Her two delicate fingers slowly drifted over her son’s serene face. Her pale skin matched the little boy’s; pure and gracefully, her weak fingers outlined his eyebrows, trailing to his petite baby nose, falling towards his soft pink lips. His skin was so soft, so untouched by the world’s cruelties and evil. He snoozed in tranquility, with no knowledge of what was going on in the world.
He was a perfect little boy, dreaming of fantasies only youth can. Dreaming of candies and sweets, of toys and happiness. The untainted life laid in her arms, her little boy “ her precious little boy.
She couldn’t say the same for herself. Her hands were rough and dried from years of living. She was still young, but many wrongs had passed through her life already. Her eyes, a dull blue, held recollection of deaths and torture. Her skin, pale and white, felt the evil that loomed around her home. Her mouth, dry and full of unsaid words, constantly zipped down for her own safety and that of her family. Her hair, harsh to her fingers and somewhat greasy, had been pulled and raked through so many times during her deep thoughts.
She was falling apart because of this life: her husband valued the Dark Lord over her; they were in a constant danger because of the war brooding. Only one thing pulled her back together, sewed her broken parts into one, and gave a flickering candle “ like light in her life. And that was her precious little boy, now rounding one year of age, snoozing into her cradled arms.
She rocked back and forth in her chair, patting his hair with calming motions, humming quietly to him. He would live away from all of this “ all of the darkness that surrounded his family’s name. His gray, shadow-like eyes would be filled with good things, not darkened and iced over by the path Lucius wanted him to follow. Her perfect little boy would not be polluted with a black soul because of murder.
Narcissa would not allow it. She would try her very best to guard her little boy, her little gleam of hope. She would protect him from the world; protect him from those who just wanted to use him. She would show him love, and show him to love. She would guide him towards an illuminated sunrise of a life “ not the sunset darkening he was fated to live by.
But, Narcissa feared, what if I can’t? She slowly floated her fingers across little Draco’s eyelashes, feeling them tickle her skin. What if I can’t save him from all of this?
Narcissa was growing older, and the Dark Lord stronger, just as Lucius’ worship to him was. It was only a matter of time before there was no way out. Narcissa respected the Dark Lord ever so much, respected his ideas, but by no means did she want that doomed life for her only child. The life of a shadow “ shrinking away from the light, hiding behind those of power, having to cling to one leader and serve them with your life “ or else. Death followed failure, no questions asked. How could she allow her little boy to be pushed into all of that?
But how could she stop it?
Denying her child to the Dark Lord could be amplified to defiance of him. Defiance and death went hand in hand, nowadays. What can I do? she thought, tears spinning in her eyes. Is there nothing I can do to prevent this?
Narcissa knew she was thinking far into the future, but it would all begin sooner than she’d like, she knew. She would be powerless after Lucius instilled thoughts into Draco’s head, making his mind murky and confused about what was best for him. Lucius would slowly trap Draco into the spider web of service to the Dark Lord; could she stop it?
The tears fell down her cheeks as she plunged deeper into her hopelessness. Was her son fated to live the life of darkness? She held her breath in attempt to push back sobs. Warm, unstoppable tears trailed down her face, burning her forever. These were tears she could never shed again, tears of uncertainty and doubtfulness, of defiance and loss. Tears for the loss of her son’s freedom in life.
A solitary drop hung on her chin unnoticed, suddenly falling through the air and spattering on little Draco’s face. His eyes flickered open, still half asleep.
Narcissa stared with blurred vision into his gray eyes, rocking back and forth harder with determination. She tried to shrug off the question that darkened his eyes: What’s wrong, Mummy?
“Nothing, Draco, nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” she whispered to him through deep, shaking breaths.
“You’re going to be fine. We’re going to be fine.” She nodded at him many times and tried to stop her tears. He slowly fell back into slumber, and she brought her fingers to his cheeks, where her tears had fallen. Wiping them gently, she spoke again.
“Because you’re my hope,” she told his young ears, unaware and untainted. “You’re my little shadow of hope.
Shadows of Hope by Sarakime
Chapter Notes: Thanks to Keri/Kask for betaing this for me! This, too, was written for the Slytherin In House Banner Challenge, for the Shadows of Hope banner by Roop/Nysuperstarz. :D
Hope you like it, and PLEASE read and review!