“YOU KNOW WHAT, POTTER, I AM SICK OF THE VERY SIGHT OF YOUR STUPID FACE!”
“OH YEAH? WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK IT’S LIKE FOR ME? I HAVE TO LOOK AT YOURS ALL THE TIME! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST STOP BEING SO BLOODY PERNICKETY ALL THE WHILE AND TAKE YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR OWN “”
“WILL YOU PLEASE JUST BOTH BE QUIET?” Izzie screeched. Lily and James turned to look at her, bemused that anyone would dare interrupt them while they were in full flow. “Look,” she went on, now that she had their attention. “People “ well, some people “ are trying to study. And you two are supposed to be setting an example. Think of the firsties, guys! Think of Little Billy Firstie here,” she said, grabbing a random First Year, and holding him in front of her for Lily and James to see.
“My name’s Joseph Hughes,” the boy said, nervously, but was ignored.
“Little Billy Firstie is going to spend the whole year listening to you two fight,” Izzie said. “And you’re meant to be his role models. If his role models are fighting all the time, what’s that going to do to him? Eh? Little Billy Firstie is going to think it’s okay to just fight with people all the time, because of you two.”
“No I won’t,” the boy said, affronted. “I’m not stupid.” The Marauders and Henrie, who were sitting in armchairs at the side of the scene, began to laugh.
Izzie carried on regardless. “Little Billy Firstie is going to think that’s what people do, and that will lead to him being constantly in detention. He’s going to get into fights, and eventually Little Billy Firstie will end up turning to crime and going to Azkaban.”
“No I won’t.”
“And it will be all your fault! Both of you! Little Billy Firstie will be sitting in his damp, rotting cell, wondering why he’s in prison when all he did was follow the example set by his superiors.”
“Seriously, I won’t, I can think for myself,” the boy tried again. But, being a First Year, he might as well as not have bothered saying anything. It wasn’t personal. It was just how things worked. Everyone had to go through First Year being treated like the underdog, it was a simple right of passage. That’s why they always stuck together in such tight groups. You had to be something pretty exceptional if you wanted to be acknowledged as a First Year.
“And anyway,” Izzie went on, “aren’t you meant to be patrolling corridors or something?”
Lily’s hand flew to her face, as her eyes widened in shock. James’s reaction was much less civilised, as he swore loudly, then eyed Little Billy Firstie (or rather, Joseph Hughes) warily. “You didn’t just hear that, did you?” he asked.
“Everyone heard it,” the boy said. James looked guilty.
“Don’t go repeating it, okay? I don’t want to blamed with you going to Azkaban ...”
“Oh, come on,” Lily sighed, marching over to the Portrait Hole. “Let’s just go, all right?”
James looked around, panicked at the thought of being alone with the one girl he could never get on with “ despite a brief infatuation with her for a year or two ago. “Help!” he squeaked.
“You’ve got duties, mate. You should be proud to fulfil them,” Sirius said, grinning.
“Come on, guys, give me an excuse!” he hissed, looking more and more afraid every second.
“James!” Lily barked from across the room. “Are you coming, or not?”
“You should go,” Henrie told him. “You wouldn’t want her to get mad at you ... again.”
This thought seemed to scare James even more. He gulped, and then stood tall, bracing himself. Like a man walking to his execution, he strode over to the Portrait Hole, and followed Lily out of sight.
“Poor guy,” Remus said, looking up from his Potions textbook, and shaking his head. “I think he might have some kind of seizure one of these days.”
“We should really do something to help him,” Henrie said, thoughtfully. She was slouching lengthways across the armchair that Sirius was sitting in. All was well, you could say, in Paradise.
“Like what?” Sirius asked. “What could we possibly do to get them to shut up and get along like human beings should? I mean, that was an impressive lecture, Izzie, we’re all grateful, but we all know it won’t last long. Come tomorrow and they’ll have forgotten all about Little Billy Firstie.”
“My name is Joseph Hughes!” came a shout from a few metres away, but this was generally ignored.
“You know what we could do that would work?” said Peter, grinning.
“We could sell James to passing slave traders. They wouldn’t be able to argue any more that way,” Remus said, chuckling to himself as he continued to read his large textbook avidly.
“They’d find a way,” replied Peter, darkly. “No, what we should do, is we should make them go out.”
