I can see him sitting there, that smirk on his face. He knows I’m stuck here with him until we reach school, and I can’t see a way out of it. Somebody else should have gotten that badge — Remus, perhaps, but James of all people. James Potter. The most immature, juvenile person that the world had ever seen. What could possibly have been going through Dumbledore’s mind?
James Potter. The most insolent of all the students, Head Boy. Of all people, why him? And why do I have to be stuck here with him? I have loads of other people to be talking to. Why do I have to be here? The new prefects should be here soon, and then I can leave. Please, please get here quickly.
Look at him, sitting there, haughty as a hippogriff. It’s ridiculous. James Potter. He thinks he’s so popular with the ladies, but of all people, he’s chosen me. He’s decided to shove himself down my throat, rather than any of the other woman fawning over him. I’m not pretty, I’m not beautiful. Go, James. Go find somebody else to bother.
Dumbledore always has his reasons, yes. But James Potter? James? The little boy. What is there of value in him?
Of course, Dumbledore has his reasons. There must be something in him.
Yes, I know he says he loves me. Why does he love me? What am I to him? I’m something he can’t have, and it’ll stay that way, I promise you. I’ll promise anyone!
Yes, James, I see you sitting there. I can see your untidy hair, and I can also see you running your fingers through it. You mess it up on purpose, but I’ve never seen you do it in front of anyone but me. There must be something about me because you can’t have me. I see you there with your eyes, your beautiful, beautiful eyes. I’ll never look into them with love, never. You can’t have me, James. You’re a stubborn, immature, little ...
Oh, Merlin, what am I saying? What have I done? I’ve denied it all these years ... I’ve seen you there, looking at me, never seeing you for what you are — a desperate, helpless, little boy. Oh, Merlin, save me from the trap that I’ve fallen into. James, James, I’ll hate you forever. I’ll hate you forever. I love you.
Yes, Lily, I know you’re watching me. I know you’re stuck here with me. You see the silver badge on my chest and you can’t believe it — to tell you the truth, neither can I. I couldn’t believe it when I got the letter, and then they told me who was my counterpart. Of course, Lily, you have always been my counterpart. You’ve always been in my heart.
I can see you sitting there, and I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that you’re here in the same train compartment as me. Yes, I know that you’re not here of your own will, but you will be soon. You’ll love me one day. I’ll make you.
You’re stubborn, Lily, and you tell me I can’t have you. I always get what I want, Lily, and I want you. Even more, I want you to be happy. Don’t you see? I know you’ll be happy with me. You’ll love me, and we will grow old together. Just give me a chance.
Yes, Lily, I’m looking at you. Don’t give me that look, I know you’re watching me out of the corner of your eye. I know everything about you, Lily; you intoxicate me. I can’t get enough of you, and this elusive behavior only doubles that obsession. Those eyes, Lily, those eyes. Those beautiful green eyes. And your hair that sweeps down over your forehead so casually. I don’t know how I’ve lived without you all these years. Give me a chance. Let me love you.
Oh, Merlin, Lily, let me love you! Let me show you how happy you can be! Let me take you in my arms and show you how much I love you! I know I can have any girl in the school, but they don’t matter to me — I want you, and you alone.
Oh, Merlin, Lily, can’t you see? You’ve captured my heart, and you’re holding it close. Wait, and you’ll find you’ve loved me longer than you know.
Oh, James. What have I done? I’ve rejected you for so long, and you only wanted me. Nothing along with me. Just me. Oh, how I’ve loved you, but I can’t tell you. Not yet. Not while everyone’s watching.
Oh, Lily, I can see it in your eyes. You love me, you really love me. All these years I’ve waited for you, and it’s finally paying off. Ah, Lily, how I long to hold you in my arms and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. How I want to tell you how I love, but I’ll save for a place more appropriate – where no one can see. This is our year, Lily, many more will follow. I love you.