In a flurry of snow, Harry, Ron, and I decided to visit Hagrid in his hut this morning. For mid-December, the temperature wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but then again, it was pretty bloody cold.
“It seems like Hagrid moved his hut five times the distance from where it used to be,” complained Ron as we continued, almost blindly, through the snow.
Ron’s complaint didn’t seem so far-fetched, especially since the snow fall reached our knees, and every step toward Hagrid’s hut and away from the large, stone (did I mention warm?) castle took a hefty amount of leg strength. The latest layer of snow wasn’t light and fluffy like the stereotype (can snow have a stereotype?) that is usually portrayed, but this layer was rather dense and a bit on the heavy side. That made it all the more difficult.
“I wish this snow would stop falling,” Harry added. “By tonight the snow will probably be above our heads!”
“Well, it could be worse,” I began, trying to be optimistic. “Suppose we had to make our way across a sheet of ice instead. You two would never make it. You both are horrible ice skaters,” I said, teasing them.
“How would you know?” Ron asked defensively. “You’ve never seen us ice skate.” There was a heated “yeah” from Harry as we were walking.
“I can just tell,” I said knowingly.
“Hmph,” Ron snorted. “Well Harry and I wouldn’t want to ice skate anyway. Ice skating is for girls,” he said defiantly. As if it being a more feminine pastime had to do with anything. Merlin.
“Think what you want,” I muttered as Harry, who was leading us, suddenly stopped.
“What did you go and stop for?” Ron asked. “We still have a long way to go.”
“No we don’t,” Harry said, shaking his head. “We’re all ready here,” he said, pointing a gloved hand in front of our view.
No matter how hard I squinted my eyes, I failed to see anything but the white snow and the almost-matching sky.
“There’s nothing here, Harry,” Ron said tiredly. “And whose brilliant idea was it to come and visit him in this weather in the first place?”
“Mine,” I said. “So what if it’s snowing? Just because it’s after midnight doesn’t stop you from roaming the castle.”
“That’s different!” Ron objected.
“Oh yeah?” I scoffed. “How is that?”
“Well it doesn’t snow in the bloody castle, for starters,” Ron said loudly.
“Stop fighting, you two,” Harry commanded as I rolled my eyes at Ron, who never understands any point I try to make. Sometimes I think he does it purposely.
A silence followed as Ron and I glared at each other.
“Well if you two are going to stand out here and do nothing in the freezing cold, I’ll be looking for Hagrid’s hut,” Ron said irritably as he started to walk off.
“Ron, don’t -” Harry started to say. His warning was abruptly interrupted by a loud thud, and then a string of curses from Ron.
“I told you we were here,” Harry said.
“What was that I walked into?” Ron said, his face flushing.
Harry brushed off some snow from the offending object.
“Those, mate, were Hagrid’s doorsteps,” Harry chuckled.
As I stepped back a bit, sure enough, the outline of the hut became visible against the grey sky.
“Whose makin’ all that ruckus?” a deep voice growled from inside. As the front door opened, Hagrid’s angry expression quickly melted…like snow on a spring day, for instance. Boy, I wish it were spring with all this bad weather we’ve been having.
“Well lookee who I have ‘ere,” Hagrid said fondly. Ron scowled back at him, rubbing his shin. “Don’ jus’ stand there, come on in!” he told us, throwing open the door.
We all settled down on his lumpy sofa with a warm cup of tea. Hagrid offered us something to eat as well, but we politely declined his request. Okay, maybe our responses were a little fast… Our hats and scarves were hanging up on the door because it was plenty warm inside.
“So how have you been doin’?” Hagrid asked as he stirred his tea with a spoon.
“I’ve been great,” Harry said, giving me a side glance.
You know, I’ve been really confused lately about what Ginny said. I mean, how could I be in love with Harry? He’s my best friend, for Merlin’s sake. Being in love with your best friend seems way too weird. I mean, even if I happened to be in love with Harry, what’s the chance that he would love me back? To me, that sounds like a whole load of unnecessary heartbreak. But how do I explain how my heart tugs a little when he smiles at me? I think it might be best to just ignore the whole thing.
I lifted my teacup to my lips as I gave Harry a nervous smile. He beamed back at me.