There was silence for a moment.
Izzie, ever the vision of charm and eloquence broke the stunned hush. “Are you nuts, Peter?” she asked, looking sceptical.
“It’s a great idea,” Remus said.
“What? It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! How in Hell would we pull that off? And even if we did ... how long would it last? No more then a minute, surely? You can’t be serious?”
“If I was in the mood, I would make a hilarious pun right now,” Sirius said. “As it is, this arguing of theirs is really staring to grate on me, so there will be no mention of the comment, ‘Peter may not be “Serious”, but I always have been’.”
“No one ever found those funny anyway, sweetie,” Henrie said, grinning up at him as he pretended to look hurt.
“Yeah, fine, but do you really think making them into a couple is going to stop the arguments?” Izzie asked, rolling her eyes at how happy her twin sister was with Sirius. It wasn’t anything personal, of course, but Izzie was a little cynical when it came to love. Sure, she had no problem with steamy romances over the summer with hot Italian guys named Antone, but that was as far as it would go ... she could never be with a boy for over a week, and that meant her reputation was growing fast. In fact, her and Henrie were complete opposites, apart from the looks.
“I think with people like Lily and James,” Remus began, thoughtfully, “they’ll either be the greatest, fiercest, indomitable twosome you’ve ever met, or they’ll hate each other so much that they ... well, act like they do. There’s no in between, it’s just a matter of tipping the scales ...”
“How would we do that?” Henrie asked, sitting up properly on the arm of the chair and leaning forwards.
It was Sirius’s turn to speak, as a devious grin passed across his face. “With a little thing called trickery, lies and deceit ...”
“Uh, Sirius,” Peter said unsurely. “That’s three things.”
James was tired. Not tired “ exhausted. Shattered. Weary. Worn out. Knackered. Fatigued. Drained. It wasn’t particularly Lily’s fault, he thought. Some people just weren’t compatible. Of course, patrolling the corridors had gone as appallingly as he had expected. Utter silence for most of it, apart from the odd sniping comment or criticism. Their round of the school had been a quick one “ in fact, James had found it hard work to keep up with her fast pace “ and now he was dragging himself up the long staircase to the Seventh Year Boy’s Dormitory.
He heard voices inside, and was about to enter and ask what was so interesting that they were up at “ he checked his watch “ quarter to midnight talking about it, when he heard his own name mentioned, and stopped to listen.
“She definitely said James?” came Peter’s voice.
“What else would she have said?” asked Sirius.
“Um,” Peter replied, “Maybe ... Lames?”
Sirius snorted with laughter. “So, Lily said to Henrie, ‘I’m in love with Lames’. Of course, Wormtail. That must have been it. You dunce.”
“So having established that it’s most likely to be James she was speaking about, what do you think we should do?” asked Remus.
“Apparently she said that she would never admit it to him,” Sirius went on. “Because it would break her heart if he scorned her.”
“That poor girl,” Peter sighed. “What a lonely life.”
James had lost all feeling in his body. Everything had gone numb. Even his mind. The only words crossing it “ although they were doing this repeatedly “ were ‘Lily loves you. You. James. Lily loves you.’
On the other side of the door, Remus, Peter and Sirius were huddled in a circle on Sirius’s bed, with the Marauders Map in the middle of them, which showed that James was just outside the door, and not moving.
Sirius winked at his friends, and, voice just that bit too loud for it to be a normal conversation, said, “Well, he’s so inconsiderate towards her, that he’d just stomp all over her. He’s better off not knowing, I think.”
“WHAT?” James burst out, before clasping his hands to his mouth and swearing loudly in his head. There was a pause.
Inside the Dormitory, Sirius and Peter had both had to be non-verbally silenced by Remus so that James didn’t hear their howling laughter. He took it upon himself to save the situation. “Did you hear that?” he said loudly, whilst signalling desperately for Peter and Sirius to calm down. “I can’t just talk to myself!” he hissed at them, keeping his voice low, before raising it again to decide out loud, “It must have been a bird.”
Peter and Sirius, having composed themselves, signalled for the spell to be removed, and Remus flicked his wand at them again.
“You do get some strange creatures in these parts,” Sirius said. “It could have been some demented hybrid, bird-crossed-with-a-frog thing, and no one would be that surprised.”
