Narcissa stared through her window at the setting sun. She didn’t want to take her eyes off it; she wanted to focus only on the bright yellow and orange colors of the sun, so as not to focus on the conversation she and her father had just had.
And yet, too soon, Narcissa grew bored and pulled her eyes and concentration away from the setting sun and its colors. Almost instantly her awareness shifted to what she and her father had spoken of at dinner.
It wasn’t that Lucius Malfoy was a bad person “ he was as good as she was going to get. It was the way her father had spoken of it that bothered her.
“Narcissa, tomorrow Lucius will be here to give you the engagement ring.”
“But Father -”
“I don’t want to hear a word. Lucius Malfoy is from a very well respected pure-blood family “ he is handsome, and he is rich, so he should be able to take care of you quite well.”
It was as if her father was shipping her off. He hadn’t bothered to give his daughter a chance to have a say on who she was going to marry!
Narcissa lay on her bed and sighed sadly. She had used to think her father had her best interests at heart. She always thought her father would be the type to let her marry whomever she wished. She never imagined that he would be a dogmatic, arrogant pure-blood, with no intentions of marrying his daughter to anyone lower than his own blood status.
The following day came too quickly for Narcissa’s taste. As her Father had promised, Lucius was waiting for her when she came downstairs for breakfast.
“Narcissa!” said Lucius pleasantly. “How are you today?”
“I’m all right, Lucius,” said Narcissa nonchalantly.
Lucius’s smile faded just a bit. “Might we take a walk in the gardens?”
Knowing perfectly well what was coming and, resigned to her fate, Narcissa agreeably accompanied him.
He remained quite for quite a long time, seemingly admiring the scenery, and not looking anywhere near Narcissa. He stopped when they reached the lake that was Narcissa’s joy. She had loved swimming in that lake when she was a child, and occasionally still did when the house was unoccupied. It was a special pastime of hers that she allowed no one to find out about “ if anyone knew, they would surely scold her for her lack of discipline and frivolity. Narcissa thought it easier to simply hide her activities from anyone who might disapprove of it.
“Narcissa, there’s something I would like to ask you.” Lucius turned around and looked straight into Narcissa’s bright blue eyes. Reaching a hand into his pocket, he pulled out a small box, and opened it to reveal a beautiful diamond ring. “Will you marry me?”
It wasn’t as romantic as it should have been. Narcissa had known this was coming, so she, unfortunately, did not experience the dazed shock that brides-to-be enjoy when their lovers ask them to be their wives. It all felt very business-like and rushed, like it was something that had to be over and done with soon. Narcissa imagined it to be a play, a staged play, and she and Lucius were the main characters. She was surely not playing her part correctly, for she had not said a word to accept or refuse Lucius’s offer. He was gazing at her with wide gray eyes, awaiting her answer, as if he didn’t know she had no choice but to accept.
Narcissa forced herself to smile. “Oh, why Lucius, of course I’ll marry you!” When she said those words, Narcissa felt her heart sinking deep into a pool of freezing cold water. She felt cold and constricted, as if she had just ended her own life with those few words she had spoken to Lucius. She had just stolen away her own chances of a happy life with her acceptance of Lucius’s staged proposal.
The engagement did not last long, for soon the wedding was happening. Narcissa was beautiful, of course. Her long blonde hair was piled high on her head loosely, allowing a few strands to fall and frame her pale face. Her blue eyes were decorated and accentuated with mascara and eye shadow, and her cheeks were dabbed with blush. She had only a dab of pink lipstick. Her dress was tight-fitting and sparkled, of course: only the best for Narcissa Black.
Narcissa stood dully in front of her mirror, as her sister Bellatrix gushed happily, completely unaware that her sister was feeling as hollow as an empty water bottle.
“Cissy, don’t worry about getting lipstick on your teeth, just smile!” Bella pulled out her wand and applied a temporary sticking charm to the makeup on Narcissa’s face. “You’re so lucky to be marrying someone like Lucius Malfoy, Cissy. You wouldn’t believe how happy I am for you.”
Bella rested her hands by her sides and smiled at Narcissa. “I think you’re ready,” said Bella happily.
Narcissa followed her sister downstairs and into the gardens, where the wedding would be held. Struggling to keep herself composed, Narcissa widened her eyes and tried to force a smile to her face. However, it seemed her lips would not comply with her request.
Multitudes of guests greeted Narcissa, congratulating her, wishing her good luck and happiness with her new life and her new husband. All of this bounced off Narcissa’s hollow shell; she couldn’t care less what these people thought.
Narcissa did not know how she got through her vows. She stared at Lucius’s shiny black shoes to keep her occupied. She recited the words her father had made her memorize without much thought to what she was really doing. When Lucius lifted her chin to kiss her, Narcissa shut her eyes firmly before his lips made contact. She kept her mouth closed tight as Lucius applied a stiff kiss to her own rigid lips.
After the vows, more congratulations and wishes of happiness. Narcissa didn’t understand why these people did that “ could they truly believe she was happy, or ever would be? She couldn’t accept why these people, including her father, kept themselves drowned under a façade of happiness. But Narcissa had broken the façade long ago. She knew it was all an illusion.
Narcissa managed to wander off without anyone catching sight of her. She was thankful for a bit of alone time before she went home with Lucius. She sat by the lake, which was devoid of anyone’s presence. Dipping her carefully manicured and polished hand into the cold water, Narcissa shuddered. It was surely as cold as her life would be from now on.
Narcissa still did not understand the importance of her marriage to Lucius. It probably had something to do with the fact that he was a rich pure-blood, and her father had probably made a deal with Abraxas Malfoy that related to money. That must have been it. Narcissa did not appreciate being the object of trade between them. She did not want her life with Lucius. So why should she live a life if it was destined to be a miserable one?
Slowly, and barely aware of what she was doing, Narcissa stuck her right shoe into the lake, feeling her sock absorb the cold water. Using her other shoe, she pushed herself farther and farther forward, until she tipped over and fell into the water.
Narcissa kept her eyes closed. She could no longer feel the cold; the feeling of euphoria that descended over her had overpowered it. She would be gone soon, she knew it. She was sinking quickly, and soon she would be in eternal bliss…
The first thing Narcissa did when she regained consciousness was cough. Looking around, she realized she was lying in what must have been St. Mungo’s. Lucius was standing beside her.
“Lucky I was there, eh, Narcissa?” said Lucius laughingly. “If I hadn’t been there to see you trip and fall into the lake, you would have surely drowned. Even if you could swim, the dress would have surely pulled you down.”
Narcissa looked at Lucius suspiciously. He was speaking to her as if all that had happened had been a simple accident due to clumsiness. He was lying. If he had truly been there, it would have been clear to see that Narcissa had not tripped.
“What a thing to happen on our wedding day!” sighed Lucius. “You must be more careful, darling.” Narcissa looked at him carefully. His eyes said it all. He knew. He knew what she had done, or rather, tried to do. Yet he wasn’t acknowledging it. Why?
Maybe Narcissa had given Lucius less credit than he deserved. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as she thought. But she was still not convinced that Lucius was holding back simply to ease her conscience. She could not believe that he would not confront her with this later on “ or worse, threaten her with it.
However, at the moment, Narcissa could think of such things. She had almost left the world she so despised. Lucius thought he saved her. No, he hadn’t. Narcissa had been intending to save herself “ and be spared the agony of living with a man she did not feel an ounce of love or affection for. No, Lucius had not saved her. He had only prolonged her suffering.