Interview with Mary MacDonald, Gryffindor girl in same year as Marauders.
Interviewer (I): So, Mary, what do you think of the Marauders?
Mary (M): They’re funny, I guess. Why?
I: I’m trying to get people’s opinions of them for the book I’m writing about them. What’s you most treasured memory of the four?
M: You’re writing a book? About the Marauders? All right, then ... whatever floats your boat. Will I be in it?
I: Sure, if you answer the questions.
M: Oh, right. Yeah. Treasured memory. Probably the time James won the Quidditch cup for us this year. That was hot, especially when he did that loop de loop and took his shirt off.
I: I see ... but what about the Marauders as a four? There have been many memorable moments, which one has stayed with you?
M: You mean pranks and stuff? Okay ... uh ... ooh, the time they turned McGonagall’s class into a disco for the end of the year.
I: Ah, the Transfigurdisco Incident of ‘74. A memorable moment, indeed. How would you describe your experience as a girl in the same House and year group as these four beloved miscreants?
M: Marty, do you always talk this weird when you’re interviewing people? (Off the interviewers look) All right, all right. I’d say it’s been very amusing and entertaining. Also, that James is a babe.
I: Thank you. One last thing “ if the naming off this book was up to you, what would it be?
M: Like a title? I guess ... “The Extraordinary Life And Times Of James Potter, Man-God Extraordinaire And His Three Friends”
I: An inspiring contribution. Thank you for your time.
M: Sure, Marty. Whatever.
Chapter One: The Plight Of The Pixie
[Marty]
“I work for The Cause.
“The Cause is not something you can reach by waving your wand and saying some words. The Cause is not something you can reach by handing out the odd leaflet. The Cause will never truly be reached, no matter how many orphans are fed, or murderers caught, or civil rights won. People will always be hungry, corrupt or oppressed.
“But if we do nothing “ if we stand by “ it will only get worse. Always remember ... any difference is a big difference.”
“Um. That’s really interesting and stuff, but do you know where the nearest bathroom is? I’ve not been this end of the school much.” The first year girl does look rather desperate.
“Sure,” I say. “Down the hall and to your left.”
“Thanks.” The girl turns and sprints away.
“Stay strong!” I call after her and smile to myself. Another recruit well and truly inspired. Although, I should really be getting back to the Dorm with these new books I borrowed from the Library, so I hurry back in the opposite direction and eventually find myself in the Common Room, banging them down onto a spare table.
The Pixie “ An Unknown Beauty
Pixies And Mythology
Why Do We Hate Pixies So Much? A Look Into One Of Wizardkind’s Biggest Mistakes
Muggles Are Right “ Pixies ARE Sweet When You Know How
Pixies And Me “ An Anthology
The OWLs start soon and I spent all day studying, so now I think I deserve some time to continue my extensive research into my current Cause “ the Plight of the Pixie.
[Remus]
“James, the point you’re missing is that Evans can’t stand you,” Sirius says. “And it’s no wonder, considering all the whining you do!” Although, to be fair, I think, half listening to them and half reading Peter’s Potion’s essay, She doesn’t see that part. Thanks to him, all she sees is an idiot.
“She does not hate me!” he protests. I sigh. How many times have we heard him say those words? Too many. James’s love is kind of heart warming and pathetic at the same time. If only Lily knew what we put up with because of her.
“Why do you even like her, anyway?” Peter asks.
I look up sharply from his homework “ mostly correct, although his handwriting is as illegible as ever and there are a few mistakes dotted about “ and begin signalling frantically for him to be quiet. No one needs to hear another retelling of why exactly James likes Lily, we’re all well aware by now ... however, it seems only Sirius (who looks rather pained, actually) and myself have learnt never, ever, to ask James why he likes Lily.
“Peter, my worm tailed friend,” Sirius hisses. “I would advise you to be quiet now.” And then, his eyes suddenly go from panicked, to distracted, a look they have taken on many times before. Usually just before he gets one of his infamous “great ideas”. Usually just before he and James start planning in very low voices, acting as if we live in a bizarre, military world with codes, drills and missions, which are always called “operations”. Usually just before someone gets their arse kicked and it’s either Snape (by us) or us (by McGonagall) and more often than not, it is both.
“I mean,” Peter continues, as Sirius starts muttering something about worms and tails. “She’s friends with Snivellus, after all.”
Oh, Peter, what have you done? Bringing up Lily and Snape? Now I’ll never be able to finish what is ultimately YOUR homework. Which, by the way, you were supposed to hand in three weeks ago.
I do not say this, however, because James has already opened his mouth and drawn a very long breath, as if whatever is about to come out will take a very long time.