“You’re right,” Peter said, winking jovially, his thoughtful voice not matching his grinning face. His voice raised a little higher. “Hey, James should be back soon,” he declared. “We wouldn’t want him to hear what we’re saying. Let’s try and go to sleep.”
“Good idea,” Remus said. “Classes tomorrow, after all.”
As he listened to his friends climb into bed, James closed his eyes a moment, and tried to calm down his heart, which seemed to be in his ears. Lily ... loves ... you?
It wasn’t possible. They fought all the time. The practically hated each other. He remembered a scene by the lake around a year and a half ago, as fifth year had drawn to a close. It had been the end of his infatuation. He hadn’t been able to stand her ever since then, they had never stopped bickering and irritating each other ... not a very mature attitude, of course, but one which they had both participated in. You idiot, James. She’s been in love with you all that time. What do you think it’s been doing to her? You ass. She’s probably been crying herself to sleep because of you! For a moment, James wondered exactly who the voice in his head was, but decided to write it off as his inner conscience, before he thought too hard about what it meant to have voices in your head yelling at you. You need to make it up to her, the voice seemed to say. And you know how to do that, don’t you? I mean, she’s in love with you, right? So ask her out. Go out with her for a while. She’ll either get sick of you and realise that you’re not the one for her, or ...
James nodded to himself. He took a deep breath, and walked through into the dorm.
“Hey guys,” he said. “Asleep already?”
As James got ready for bed, Sirius smiled to himself. It was a smile seen many times before. It was a smile signifying that everything had gone according to plan. It was a smile of triumph, victory and success. It was a smile symbolising a job well done. It was a smile that meant Mission Accomplished.
All was quiet in the Girl’s Dormitory at five o’clock the next morning. Louise and Ruby were asleep, Ruby snoring softly and peacefully. Izzie had her arms wrapped around herself, and sighed contentedly as she rolled over in her sleep. Henrie was in a tight ball, breathing slowly, and Lily had somehow managed to kick all of her covers down to the end of her bed, and was hugging her pillow to her.
However, the peaceful scene was soon disturbed when Izzie’s alarm clock shrilled into life.
“Bugger!” she exclaimed. This unladylike outburst was how she woke up most mornings.
Henrie yawned, and began to say “What time is “” but then stopped, looked over at Izzie, and they both grinned identically, before looking over at Lily.
On hearing the alarm, Lily had woken with a start, but hadn’t moved. Her eyes were open for a moment, but they then closed again. She shifted slightly, and tried to go back to sleep. It wasn’t time to wake up yet. Her movement was carefully observed by Henrie, who nodded to Izzie to confirm that their plan should go ahead. The night before, they had put magical sound barriers around Louise and Ruby’s beds, and made sure that the alarm would go off at such an ungodly hour, so that they “ and Lily “ would be woken early.
“Is Lily awake?” Henrie asked in a stage whisper. Lily stiffened “ why would Henrie want to know that? She lay still, hoping that she might find out.
“I don’t think so,” Izzie replied, winking unbeknownst to Lily.
“Good. I need to tell you something “ something Sirius told me. But you can’t tell her, all right, Isabella?”
“Yes, yes, of course I won’t. What is it?”
Henrie sat up straighter. “Well. We were talking about how they fight all the time, and I asked Sirius if he knew why that was.”
“Right ...” Izzie said, concentrating hard “ as was Lily.
“And he said, ‘Well, I do, but you can’t tell Lily.’ And, you know, everyone’s getting sick of the arguing, so I thought that if we knew why, we might be able to stop it.”
“Of course, that makes sense.”
“Well, according to Sirius “ well, do you remember in fifth year when James kept asking her out?”
“Are you joking? Those were the loudest months of my life ...” Izzie muttered, grinning. Lily smiled to herself at this, but then quickly went back to listening as hard as she could.
“Well, remember how after they had that huge argument, it all kind of stopped and he seemed to get over her?”
Lily smiled again. How happy she had been when she had realised that ...
“Apparently ...” Henrie faltered deliberately.
“What?” Izzie asked, enjoying herself immensely.
“Apparently he didn’t,” Henrie whispered.
“No ...” Izzie breathed.
“Yes,” Henrie replied.
