Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or anything in their magical world. These characters and their world belong to the talented J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.
And a special thanks fo Sarah for helping me with the title and summary.
Glaring at the fragile woman in the bed, Harry felt his temper flare. Why was he taking care of her? Why was the Order taking care of her? They had no reason to protect her. She was the enemy that had been clear since the very beginning. And yet, here she was resting comfortably in Order Headquarters.
Of course, rather or not she was comfortable was debatable. She had not awakened since Tonks had brought her there three days earlier, but she frequently cowered and cried out in her sleep. It was not surprising that she was plagued by nightmares”they all were.
Staring at her, he remembered the first time he ever laid eyes on Narcissa Malfoy. Had it not been for the disgusted expression on her face, she would have looked exactly like a porcelain doll. Despite the fact that he had been preconditioned to hate Draco Malfoy’s mother, he had never been able to deny her beauty. In fact, the entire, perfectly blonde Malfoy family looked as though they had walked out of Muggle fashion magazine.
However, those days were over. No amount of charm and attractiveness could help Draco or Lucius now. They were both dead. They died fighting the battle that continued to wage on. Narcissa’s beauty and grace had begun to fade. Her once perfect, shiny hair was now matted and streaked with white. Her pale and smooth skin was showing wrinkles and scars from the battle.
As he studied the jagged cut across Narcissa’s cheek, his hand reached for the lightening bolt on his forehead. By the end of the war so many people would have life long scars”both visible and invisible.
Plopping into the cozy chair beside the bed, Harry forced thoughts about scars and the war from his mind. He didn’t wish to think about any of that. He didn’t want to think about the fact that he was hiding in Grimmauld Place while his friends fought. They refused to include him in the battle, claiming that it was too risky”if they lost him, they would lose the war.
That was how he had been assigned the duty of baby-sitting Narcissa Malfoy. The others were fighting, risking their lives, and he was watching a woman sleep. He knew it was wrong. He should be out there with the rest of them. When he thought of what Sirius would think”what his parents would think, he felt sickened.
Shaking his head, he tried, once again, to force those thoughts from his mind. He didn’t want to think about any of it. He was already stuck with a Malfoy. No more grief was required.
As he watched her chest rise and fall gently, he remembered the story Tonks had told them when she arrived at headquarters carrying this woman. It had been an unexpected battle, for Tonks, at least. She had planned to meet with Remus, who was still consorting with werewolves. However, Remus never showed. Instead, she was faced with a terrified Draco Malfoy, running from something.
Tonks turned to see a masked Death Eater chasing after the young boy. Apparently, he had done something to disappoint his precious lord. Green sparks soared from the Death Eater’s wand, and Tonks found herself terrified for the young man. Even if he was a Death Eater, he was little more than a child.
Standing between her cousin and the wand-waving wack job, Tonks attempted to hit him with a stunner. However, she hadn’t realized that she and Draco were not alone with the Death Eater. A shot of red jutted towards her. She was able to avoid it. When she turned to face her attacker, she saw a masked man crumbled beneath Narcissa Malfoy’s wand.
Before Tonks even had a chance to respond, Narcissa was hit with a streak of red light and fell to the ground. Forgetting Draco, she ran to the woman. As she kneeled beside Narcissa, Draco was hit with a green lightening bolt.
Glancing over, Tonks knew the boy was not getting up. He had been hit with the Killing Curse. The Death Eater laughed madly, and Disapparated without giving her or her aunt another look.
Suddenly, Harry realized that Narcissa didn’t even know her son was dead. That news could kill her. She obviously loved him very much. What if he was the one to tell her? How could he do it?
As if the gods had heard his silent fears, Narcissa began to stir in her bed. Moaning ever so softly, she rolled over. Harry heaved a sigh of relief when she did not open her eyes. She couldn’t wake up now. She had to stay asleep until Tonks came back. Tonks could tell her about her son. After all, they were family, even if they meant for the first time a few days ago.
However, Narcissa did not seem interested in playing by Harry’s rules. Moaning again, she opened her eyes and jumped into the air upon seeing him.
“What are you doing here?” she cried, pulling the blankets up to her shoulders. “Where am I?”
“Oddly enough, you are in the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix,” he told her. “I happen to be living here.”
“Andromeda’s daughter,” Narcissa said, touching her forehead. “She brought me here. She was there. Draco. What happened to Draco? Is he here?”
Looking away, Harry didn’t answer. He couldn’t answer. Therefore, he wouldn’t answer her. He would simply pretend that she hadn’t asked. That’s what he would do. She was weak and tired, incapable of pursuing this.
“I’ll get you a glass of water,” he told her. “You haven’t had anything to eat or drink for days.”
“I don’t want water,” she snarled. “I want to know where my son is. Did something happen to him?”
