Her neck bends back so thin veins show, her eyes heavily closed. Her red hair billowed out over the chair, on her shoulders, caught between her back and the chair; pretty much wherever it wants to go. She is beautiful. I don’t bother wondering why I’m still awake when she isn’t. She’d obviously had a long day,being far into her pregnancy, and it must be hard. But how would I know? I feel so useless, here.
To tell you the truth, I don’t know what she’s feeling. I wish that I could feel her pain for her, take the burden of carrying a child from her, but I can’t. If she is feeling how I am, she must be excited, but it is so hard to see through the tired eyes. Wow, I wish I could understand. We have always been close, but I want to get even closer. I feel so much love for this child, just as much as I do for her. I can picture teaching him to ride on a broom, to take his first steps, and to act the right way. I don’t want him to know about evil. I don’t want him to suffer as so many people in this world have, but Voldemort will be defeated by then, anyways. The Aurors will have beaten him. We are strong.
I push the covers off of me. It is too hot of a night for me, but I doubt it is for Lily. She is in the armchair right by the window, with the curtains blowing in the cool night air. It is a windy night, and I do not want her, or our son, to be cold. Legs heavy with sleep, I move quietly over to her chair. She must have been too exhausted to climb into bed. I bend down to the wooden basket that holds our blankets and quilts making a careful selection. One catches my eye quickly before the others. It was one Lily’s mother made as a wedding gift for us. It is rather Muggle-esque for my taste, but it has a sudden warmth to it.
I lay it on her and the baby, hoping to ward off some of the cold.. Lily doesn’t even stir as it touches her fair skin. I then pull over a stool from the dark corner of our bedroom. It’s odd, but I am not tired. It might be from sleep-filled nights before, or it just might be the thought of our son.
I honestly don’t know what we are going to name him. It might range from Stewart, my choice, or Harry, Lily’s choice. She also likes Lambert, Joshua, Connor, or we might even name him after my best mate, Padfoot. I’m sorry, I mean Sirius. The blanket slips as I think. When I reach to cover her back up, I pause. My son is right in front of me.
He is in the world. It is amazing to think off that. It’s awkward, I feel like I might embarrass myself right now. Funny, because he doesn’t know what I’m saying, but why not introduce myself.
“Hello, son. I don’t really know what to call you…”
James whiped sweat off of his brow. He would have to get used to it, because soon, he really would be having face-to-face discussions with him. “Do you mind if I call you Remus? It is a lot easier to say that. It’s like I’m talking to my best mate.
“I can’t control my excitement, really. I always try to act cool about you, around my friends, but I really just want to tell the world. I hope that you know the feeling someday. I hope that you get to do a lot more than that, actually. I want you to go to Hogwarts. It’s this amazing place for wiz-, well, you’ll find out eventually. I’m an Auror, you see. I fight evil in this world. I would rather not talk about it, but I would like you to know more about me.”
I sighed. This was getting easier, almost like a verbal diary. I can actually tell him my feelings.
“I wonder if you will look like me, or your mother. She is beautiful, you see, with red hair, and green eyes. I am just a boring old spiky-haired man. I have a few friends, too. My all time best one is Sirius Black, or Padfoot, we call him. It seems like we have known each other forever, when we only met at Hogwarts.
There is also Moony, or Remus Lupin. Promise you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to say?”
I chuckle to myself. Of course he won’t tell anyone. That’s silly. He isn’t even born yet. His mind can’t comprehend what I’m saying quite yet.
“He is a werewolf. We had the best times at Hogwarts sneaking around, keeping him company.
“Oh! I almost forgot. Peter is the other member of our group. He is okay, I mean, he doesn’t tell anyone anything we do, but I don’t know, he has never been my favourite. We call him Wormtail. Name suits him perfectly, I think.
“Well, son, I just wanted to say, in all of these useless words that I love you. If anything ever happened to you it would kill me. I would give myself for you. I hope you understand that. I am your dad, and I will always be there for you, no matter what.
“Your mother would do the same, too. We are your parents and we will do whatever we can to help you live a happy life. You will understand someday. Someday, sooner than it seems.”
I pat my son, my wife’s swollen belly, again, wiping one eye. I move back to my bed, and fall asleep. It is more peaceful now.
I Don't Really Know What To Say by bertiebott12
Chapter Notes: Thank you so much to my beta,Mistletoe! She is amazing! I do not own anything in the world of Harry Potter.
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