Once classes began and the first years learned the routine of living at Hogwarts, Lillian found it easier to relax and enjoy her new home. She quickly made friends with two of her fellow Gryffindors, Rory Leighton and Simone Woodhill, who were also first years. They found a common interest in performing well in classes, and could most often be found sitting by the fire in the common room while studying.
On this particular night, not three weeks into the semester, the crowd in the common room was more rowdy than usual. The Quidditch players of the House were riling themselves up for the tryouts that were to take place later that evening.
“Are you really going to try out?” Jamie’s new friend, Daniel Barry, asked him. His eyes were eager and he was clearly dreaming of popularity by association.
“He’ll never make it,” added a third-year Beater named Ryan McClanahan. Ryan and Jamie had become friends easily, but he wasn’t about to let a first year show him up on the pitch.
Jamie strutted across to the other side of the common room to make sure Lillian could see and here the conversation going on around her. She rolled her eyes and looked back to her Beginning Potions book.
“Well you don’t have to be scared; I’m not going out for Beater. I’m going for Chaser,” Jamie said, puffing his chest and standing as tall as his small frame could stretch.
“That fast, are ya?” teased Ian Porter, the fastest Chaser the Gryffindor Quidditch team had ever known. He was a seventh year and also the team captain. “If you can catch me, I’ll consider giving you a look at the tryouts!”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Ian was off and running up the boys’ stairwell. Jamie had leapt over the couch where Lillian was sitting, never minding that her books and parchment sat on the cushion, and raced after the older boy. All that was heard from the common room were the yells and thundering footsteps of two inconsiderate Quidditch players.
They returned completely out of breath, with Jamie at a loss.
“Serves him right,” Lillian muttered to her friends. She had magically uncrumpled her papers but couldn’t forget how utterly insufferable Jamie was. “Show-offs ought to be shown their place.” Rory and Simone snickered in agreement.
“Looks like you’ll have to try again next year, mate!” cried Ryan, laughing with the rest of the team.
“Aw, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Ian said, patting a hand on his shoulder. “Hasn’t been a first year on the team since Harry Potter! Almost fifty years since. You’ll have better luck in a year or two, when you’ve had some experience.”
Jamie took all this well, considering his wounded pride, and answered with a reply showing no absence of confidence. “If Harry Potter could do it, then I sure as hell can! I’ll see you on the pitch,” he said determinedly.
The next thing she knew, Lillian saw Jamie standing over her.
“You’re in my light,” she said curtly.
“I’ll get out if you just do me one favor.”
“Pull your head out of your ass?”
Jamie continued, unfazed. “Come watch me at Quidditch tryouts tonight. For luck.”
She huffed and turned her eyebrow up at him, but she was taken aback by his captivating smile. Why should Jamie Novak suddenly care so much about having her watch his Quidditch tryouts? The boy who said she wasn’t even that pretty… The rude, arrogant, conceited boy who only lived to make himself look good.
“No thanks,” Lillian replied.
“Suit yourself,” Jamie answered, and walked away with heavy steps. That hadn’t gone as planned. “I’ll be down there in case you change your mind.”
Lillian ignored him and went right back to her Potions assignment. She knew Professor Valenti didn’t take lightly to slackers in her class (although Lillian had heard that she wasn’t as bad as some of Hogwarts past Potions Masters).
“Good choice,” same a soft, steady voice from behind her.
Lillian turned to find Severn sitting in a chair in the corner with his own Potions book open. He sat there in his black robes with his cheek-length black hair dangling in his face, blending into the shadows. She hadn’t noticed him at all.
“Oh, um…” But Lillian couldn’t think of anything to say, especially since the last thing she wanted to talk about was Jamie. “I see you’re doing Potions, too.”
“Finished, actually,” Severn replied shortly.
A minute passed when neither spoke, and the awkward tension in the room grew astronomically. So far they hadn’t found anything in common, and found it difficult to be real friends. They were just housemates.
Lillian gave him a brief but genuine smile before turning back to Rory and Simone. “I need to take a break,” she said, closing the heavy book and laying her quill on top.
“Are you done?” Simone asked her incredulously. “I knew you were good, but wow.”
“No, but I just need to get out for some fresh air “ ”
“Take a walk with me,” Severn offered.
She was surprised but not at all adverse to the idea. Maybe this would give them a chance to be friends…once they found something to talk about. He seemed like he could use a few friends in the world.
Though it was still September, the night air was growing chilly already. The stars above the castle sparkled brightly.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Lillian asked, attempting to make small talk as they walked the grounds.
