BAM! With a start, Remus Lupin jerked awake, banging his head accidentally against the window that he had been leaning on. He had been having the most vivid dream, involving a little boy with three friends, lots of green light, and a young woman who could change her appearance. Details slipped from his memory so rapidly that his efforts to retain them were futile, like trying to catch running water in his hands. But certain parts remained, most of them details about the woman with the variable appearance. He thought her name might be Tonks. Her smile remained in his mind’s eye, twinkling at him even as the colors of her hair changed, and the shape of her eyes and noses was altered in a continuous cycle.
He began to notice more things about his surroundings. The floor beneath him was rattling; he seemed to be on a train. Looking around, he realized that he was indeed on a train: the seats around him were a mustard yellow color, but most of them were empty. It appeared that many of the other passengers were asleep as well, but some seemed to be waking up. As Remus’ eyes got used to his new surroundings, he watched a teenage boy a few rows ahead of him jerk awake, banging his head against the window just as Remus had.
There was no sound other than the rumble of the train’s engine as it roared on. The windows were foggy; Remus assumed that wherever he was traveling, it was raining outside, or at least cloudy. The lulling of the train’s wheels pounding against the track soothed Remus, giving him time to take in his surroundings.
He couldn’t remember falling asleep here, and yet it seemed to be a familiar place. No one seemed bothered by his appearance at all “ those that were awake weren’t bothered by it, at any rate. It seemed that the train had gone around for a long, long time, holding the sleeping people until they woke up, if that were truly the point.
The train seemed to be slowing down. Remus looked outside the window with interest, hoping to catch a glimpse of what lay in store for him outside the train walls. The windows were still too foggy for him to see anything, so instead he just contented himself to resting peacefully and in wonder.
“King’s Cross, five miles approaching,” called out a voice from the intercom above him.
King’s Cross? The name pulled at something in Remus’ mind. It sounded like a safe place, someplace that he had been before, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Maybe he had visited it in his dream? Yes, that had to be it.
The train pulled to a stop and there was a whistle of steam as the conductor applied the brakes. Remus stood slowly from the seat, his knees creaking so much he supposed he must have been sitting there for a long time. A few rows ahead of him, the boy was also rising. Remus noticed that many of the passengers were still asleep, unaware of the fact the train had come to any station at all, even if it were not their station. Oddly, this didn’t bother Remus much as he dismounted the train onto the platform.
King’s Cross Station was full of people alighting from the trains at the platforms. The most interesting part to Remus was that no one seemed to be getting on the trains; instead, the station was becoming fuller and fuller as the trains delivered more and more people to the platforms. Remus walked through the crowd with ease, not entirely sure where he was going, but still knowing somehow in his heart that he was heading in the right direction. He followed the jostling crowd as they strode through the station. Remus was beginning to wonder where his heart was leading him when a voice called out,
“Remus Lupin!”
It was a familiar voice, one that he had maybe heard in his dreams, yet he had the sense it was one that he had thought he would never hear again. As Remus caught sight of the man calling to him, he could not give a name to this face, but he knew it was one from his dreams. But what had the man’s name been?
“Welcome, Remus,” the man said, embracing him.
Remus felt himself accept and return the embrace; it was clear his heart trusted the man. But Remus could still not identify the familiar face. “Who are you?”
The man smiled. “I daresay you’ll remember me when I tell you who I am.” Remus looked at him inquisitively. “My name is Albus Dumbledore.”
“You were in my dream,” Remus told him. The man called Dumbledore smiled at him.
“Remus, that was not a dream. That was your life.”
Remus furrowed his brow. “My life…? Was? So that means, that I’m…dead?”
Somehow, even as Dumbledore nodded, Remus found that he did not care. It seemed that, in death, it did not matter that he had once been alive and that he was now gone. He could not feel any pain…no physical pain, at any rate. He did not regret being here, regret being dead in the least. Except there was something, one thing, nagging at him. It pulled at his heart, and he felt that he might die if he did not resolve it. It pained him. He had not felt it until now, though he supposed it had always been there.