“All this time ... all this time, and he’s been just as in love with her as ever? But we all thought he was faking it ... and why hide his feelings and pretend not to like her?” Izzie then asked, as rehearsed. They knew that this is what Lily would probably be thinking “ and, indeed, she was, and now shifted a little so that both ears were in prime position.
“Well, Sirius said that after that fight, James realised she’d never like him in that way, if he carried on the way he was. He just gave up hope, apparently, and didn’t ask her anymore, because ... this is the awful part ... because it hurt him too much when she said no.”
Izzie gasped. “Really? That’s so tragic! And kind of poetic. Who knew James Potter would be a tortured soul, full of unrequited love and sexy, mysterious angst...?”
Henrie gave her sister a weird look at this last comment, but Izzie just winked back.
Lily was appalled. Sexy, mysterious angst indeed ... as if James Potter could ever be anything close to tortured, poetic, tragic or mysterious. The very idea was ridiculous. A load of old nonsense. She didn’t know what those two twitty twins had been smoking of late, but it had done something to cloud their judgement. Unrequited love ... ridiculous ... not even possible ... the craziest thing she’d ever heard ... and devilishly attractive.
She groaned inwardly. What would happen if he asked her out again? Would she be able to break his heart again and refuse him, knowing the pain it would cause? Of course she wouldn’t. But if she couldn’t say no ... would she have to say yes?
“We’d better get to sleep,” Henrie said. “Try and grab an hour or two before classes start ... and remember, to the grave, okay?”
“Yes, okay. You just go back to your sweet dreams about snogging Sirius, and rest assured that the secret’s safe with me.”
“Okay. Goodnight, Isabella. Although that should probably be good morning.”
“In that case, good morning, Henrietta.”
As the twins drifted back off to sleep, thinking happy thoughts of their success, Lily stayed wide awake. In fact, she doubted that she would ever sleep easily at night again.
“Did you do it?” hissed Sirius into his girlfriend’s ear during Breakfast at a more acceptable hour.
Henrie nodded. “You?”
“Of course.”
“Excellent.”
Lily was watching the two whispering to each other with a mixture of feelings. Awkwardness, for one. Not only was Henrie a very good friend of hers, and protective feelings meant she didn’t relish watching her so close to Sirius, but also James was right next to her, unusually quiet and not eating much.
Their elbows bumped together, and they both jumped a mile in the air. “Sorry!” Lily gabbled.
“My fault,” James replied quickly, and they both looked away again. “Do you “” he began.
“What?” Lily asked, with baited breath. There was another pause.
“Nothing,” James replied, and looked away again. They both continued not eating.
Izzie watched all this with an amused expression on her face. She winked at Peter, then grinned conspiratorially with Remus. Trickery seemed to worryingly suit her, but as she looked over at Henrie and Sirius, her spirits suddenly dampened, and she sat back a little. It had been a month since Italy and her fling with Antone, and to be honest, she was pining for a little romance of her own. Or at least a good snogging session with someone to get it out of her system ...
Over at the Slytherin table, Sirius’s cousin Bellatrix was also watching the happy couple at Gryffindor, a sour expression on her face.
“It makes me sick,” she muttered.
“I know, doesn’t it?” replied Snape. “Wait, what does?”
“My rabid dog of an estranged family member and that vacuous bint he’s drooling with.”
“I heard that they’re going out,” Snape said, trying to be helpful. She looked at him with disgust, but left the sarcastic reply to her long term partner, Rodolphus.
“That’s because you have ears, Severus,” he said, sneering.
“People like him don’t deserve to be happy,” Bellatrix said. “Just look at them. It’s obscene.”
“Maybe, we should ... stop this display of animal filth. For the good of the school,” Rodolphus said, smiling slowly.
Bellatrix grinned maliciously. “Of course ... the good of the school ... absolutely.”
“But how would we do that?” asked Snape.
Bellatrix thought for a moment, and then noticed Henrie’s identical twin looking wistful and far away. “A little thing called trickery, lies and deceit.”
“That’s three things,” Snape pointed out, but unlike Peter the day before, his observation was not met with laughter but with a contemptuous stare that caused him to apologise quickly and eat his breakfast in silence.
AN: Oooh, getting interesting, huh? Leave me a review, tell me what you think! How’s the story working out for you ...?