Chapter One-A Trip Down Memory Lane
Harry was walking down the hallway in number twelve, Grimmauld Place, looking for Remus Lupin, who was staying to help with the cleaning, to express his concerns about Sirius. He was worried about him, or more precisely, worried about his sanity, being stuck at Grimmauld Place and all. After checking the kitchen and several rooms downstairs, Harry gave himself a mental slap when he realized he hadn’t checked Remus’ room upstairs. Shaking his head slightly, wondering whether his residence at number twelve have caused him to lose a bit of his wits, he went upstairs and knocked on his door.
He heard a “Come in,” and then opened the door, to be greeted by a strange sight; Remus Lupin, sitting on his bed, clad in his blue and pink polka-dotted pajamas.
“Oh!” Remus exclaimed. “Sorry, Harry; I thought that it was Nymphadora-”
“Tonks?” Harry was confused.
“Er-I mean-never mind,” Remus finally muttered, blushing furiously. Composing himself, he asked, “So, what brings you here, Harry?”
“I came to talk to you about Sirius,” Harry explained, closing the door behind him. “But if you’re busy-”
“No, no, Harry, not at all,” Remus assured him. “I was merely looking thorough some old memories.” He gestured to the Pensieve that was sitting on Remus’ desk.
Curiosity aroused, Harry asked, “What memory were you watching?”
“Before you arrived? Oh-a memory back in my Hogwarts years,” Remus replied, dismissively, though there was a mischievous spark in his brown eyes. He appeared to hesitate, and then asked, “Have you ever wanted to know how your parents got together?”
Harry nodded, unsure of what this was leading to. Ever since he’d seen Snape’s memory, he had wondered frequently how his parents could have possibly have gotten together, since Lily had, apparently, detested James.
“Well, I could show you the memory, if you‘d like,” Remus offered.
Harry’s heart jumped to his throat, curiosity and excitement bubbling in his stomach.
“You mean it?” Harry asked eagerly.
Remus smiled, sensing Harry’s excitement. “Sure,” he said, as he fished out a bottle from his desk drawer, but before he or Harry could do or say anything else, there came a knock on the door.
“Remus, it’s us,” came Hermione’s voice, and Ron and Hermione came into the room.
“Ron-Hermione-what are you doing here?” asked Harry, puzzled.
“Looking for you, of course,” Hermione answered. “We knew that you were looking for Remus and would eventually search his room. And so here we are!”
“The reason we searched for you was to make sure you weren’t doing anything exciting without us,” Ron added. “We are supposed to be with you, remember?”
“Remus, why are you dressed in your pajamas?” asked Hermione, baffled.
Remus turned pink and muttered something about meeting someone.
“Remus was going to show me the memory of how my parents got together,” Harry explained.
“Wicked!” Ron exclaimed. “Can we see it too?”
“I don’t see why not,” Remus replied. “Now, close the door and come over here.”
Ron and Hermione obeyed, and made their way closer to Harry and Remus.
“This memory was in my seventh year at Hogwarts,” Remus explained, trying to pull the cork of the bottle. “James had become Head Boy and had greatly matured. Lily had noticed, but was still hesitant. You see, she had never hated James, as she had claimed, had in fact liked him as much as James liked her. But, unlike James, she didn’t show it, preferring to cover it up by being hostile towards him.”
Remus then tried to get the cork out with his teeth, but to no avail.
“Well, anyways, Sirius, Alice-the mother of Neville Longbottom and one of Lily’s best friends-Peter, Natalie, and I, had decided to take matters into our own hands.”
Harry and Ron nodded, but Hermione asked, “Wait, who’s Natalie?”
“Ah.” Remus grinned reminiscently. “She was James’ cousin, and Lily’s best friend. You would’ve liked her-then again, it was impossible to hate her. Very charismatic, very funny…in fact, she was the one who had provided the idea that made Lily and James finally get together.”
“She did?” Harry asked, shocked; he didn’t know that his father had a cousin, much less that she was the one that made his parents finally realize that they were meant to be together.
