A/N: I do not own anything you recognise
Chapter Two – The Darkness of Pain
***
I’m lying all awake, once again, in this cold hospital bed. The springs are adding pressure on my wounds. Just another pain for me to endure. I always feel sad, and even ashamed, once the full moon is over. I burden so many people with this condition of mine. My friends, Madam Pomfrey, the Headmaster… They all have to cover for me, to look over me. They help me a great deal with it, but I still feel like… I fear that, one day, it’ll be too much, or that they’ll get tired of it, and just leave or tell everyone.
My body aches, my skin burns, my muscles are sore, but I’m lying quiet and still. Madam Pomfrey always does a great job healing me when I return from the Shrieking Shack in the morning and I don’t want to ask more of her. Anyway, I feel like I deserve this pain. Being a werewolf is part of me, I have to assume what comes with it. I can’t dump it all on everybody else’s shoulders. This pain is part of me. It’s part of who I am. I just have to live with it.
***
Madam Pomfrey was observing her regular patient from the corner of her eyes. She had come to know him pretty well over the years and she could tell that he was still suffering. The little creases on his forehead were a sure sign of his discomfort. But she also knew all too well that if she went to his bed to offer him some pain relieving potion, he would turn her down and assure her that he was feeling well and resting peacefully.
She was the one who took him on every time he came back to school after the full moon since his first year. His wounds were getting worse with every passing full moon. Remus had grown a lot since he started at Hogwarts and his werewolf-self must had gotten stronger. His injuries were more serious, his cuts deeper and his bruises larger. Even so, he always seemed to take it on with a maturity rarely seen at his age and with the support of his friends.
That was until the start of this year. Madam Pomfrey didn’t know if something had happened to him over the summer but since then, he seemed to need more time to recover after his transformations. It is always said that the mind can influence recovery greatly and it looked as though he was less and less eager to get back on his feet after the full moon. The school nurse observed this fact over the months. She noticed that he was much quieter, even when his overly-exited friends came to visit him. But nonetheless, he was always doing better after the visits of Pettigrew, Black and Potter. Those noisy boys could cheer up almost everybody.
Madam Pomfrey was still observing him when Remus turned his head towards her. She knew that she had been caught in the act, so she stood up and walked up to his bed. Putting her hand on his forehead, she asked him how he was doing.
“Not bad,” he answered.
“Is there anything I could do for you? Are you comfortable? Do you want a sleep-potion?”
“No thanks, I’m just fine.”
“Well, it’s almost time for breakfast so I suppose your friends will be here any minute now to visit you. That gash on your neck is still pretty red. Let me go fetch a potion to relieve the inflammation,” she added. She just couldn’t bear to let a student suffer in her hospital wing.
A minute later, she was applying a thick rosy potion on Remus’ neck when the door of the room opened. Three boys entered, their voices booming in the almost empty room. Remus wiggled on his bed, trying to sit straighter but Madam Pomfrey put a hand on his chest, pushing him back onto his bed. The lively trio did as it always did. Six arms took hold of a nearing bed and pushed it close the Remus’ before their owners jumped on it to sit and try to distract their friend from his misery.
“Whoa, Moony! You look worse than James’ hair!” exclaimed Sirius. Madam Pomfrey smiled to herself. It was always the same with those boys.
“Hey!” replied the offended, while Peter sniggered in his hands. James then proceeded to punch Sirius on the shoulder before changing the subject.
“How are you doing this morning, Remus?” he asked, as Sirius was rubbing his shoulder.
“Not bad. I expect I should be back on my feet this afternoon.”
“Well, we’ll see about that,” corrected Madam Pomfrey, closing her potion container. “I’ll evaluate you once more at noon and you’ll know then.” She then left the boys alone and went back to her desk.
“Hey Moony,” squealed Peter, “guess what James told to Lily this morning.”
And they were off. James, Peter and Sirius carried most of the conversation since Remus was still somewhat weak from his night-time activities. He didn’t admit it, of course, but the boys knew their friend well enough that it didn’t need to be said. It was like a routine now; they would visit Remus before class started in the morning, then leave him sleep through the morning, and finally come back to pick him up after lunch.
After the boys left to go to class, Remus let his head fall back on his pillow and sighed. The visit from his friends was a good distraction, but it still brought back the thought of how much his condition affected the people surrounding him. They had became Animagi for him, they were spending valuable sleeping hours keeping him in control, they were taking time to visit him, they were finding excuses to explain his absences to the other students… It was a lot to ask of teenagers.
Remus winced as he tried to turn on his side. He was uncomfortable on his back but it was just too painful to turn on his side. He sighed again and closed his eyes. He should try to sleep a little. Time would go faster that way.
Madam Pomfrey risked another glance towards her patient. His eyes were closed but his forehead was still wrinkled. She thought that she should maybe try to talk to the Headmaster. If those boys were unable to cheer him up, who would? Something was clearly wrong with Remus.