The winter holidays passed much too slowly for Lillian’s liking. She had received several letters from Severn over those two weeks, detailing all the dramatic happenings back at Hogwarts, and was anxious to get back to see him.
The one thing Severn hadn’t mentioned to his best friend was his swollen lip, compliments of Jamie’s knuckles. It had returned to normal and showed virtually no signs of the encounter, so Lillian would never know the difference.
It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to him then, when Lillian was more receptive to Jamie’s advances after the new term had begun. Severn’s first letter about the honest confession Jamie had made to a person he didn’t even like made her reevaluate her opinions and see Jamie in a new light. Lillian had even gone as far as to smile at him in the corridors when he said hello.
Severn realized that Lillian wouldn’t fawn over him since she didn’t even know he had been injured, but he didn’t count on Lillian changing her attitude toward Jamie. Worst of all he couldn’t tell her why he was still avoiding Jamie.
“Are you okay?” Lillian asked him one afternoon after Divination.
Severn barely had time to answer before she added, “You seem upset.”
“I’m not upset,” he answered untruthfully, not even meeting her eyes.
He couldn’t tell her it was because Jamie stared at her all through their last lesson. He couldn’t tell her he was jealous, that he wished she would write Jamie off completely. After all, they were supposedly on their way to a new friendship.
Lillian watched ahead of her as Jamie and Daniel turned the corner on the way to Transfiguration. “He’s not that bad, you know. You said yourself there’s hope for him.”
When had he said that? Of course, the letter. She must have memorized it…but why? Why did she care so much whether there was hope for Jamie or not?
Severn’s stomach churned and he wanted to scream, to shout the truth so that it rang out through every room and corridor of the stone castle. He punched me! Just after I thought he might change! But it was too late to say it now. By saving his pride for Lillian, he had opened a gateway for Jamie. His lying by omission had spiraled out of control.
Severn never did tell Lillian the truth about the night he wrote the letters. He had wanted her to see for herself what Jamie was like, so that it would be her decision alone when she rejected him in favor of Severn. But his plan had failed. Although Jamie might have been self-centered and pretentious, he was not mean-spirited (as far as Lillian knew). Lillian saw past Jamie’s cocky attitude and, as the years went on, she grew more tolerant of him.
In their third year, Jamie had earned a spot on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, so naturally Lillian cheered for him at the matches. They also opted to continue many of the same classes into N.E.W.T. Level. Much to Severn’s displeasure, Lillian often invited Jamie into their late night study groups. She had given up on making heads or tails of their innate dislike for each other and forced them to deal with their contempt at least some of the time.
Severn had remained Lillian’s most trusted friend, yet he still felt like she was slipping away from him. In his mind Jamie was invading his most sacred friendship with Lillian and threatening to elbow him out. And he had no idea how to fix it. Unlike Jamie, Severn didn’t have the talent to play Quidditch or the gumption to entertain an audience of classmates. He didn’t have the charm to flatter a girl or the bravado to pursue her. It seemed Jamie had it all. He was an unstoppable force and would take Lillian unless something was done.
He knew it was possible. Severn had a feeling in his bones that it was a likelihood “ nay a certainty “ that Jamie would win in the end unless he acted first.
In the fall semester of their seventh year, Severn had a revelation. It came one evening that started out as any other: Wizard’s Chess with Lillian as they wound down after a long day of demanding classes. Everyone was in high spirits after the recent defeat of Slytherin’s Quidditch team, especially the team captain, Jamie Novak.
“Hey Lillian, you know next weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend,” Jamie told her matter-of-factly.
“Ah. I didn’t realize,” she answered, her voice monotone and emotionless as she planned her next move on the chessboard.
“Well, I was wondering if you’d like to go with me to celebrate the win.”
The room was still as Jamie held his breath, awaiting her answer.
“Not this time, Jamie. Severn and I have plans. Thanks though.”
Lillian didn’t say it rudely, just directly. She hadn’t meant to be hurtful or inconsiderate of his feelings. It was just the truth.