“Yes,” Remus replied. “We all came up with our share of plans that succeeded in bringing Lily and James closer, but Natalie’s idea was the turning point that finally made Lily and James start dating.”
“Well, what was the idea?” asked Ron, curious.
Remus smiled slyly. “You’ll see.” Then he frowned as he tried to pull the cork out of the bottle, and failing slightly. “If-I-could-just-get-this-cork-out-of-this-bottle-” he grunted.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione exchanged glances. Ron, gaining a rare insight of wisdom, suggested, “Um, Remus? You could use your wand, you know.”
Remus had the grace to blush. “Oh, right, sorry,” he said sheepishly, taking out his wand out of his pocket and tapped the cork; it shot into the air as it would a bottle of champagne. Having finally managed to achieve that incredible feat, Remus poured the memory into the Pensieve.
“Harry, you first,” he said to him, stepping aside.
Harry approached the basin and, without a moments’ hesitation, dunked his head in it. He felt the familiar feeling of falling through blackness, and found himself in the library. Remus, Ron, and Hermione had landed beside him.
“Whoa,” Ron muttered, looking around. “This is weird…”
“Ah, there I am.” Remus pointed to his younger self, who sitting at a table in front of them. He was looking quite pale and peaky. He was seated next to Sirius Black, who looked bored, Peter Pettigrew, who was nervously chewing on his fingernails, his wide eyes glancing shiftily from person to person, a petite, chubby girl with dirty brown hair and warm brown eyes that Harry deduced must be Alice Longbottom, and another girl who had waist-long, jet-black hair, and mischievous hazel eyes, who was looking at Sirius in revulsion.
“That’s Natalie,” Remus answered their unasked question, gesturing to the dark-haired girl.
“Honestly, Black,” Natalie said contemptuously, interrupting Remus, who had been talking. “If you aren’t going to be paying attention, you might as well try to look convincing. Or is that too much for your infinitesimal brain?”
Sirius jerked out of his reverie, and looked haughtily at Natalie. “The reason that I am not paying attention is that I am lookout. Or do you think it would be a big laugh that Lily or James would discover our motives?”
Natalie let out a snort. “Right, like that was what you were doing, Signor Montanto.” She seemed to emphasize the last two words.
Sirius glared at her, his ire finally raised. “Not everything about me is food and women,” he said coldly. “But then again, why would I want anyone to take me seriously?”
“Whatever do you mean?” Natalie said in mock surprise. “I think that everyone, especially girls, takes you ‘siriusly.’”
“As you can see, Natalie and Sirius were enemies, have been ever since first year,” explained Older Remus, his mouth twitching at the sight of Natalie and Sirius’ verbal spat.
“Sirius-Natalie-please stop arguing,” implored the younger Remus. “We need the two of you to come up with ideas to bring Lily and James together, and that won’t happen if you two bicker every few minutes.”
“Remus is right,” agreed Alice. “So please pull yourselves together and focus.”
Natalie and Sirius, after glaring at each other, sobered.
“All right, then, now that the lovers have stopped fighting,” Remus said dryly, and Natalie and Sirius shot daggers at him. “Let’s commence. Does anybody have any suggestions?”
Sirius’ eyes lit up. “Ooh, I got one!”
“Please, do tell,” Natalie said wryly.
Sirius ignored Natalie, and said excitedly, “The last match of the year is coming up pretty soon, and if Gryffindor wins the cup…” he trailed off slyly.
Natalie, Remus, and Alice simultaneously groaned. “Oh, no, Sirius, we’ve been through this before,” Remus said wearily. “Lily doesn’t care much about Quidditch-”
“But this is the last match of the season!” Sirius exclaimed. “She cannot not go!”
“Once again, the infamous Sirius Black has associated something completely distinct from Quidditch to Quidditch,” Natalie remarked dryly.
“And once again, the disdainful harpy Natalie Potter has made some derisive comment about me, Sirius Black,” Sirius retorted.
Natalie’s eyes flashed dangerously. Remus and Alice could only shake their heads helplessly.