“Yeah, we’ve been doing fine, Hagrid,” I said, looking away from Harry. I was embarrassed about the flip my heart performed when he smiled…not that he knew about it, but still. I was supposed to be ignoring it. “How about you?” I asked Hagrid.
“Oh, nothing out o’ the ordinary ‘ere,” Hagrid answered as he tipped his teacup sideways, letting some of his tea splash into Fang’s water bowl. “Jus’ gradin’ papers and such,” he said as he tilted his head towards a stack of papers on a nearby table.
“How is the Order doing?” Ron rephrased.
Hagrid shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Now you three know yer not of age and yer also not in the Order, so I can’t be tellin’ you anythin’. It is pretty confindential over there, you know. They don’t want nobody knowin’ stuff that they don’ need to know.”
“Yeah, we know. But Hagrid, it’s us you’re talking to. You can tell us can’t you? I mean, we’re probably going to find out anyway,” he bluffed, trying to coax out some information from him.
Hagrid frowned disapprovingly. “You know that I can’t say anythin’ no matter who ye are. Imagine if Dumbledore found out I leaked somethin’ about them attacks in London,” he muttered to himself, though what he said was quite audible to the rest of us.
“What attacks in London?” Harry asked, a bit loudly.
“Shhh!” Hagrid exclaimed, jumping up as his face paled. When he leaped, the entire hut shook and a plate even managed to fall off of a table and shatter. Fang started to bark at the noise.
“I didn’ say that out loud, did I?” Hagrid asked, looking at us anxiously, and all ready knowing the answer.
We all nodded. His tendency to reveal important (but confidential) information to us is a bit of a bad habit, to say the least.
“Go on,” said Harry. “You might as well tell us all of it, now that you’ve clearly said at least half of it.”
“Yeah, out with it,” urged Ron.
Hagrid sighed heavily, weighing his very few options.
“Fine,” he finally said. “But don’ go around discussin’ these matters in public, okay?”
“Of course we won’t,” I assured him, eager to find out what he was talking about.
Harry and Ron both nodded in agreement, exchanging interested glances.
Hagrid sighed once again before he said anything.
“Well, there have been some disappearances involvin’ some very important wizarding families,” Hagrid said gruffly. “The Claytons, the Bradfords, the Westscotts,” Hagrid said, ticking off the names on his fingers, “All o’ them are gone. Not a trace of them at their place o’ residence. We would figure there’s some sorta attack that was made, ‘cause when the Ministry when to investigate, the places were all in a mess.”
“How did the Ministry think to go and check up on them in the first place?” asked Harry.
“You see, those families had worked fer the Ministry and they hadn’t showed up to work fer a couples days without an explanation, so of course the Ministry is gonna be a bit suspicious,” Hagrid answered.
“I wonder why they were Ministry families,” Ron said, probably thinking about his own family. “That’s a bit of an odd coincidence, don’t you think?”
“I’m thinkin’ that this was no coincidence at all,” Hagrid said. “But enough o’ that. I’ve told you a lot more than you need to know. Don’t you have somewhere’s else you need to be?” he asked us. He was probably trying to get us out before he told us anything else.
“Fine, fine,” Ron said getting up and grabbing his scarf.
“It was nice talking to you,” Harry said.
“Yeah, yeah, yer all welcome ‘ere anytime,” Hagrid mumbled looking at the floor, clearly upset about spilling his secret to us.
When we got out of the hut, the snow fall had obviously increased. As we trekked through the grounds, we discussed what came up in Hagrid’s hut.
“So what did you think of that?” Ron asked, huffing as we were making our way back to the castle.
“I thought it was strange. Why haven’t we read anything about it in the Daily Prophet? Why would they keep it a secret, anyways?” He paused. “I wonder what happened to them.”
“They might have been murdered,” I said, thinking out loud. “Or maybe they made it look like an attack, but they’ve gone over to Lord Voldemort’s side. Or maybe he really did attack and is controlling them with one of the Unforgivable Curses.”
Ron flinched at Voldemort’s name. “Always trust Hermione to come up with the most explanations for something.”
“You know,” Harry said, pausing at the end. “It’s close to the holidays, and maybe we shouldn’t be worrying right at this second. Maybe we should change the subject to something a little more cheerful,” Harry said uncertainly.
