Severus had saved all his money, everything he could filch or earn or get off his parents. He had been saving it all for such a long time, almost a year now. He had meant to spend it all in January. January had seemed a special month, since it was her birthday then. His, too, but that was far less important. He hadn’t had enough then, though. So he had waited. After such a long time, it was strange how the last few months had still seemed like torture.
Yet finally, here he was, with all of twenty-five pounds (mostly in coins) in a little paper bag. It was so heavy that all the way to the store he had been afraid it might rip. Ever since he had gotten the idea of keeping his money for this, Severus had been hiding his savings in a little hole in the corner of the basement floor. He’d always had a certain affinity for this place below his house. It was dark and damp and his father was terrified of it.
Severus had received the last bit of money from a strange old lady by the street, and he resented it slightly, accepting charity from strangers. This was for a good cause, though, he reminded himself, and he stepped inside.
The street bustled on outside, yet there was a sort of calm within the shop. Everything was rather dark, and Severus could barely make the interior out during the first few moments. Though he had been here often, the musty store always thrilled Severus in a way he could never explain. Cobwebs decorated every surface, and priceless, dusty antiques lined ancient bookshelves. The small boy glanced around nervously, anxiously, excitedly. Coming from the loud streets of the city, the store seemed eerily silent, he noticed yet again. No one else was shopping there.
Severus boldly stepped forward and walked through the rows of merchandise. It was there, right there, with a little label bearing the price. For a moment, he just stood and looked at the prize, amazed that he finally could afford it. The beautiful colored glass caught the light filtering through a dingy window, reflecting a deep red onto the wooden shelves. Severus smiled, thinking how like her hair this pure brightness was, before finally grasping what he had come for in his small hand. He felt sad to see the light disappear as he held the precious object enclosed in his fist.
The sales clerk raised his eyebrows when Severus put the item on the counter and poured the contents of his makeshift wallet after it, but he accepted the money as Severus counted it out.
Smiling, Severus exited the store when he was finished, holding his precious object with care not to damage it. He couldn’t help it, he ran along the road as fast as he could.
When he reached Spinner’s End, his feet slowed down out of pure habit. Severus had never approached his house at a pace faster than this. When he reached the front door he had to swallow down his fear to enter. Severus was disgusted that he was afraid, but he couldn’t deny it. His parents had been fighting even worse than usual when he had left, and he didn’t know what state he would find them in.
As quietly as possible, Severus made to head for his room to retrieve the ribbon to tie around his lovely purchase. Unfortunately his father could detect the tiniest noise inside his home. Hearing footsteps behind him, Severus stopped dead in the middle of the living room. Sure enough, there loomed his father, huge and apparently still quite angry.
Severus clutched his purchase to his chest and hoped his father would let him go on. He was not in luck.
“What’s that, boy? What’s that you’re holding?” his father sneered.
Severus was shaking, but he didn’t want to show it. His father couldn’t take it away from him. He just couldn’t, not after all the trouble and all the saving.
“Show it to your Dad, Severus,” the large man demanded.
Defiantly, Severus didn’t turn it over.
“Severus,” the man’s malicious tone was suddenly horribly soft. “Are you a little girl? What’ve you got there that you won’t show your Dad? Are you scared, little girl? Are you a coward?”
“I’m not!” Severus squeaked, backing away. “It’s just nothing.”
“No son of mine will carry girly things around with him in my house! No son of mine will be seen like this. You’re a disgrace; you’re a coward.”
As his father rushed forward to seize Severus’s lovely item, Severus couldn’t help but make it worse.
“You’re only a Muggle! What can you do to me, anyway?” he laughed shakily.
There it lay, shattered in a million pieces, on the ground. Severus’s arm hurt from where his father had twisted this lovely “ broken! - thing out of it, but the pain didn’t even register. There it was, useless and ugly. Sliding down the wall of his room, with his arms around his bony legs, Severus cried.
Hours later, Severus approached the beautiful girl shyly. She was his best friend, and he loved her. For a second he just stood, watching her red hair swaying back and forth as she flew higher and higher on her swing. He was clutching a bunch of weeds in his hands, and the gift seemed so stupid now, not at all the right thing for an angel. Severus had been out all afternoon making this bouquet for her, but it was so ugly next to what he had intended to be presenting her with.
He stared at her, realizing that no one he had ever known had been so nice to him before. She was beautiful and good. Severus didn’t think in terms that might have been more fitting; to him she wasn’t yet radiant, gentle, precious, irreplaceable, like she would be in years to come. Though the feelings were the same, for today, she was simply beautiful and good. Just like a lovely flower. He spat into the grass in anger.
“Sev! Oh, those are pretty,” she called from across the yard, jumping off her swing to join him, and it didn’t seem to Severus as if she were lying.
He thrust the pitiful gift into her hands and turned around, ashamed that such a gracious girl even spent time with him, but unable to run away from this undeserved kindness.
“What is it? Sev, what’s wrong? This is so lovely, what’s happened…?” Lily inquired softly.
“I didn’t mean to give you those!” Severus burst out angrily, trying to tear the horrible present back out of her hands. “I bought you a nice one. I bought you a flower, a lily, made of glass, and the light was just like your hair and it was almost as beautiful as you are! And he destroyed it… Just give those back, Lily, and stop pretending.”
Lily stepped away from him, holding the flowers against her body. Her mouth was twisted into a forced and sympathetic smile, as she regarded her friend. Severus hated her sympathy, but he loved her for it anyway.
“Oh, Sev, but these are beautiful. You must’ve worked all day for these. I really like them…”
Without any further comment, Lily reached up and kissed Severus on the cheek. Both of them blushed and looked away, and Severus felt his hand come up and touch the hot place her lips had been.
He was sad and angry all at once, and for some reason it made him smile. Lily reached her hand out to him.
“Come and play! Soon we’ll both be at Hogwarts, won’t we, and then you’ll be far away from him. Tell me more about being a witch, Sev, tell me everything…”
Next to the bubbling sound of her curious voice and the airy grace of her outstretched arm, the glass-lily he had dreamed of giving her for such a long time seemed unimportant; it seemed ugly.