“Oh, a disdainful harpy, am I?” Natalie’s voice rose with every word, and Madame Pince’s eyes narrowed disapprovingly at the group. “At least I don’t snog innumerable girls in a spare broom closet-” she stopped suddenly, and a thoughtful expression replaced her angry one.
As Sirius began to retort, she yelled, “I’ve got it!”
Madame Pince, her patience used up, walked over to them, and said, “Out! Get out!”
After many dirty looks to Natalie, the foursome gathered up their book bags and exited the library, and Older Remus, Harry, Ron, and Hermione followed them into an empty corridor.
“Great, thanks a lot, Natalie,” Sirius said sourly.
Natalie, for once, didn’t notice Sirius’ comment; her hazel eyes were bright with excitement, her face and voice animated.
“That doesn’t matter, since I’ve finally got an idea,” Natalie told them elatedly. Sirius, Remus, and Alice exchanged dubious glances.
“Well, go on, Natalie,” Alice encouraged.
Natalie glanced around so as to make sure that no one was around to eavesdrop, beckoned them to come closer, and in a voice barely more than a whisper, told them her plan.
“What is she talking about?” Hermione asked Remus. “We can’t hear…”
Remus smiled. “You’ll see,” he said enigmatically.
Before Harry, Ron, or Hermione could say anything further, Sirius let out one of his trademark, bark-like laughs.
“You are kidding!” Sirius exclaimed.
“I am in earnest,” Natalie said indignantly, frowning at Sirius.
“It will never work, I tell you,” Sirius said matter-of-factly. “They’ll kill each other-or rather, Lily will kill James. And I don’t know if you haven’t noticed, but I am actually quite fond of James, and see no reason why he must be gone from my company earlier than I would expect.”
“This is no laughing matter!” Natalie exclaimed crossly. “My plan is perfect, infallible. Right, Moony, Alice?”
But Remus and Alice looked skeptical.
“I don’t know, Natalie,” Remus said slowly. “I don’t think Lily would appreciate it one bit, and while James would be pleased, that would quickly wear off when he gets a slap in the cheek.”
“She won’t,” Natalie assured him, optimistic. “Sure, there will be a commotion, but in the end, it will all be resolved.”
“Ha!” Sirius gave a dubious snort. “I’ll bet anything that it won’t work!”
Natalie quirked up an eyebrow, looking suddenly impish. “Anything?” she queried.
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Well, not anything, but fifty galleons would do nicely.”
“All right then,” Natalie said in a business-like tone. “Do we have a deal?”
Sirius stared at her as though he feared she had lost her sanity. “You’re willing to bet fifty galleons?” he asked incredulously.
“Yep,” Natalie said happily. “Deal?” She held out her hand.
Sirius gaped at her for a moment before smiling slyly. “Deal,” he said confidently, taking her hand, while Remus and Alice watched disbelievingly.
“So what do you say, Moony?” Natalie turned to Remus. “It’s either my plan, or Black‘s plan.”
“If you’re sure,” Remus answered hesitantly, and Natalie’s face split into a wide smile. “And if Sirius and Alice accepts.”
Sirius shrugged. “I’m okay with it,” he said casually. “After all, if it doesn’t work out, I’ll be fifty galleons richer.”
“Despicable idiot,” muttered Natalie.
“Alice?” Remus turned to her.
“If it’s the only idea we’ve got,” Alice said grimly, “then we might as well go on with it.”
“Brilliant!” Natalie happily exclaimed. “We’ll go over the details in the common room…”
Suddenly, everything became a blur of color. When it stopped, the scene had changed; they were in another corridor, and Natalie, Sirius, Remus, and Alice were outside a door. Natalie looked perfectly nonchalant, Sirius looked pale and scared, and Alice and Remus were looking nervous and apprehensive. Harry and the others heard noises, yells, and shouts from within the room.
Everything suddenly became crystal clear to Harry. Turning to Remus, he exclaimed, “She locked them in a broom cupboard?!”
A/N: Like it? Not funny enough? Please review, I need to know!!!
Broom Cupboard Confessions by cto10121
Chapter Notes: A/N: My first humor fic! Very short, only going to be two chapters long! Anyways, read, review, and enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter *jumps off a cliff*