*Disclaimer*- Messrs. Fuzzbutt and Fantail do not now, nor will they ever, claim to be J.K. Rowling. They own none of the characters or situations presented by Ms. Rowling in any of her brilliantly written books.

Authors’ Notes: Those of you reading this- you've made it to chapter two! (So have we, apparently.) Here we go now, y'all.

Chapter Two: A Plague of Poor Potions

"Mum, five more minutes," James grumbled as a hand shook him awake.

A voice that was most definitely not James' mum replied, "No dear! You get up this instant! It's your turn to degnome the garden!"

"Muuuum," James whined, not catching the voice difference, "I did it yesterday!"

"You did not James Philoctetes Potter! Don't give me those lies, I can see right past them."

"Sirius," Remus chuckled, "cut it out. He really thinks you're his mum."

What’s Remus doing at my…oh yeah, we’re at Hogwarts… “My middle name isn’t Philoctetes, you know,” James mumbled.

“What is it then?” Sirius asked.

“Elias,” he said, not bothering to be embarrassed about it. It was too early.

Remus and Sirius burst into laughter. “Elias?” Sirius cried. “Oh that’s priceless! That’s why your mum calls you Jamesie Ellie!”

Remus laughed harder at this. James’ decision to not bother being embarrassed was gone and he turned red. “Well Sirius’ middle name is Mordicus!”

“Prongs!” Sirius spluttered, “you said you wouldn’t tell!”

“Don’t care,” muttered James as Remus cracked up again, and James joined him.

“Guys,” whined a voice from the other bed- Peter's voice, “can you quiet down? I'm tired.”

With this Sirius got a mischievous glint in his eye. "Uh oh," muttered James, voicing Remus' thoughts.

Sirius levitated the pitcher of cold water on Peter's bedside over the unknowing Peter's head. With a flick of his wrist, the whole of it's contents were poured out and Peter was sitting straight up, his pajamas soaked.

“What was that for?!” Peter gasped.

“It was a wake up message,” Sirius said casually. “If we don’t get down to the Great hall in ten minutes, we won’t have time to eat.

Peter’s eyes lit up at the mere mention of food, and so, in ten minutes, the Marauders were ready to go. Their roommate, Frank Longbottom, had already gone down.

As they entered the Great Hall, James did something that none of his friends, nor Lily and her friends, had expected- he steered clear of Lily. He did, however, make sure he had a good view out of her out of the corner of his eye. He noticed she looked about as tired as he felt. And he felt quite tired.

Further down the table, Lily was pondering things as well. James is avoiding me… “He’s avoiding me.”

“Who is?” asked Emmeline. She and Marlene had no idea who Lily was referring to.

“How do you know whoever it is is avoiding you. We’ve only been here a day, Lil,” Marlene pointed out.

“Potter,” Lily said, “he wouldn’t even meet my eyes yesterday, and now he isn’t sitting over here.” She grinned. “He isn’t sitting over here! Oh! He’s finally gotten over me!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Emmeline warned. “I mean, he’s liked you for years. Nobody gets over someone they’ve liked for years over a summer.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Lily said, “but a girl can dream, can’t she?” Lily pondered this dream, but was reminded of her thoughts from the previous night. She did want James to stop liking her, right?

“Timetables,” said the voice of the Transfiguration Professor, Professor McGonagall, as she passed out the students' class schedules, and interrupting Lily’s thoughts.

Lily took her timetable. “Urg,” said Emmeline next to her. “Double NEWT Potions first.” Lily groaned. Perfect way to start a week, that.

“And we have it with the Slytherins,” Marlene pointed out. Even better, Lily thought.

All too soon, the bell rang for the start of the day. Lily, Malene, and Emmeline trudged down to the Potions dungeon, where their Professor- Professor Walker, a woman with a strange cat obsession (she once quizzed the students on the names of her cats) and the head of Slytherin house- was already waiting. Entering the classroom, Lily, Marlene, and Emmeline took their usual seats on the Gryffindor side of the naturally segregated class room.

Once every student was in attendance, Professor Walker gazed at her students, her thin hair lying unkept about her face. “Students!” she said, “today, we will be working on the Flea Be-gone Potion! You will be working individually. I expect it to be done at the end of this class.”

Lily held back a smirk as Emmeline muttered under her breath, “Again? We made three of the Flea Be-gone Potions last year…how the hell do her cats keep getting fleas?” Marlene shushed her, but was biting back a grin herself, as she tried to listen to the rest of the instructions.

James, Sirius, and Remus were at the table behind the girls. (Peter hadn't made NEWT potions.) Sirius heard Emmeline and snorted slightly.

James, however, was preoccupied with the red-head in front of him. As he stirred his potion (only to be stirred 35 times!), he took in the way her hair caught the light, the way she chatted with her friends as she stirred her cauldron. He wondered how she managed to stir, count her stirs, and chat at the same time. He couldn't even do it now- Wait...what number stir was he on?

