The Very Best Gift of All by Pondering
It was all Lily’s idea. If anyone else had suggested to him that they should have an outdoor picnic in the middle of winter, Severus would have thought it a completely inane notion and not given it any further thought. However, Lily had a certain knack for making the impossible, the ridiculous and just the downright silly seem believable. Together they could conquer mountains, defeat imaginary enemies and reign over their own special world. Together, they were perfect.
“Hi,” Lily greeted; her breath hung in front of her in small clouds and a basket dangled off one of her arms. “Where do you want to go, Sev?” She sniffled a bit, the only remainder of the flu that she had been sick with all last week.
Severus looked up at the sky; letting snow fall onto his face. He shivered and tugged his coat around him tighter. “With you, Lily?”
Lily laughed, swatting him playfully on the arm. “Of course. I’m not trying to get rid of you.”
Severus smiled a happy, genuine smile. If he could, he would take her to the moon; take her anywhere she wanted to go, just to keep the sparkle in her eyes and the cheer in her grin. He couldn’t say this aloud, however, because of its sheer cheesiness. He thought for a place he could take her, any at all. For a moment, his mind was devoid of ideas. But in a flash of inspiration, it came. “Let’s go to the playground, Lily.”
“Okay, then.” She smiled that perfect, cheerful smile and they trudged in the snow until they reached the playground where they first met. There was a table a few metres away from the swing and Lily seated herself at it and put the basket down. She opened it and retrieved a red and white checkered picnic blanket from its depths and spread it over the table. Severus sat down next to her.
Then there was silence, but Severus didn’t mind that. The silences with Lily had never been awkward. In fact, they were perfect, just like everything else about her.
A giggle from Lily broke the quiet; she had her tongue poking out of her mouth, trying to catch the snow as it fell from the sky. Feeling Severus’s stare on her, she blushed faintly and closed her mouth. “It’s a wonderful day,” she whispered.
“Really?” Severus asked skeptically. “I think it’s bloody freezing.” He put his hands in the pockets of his coat to protect them from the cold.
“Don’t be silly, Sev,” Lily said, resting a hand on the sleeve of his coat. “You need to start looking on the bright side of things.”
“I don’t think there is a bright side to snow,” Severus grumbled.
Lily didn’t say anything, but merely tilted her head to look at the sky, her face looking peaceful and serene.
“What are you doing?” Severus asked, craning his neck in the same direction as Lily's.
Lily’s arm tightened around Severus’s arm. “Can you see the sky?”
“Obviously.”
“Can you see that it’s beautiful?” she whispered.
Severus could not say that the fat grey clouds that were belching out the soft snow were beautiful. He could not say that the bitter wind whipping at his face was beautiful. He could not say that the drops of snow themselves were beautiful; they were just white frozen clumps that made him feel as if there were bumps rising on his skin even through his heavy coat. He hated winter.
Then he turned to look at Lily. The whiteness of her skin was the same colour as the falling snow; her eyes were the same colour the grass would be in summer. Winter wasn’t beautiful: Lily was.
“Come on,” Lily said, pulling on Severus’s sleeve. “Let’s eat. I brought some left over cake.”
Yesterday had been Lily’s birthday, and Severus had only managed to see her for a minute to give her his greetings. Since Lily had still been recovering, she had been wary of passing anything onto Severus.
Lily wrestled with the catches on the basket and eventually withdrew a container carrying four very large slices of cake. “They’re all I could save,” Lily muttered apologetically. “Petunia wasn’t happy when I said that I was going to bring this cake to share with you today.”
Severus felt that ‘wasn’t happy’ was a bit of an understatement by the way that Lily’s face drooped as she said it. “Don’t worry. Petunia’s just—”
“Just what?” Lily interrupted, her eyes flashing angrily.
“Just…” Severus flailed around for a word that he could use to redeem himself, but could think of nothing.
“She’s just my sister.” Lily folded her arms across her chest and turned away from Severus, irritably blowing a loose strand of dark red hair out of her face. She took some paper plates out of the basket, and not saying anything; she shared the slices of cake out evenly onto them and began to pick at the icing on her own.
Severus looked at his cake. A few minutes ago, he had felt rather hungry. But now he had lost his appetite completely. He did not dare look at Lily, but instead just glared at his cake. However, he could not miss Lily’s fleeting glances at him as she munched on her own slice. Lily finished her first piece quietly, and rubbed the side of her mouth with a napkin. “Are you OK, Sev?” she asked. “You’re being awfully quiet.”
He looked up at her hopefully, and saw that she did not look nearly as angry anymore. He wished that he could tell her that he was sorry for the slight against her sister, but he did not feel that dredging up the subject of Petunia once more would be a wise move. Lily seemed cheerful again—that was all that mattered. “Yeah, I’m all right,” he assured her. Slowly, he begun on his first slice of cake as Lily finished with her second after sneezing a few times.
There was another silence, but this one was not perfect, as all the other ones had been. This one was awkward, and Severus almost didn’t know what to do. He reached into the pocket inside his coat. “Happy Birthday, Lily.”
Lily looked up and swallowed; she seemed slightly confused. “You said that yesterday, Sev,” she reminded him.
Severus raised an eyebrow. “Can’t I say it again?”
“Well, you can,” Lily giggled, “but why?”
“I brought you a present.” His fingers tightened around the vial in his pocket.
Lily suddenly looked alarmed. “I told you that you didn’t need to!”
“But I did.” He removed the vial and handed it to her. “Dad wasn’t home this morning,” Severus told her, a dark looking passing over his eyes. “Mum said that she knew he wouldn’t be back for a while,” his voice sounded slightly taut. “She agreed to help me brew this potion. She likes me making them—she thinks it will be a great subject for me to excel at school.”
Lily looked bemused at all this talk of potions. “What does it do?” she asked, looking curiously at the liquid in the vial. She held it up in the direction of the weak sun.
“It’s Pepperup Potion. Keep it, in case you get sick again this winter,” he urged.
Lily seemed a little perplexed. She shifted the vial from one hand to the other. Then, she finally looked back at Severus. “That’s so—”
“Stupid?” Severus interjected.
She hit in the arm teasingly. “No! I was going to say ‘sweet’! You were thinking of me?” she asked, coming closer and closer to Severus.
Severus shifted aside awkwardly, trying to move away from her, as there wasn’t much room on the bench. “I don’t want you to fall ill again, Lily,” he mumbled. “I know it wasn’t exactly the best gift I could’ve given you.”
Before he knew what was happening, Lily had flung her arms around his shoulders. Her face was entirely too close to his; he could feel her breath on his neck. “It’s not the best gift ever,” she agreed. She looked him up and down, her cheeks a faint red. "Nothing you can give me could ever be good enough."
Internally, Severus deflated. He knew it wasn’t good enough for someone as wonderful, as special as Lily. Someone like Lily deserved to have friends that could buy her nice clothes or pretty jewelry. If he had any money, any at all, he would have spent it all on Lily, just to see her smile once more. He closed his eyes, unable to bear the disappointed look that would be on Lily’s face once she let go of him. But she didn’t. Instead, her lips brushed his cheek. “You're the best,” she whispered into his ear.
Severus felt his face burn a bright red; he hoped and hoped that Lily couldn’t feel it as well. “I’m what?” he asked.
“You’re the very best gift of all."