fellow students are not the only ones who will attempt to provoke you into something such as a duel. The Wizarding World is on the brink of a war; you must be wary.”
Lily, who had been looking up at McGonagall in curiosity and interest as she spoke nodded, determined not to let such a thing get to her in the future. “Thank you, Professor.”
Professor McGonagall nodded. “You may go back to your common room now, Miss Evans. Remember what I’ve told you.”
“I will,” Lily said honestly, leaving the room.
James was waiting outside the door when Lily came out. “What was that about?” he asked her as they started toward the common room.
“She gave me some advice is all,” Lily answered.
“Well that’s odd,” James said, crinkling his brow in slight confusion.
Lily didn’t answer, her thoughts swirling. On the brink of war… “James, what you said earlier about always being there… did you mean that?” she finally asked, a hint of insecurity in her voice.
James looked at Lily sharply. “Of course I did,” he said. “I couldn’t leave you if I tried.”
Lily took James’s hand in her. “Good,” she said, and then more quietly, “I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t, Lily,” James said, gazing at her concernedly. “Nothing can take me away from you,” he pointed out sincerely.
Lily looked up at him and smiled. Perhaps, even on the brink of war and without her parents, they would be alright.
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Authors’ Notes: So ends chapter sixteen. There is one more chapter after this. (We changed from twenty to seventeen in order to get this finished before HBP. Unfortunately, we've been having issues with Mugglenet, so the seventeen chapters aren't up here, yet.) We're sorry for the slowness in getting this up- again, having issues with Mugglenet.
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