A/N: This story was written for Keladry_Lupin for the Summer 2007 SS/HG Exchange.
Thanks go out to my alpha and beta readers while I was working on this project. JuneW, DeeMichelle, Subversa, Cocoachristy, Minuet99 & Ferporcel. They are a wonderful group of friends and I appreciate the correcting, advice and hand-holding from each of them.
Chapter 7: I Won't Say (I'm In Love)
Slowly she opened her eyes. Dizziness mixed with nausea were the first sensations to register through to her fog-filled brain. Hermione hated hangovers; it was the main reason that she rarely drank. It seemed that if she had more than two glasses of wine then she was ill the next morning, and unfortunately, the Wizarding world had yet to create an adequate hangover relief potion. Wracking her brain, she tried to remember exactly how much she had drank, and she could only recall the one glass of wine. That was when she remembered the energising potion that Ron and Tonks had given her, and its aftereffect: exhaustion.
She tried to focus on her surroundings and realised that she was not in her warm, comfortable bed. Instead, she was sprawled on the sofa. Groaning, she sat herself up as the room continued to spin.
“It's about time you woke up,” came a voice from behind her.
Turning her head slowly, Hermione tried to focus on her roommate, willing the woman to stop dancing around in front of her. “Good morning,” she managed to mumble back.
Heidi snorted. “Try ‘good afternoon’. If you'd been asleep much longer, ‘good evening’ would've been more appropriate. What the hell happened to you last night?”
“I went to the masquerade ball.”
“That much is obvious.”
Hermione looked down at herself and noticed that she was still wearing her dress robes from the night before; only they were wrinkled and… covered in soot. The mask which she'd worn the night before was broken and on the floor, next to the sooty footprints which she'd left.
“That's the last time I ever take a potion offered to me by Ron Weasley.”
Heidi laughed. “Don't worry. I'll help you clean up the mess. Though why you'd trust his brewing, I'll never know.”
“I didn't trust his brewing; it was something he got from work.”
“Then you should know better. Those Aurors take some nasty potions for some extreme work. What did he give you anyway?”
“Something to wake me up so I could go to that bloody ball.” Remembering how she'd fulfilled her prophetic dream and run out on Severus, she added, “It would've been better if I'd stayed home and found another way.”
Heidi gave her a funny look, but chose to say nothing to Hermione's comment. Instead, she went over to the table and handed Hermione a scrap of parchment. “A house-elf came by and delivered that this morning from Healer Sedgwick.”
Hermione read it over three times to understand the simple message. Healer Sedgwick wanted Hermione to work tomorrow instead of Monday. Crumpling the note, she threw it in the hearth and laid her head back against the sofa.
“Come on, Hermione,” Heidi said. “Let's clean you up, put a bit of food and tea in you, and then tuck you into bed.”
Lacking the energy or the will to argue, Hermione allowed herself to be led about and cared for by her roommate. She soon found herself in her comfortable bed and settled down for a peaceful night's sleep.
~~~
Severus swept through the darkened halls of the school, grateful that most of the students were still on holiday. He mentally swore that he would take one hundred House points off of any student that he encountered this morning, and he was hoping that it wasn't going to be a member from his own House. But, of course, there were no Slytherins in the castle, so he knew he wouldn't have to do such a thing. After two nights of no sleep, he was in a foul mood, and the only infraction that a student would have to do to get on his bad side was to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Almost absently, he made his way to the Headmistress' office. He needed to speak with her; he just had no desire to do so at this point. Yesterday, Severus had walled himself away in his quarters avoiding everyone and everything, including his post. Bloody owls didn't know the difference between a holiday, a weekday or a workday. Stupid birds. It almost… almost made Severus long to live in the Muggle world.
This morning when he'd opened the door to his quarters, not only had there been a barrage of owls attempting to enter and deliver the post that they'd not been able to deliver the day before, but there had also been a note from Minerva taped to his door requesting a meeting with him first thing this morning. He would've ignored the note. However, he'd had to touch it to open it, and less than thirty seconds after he'd opened it, the scrap of foolscap had burst into flames leaving nothing but ash. Severus knew that this meant that a small mark had burned next to his name on a list on Minerva's desk, and she now knew that he had read it.
Whoever it was that had created the Delivery Confirmation Charm should be strung up by their thumbs and hexed to the next plane of existence.
Grumbling, he made his way up the stairs and entered Minerva's office.
“Oh, good morning, Severus,” she said as he walked in and sat down without invitation.