“Whoa buddy, not another rejection!” came Daniel’s voice from the opposite couch. “Maybe it’s time you move on. She’s had six years to say yes and she hasn’t done it yet. You know Simone is looking for a date, you might have a better chance with her.”
At that point Severn had completely tuned out. His mind focused on that one simple statement: “She’s had six years to say yes and she hasn’t done it yet.” Why hadn’t she said yes? If Jamie was so outgoing and funny… If Jamie was so athletic and popular…and moving in on his best friend.
There was a reason she hadn’t said yes…yet. Maybe she hadn’t let Jamie take his spot in her heart. Severn needed to act.
Mondays began with History of Magic. Lillian and Severn entered the classroom to find Jamie and Daniel in their usual seats, right in front of them. Today was the same as it had been for the last month “ Lillian greeted them both, and Severn nodded to Daniel. Professor Finklestein quickly interrupted the unspoken tension between Severn and Jamie.
“History of Magic,” she began, “is as much the study of the magicians as it is the actual magic. Witches and wizards have been making contributions to magic for thousands of years, and a select number of them will be the focus of our upcoming lessons.”
Suppressed groans echoed throughout the class.
Professor Finklestein continued talking above her students. “I expect these projects to meet rigorous standards, which we will outline now.”
“Excuse me, Professor?” Jamie’s hand was raised and he sat perfectly upright, looking like a charming and well-behaved pupil. “I wonder if we might take the opportunity to work with a partner on this project, so to better meet the rigorous standards you require?”
He glanced over his shoulder and smiled at Lillian as he winked at her.
“Out of the question. As always, you’ll do well to remember that I am the professor and I make the rules. If you are not capable of completing a simple project on your own, then I question whether your brainpower is suited to N.E.W.T. Level History of Magic,” Professor Finklestein admonished.
Severn snickered as Jamie’s shoulders slumped and looked physically smaller than he had in years. Lillian, on the other hand, watched him with pity. Though he deserved being put in his place for his constant asinine comments, she almost felt sorry for him.
The class was silent as they copied a list of guidelines for the research project, including the witch or wizard’s early life, education, and contributions to magic and the modern day. Eyes glazed over as the outline grew longer and longer. Students were only engaged at the end of the lesson, when they were instructed to take a folded piece of parchment from a bowl that floated past their desks. As they opened the parchment, names appeared across the paper as if written by a quill pen at that very second.
Names were being said out loud around the room as students opened their parchments. Such witches and wizards as “Albus Dumbledore,” “Nicholas Flamel,” “Paracelsus,” “Queen Maeve,” and “Harry Potter,” had already been chosen by the time the bowl came around to their side of the room.
Lillian drew first and watched as the name “Severus Snape” appeared on her parchment. Interesting, she thought. That name resonated in her mind and clenched at her heart.
Next to her Severn opened his own parchment and read aloud “Remus Lupin.” He had heard the name before, in association to the Harry Potter saga, but had no real reason to know his life story before. He didn’t notice Jamie’s ears perk up at the sound of that familiar name.
Jamie turned around so quickly that he nearly fell off his stool. He tried not to sound too interested, but his expression gave him away.
“Say, Severn?” Jamie began in his nicest tone of voice. “Mind switching me? This wizard I’ve got sounds like he’s more your type anyway. Gorgovitch sounds pretty strange, just like you.”
Without waiting for an answer, Jamie was already calling out to Professor Finklestein.
“Hey, Professor! Do you mind if Jamie and I switch wizards? We’ve already agreed “ ”
Professor Finklestein, not even deeming Jamie’s question worthy of a response, cast a Silencing Charm on him that lasted the entire rest of the class period.
The next class meeting was held in the library, a “work day” as Professor Finklestein had called it. Each student was given strict instructions to work silently and diligently, and above all, make some progress on the research.
Lillian had no luck in the library’s Biography and Autobiography section, so she made her way to the area designated for the Hogwarts founders, alumni and affiliates. She didn’t know how it was possible, but somehow Lillian knew that Severus Snape had been a student at Hogwarts.
