I laughed too soon. For years I had thought that I was invincible. But all it took was a single red light, a stunning spell, to knock me off my feet and into the Veil. A place where people lurk out of sight.
As I fell nearer and nearer towards that veil, the voices became louder and clearer. To tell the truth I hadn’t even registered them at first, but in those last seconds I certainly did.
I barely even noticed that the veil was there until I was upon it, until I was practically behind it. At first, I thought that the spell had simply pushed me through the silky material and that I had come out on the other side of the archway. But then I looked around.
White mist surrounded me and it was so dense that I was surprised that I could see my hand when I put it in front of my face. It wasn’t warm or cold really, just pleasantly in the middle. The space seemed to go on forever and I walked around for a while, trying to find out where I was and if there was any way out.
There was one thing for certain; I was no longer protecting Harry, the person that I so wanted to save.
I waited and he came, or so I had first thought. There were three figures making their way towards me. Their details were blurred, and for a second I had thought that the middle figure was Harry; I made to greet him and ask him if he knew where we were.
Imagine my surprise when his face grew clear and sharp, revealing not Harry, but James. He enveloped me in a brotherly hug, but I was so shocked that I could barely return it. I remember thinking, “well this is really unexpected.”
The other two figures remained slightly blurry and out of focus. It was like they were in shadows, or they had they’re back to the light.
James seemed to know what I was thinking. “You’ll find out in time,” he said quietly, the first time he had spoken to me in fourteen years.
“Oh, so the first thing that you say to me in years is ‘you’ll find out in time?’” I said, mimicking him slightly. “No, hello? Or even how are you?” I continued. I was more than a bit annoyed, who want’s to be in a strange place with a dead person? James just shrugged. I frowned and waited for him to retaliate but he never did, this was surprising in itself.
My mind was thrown back to his first statement. “Does time even exist any more?” I asked in a feeble attempt to lighten the ominous mood that I had created. For I’d figured everything out now, as soon as I saw James it had clicked. I had joined the whisperers behind the veil and now I would find out who they were- in time.
James laughed a little. I had really missed that laugh. Well probably more like I had missed him, when I was alone with the Dementors. Those twelve years had been hell. The only sane thing I had was knowing I was innocent. This, death, was by far better.
“Yes, time still exists; in a way,” James finally answered my long forgotten question. I was surprised a little. For a while I had forgotten that he was there, I had been lost in memories.
Barty Crouch’s voice echoed through my head. There will be no trial, send him straight to Azkaban, just as I had imagined, so many years ago. I shuddered a little and looked around, my surroundings were still as fuzzy and dense as ever and I couldn’t make out where I was yet.
James looked at me for a while. “Speaking about time, we have to wait,” he finally said. I frowned a little.
“Wait for what? And why are you being so, I don’t know Zen-like?” I asked, slightly confused.
“Your death, your after-life, for just now anyway,” he said, leaving the last question unanswered.
For ages I wandered about the cavernous space of nothing. The two figures remained in the shadows and James just watched me. I looked down and grinned.
I was wearing my old school robes; James probably had something to do with this. I looked up into his shining eyes and I saw his face fill with happiness, the first emotion I had seen in what felt like months. Or was it my emotion?
I laughed, James knew me too well. Hogwarts was the only place that I had ever felt happy. Memories flashed threw my mind, throwing me slightly out of balance as they whizzed past so fast. Finally I settled on one.
It felt like I was there again. The Sorting Hat was on my head, searching my mind. I seemed to have taken the longest out of anyone else and it never stopped muttering into my ear, debating about where to put me, before finally declaring me a Gryffindor.
The red and gold table muttered for a while, well everyone did, and, and then they started to cheer. I stumbled across to them, ignoring my old family, they Slytherins. I felt shock, happiness and a sense of belonging before I was brought back to now, with James.
“So you finally remembered a happy memory?” James asked grinning from ear to ear, “I thought it would take you years to get over those memories of Azkaban. You have to be careful not to think bad thoughts here, in Limbo. The can muck up your mind.”