He merely glared at her in reply.
“I am sorry. I know how you want your privacy. But, you know, you were supposed to come and meet with me yesterday, or did you forget?”
“I didn't forget. Yesterday was a holiday, surely everyone is allowed a holiday now and then. I simply wanted to be alone. Has it been so long since you've had that luxury that you've forgotten what it's like?”
“No, no, Severus, of course not,” she said, brushing his words away. “I just need to turn in my report to the Board of Governors and it wouldn't do for it to be late.”
Severus snorted. “It's not due until Tuesday and you know it. You just want to see if there is some other way that you can meddle in my affairs.”
“I've done no such thing!”
Cocking an eyebrow, he asked derisively, “Haven't you? I seem to recall you claiming that Professor Durham had contracted the House-Elf Flu a few days ago as the reason that he could not escort your niece to the Ministry ball. Funny, I saw him just this morning as I was walking up here and he appeared to be perfectly fine.”
The Headmistress looked sheepish as she fiddled with the papers on her desk. “Well, yes.” She sighed. “I am sorry about that, Severus.”
“I have no doubt that you had some undue influence,” he said glaring up at the portrait hanging over Minerva's desk. The figure in the portrait had the audacity to wink at him. “Though, I am not sure why you wanted me there.”
There, let her explain the reasoning behind her actions.
“I recognised the way that you described your dreams to me, Severus. Although, I have to admit that when the charm was cast on me, it did play out its natural course. Of course, someone as headstrong as you would require alterations to it.”
“It wasn't cast on me, Minerva. It was cast on the woman.”
“Well, of course it was. The Cinderella Charm is always cast on the witch. But any woman who would choose you as their heart's desire would have to be just as stubborn as you.”
He scoffed at the term ‘heart's desire’. It was wholly unlikely that he would be anyone's heart's desire. The weakening and alterations to the charm had likely caused the woman to unconsciously choose him. However, that didn't stop him from wanting to find her. He'd spent Friday night and all of yesterday brewing a potion to try to locate her through the locket. The potion had failed. Apparently she'd not owned the locket very long to have created much of a signature on it.
All he had to go on was the engraved healing symbol on one side and the monogram on the other which indicated that her first name began with an ‘H' and the last a ‘J'. No names were coming forth as ones that were familiar. The woman had been too young and too thin to be Hestia Jones.
If he truly wanted to find her, he'd have to go to a general location and cast a tracing spell. But the most effective spell was Dark in nature and he would have to be careful where and how often he cast it. Certainly, doing so while in his office at the Ministry of Magic would not be a wise move. Perhaps if he went to St Mungo's….
“Severus?” Minerva asked, interrupting his thoughts.
“What?” he snapped.
“I was telling you how the charm affected me.”
“What are you talking about?” Severus demanded.
“The woman is consuming your thoughts, though it's not spell-compelled in your case, it is part of the nature of the charm. From what I understand, you dreamt of her often. It’s unsurprising that she would now consume your thoughts.”
He sat silent, neither confirming nor denying her statement. It was true, though he would never admit that aloud to anyone.
“It's not a sign of weakness, Severus. Dreaming about someone for weeks will do that to you. You should've seen poor Albus when his cousin cast the same spell on me,” she said as her features softened to a small smile. “You see, she was quite certain that he would be the object of my affections, even though he was denying any attraction to me quite fervently. He insisted that our age difference was much too great to overcome. But the spell showed him otherwise and after the dreams ended, he couldn't rest until he'd found me and returned my lost shoe.
“I heard that the spell ended before she could run away and lose her shoe. I was hoping that by going to the Ministry ball that you'd get the chance to actually find her.” Minerva said the last words in a hopeful tone and Severus knew that she was expecting an answer to whether or not her ploy had worked.
When silence had well and truly settled heavily on the room and its occupants, Severus finally answered her. “She was there.”
Minerva beamed. “That's wonderful. So, you saw her? Who is she?”
“I don't know,” he bit out.
“What do you mean you don't know? You just said that she was there? Didn't you go speak with her?”
“Of course, I spoke with her! We danced, we talked… and just when I started to ask who she was she ran out on me. Again!”
She narrowed her eyes. “Were you being difficult?”
“No, of course not.”
“Well, you do have a tendency to be that way. Then why, pray tell, would she leave?”
“I do not know. We were there. We were talking and then she uttered some nonsense about a potion and being out of time. Next thing I know, she's running out the door.”