“Do I have to tell you again, Peter?” he begins, incredulously, although he looks rather excited about the idea.
Here it comes.
“I mean, have you not noticed how her and Snivelly seem to be falling apart lately? She’s noticed his attacks on Muggleborns, she’s realising what a nasty little snake he really is. Lily is finally coming to her senses, waking up and smelling the tea leaves, so to speak ...”
Smelling the tea leaves? I’m sure the correct term is something quite different.
“And, once she’s free of that cockroach, all that will be left for me to do is swooping in and taking his place. Because if he wasn’t such a creepy fellow, she would have fallen in love eventually, it’s only natural. I, however, am far from creepy and so, as long as I gave her the companionship she got from Snape, she’d fall in love with me instead. It helps, of course, that I’m a God on the Quidditch Pitch. Did I ever tell you guys about the shape of her eyes?”
“Multiple times,” I mumble, in what I know is an unrealistic attempt to ebb the coming avalanche of drivel. However, Sirius has got that excited look in his eyes, the one he always gets just before he “
“Wormtail!” he cries, a little too loudly, standing up in a ‘eureka!’ moment of clarity. Well done, Sirius. You get fifty Nutter Points.
However, at least James is temporarily distracted.
“Peter’s new name ... can be Wormtail!” he says dramatically. “In fact ... we can ALL have new nicknames relating to ... to ... our favourite animals,” he finishes, glancing round at the Common Room, uncertainly. For a moment there, my heart stopped as he nearly told the whole Common Room about the one thing I never, ever, want them to know. Everyone is staring at him. No, really. Everyone. That group of First Years over there ... those older students in the corner ... the couple who were previously making out ... that strange girl in our year, who now appears to be taking notes on something furiously, glancing over at us feverishly now and then and concealing a grin, like she’s a cat who’s found some particularly appetising cream.
Peter, however, just seems pleased to have been given a nickname before the rest of us. Innocence is such a touching thing to behold.
[Marty]
So, I was reading up on pixies just now, when Sirius Black (one of the Marauders, give me a second and I’ll explain everything) stood up and started bleating (bleating, hmm, I like that word. I’ll have to use it in my book. Oh, damn. I’ll explain later) about Peter’s new nickname being Wormtail and how they’ll all have new nicknames based on “their favourite animals”. Naturally, I couldn’t let this moment slip by and pulled the nearest blank parchment towards me, so that I could begin scribbling down notes, occasionally looking up to check I wasn’t missing anything.
Apparently, Marauder Peter Pettigrew has been given the nickname “Wormtail” based on his animal preference. It appears to have been thought up by Marauder Sirius Black. No more nicknames have yet been proclaimed, but I will be listening out especially for any new names they are using for each other.
So, which animal, then, has inspired “Wormtail”? A creature with a worm-like tail, one can presume, but this leads to many (okay, not that many) possibilities. Perhaps, maybe, a “
Marauder James Potter just proclaimed loudly, “I am NOT going by the name of Horny!” Does his animal have horns, then?
“Don’t take it personally, J,” Peter replied. “I wouldn’t like to be on the wrong side of THOSE prongs!”
“Prongs,” Sirius repeated. “I like it. Welcome to the team, Prongs. It has a certain ring about it, don’t you agree?”
No further conversation has yet been overheard.
And, while I await more names to be announced, I will take this opportunity to explain the Marauders. They are four boys “ James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin “ who spend almost all of their time together. I find them absolutely fascinating. They are the school’s most notorious pranksters and yet come top of virtually every class. They are arrogant bullies to some and the most courteous of gentlemen to others. Girls fall over themselves, blinded by their looks, yet they are all single. They seem to really care for one another “ although I only notice this because of my near constant surveillance “ yet they are always bickering and arguing. There are so many conflicts in their personalities and yet they seem to be in total harmony with each other.
And it is this phenomenon that inspired The Book, all the way back in third year, when their fame really began to climb. I take notes on them often and have interviewed people around them “ although never them “ on numerous occasions. I have many folders of scrap pieces of parchment, full of their everyday behaviour. Every prank they’ve pulled “ to my knowledge “ I have recorded somewhere. And, eventually, I will write it all in a book, The Book, which will portray an accurate portrait of their lives.
Not that I’m a stalker or anything. My interest is purely psychological.
Naturally, this and my devoted campaigning for The Cause takes up most of my time, so it’s probably a good thing that a) I don’t have many “ or, in fact, any “ friends to distract me and b) I don’t mind solitude.