Suddenly there was a slight explosion. "You stirred 36 times, Mr. Potter. See me after class, for not following instructions. Ten points from Gryffindor."

Lily turned to glare at James. He's already losing us points. It's only the first day back! And he’s Head Boy! He’s supposed to set an example!

James didn't even care that he got in trouble. When Lily looked back and glared at him, however, he felt ashamed, and blushed. "'Mazing how a look can conquer a fool in love, isn't it, Moony?" Sirius said with a snicker. Remus chuckled.

“I’m not in love, Padfoot,” James hissed in reply, “and I’m not a fool.”

“Whatever you say, Prongs, whatever you say.”

-----

The rest of the class proved fairly uneventful. When the bell rang, James walked over to the Professor's desk. “Ms. Evans, if you could stay back for a few minutes as well.” Lily, perplexed, nodded to her friends to go to lunch, and walked to the teacher’s desk, but stayed a bit back so as not to appear that she was eavesdropping.

"Potter," said Professor Walker, "it has come to my attention that you will need tutoring. Although this is a NEWT class and I could just throw you out, your error was minor, and I'm afraid that isn't enough for me to kick you out. I do wish it was, but it's not."

“Wait, a tutor?" James asked. For what? So he stirred one time too many. What was the big deal?

"Yes, Mr. Potter, a tutor. And I know just the right person for the job- Ms. Evans.”

“What? Me?” Lily spluttered. “You can’t be serious!”

“Oh, I’m quite serious, Ms. Evans. Other than Severus, you’re the best student I’ve got, amazingly. And because I don’t feel that Mr. Snape is up to the sort of torture involved in tutoring someone so inept at Potions as Mr. Potter, you’re it, Ms. Evans, you’re it.”

“But, Professor,” said James, “I'm sure you can find someone else. What about Remus? He can tutor me.” As happy as James was at having Lily as his tutor, he really didn't want her angry at him. The reason he needed tutoring in the first place was because he'd be watching her. She'd blow a fuse if she knew that.

“Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans is tutoring you and that's final. Ms. Evans, you are tutoring Mr. Potter, and that is final!” snapped Professor Walker. “And I’ll leave it to you to arrange a schedule. However, if I see no improvement in Mr. Potter’s marks within the next few weeks, there will be consequences, and you shall not like them!”

“Yes Professor,” they chorused unhappily.

Lily couldn't believe her luck- or lack thereof. She had to tutor James bloody Potter! As soon as the dungeon door shut behind them, Lily turned on James. "This is all your fault, Potter! Never do you pay attention! How is it that you managed to screw up a potion we've done three times before? Hmm?"

“Oh, c'mon, Evans,” James said exasperatedly, “give it up already. I don't want to be tutored any more than you want to tutor me. And I can't help it that she chose you to tutor me."

As Lily was about to retort, a slimy voice interrupted her. “Well, well, well,” it said, “if it isn't Potter and his mudblood girlfriend, taking a nice walk through the cheeriest part of the school.”

Lily spun around to see who she had to turn her fury on for calling her Potter's girlfriend. “Bellatrix,” she spat angrily, “how nice of you to acknowledge the presence of your betters.” (Bellatrix was a seventh year Slytherin, cousin to Sirius, and all around pain in the arse.)

James was glad to see the wrath of Lily on someone other than himself, but he wouldn’t let her do it alone. “Emphasis on the ‘better’ part,” he added.

“Oh, shut up, Potter,” Severus Snape said, his greasy hair framing his face. (He was a favourite of Professor Walker's, and the slimiest Slytherin one could ever find.) “Chances are, Evans wasn’t even referring to you as one of the betters.”

“For once you’re right, Snivelly,” Lily growled menacingly. “But I’d rather deal with him than you lot, all the same.”

“Aw, thanks Evans,” James said, grinning despite the predicament.

“Shut up, Potter,” Lily growled at him. Lily was doing a lot of growling.

“Ah, is it nice having a Mudblood order you around, Potter?” asked the third Slytherin, Rodolphus Lestrange.

“Don't you call her that!” James yelled menacingly. “You aren't even good enough to walk the same ground as she does!”

“Stupefy,” Lestrange said lazily.

James, however, was ready. “Protego!” he shouted, and the spell bounced back at Lestrange, who ducked just in time, the spell missing him.

“James Potter!” Lily said, glaring at him with all her might. “As Head Boy, I'd expect you NOT to participate in duels in the hallways! Ten points from Gryffindor, and fifty from Slytherin for initiating a fight. And I'll see to it that Professor Walker issues the proper punishments for you lot!”