She plopped down a stack of books on a long wooden table and began to flip through the pages. The annuals weren’t much help, however. Except for showing a picture of Severus Snape for each year he attended Hogwarts, the books told her nothing. He didn’t belong to any organizations or win any awards. Severus Snape was an average student on paper; he blended in and got lost in the crowd.
But that face… His expression resembled her best friend’s when he was sulky. The similarity was undeniable. There had to be a reason why this man was so famous, but so far nothing out of the ordinary.
Lillian had finished looking through the annuals and was just opening another to look busy when Severn sat down beside her with his own stack.
“Any luck?” he asked.
“Nothing except old school pictures. Time to change tactics. Looks like you found a lot.”
Severn rolled his eyes. “Tell me about it! This Lupin guy must have been hot stuff to have all these books. Two of them are biographies, and the others are anthologies of wizards who made the most impact and so on. It’ll take me forever to get through all of this!”
Lillian thumbed through the pages of Severus Snape’s fourth year annual, absent-mindedly looking at names and pictures of his classmates. “Wait, did you say Lupin? As in Remus Lupin?”
Severn confirmed with a nod.
“What year did he start Hogwarts?”
A few seconds of searching through one of the biographies found that Remus Lupin had not only attended Hogwarts at the same time with Severus Snape, but that they had actually been in the same year. Lillian slid the annual over to Severn and pointed at Remus Lupin’s fourth year self.
“Well that must have been a good year for talented students,” Severn said. “Maybe they were friends.”
Lillian threw him a skeptical look. “I highly doubt that. Look at Snape’s pictures. He doesn’t look very friendly at all.”
“Maybe he was having a bad day.“ He paused as Lillian showed him Severus’s pictures from the other annuals. “Every year on picture day.”
“Severn,” Lillian said seriously. “Look at the pictures. Look closely. Do you notice anything peculiar about this guy?”
Severn studied each picture in chronological order, unable to hide his bewildered expression. “So he looks a little like me. They say everyone has a twin somewhere, right?”
Lillian had heard that expression but wasn’t so sure. “Even your names are close. I just thought you might be related. Too weird to be a coincidence, right?”
He wanted to deny it. It was crazy that Severn Elliott could be related to someone apparently so instrumental to the history of magic, especially given his family’s past…well, what he knew of it. His mother hadn’t brought her heritage with her when she immigrated to England.
“Can’t be. My surname is different, and Mum left all her family in Ireland,” Severn said. “I’ve never even met them.”
Lillian was still not completely convinced. There was something oddly familiar about Severus Snape, something she felt she ought to know.
“That’s all I can do for now I guess,” Lillian said defeated. The pile of annuals had given her no information; quite the opposite, they only left her with more questions. Who was Severus Snape?
That night in the boys’ dormitory, Severn continued his research of Remus Lupin. So far he had learned that Lupin went to school with Severus Snape, was bitten by Fenrir Greyback and suffered the torments of being a werewolf, and was later a professor at Hogwarts. Despite his original dislike for Lupin (though Severn knew not where his aversion came from), he was beginning to like Remus Lupin.
Just as Severn began the chapter about Lupin’s life as a member of the Order of the Phoenix, Jamie disturbed the quiet of the room. He hadn’t said anything out loud “ just sat on his bed staring at Severn’s book, waiting for him to speak.
“What are you looking at?”
The only words these two boys had exchanged since the winter holidays of their first year had been ones of anger, jealousy, or snide and insulting remarks. Severn had no reason to suspect things would change now.
Jamie didn’t fight back, but answered simply. “Your book. Remus Lupin?”
“And?” Severn asked. He hadn’t even looked up from the page.
“Nothing.”
Jamie changed his mind. He couldn’t talk to Severn about this, not in a million years.
He feigned napping while waiting for Severn to put the book away and go to sleep. It was after midnight when Severn’s light went out. Jamie allowed twenty minutes to pass to make sure Severn was asleep before slipping the book out of Severn’s trunk and tiptoeing down the spiral staircase. This was his chance to find out about the wizard that caused such familiar shadows of memory.