So much for that plan.
“I’m very sorry, Mrs. Malfoy,” he whispered. “Draco is dead. The Death Eater was too fast. Tonks couldn’t stop him. I’m sorry.”
“No,” she cried, tears coming to her eyes. “Not Draco. He’s my son”my only son. I have already lost his father. I cannot bear to lose anymore.”
Unsure of what else to do, Harry moved over to the bed and wrapped the sobbing woman in his arms. He couldn’t leave her like that, even if she was Narcissa Malfoy. She felt tiny and fragile in his arms, almost as though she would snap if he held her too tightly. It was obvious she hadn’t eaten well for a long time.
To his surprise, she did not pull away from him. Instead, she buried her head in his chest and sobbed loudly. Her grief was so strong; he could feel it flowing into his veins. He would have done anything to help her, but there was nothing for him to do. Nothing could take away her pain. He knew that.
He didn’t know how long they stayed like that. It really didn’t matter. Neither of them had anything in the world other then time. He found that he liked holding her. He liked the way her body felt next to his. He liked the smell of her hair. Most of all, he liked knowing that, in some small way, he was helping her. It had been a long time since he felt like he was truly helping.
Finally, she pulled away from him and dried her eyes. She did not look at him. It was almost as though she was ashamed.
“I’m sorry,” she told him briskly. “This isn’t your problem. You and my son were not friends. This has nothing to do with you and you are not obligated to comfort me. You and your friends are also not obligated to care for me. I appreciate the bed, but I will get out of your way. I couldn’t possibly be welcome here.”
“You are welcome here,” he replied, running his hand over her arm. “You saved Tonks’ life. That Death Eater could have killed her, if you hadn’t been there. I think you should stay with us. After all, where else do you have to go? Voldemort will not protect you.”
She shuddered at the name, but responded quickly, “I saved precious Tonks because she was helping my son. It had nothing to do with me being a decent person or a concerned aunt. Your kind doesn’t want me here. But I assure you, I do not have, and nor do I want the Dark Lord’s protection. He is the reason my family is dead.”
“If you have no allegiance to him, then there is no reason you can’t stay,” he persisted. “No one in the Order wants to hurt you.”
“What about you, Mr. Potter?” she asked. “I am the last of a family that you despised.”
“I didn’t despise your family,” he told her softly. “I was there the night Dumbledore died. I saw Draco. I knew what he was going through. He was not a killer. I think he could have grown into a good man.”
She laughed bitterly, “Had he been less of a good man, he would still be alive. He was killed because he could not kill. My son was not a murderer and he died for it. Where is the justice in that?”
“There is no justice in it,” Harry replied, taking her hand. “There is no justice in anything that he does. He is evil, but you can fight against him. You can fight with us. You can avenge your son and your husband. We will fight beside you. We will keep you safe.”
“You sound so much like your precious mentor,” she scowled. “Very few people believe in second chances, Mr. Potter. The simple truth is that there isn’t a single member of the Order who would care if I died, nor is there a single Death Eater who would care if I died. My family is already gone. I have nothing left to fight for.”
“I would care if you died,” he told her.
Finally, she turned to look at him. Her wide eyes were filled with tears, but she ignored them. She simply studied him”trying to decide if he was telling the truth.
“Why?” she finally asked.
“I know why you are what you are,” he began. “I never realized it before, but I thought about it while you crying into my chest. I only knew Sirius for a short time, but I know how he was raised. You were raised the same way. Sirius and Andromeda were the oddballs. You didn’t want that for yourself. You were young, and I doubt you thought about what this would become; even if you did, there was no way for you to know it would get so big. You did what was expected of you, and you became trapped. I don’t think you wanted this. Am I right?”
“Of course, I didn’t want this,” she spat. “I didn’t want my entire family following a man bent on destruction”a man who didn’t care if they lived or died.”
“You have suffered enough,” he told her. “Don’t disappear to mourn alone. Stay with us. If you don’t want to fight, you don’t have to fight. But you shouldn’t have to face this alone. The Order will take care of you. I will take care of you.”
Staring into his eyes, she said nothing.
“Will you stay?” he asked.
“Yes,” she nodded slightly, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Smiling, he pulled her into his arms again, and kissed her softly on the forehead. He never expected to care what happened to Narcissa Malfoy, but he cared a lot. Irrationally, he felt that he had to keep her safe, at all costs. She had suffered enough.
Suddenly, she raised her head, her lips meeting his. Throwing her arms around his neck, she pulled him into a passionate embrace.
Immediately, Harry thought of all the reasons this was wrong, but those thoughts quickly fled his mind. He found himself melting into her. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t pull away. This couldn’t be wrong. Nothing that felt so good could be wrong.