“A very wise decision, Ms. Evans,” said Professor McGonagall, who had witnessed the fight. “Mr. Lestrange, Ms. Black, and Mr. Snape, see your Head of House immediately! Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans, you are dismissed to lunch.” With that, Professor McGonagall walked the Slytherins to Professor Walker's office, not trusting them to do it on their own.

With McGonagall out of earshot, Lily turned to James. If looks could kill, James would’ve been dead before he hit the floor. James gulped. “James Elias Potter,” Lily said, her voice deadly calm, “if you ever feel the need to pull heroics and defend me like that again, you'll be on the recieving end of a bat-bogey hex powerful enough to knock you over. I can defend myself. Do you understand?”

James nodded, eyes wide. He was surprised he wasn't already on the recieving end of a bat-bogey hex. She turned on her heel and walked angrily to the Great Hall, James being certain to stay back enough to not bother her. As he entered the Great Hall, he realized something. How does she know my middle name?

----------

“Uh oh,” Emmeline muttered as Lily entered the Great Hall, looking angry enough to hex someone into oblivion. She and Marlene braced themselves for the furious Lily.

Marlene timidly asked, "Lily? Is something wrong?" knowing that it was better to get her anger out early than to let her brood on it, after which she was more likely to destroy something.

“Is something wrong? Is something wrong? Walker wants me to tutor Potter! On top of that, every time I get called a mudblood he finds it necessary to protect me or some other rubbish like that! But no, nothing's wrong!” Lily let out a frustrated sound.

Emmeline and Marlene exchanged glances. This was not good. “Lily,” Emmeline started, “if you want one of us can tutor the idiot for you…”

“No, you can’t. It has to be me. Professor Walker said so. Potter even tried to switch it to Remus tutoring him, but Walker’ll have none of it. Plus, as your friend, I refuse to subject you two to that sort of torture,” Lily said.

Emmeline shrugged, thinking that she'd rather deal with an arrogant Potter than a furious Lily.

Throughout the remainder of lunch, Lily sat, fuming in silence. Neither Emmeline nor Marlene knew quite what to say, and from experience, knew it was better not to say anything, anyway. The bell rang and classes resumed, which went much better than Potions, to say the least.

----------

After dinner, Lily realized that, unfortunately, she had to schedule a tutoring session with James.

She walked over to him. “Potter,” she said, “can I talk to you for a moment?” Sirius, who was sitting nearby, suggestively wiggled his eyebrows. Lily glared at him with her 'Head Girl Glare of Doom.'

“Don’t know what he sees in her,” Sirius muttered under his breath, earning a glare from James, this time.

Lily and James walked to a secluded area of the common room, and as soon as they were out of earshot, Lily looked at James. “We have to schedule a tutoring session,” she said.

“Yes, we do,” he agreed.

“Well?” she asked.

“Er…well, what?”

“When are you free?” Lily said exasperatedly.

“Erm…Wednesday,” James said, after a moment of thinking about it.

“Wednesday it is, then. Meet me in the potions dungeon at seven in the evening, sharp. If you aren’t there, I’m not waiting for you.”

“Wouldn't miss it,” James said with a cocky grin. As Lily rolled her eyes and walked away, James mentally kicked himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why do I always have to ruin things?

“She hates me,” James muttered sadly as soon as he went back to the Marauders.

“What'd you do?” asked Remus.

James told what had happened, and Sirius laughed at him. “You're really good at ruining things, you know that?”

“Thanks, Sirius,” James muttered. “You always know just what to say.”

“It’s why you love me,” Sirius replied.

Remus coughed at this statement, and Sirius turned to look at Remus. “What?” Remus asked innocently, “I had to cough.”

----------

Later that night, Lily lay, thinking, as was her habit. This has got to have been one of the worst first days of classes I've ever had. Damn that Potter. Why does he always have to ruin things for me? He's Head Boy, I have to tutor him, he's an arrogant bastard... What could I possibly have done to deserve this?

At least he hasn't asked me out yet...maybe I should cut him some slack, for that... Maybe…

-----

James was also lying awake, thinking. How is it that whatever I do, I still manage to ruin things between Lily and me? Why? Why do I have to do such stupid things? Why does she hate me? Why, why, why? Why can’t I just act like myself around her, and not like an arrogant jerk? Why is it that she is the only one who makes me act like such an idiot? Why?

In his frustration, James pounded his fists on his bed. "I didn't do it," Sirius muttered in his sleep. James rolled his eyes. Sirius had it easy. He could go around snogging any girl, he wasn't tied down by fancying someone.

And then there was Remus, who also had it easy, as the girl he fancied, Marlene, fancied him back, and they were going out.

Even Peter had it easier than James! James didn’t even think that Peter liked girls yet. Which was fairly sad, James thought, seeing as how Peter was a seventeen year old guy just like the rest of them.

James rolled over onto his side. But since when did he choose things that were easy?

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Authors’ Notes: We hope you liked chapter two. Please review!