I frowned, confused. “So this isn’t death? I mean, there’s something else?” I asked.
James nodded. “Yeah, something better,” he said, grinning.
I felt relieved, the depressed mood I had felt earlier lifted completely. I was myself again. James and I were together and there was a better place to go to. There was no need to feel angry or sad.
We talked about life, with the occasional bicker over who was better looking and who had leaded a better life. I had forgotten how funny James could be, how he nearly read my mind at times. I picked up on some old habits. Like when he would mess up his hair, or scratch his nose when he thought.
I remembered things about my self as well. I went back to when we were at Hogwarts. I started making sure that my fringe fell into my eyes. I rested my elbow in James’s shoulder; I had forgotten how he had always been the perfect height to do this.
Then, the talking stopped and James dropped the bombshell. “Do you want to find out who this is?” he asked gesturing towards one of the shadowed figures. I looked up in surprise, I had completely forgotten about the mystery people.
I nodded slowly in agreement and the tallest figure walked forward, becoming more detailed by the second. I held my breath and waited.
It was Regulus, who I had deliberately exiled from my mind years ago.
I stared in shock and again a thousand memories circled around my brain until I settled on one.
All I saw was another Sorting and I knew what it was. Regulus who had always been on my side in the family wars was made a Slytherin.
I began to feel angry and disappointed. I frowned, why would I feel disappointed should I not be feeling surprised or shocked that Regulas was right there in front of me? Slowly I pushed my memory to the back of head, it was affecting me.
My mind kept on pushing thoughts on me though and I remembered a time when I was six and Regulas was five.
It was late and we sat playing with charmed toy cars. Regulas picked the green one and sat waiting for me to argue, demand that I had the best car, but I just shrugged and chose the red toy. I liked the colour better anyway. Regulas however was shocked. “You can’t pick that one!” he insisted. “It’s icky, Gryffindor red!” he squealed. But I didn’t care secretly I loved being different. From then on I made a point of choosing red whenever I could.
I opened my mouth to speak, just realising that Regulas was still there, but I was interrupted before I could say anything, “Sorry,” Regulus quickly said. “I’m sorry that I didn’t stick up for you, when Mum was angry,” he continued.
I nodded, speechless, but my head was swimming and my Mothers face suddenly dominated my mind. “Gryffindor! Gryffindor! How could you? Traitor! Filthy traitor” her screams echoed around my mind until I closed my eyes and hummed loudly in my head. When I opened them again the voice was gone but Regulas was still there.
I stared at him for a while until James nudged me, “Hurry up, we don’t have long to wait!” he whispered urgently. I sighed and turned to Regulus who looked like he hadn’t heard James, but then he might just be ignoring him.
“Well it wasn’t your fault, I mean Mum probably poisoned your mind or something, once I was gone,” I said in a feeble attempt of a joke. This wasn’t far from the truth. I remembered receiving letters forma ten-year old Regulas in my first year, stating in awe about how angry our parents were, what they were saying about me. The letters became shorter and shorter until finally they stopped.
Regulus grinned a little. “Yeah,” he said. He then turned around and I just knew that he was going to disappear, probably forever.
“Wait!” I called. Regulus turned back around expectantly.
“I-I’m sorry as well. I mean I should have talked to you after, you know.” Regulus nodded and turned away. This time I didn’t mind him going.
James looked at me, perhaps a little weirdly. “So you’ve forgiven him then?” He said and my mind was cast back yet again to Regulus’s sorting. This time I saw James’s disbelieving face when he found out Regulas was my brother.
I thought for a while. “No, not really. I mean, he was a Death-Eater,” I answered truthfully.
James nodded. “Yeah, I didn’t think it would be that easy,” he said.
I sighed a little, something felt wrong, incomplete. “James, do you ever wish that you were less reckless as a kid, that you thought more about other people?” I asked, a sudden feeling of guilt washed over me as I though if the incident with Snape at full moon.
James made a face and shrugged, “Yeah, well sometimes,” he answered truthfully. Something told me that wasn’t the only person that wished I had grown up quicker and for that I was glad.