“Hmm,” Minerva said thoughtfully, “I wonder if there was some aftereffect to the spell. Did she happen to leave her shoe?”
“No, she bloody well did not leave a shoe, Minerva! This is ridiculous!” He was on his feet and hovering over the Headmistress' desk. And then… he stopped.
“What?” she prodded.
“She left… I grabbed…” He pulled the locket out of his pocket and dangled it in front of Minerva.
Her fingers came up to take it and gently inspect the piece of jewellery. “Did you try an identity potion?”
“Of course I did. Either she never wears it or it's fairly new. It couldn't give me anything more than a bunch of wavy lines.”
“Did she say anything about what she does? Does she work at the Ministry? Or”” She turned the locket over. “St Mungo's, perhaps?”
Severus pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, and sighed in exasperation. “She spoke of patients and she mentioned St Mungo's. I was considering going there and casting the Vestigium Spell.”
At Minerva's confused look, he explained, “It's a tracing spell. It's thought of as Dark because it invades privacy… but I am considering it. The only catch is that I have to be in the same general location as her.”
“So, St Mungo's would be a good place to start.”
“So it would seem.”
His old friend looked him in the eye and asked, “Are you going to go try to find her?”
“The spell is Dark. If the Ministry found out I would be on my way back to Azkaban.”
She placed the locket carefully back in his hand and held it there for a moment. “I have the utmost faith that no one will see you cast the spell.”
Severus looked down at their hands and then back to her. Squeezing his hand around the trinket, he gave Minerva a sharp nod, then turned and swept out of her office.
~~~
His hands still gripped firmly around the locket, Severus spied the Welcome Witch at the reception area of St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. The witch sitting behind the small desk had short, curly blonde hair and wore too much makeup. She pushed up her glasses and chomped on her gum as Severus neared the desk.
Barely even glancing at him, the witch pointed her wand at the floor guide.
Severus glared at her, but deciding that it was best to state his intentions”whether true or not. “I am here to visit with Mr Ollivander,” he said, grabbing the first name he could think of. Mr Ollivander had barely survived his incarceration with the Death Eaters during the Second War. The Dark Lord had wanted him for information on locating Rowena Ravenclaw's wand which had been carefully hidden in Ollivander's shop. ¬
“First floor, Dai Llewellyn Ward, but he won't understand a bit of what you're saying. I don't know why you people bother.”
Without saying anything, Severus brushed past the desk to the stairwell. He waited until the door shut behind him before he uttered the spell that would lead him to the witch… if she was there. The locket began to faintly glow warm, indicating that she was, indeed, somewhere nearby, and at that same moment he felt a jolt within his chest.
Severus followed the glow as it got warmer and brighter until he was soon up to the fifth floor tea room. Knowing that there would likely be others about, he placed his hand with the locket firmly in his grasp, in his robe. He would have only the warmth to guide him, although he hoped that he wouldn't need it once he saw her.
Concentrating on her initials, he set his mind on finding her. If nothing else, he would be able to put his mind at rest. Perhaps he'd be giving her completion as well… perhaps. He didn't have a shoe, but at least with the locket if he came across the wrong woman, he wouldn't have to worry about anyone else cutting off their heel or toes.
He quietly opened the door to the tea room and, stepping back into the shadows, surveyed the room. There were only half a dozen people in there. Four of them were women, two of which he could discard immediately because of their skin colouring and ample size, unless the woman he had danced with had used a disguise of some sort.
One of the other two women was sitting at a table with her back to him. Her hair was wound in a messy bun at the back of her head. Severus watched as she pulled a quill out of her bun and the hair suddenly hung loose, cascading down her back in a mass of curly, brown hair. For reasons unknown to him, Severus wanted to run his fingers through the fine tendrils, but quickly squashed down the very thought. It was unlikely that was the woman that he was looking for. Possible, but unlikely.
He'd only ever seen her with her hair neatly done up, but from what little he knew about hair care, even Severus knew that it would've taken hours of effort to contain that mass of hair into the neat hairstyle on the woman he'd been sharing dreams with.
There was another woman was sitting next to her. He also couldn't see her face, but her hair was neatly pulled back into a tight bun. That could possibly be her.
Both women wore the lime green robes that designated a Healer. (Really, who else would wear that colour?) He stepped a bit closer and cast a discreet spell to amplify the two women's conversation.
“I don't know why you let her do that to you. You're not a slave. Really, she treats you as if she has some sort of personal vendetta against you.”