He wanted to see that woman again. The woman from his dream “ or, rather, his life. There was something about her face, about her eyes, about maybe even her heart, that just made Remus want to hold her and never let go. He missed her. In his mind’s eye, he could see the woman holding a little boy. The little boy was giggling, grinning at the woman. Remus missed the little boy too. The sensation tore at his heart and brought tears to his eyes. He saw Dumbledore reach out his hand.
“She is coming,” Dumbledore said quietly.
Remus looked into Dumbledore’s face. “She’s dead?” He nodded. Remus swallowed hard. “And the boy?”
Dumbledore shook his head. “Your son lives, Remus.”
“My son…” Remus’ voice trailed off. “That means…she’s my wife?” She must be Tonks, he realized, remembering that name from his dream.
Dumbledore nodded. Remus had difficulty swallowing the lump in his throat.
“He’s all alone,” he said mournfully. “My son will be raised without parents.” He felt tears spring to his eyes again. “Who is going to take care of him?”
“I know a boy, who has long since become a man,” began Dumbledore. “His parents were killed when he was barely a year old. And he was very well taken care of himself. He found friends, and he found love. And he was raised by all his late parents’ friends and their sons and daughters. He was never alone.”
Remus nodded slowly. “Did I know this man?”
“Yes,” Dumbledore replied. “You knew him very well. And you helped raise him.” Dumbledore paused and patted Remus on the shoulder. “I’m sure Harry will do the same for your son.”
Dumbledore patted Remus again, and then left him. Remus found that he felt somewhat better. His son would not be alone…His son would never be alone. And he would see him again someday…just like he was going to see his wife again soon.
She is coming…The words pulled at his heart. He wanted to see her again; he couldn’t wait to see her again. He began to run, sprint back to the train he had left. He dodged people skirting past him, and nearly ran into a luggage trolley in his desperation to see her again. He ran like he had never run before, unable to contain his excitement, his desperation to see her again. He turned a corner just as he heard the hiss of smoke from one of the trains.
And there she was. Emerging from the newly-arrived train, she descended the steps with grace, her long purple hair flowing behind her. As Remus stared, he saw her hair change color to brown and then to blonde, and her eyes from silver to hazel. He couldn’t move; he felt frozen to the spot by his awe. She was there, and that was all that mattered at that moment.
She spotted him and winked. She walked over to him slowly, completely ignoring the people around her who were going in the opposite direction. She stopped right in front of him and took his hands in hers.
“I saw you in my dream,” she whispered to him.
Remus shook his head. “No. You and I were married in your life.”
He saw a slight frown cross her face, and he knew she had just comprehended the fact that she was dead. “You’re Remus,” she said softly. “I was calling that name before I…died.”
He grinned at her. “You remember me.”
“Do you remember me?” she asked, searching his face.
It’s her , his mind told him. “Tonks,” he said, smiling at her. “Your name is Tonks.”
She nodded and hugged him tightly. Remus held her with the same fervor, savoring the feeling of her in his arms. He felt her crying against his shoulder and he drew back, his eyes questioning her.
“Our son is all alone,” she said sadly.
Remus shook his head. “No. He will never be alone.” She looked at him questioningly. “We had too many friends in life for our son to be alone now that we’re gone. They will take care of him.”
Tonks nodded, tears still wet on her cheeks. Remus brought his hands to her face and cupped her cheek, gently wiping the tears away. He rubbed his thumb against her cheek, looking deep into her eyes, searching her soul. “Do you still love me?” he whispered.
“Forever and always,” she said fiercely. She pulled him towards her and kissed him. “Our son will never be alone, and I will always love you.”
He wrapped his arm around her waist and the couple turned to follow the crowd leaving the station. They walked together, and in silence, knowing that no words were needed to describe their feelings of contentment and happiness. They were led out of the station, out into the great horizon, the next great adventure. Even now in death, there would always be their love.