Sure, sometimes I wish I had someone to laugh and cry with. Wish I had something like the Marauders have with each other, like Lily Evans and that Snape guy have (although I hear that’s a little shaky and possibly crumbling at the moment), like Mary MacDonald, Roxanne Page, Phyllis Goodman and (when she’s not with that Snape guy) Lily seem to have. Those are the other girls in my year, who are in Gryffindor, by the way, they all seem friendly with each other.
But I never wish that for too long. My mother, Saffron Price, only ever had her sister, my Aunt Tabby, when she was growing up and they are both direct campaigners for The Cause. Obviously, those who work for The Cause are often solitary beings.
Besides. I’m happy. I’ve always been a happy kid, so my mother says. I have The Cause to work for daily, my studies to complete and The Book (which is still nameless) to write. It’s not like I’m ever short of something to do.
[Remus]
“So. Wormtail, for Peter. Prongs for James. How about Remus?” he asks and I sigh. Because, this means that I will be forced to think about my problem and that’s just something I don’t enjoy doing. I prefer to relish the times when it’s far away and my life seems normal, so thinking about it just reminds me of the hell I’m going to have to go through all over again in a few short weeks.
“Snoutface?” James suggests.
I raise an eyebrow. These friends of mine will be the death of me, one day. “Gee. Thanks,” I say dryly. “That’s really flattering. You go ahead with your cool nicknames, Wormtail, Prongs and whatever cool thing Sirius comes up with for himself. You guys will go down in history with names like that. Just don’t forget old Snoutface when you’re off being legendary, all right?”
“You don’t have to be called Snoutface,” Sirius says. “There are much cooler things to associate with were“ uh, with your animal.” Honestly, I don’t know what’s happened to Sirius’s discretion of late. Not that he had much to begin with.
“Ambereyes?” Peter pipes up.
“It sounds too girly,” I say, albeit a little sulkily. Because who wants to be known as Ambereyes?
Sirius takes it upon himself to inspire us a little. “Come on. Something to do with ... you know, what you ... you know.” I’ve always admired how he can convey such meaning in so little words. Which, by the way, was me, being sarcastic, a habit I picked up from my mother at a frightfully young age. “How about ... Snarler? That’s cool.”
“That’s psychotic,” James scoffs at him, quite rightly. “What about Mooner?”
“Mooner,” I repeat, sceptically. “Mooner. You know the sought of crazy reputation I’d get with a name like Mooner? People will think I can’t afford a belt.”
“What about Moony, then?” James says. “You know. It’s ambiguous. It’s ominous. It’s very cool.”
“Not really,” I point out, although it’s admittedly better than the other twaddle these twits have come up with so far.
“You’re just determined to hate every single name we give you,” Sirius snaps at me. This is not entirely true and if I had the energy, I would be offended. “So your opinion no longer counts. ‘Moony’ it is. Now ... how about the greatest of all of you? What will I be called? What special features do I have that we can make a good name from?”
“Fleas,” James says, grinning. Sirius glares at him, but I can’t help but smile.
“Well ... you look a bit like a Grim. How about Grimmy?” suggests Peter. I, personally, think this is rather a good idea and it suits Sirius down to the tooth.
“I refuse to be called anything that ends with an ‘ee’ sound,” he declares. “It’s too girly.”
This statement is so unbelievably rubbish that I can’t help but splutter, “And yet me being called Moony is of no consequence?”
Sirius, however, ignores me. “What other features do I have?”
“Fleas,” James says again. I laugh this time, feeling a little mutinous, but Sirius ignores us both and looks towards Peter.
“Your feet are sort of padded,” he says, shrugging, which is true, but a rather questionable thing to have noticed. Still, I suppose, due to his size, he gets a much better view of our feet when we’re on one of our ... escapades.
“Padded feet, eh? So ... Footpad? No, people might mishear and think you’re calling me ‘footpath‘ which would inevitably lead to confusion. What about Padfoot?”
“Yeah, great, good one,” James says distractedly. He is looking over my shoulder, towards the girls dormitories. Knowing what I will see, I turn to look, too. Sure enough, Lily Evans is coming down the stairs, talking urgently with Mary MacDonald.
As they walk past us, I catch Lily saying, “I just can’t understand why he would want to hurt people like that ...” And then she sighs, loudly. “I’ve turned a blind eye for too long, Mary ...”
Presumably, she is talking about Severus Snape “ or Snivellus, as we have affectionately called him from the day we met him. I will say here and now that I had no part in this particular nickname.
“Did you hear that?” James says excitedly. “‘I’ve turned a blind eye for too long’! That’s what she said! She must really hate him! It’s almost over! I’m in the game!”
Sigh. It seems, my friends, we have found ourselves back at the oh-so-familiar square one of the Distract-James drawing board.
AN: There you have it. All characters officially introduced! I hope you enjoy this, please remember to leave a review!