Severus shook his head slightly, almost disheartened. That wasn't her, the voice was wrong.
“It may feel like a vendetta, Heidi, but I don't believe that it truly is. Perhaps she just wants to ensure that my fame doesn't get me any free rides. I have a friend who was treated like that all through school.”
Now, that was her. The witch's voice was almost like food to his starving soul. Perhaps he had been able to sense her and that was the reason for the urge to run his fingers through her hair.
“Scrubbing out cauldrons is the punishment for sticking your gum under your desk in Potions class when you're a first year at Hogwarts. It is not, however, a standard requirement for a Healer-in-Training who is in her seventh year of training.”
“Professor Snape.” Severus snapped his head to the short, stout woman who was standing before him. “Can I help you with something?” she asked next.
~~~
Evrona Sedgwick had seen him come into the tea room. Though he seemed to be an expert at slinking in the shadows, she'd happened to be looking up from her book when he'd walked in and her eyes discreetly followed him. He seemed to be rather interested in her apprentice and when he pulled a familiar looking necklace out of his pocket, she knew that he was watching her.
The entire thing made her rather ill. She'd been trying to get Miss Granger to quit the Healing Program since first taking over her apprenticeship at the beginning of September. Evrona made certain that she worked the woman to the bone, giving her tasks that she wouldn't give a house-elf. She hated her. With every ounce of emotion that she had, she hated her, and Evrona wanted nothing more than to be rid of the young woman.
Up to this point, nothing that Evrona had done had been enough to get her to quit the Healer Program. Perhaps if she attacked on a more personal point…
Without even thinking it all through, Evrona arose from her chair and walked over to the tall, thin man who was dressed all in black. She gave her best simpering smile when she greeted him and asked him if she could help him in anyway.
“No,” he said simply. “I need to go speak with that woman over there.”
Thinking quickly, Evrona asked, “Is that my locket you found?”
“Excuse me?” He looked her up and down. “No, I don't believe that this belongs to you.”
“Oh, yes, I'm certain that it is mine. I lost it Friday evening,” she said, remembering the story she'd overheard Granger tell one of the other apprentices.
Snape looked confused for a moment. “I think that I'll just go speak with her first.”
She stepped in front of him again and narrowed her eyes. “Professor Snape, I believe that I will have to call a Security Wizard if you do not return my locket to me. And with your… history… I don't quite know how they will respond. I wonder how Azkaban is this time of year.” The last words were spoken with an airy thoughtfulness about them. It was a well-known fact that the prison was freezing this time of year. All of the Warming Charms in the world couldn't stop the chilling air from seeping through to the cells and their occupants.
“I see. Is there some reason that you don't wish for me to speak with that young woman over there?”
Evrona lowered her voice and took a step closer to the wizard. “My husband died at the Death Eaters Last Stand, Professor. And that woman is of no use to people like you and me.”
“Ah, one of those people then, is she?” he sneered and glared over in the direction of the young woman.
“Yes, Professor, I'm surprised that you don't recognise my apprentice. She's one of the Famous Four.”
Snape snapped his head back to Evrona. “She is?” he asked, unable to cover the surprise in his voice. His voice smoothed as he continued, “I trust that you have been able to ensure that she gets the treatment that one such as her deserves. Nonetheless, I believe that I shall go pay her a visit.”
Evrona had no choice but to move out of Professor Snape's way. However, she was now fairly certain that he would treat Granger exactly as she deserved, and with any luck he would slip her apprentice a deadly but untraceable poison.
~~~
Hermione had spent her day doing exactly as she'd told Heidi, scrubbing out cauldrons. But not just cauldrons, she'd then gone to clean and organise the ingredients storeroom, followed by dating and cataloguing all of the brewed potions on the shelves. Perfectly dull and boring work suitable for a lab aide or a first-year intern.
Her break was almost up and it was time to head back towards the Potions Lab so she could finish her work and go home. Maybe, if she was lucky, she'd be able to do something more meaningful during her next shift. Thus far, this year, she'd done little more than clean and do things more suited to aides and helpers than Healers.
Heidi smiled and went to go finish her shift on the Dai Llewellyn Ward for Serious Bites while Hermione stood, picked up their paper cups and moved to toss them in the bin.
“Miss Granger. One would think that a witch would remember that wands can be used to do such things.”
“It is just four steps…” she began to defend herself and then she met his dark eyes. “Severus,” she all but whispered.