He flipped through the pages, only briefly skimming the bits about Lupin’s early life, and focused on his adolescence and young adulthood. He learned that the boy had attended Hogwarts and made decent grades.
A portion of the book was devoted to Lupin’s personal life in and outside the walls of Hogwarts, including the relationships with his closest friends. Lupin was quoted as saying that James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew were the “best mates” any boy could have ever wished for. He especially missed his friend James terribly since his death in fighting He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
A switch had clicked in Jamie’s brain. That name “ James Potter. It was even more meaningful than Remus Lupin, but why? He felt intensely close to these people but couldn’t reconcile the fact that he had never met them. Indeed Lupin had been dead for over forty-five years, and James Potter even longer than that. It just didn’t make sense.
Jamie read on, hoping to learn more.
“It was awful. James was so young,” the book quoted Lupin. “And he had left behind his wife and one-year-old son, Harry, whom we all know grew up to defeat the most evil wizard of all time. James would have loved to have been a part of Harry’s life.”
Jamie’s heart skipped a couple of beats and then felt like it was racing to catch up.
James Potter…Harry Potter…Remus Lupin… All those names swirled around in his head like a maniacal tornado, preventing him from grasping any meaning or understanding of his connection with them. His frustration led him to grunt in anger.
“Would you mind being more considerate of others over there?” a voice said testily. “Some people are trying to study for the Transfiguration exam tomorrow.”
It came from a far corner of the common room. Even though he couldn’t see her face in the dimly lit area, he knew the voice belonged to Lillian.
“Sorry, I…”
Jamie looked down at the book and tried to come up with any excuse for his behavior that didn’t involve making his true love think he was mad. Nothing came to him, so he simply stopped talking.
Suddenly a shadow appeared over him as Lillian moved closer to his chair.
“You’re having trouble studying, too, I take it?”
This was Jamie’s chance to spend more quality time with Lillian, yet he was about to blow it by telling her the truth.
“Not exactly. I don’t really know what I’m doing, to be honest.”
He paused, wondering if he should take the risk to confide in Lillian. Ever since I heard this guy’s name “ Remus Lupin “ I haven’t been able to think of anything else other than finding out who he is,” Jamie admitted in one long breath.
“Why do you care? He isn’t even your research topic.”
“Because I know him,” Jamie replied seriously. “At least I feel like I do. Or I should. I don’t know how I know him, but I do. It’s driving me crazy because I don’t know how or why I feel so close to this guy.”
Jamie turned the book so Lillian could read the section about Lupin’s friends. He couldn’t read her expression, but at least she wasn’t laughing at him.
“And this one most of all,” I said, pointing to James Potter’s name. “I’ve never even heard of him until about ten minutes ago, but I know him.”
He sighed deeply and ran his hands through his black hair, tempted to try to pull it out lock by lock. This was too much for a kid to handle so late at night.
“James Potter? Harry Potter’s father? How in the world would you know him?” Lillian asked, growing more suspicious of Jamie by the minute.
She had begun to trust him more over the years, but she still never vested much in his reliability and honesty. There was something about him that always made her uncomfortable around him.
When Jamie couldn’t explain any of her questions, she asked another.
“And anyway, where did you get this book? I though Severn had checked it out from the library.”
“I borrowed it, okay?” Jamie snapped. “And I’m going to put it right back where I found it after I’m done reading. Boy, Severn sure has it made with you always there to be his mother.”
Lillian fumed. “Calm down. I was only asking,” she said as evenly as she could. “And I am not Severn’s mother!”
Jamie watched Lillian storm away, her red hair swishing behind her, as she headed towards the girls’ dormitory.
“I thought you were studying,” Jamie called after her.
“I’m finished. Goodnight,” she answered curtly.
But Jamie did not have a good night. In fact, he only slept a few hours, and those were interrupted by dreams of a past he never knew existed. He saw broken images of James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. He felt the bond between the boys, the strength of their friendship. He saw a girl with red hair more beautiful than any he had ever laid eyes on, and a greasy-haired boy whom he despised simply for being close to her.
All of this Jamie dreamed while looking through James Potter’s eyes.