For now though I wanted to get out of this place.
So I grinned at James and started to look at the one person that remained in the shadows. I kept on glancing from him to the shadows until he gave in.
“Merlin, Sirius. You really are like a child,” he muttered. I laughed and watched the now familiar process as the figure started to form.
“Please let it not be my mother,” I joked as it became certain that the person was a woman.
It was Lily. I ran forward to greet her and she laughed as she threw her arms around my neck.
“I knew that I should have been worried about you two. Padfoot, you’ve greeted Lily best out of anyone since you’ve died!” James laughed.
“Well, you did sort of surprise me, Prongs,” I replied, grinning. It felt good to say that nickname again.
Yet again memories flashed in my mind. I saw the first time I witnessed one of Remus’s transformations. The time when I had thought up our nicknames, one of the many times that Snape had questioned us about them. Then I settled on one memory.
I remembered becoming an Animagus. What it felt like to be a dog for the first time, I bounded around the room in the Shrieking Shack and watched, as James became a stag. I felt the slight suspicion when Peter was made a rat.
“Sorry, just thinking of when we became Animagi,” I told James. “Saying ‘Prongs’ brought back a lot of memories.”
James nodded and grinned. “That was great, sometimes I still can’t believe that we actually did that!” he answered.
I banished all thoughts of the past, as a burning question entered my mind. “What do you think of Peter? I mean after what he did to you?” I blurted out.
Lily frowned a little as she thought, and James looked at the non-existent ceiling. Like he always used to do when he was uncomfortable.
“I don’t know,” they both finally answered, almost in unison. They grinned and looked at each other. I had almost forgotten how sickly they were together. You would think that after nearly twenty years together they would be different, but then again they hadn’t even aged. It had appeared that I had also gone back to my twenties.
Suddenly Lily turned to look at me. “How’s Harry?” she asked, looking worried and I felt a small ach of pain for those people I had left behind.
“Yeah, he’s great,” I answered feebly. “Just like you, James, great at Quidditch. Seeker though.” I added.
Lily nodded, though I had a feeling she already knew that. I thought about Harry for a while and wondered how he was. Something told me that he was alive but I couldn’t help but feel worried about him.
I felt slightly guilty that I had barely given him thought. I had just ditched him to lead a better life with his dad. I mean, who needed him more? Harry or me? For the first time I felt slightly home sick.
“Why are we here? I mean, we’re not going to be stuck here forever are we?” I finally blurted out, almost instantly I felt childish.
“We have to wait. I don’t know what for,” James answered. What was this, his new saying or something?
We sat and chatted for a while, but I felt a little spaced out. There was a tight, anxious feeling in my chest and it grew bigger and more constricting; until a green light filled the whole room and a body fell in and landed not too far away from where we were standing.
I rushed over to the man and looked down at him, it was Moony. I smiled at him and helped him to his feet before enveloping him in a hug.
Moony seemed to settle into death much better than I had, the only time that he looked distressed was when he asked for my little cousin, Tonks. I raised my eyebrows a little and thought about how much I had probably missed.
“You’ll find her soon, we just have to do something first,” Lily told him soothingly and after that Remus calmed down. He too seemed confused by James new catch phrase, ‘We have to wait,’ but never said anything.
I knew that we didn’t have long to wait now, and Remus’ presence felt like a sign. I grinned and wondered what James would think if he could read my thoughts. He would probably think that I was going the way of our crazy old Divination teacher. But then this new James was slightly different than the one that I remembered. He seemed wiser. Maybe death did that to people; I hoped a little that it didn’t do this to me.
Then a voice flooded the hall, Harry’s voice, “I am going to die,” he whispered and the room started to turn. I couldn’t think for a minute. Why was he dying? What was happening?
James grabbed my arm. “Don’t worry after this you’ll get to see what death really is like,” he muttered before we faded into the Forbidden Forest. I just knew that everything was going to be OK after this, probably better.
The real Marauders were united.
AN: Thanks to Amber my great beta who made this story way better and helped me when I was rejected. I would be nice if someone reviewed… ;)