He flicked his wand and the rubbish in her hands flew to the bin. Snape glanced quickly behind his back and then back to Hermione. “Perhaps there is someplace more… private… where we can continue have this conversation.”
“Oh, um… yes. Follow me.”
Hermione's heart thudded in her chest and she was certain that he could hear it as he followed her down the stairs. Every few seconds she reminded herself to breathe, and her body was rather thankful for the reminder… and the oxygen which it supplied. Having led him to an office which she shared with three other apprentices, she opened the door and glanced inside, thankful that no one else was there.
Once she heard the door shut, Hermione took a deep breath and turned around to face the man of her dreams, so to speak.
Before she could say anything, he took three steps towards her and held out his hand to her. “I believe that this belongs to you, Miss Granger.”
His voice sounded so cold.
She looked at the trinket which he dropped into her waiting hand. “I hadn't even realised that I'd lost this. Thank you. But how did you… I mean… how did you know it was me? I suppose that you could've figured it out. I just thought that if you did then you'd never want to see me because of…. Well, because of who I am,” she rambled.
“I didn't know. If I had, you're right, I likely never would have come.”
Hermione hadn't known how much this conversation would hurt. She'd anticipated him not being pleased when he'd learned who she was, but she'd never expected him to be so close-minded to not be willing to get to know her more. She could only simply nod in understanding to his words.
After several minutes of silence while they continued to stare and study one another, she wanted nothing more than to scream at him to just leave her alone since he obviously wanted nothing to do with her. She squeezed her hand in a fist around the necklace and felt the edges dig into her palm, jarring her enough to calm her down. This wasn't his fault, none of it was.
“I am sorry that you were dragged into any of this,” she at last said.
“How much of it was real?”
“For me… all of it,” Hermione answered truthfully.
He said nothing.
“And for you?”
Severus nodded his head and took another small step towards her. “All of it.”
“What happens now?”
He brought his hand up and cupped her cheek. “We are no longer under a spell, but for a reason that I am not able to explain, I want to know how the fairy tale ends?”
“This is hardly a fairy tale. No evil stepmother, no tree dropping gifts, no shoe…”
“No Prince Charming,” he finished for her.
She quirked her lips. “Well, you are a Prince, and I find you rather… enthralling.”
Severus brushed his thumb along her cheek and down across her lips. “And you were quite wrong about the evil stepmother. I met your mentor briefly. I believe she qualifies.”
Her lips opened softly at his touch, sending small shivers down her back. “Yes, I suppose you're right.”
“And I believe that this is a shoe,” he said, pointing to the locket in her hand.
He pulled his thumb slowly down her lips, dragging her lower lip and opening her mouth a bit more. Hermione closed her eyes and give a small sigh, enjoying the simple sensation. She felt him move closer as he moved his hand from her cheek to behind her head to weave within her hair. She could now feel his warm breath only inches away from her.
“And I strongly believe that if the shoe fits…” He never finished his sentence as his mouth covered hers. The feel of his lips on hers immediately set a fire in her belly to accompany the one flaring in her heart. Moments later, his tongue licked along her lips and then into her waiting mouth where she readily welcomed the intrusion.
Hermione had no idea how she came to be encircled within his arms, with her arms encompassing him, the locket long since forgotten and now somewhere on the floor at their feet.
It was some time later that a knock on the door caused them to pull apart, albeit reluctantly. Hermione was certain that once Severus came to his senses he would scream at her and wonder what the bloody hell he'd done.
Heidi opened the door and glanced between Hermione and Severus with a knowing smile. “Healer Sedgwick is looking for you,” she told her.
“Oh, um, thanks.”
Heidi gave her a small wink and shut the door.
Hermione turned to Severus. “I should get back.” She was reluctant to leave him. Especially after how she'd left him Friday night. She wanted desperately to know what he was thinking. “I should be off in another hour. Would you stay? Perhaps we could go to dinner?” she asked.
He nodded. “I think that could be arranged. I have something to take care of right now anyway. Seven-fifteen at the ground floor stairwell?”
“Yes, I'll be there.” Hermione left to go find Healer Sedgwick and finish her job in the Potions Lab.
Severus spied the locket on the floor. He picked it up and waved his wand over it as he muttered an incantation. He then grabbed the stapler from off of the desk and carefully transfigured it to match the necklace. Being certain to place the genuine locket in his pocket, he cast a final spell on the Transfigured jewellery and set off to find someone.
A/N: There is only an epilogue left. Thanks for reading!