“Yes,” Severn replied. “The first time I ever saw stars properly was our first night here. London isn’t exactly the place to go stargazing.”
This was the first time Lillian had heard him speak more than a few words together. “Oh, you’re from London!” she exclaimed, thankful that she now had something to talk to him about. “Which part?”
“The dodgy part. My mum’s dead and my dad has no clue how to be one.”
Lillian was stunned and stopped in her tracks. For Severn to open up so quickly and easily about the most awful things in his life was unexpected, to say the least. Furthermore she couldn’t help thinking she just shouldn’t have asked.
“That’s…awful. I’m really sorry,” she said, not knowing what else she could say. “You didn’t have to tell me that. I didn’t mean to “ ”
Severn had turned back to her and sat on the grass under a tree. Lillian sat beside him.
“It’s okay, I wanted to tell you. I sometimes feel like I already know you, even though that’s impossible,” he confessed. “I wanted you to know about me. You’re the only one who wants to know.”
Lillian searched his face but couldn’t read his expression in the dark. She found it hard to trust boys most of the time, but his voice sounded sincere.
“Then I’m the lucky one,” Lillian said. “My life isn’t so perfect, either, if you want to know the truth. It’s not my parents, though.”
“Something worse?” Severn asked.
“Maybe not worse, but sometimes it is unbearable…”
Lillian took a deep breath before continuing. Not even Snowy, the Maltese she’d had since it was a puppy, knew this secret.
“Ever since I can remember, I’ve felt like something was missing. Like I lost something, or forgot it, but I can never remember or find it. I have dreams about it, and I wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I have to go look for something. The problem is… I don’t know what I should be looking for. I know it must sound strange.”
She gave a nervous giggle and vowed to stop rambling.
“That’s not strange,” Severn answered. He wanted to tell her he’d had a feeling like that before, too. His object wasn’t lost or forgotten; what he was searching for had been taken from him.
“I’ve never told anybody, so please don’t…don’t say anything. I swear I’m not mad.”
Severn was intrigued at the thought that Lillian had never shared this secret with a single soul, and yet here she was confessing to an almost perfect stranger. How easy it had been for them to both open up to each other! It was as if their instincts had told them it was okay to trust, where trust was seldom given.
“It’s safe with me. Besides, who would I tell? I don’t have any friends,” Severn said sadly.
“Aren’t I your friend?”
The sad look in Lillian’s eyes reminded Severn of something that happened long ago “ something he wished he could forget. It was a memory almost like a dream. It didn’t seem real, but he knew it had happened.
“Well, yes… You’re my only friend. My best friend.”
As the two new friends headed back to the castle, Lillian spotted the lights glowing on the Quidditch pitch and wondered how Jamie was doing in his tryouts.
“What is it?” Severn asked.
“Nothing.”
The lights were out in the common room except for the flickering glow of the dying fire. Lillian alone was awake as she tried desperately to keep her eyes open to finish her homework. Several times she nodded off and traced her quill and ink unknowingly across the parchment.
Just as her eyes were closing, Lillian saw a disfigured shadow thrown against the stone tower wall. She turned to look and found the person she least wanted to see.
“It’s past one o’clock,” Jamie whispered, stating the obvious. “Why aren’t you in bed?”
“Potions. What’s your excuse?” Lillian asked. She noticed a small drool spot on her parchment and hid it quickly with her hand.
“I just couldn’t sleep.”
“So you’ve come to annoy me since no one else is awake?”
Jamie paid no attention to her comment. He plopped down on the couch next to her and examined her paper.
“Wow… Going at this rate you’ll be up all night! At least now you have some company.”
Lillian sighed quietly and turned back to her paper. “If you keep distracting me, I’ll never get anything done. I don’t want company, thank you.”
“But I do.”
For the first time since she’d known him, Jamie actually appeared to be upset. Something hadn’t gone his way and now he’d let his guard down. Lillian closed her book reluctantly and waited for him to speak.
After a few minutes of fighting with himself, Jamie still couldn’t muster up the courage to tell the girl he was trying to impress that he didn’t make the team. Of course she’d find out the news the next morning when the roster was posted. Of course she would know that he wasn’t as good as he led people to believe. But if she found out that way, he could always joke his way out of it, or have a play fight with one of the team members. Telling her now would mean admitting defeat, the sadness and disappointment of it all. Jamie had a reputation to uphold.
“Fine, then stay if you like,” Lillian finally told him.
She opened her book again and didn’t stop working until it was finished. Just after two a.m., Lillian went up to the girls’ dormitory and left Jamie asleep on the couch.