“Did you have the quidditch game in mind, mate?” Ron asked, complying with Harry’s request.
“Yeah, that and that masquerade ball that Dumbledore was talking about,” Harry said, looking from Ron to me.
“I can’t believe Dumbledore couldn’t come up with a better plan to keep us here over the holidays. I don’t want to have to live through another ruddy ball. I don’t want to go through the humiliation of being rejected by girls who I ask to go to the ball with. And I certainly don’t want to have to dance. That is torture in itself, that is,” Ron said, ending his rant.
“Did you have anyone in mind?” Harry said, asking the both of us.
“Erm, no,” I said quickly, feeling a blush creep up.
“Me neither,” Ron said. “I’ll wait for someone to ask me this time, and if no one does, then I’ll just stay up in the common room.”
“Alone?” Harry asked.
“You mean you wouldn’t stay to keep me company?” Ron asked.
Harry shrugged.
“Some friend you are,” Ron said, but we knew he was kidding.
“Do you have anyone in mind?” I asked curiously.
Harry adjusted his glasses, which he always does when he’s nervous. “Well, um, yeah, actually I do,” he said, avoiding my gaze.
“So who is it?” Ron said, nudging him in the ribs. “Hannah? Padma? Pansy? Have you still got a thing for Cho?” Ron inquired.
“No, none of those girls,” Harry said.
“Then who is it?” Ron asked. “By the way, quit playing with your glasses. You do that when you’re nervous.”
“I do not,” Harry objected.
“You do that whenever Snape glares at you when you’ve just finished making fun of him,” Ron said.
“What? No I don’t,” Harry responded as he stopped adjusting his glasses.
“Yes you do, Harry,” I said as if my input would stop the argument…which surprisingly, it did. That, and we had reached the castle.
Ron and Harry left in the direction of Divination as I made my way up to Arithmacy. There was no more discussion about the ball. That is, until after dinner, when Harry took me aside and requested that we walk around the halls a bit.
“So Harry, what did you want to talk to me about?” I asked him.
“Well, it is kind of about the ball,” Harry said, trailing off, hoping that I’d know what he was talking about.
Apparently I didn’t, but I thought I did.
“Ohhh,” I said with dawning realization. “Do you want me to ask a girl for you? I’d rather not do that, Harry. It’s much better if you ask them yourself, you know. They’re less likely to reject you. But then again, who would honestly reject you?” I said with a laugh.
“No, it’s not that,” Harry said in a rush. “I was wondering if you’re going to the ball with anyone.”
“You mean since this morning? No one has asked me…unless you count that sweet third year, but I don’t really know him and I’m not really for going with someone three years younger than me,” I chuckled. “Why?”
“You know we’re friends, right?” Harry said, avoiding the question.
“Best of them,” I said.
“Yeah, well friends always stick together, right?”
“Through thick and thin,” I responded.
“But do you think that maybe best friends could be more than just best friends?” he said, his bright green eyes studying me.
“You’ve lost me,” I said, confused.
“Hermione,” he said, taking both of my hands in his warm ones and turning to face me. “Would you like to go to the ball with me?”
Our eyes locked and I felt an overwhelming surge of emotion that I have now classified as love. Too bad I hadn’t known what that was earlier.
“You mean, as friends?” I asked, confused by the questions on friendship he just asked.
Suddenly Harry seemed to lose the boldness he used to ask me in the first place. “I guess so,” he said, a bit dejectedly. “If that’s how you’d like it.”
“I mean, we’re best friends,” I said, giggling nervously. And let me tell you right now, I hardly ever giggle. “Sure, I’ll go with you.”
The trip back to the common room wasn’t as exciting. Harry hardly said anything, except to mention that the weather was nippy today. But who hadn’t known that?
I made my way to the girls’ dormitory. After I had blown out the candle, and had laid in the dark for a while, it all suddenly hit me.
I had feelings for Harry.
And he had them for me too.
What’s worse is that I completely ruined it, and now we were only going as friends. I wonder what Harry thinks? I’m so stupid! Well, romantically challenged, at least. How could I have…? Why didn’t I see that…? There were so many things I messed up on that I can’t even count them. Oh yes, and Ginny was right… I can’t let her know that. What am I supposed to do now? I’ve messed up big time.
- H. Granger