The Sorting

At Hogsmeade station, students poured out of the train, and first-years were separated from the older students by an enormous bearded man looming over them all on the platform.

“First-years, this way!” he bellowed. “All first-years, follow me...there you go, step on over 'ere! You too, young lady!” The girl with the Muggle parents whom Violet had seen at King's Cross station was staring at the huge man, terrified.

“That's just Hagrid,” said Teddy, going over to her. “Don't be afraid of him, he wouldn't hurt a fly.”

She looked at Teddy, wide-eyed, and then allowed him to lead her by the hand over to the queue of first-years standing before the giant groundskeeper.

“Well, she won't be a Gryffindor,” Violet muttered to Teddy.

He frowned at her. “Anyone can get frightened.”

Violet sniffed, and then the line moved forward.

Many of the first-years knew what to expect. There were small boats waiting for them on the shore of a large lake, across which they got their first look at Hogwarts Castle. The Muggle-born girl was not the only first-year to take in a deep breath at the sight. Violet looked impassive, but Kai and Dewey both stared in awe.

Teddy, however, was suddenly overcome with a deep sense of foreboding, and he stayed where he was for a moment when the other first-years began moving towards their boats.

“What's wrong?” Violet asked, frowning at him.

He shook his head. “Nothing,” he said, and then told himself, You want to be a Gryffindor, don't you? and shuffled forward.

He and Violet took one boat, and then, when they saw the frightened Muggle-born girl was looking at the motorless, oarless, pilotless craft with misgivings, Teddy waved to her. “Come on,” he said. “The boat's big enough for three.”

Hesitantly, she stepped off the shore into the boat, while Teddy helped her keep her balance until she sat down. Violet pressed her lips together, but said nothing.

“Thanks,” she said, in a slightly breathless voice. “My name's Chloe.”

“Teddy,” he said. “And this is Violet.”

Violet nodded. She noticed that though Chloe had changed into her school robes like everyone else, she was still wearing the high-heeled boots she'd had on at King's Cross station, and her long, wavy blonde hair had obviously been given a great deal of attention by a Muggle hair stylist. She even seemed to be wearing makeup, and now she was leaning towards Teddy and asking him questions about the castle and the lake, in that breathless voice of hers. She gasped and clutched his arm when the boat began moving by itself.

Dewey and Kai had the next boat over to themselves. Kai was leaning over the edge to look into the water.

“What're you doing?” Dewey asked.

“I heard there are mermaids and grindylows and a giant squid down there,” said Kai. “I want to see them.”

“You lean much further and you may be seeing 'em up closer than you'd like.”

Kai grinned. “Did you know during the last Triwizard Tournament, almost fifteen years ago, I guess, part of it was down there? I know, 'cause my sister was tied to a rock underwater, with a spell cast on her so she wouldn't drown, and the champion had to.... had to...” His voice trailed off as he looked at Dewey.

“Oh,” he said.

He'd never felt more stupid. For a moment, he actually thought about jumping into the lake. “I'm sorry, Dewey. I didn't.... I...”

“It's all right,” Dewey said. “So, your sister was the girl my brother was dating, then, before he...?”

Kai nodded. “I think she really liked him, too,” he said quietly. “To this day, she won't talk about him, or much of anything that happened.”

“It must have been pretty awful for her,” Dewey said, looking across the water at the approaching castle. Kai was silent until they reached the other side.

Hagrid had already disembarked and was standing there waiting for them. Dewey wondered idly if all the boats were enchanted to handle someone Hagrid's size, or if he needed a special one. But then they were queuing up again to file into Hogwarts Castle.

They reached a large stone entrance blocked by a metal grate, which rose with a clatter as they approached. Kai and Dewey had rejoined Teddy and Violet. Kai nudged Dewey and winked, tilting his head towards the pretty blonde girl who was still holding onto Teddy's arm. Dewey ran his hand over his mouth as if to wipe something off his lip, to conceal a smile, and then caught the icy stare Violet was giving the girl, unnoticed by anyone else.

Brr! he thought.

“Welcome to Hogwarts!” boomed a jovial voice, and everyone's attention was turned to the front again. There was now another man standing next to Hagrid, a very short, squat man, barely coming up past Hagrid's knees. He had a bald head and a bushy white walrus mustache. His enormous belly was straining against the waistcoat he wore beneath a set of formal green and silver robes. “Welcome, one and all! I'm Professor Slughorn, and I have the honor of being Deputy Headmaster, which means it's my job to explain the sorting process that you are about to undergo.” He beamed at the eager, anxious young faces turned towards him, his eyes scanning the first-years as if looking for something in particular in each one of them.

“Now,” he continued, “just inside, up these stairs, is the Great Hall, where a fine banquet is awaiting you, along with the rest of your fellow students. Before you sit down to eat, though, you'll be sorted into one of four houses, the house with which you'll dine, study, sleep, and live for your entire time here at Hogwarts. Your house is like your family while you're here at school. Think of your fellow Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, or Slytherins as your support network. Do everything you can to help your house succeed, and your house will do the same for you!” He gave them a genial smile. “And, by the by, I am not only Deputy Headmaster, but the Head of Slytherin, so those of you fortunate enough to possess the qualities most admired by our noble house, I will be seeing much more of you!”

Teddy heard one of the other boys behind him snort, “What qualities? Lying, backstabbing, being willing to sell your own mother for a Sickle?” Several others murmured agreement.

Slughorn, unaware of the muttering in the rear, clapped his hands. “Well, no more dilly dallying, let's get on with it, shall we? The sooner we get you all sorted, the sooner we all get to eat!” He smacked his lips. The children proceeded up into the Great Hall, following the rotund Deputy Headmaster, who waddled up the stairs with surprising speed.

“Bet the only other time he's ever moved that fast is when he saw a Dark Mark,” muttered the same boy who'd spoken earlier.

“What's a Dark Mark?” Chloe whispered to Teddy.

Teddy glanced sideways, at Violet, who was behaving as if she hadn't heard.

“Why don't you stow it?” he snapped over his shoulder. “You could wind up in Slytherin, for all you know!”

The boy he was addressing stared at him, then sneered. “I'd rather drink poison!”

Any urge to reply died as they entered the Great Hall. It was lit by thousands of candles, magically suspended in the air. The first-years marched in, looking around nervously as the eyes of the already-seated second- through seventh-years all fell upon them, along with those of the teachers seated at the high table in front. There were four long tables stretched along the length of the immense hall; each had a banner suspended above it displaying the colors of one of the four houses. The first-years came to a staggered halt at the raised platform on which the faculty table was located, and waited anxiously.

Looking around the Great Hall, Teddy was caught off-guard as something other than awe and wonder seized hold of him. The sense of foreboding that had passed over him on the lake was now back, stronger than ever. He was pale, he had difficulty swallowing, and he was uncomfortably aware that his hands were feeling clammy. Worse, he could feel his scalp itching, which meant his hair was probably rearranging itself and possibly changing color. He took several deep breaths, willing it to pass, and praying that neither Chloe nor Violet noticed.

My parents died here, he thought.

“Would you be so kind, Sahir?” Slughorn said. A tall, thin, dark-skinned wizard strode over, bearing a four-legged stool and a large, pointed wizard's hat. He set the stool down, and then handed the hat to Slughorn, who held it up for all to see, and then placed it on the stool.

Most of the first-years had heard about the Sorting Hat, but there were obviously a few who had not, such as Chloe, who was staring at the hat in befuddlement. It was slumped on the stool, motionless.

Everyone waited expectantly. After nearly a minute, everyone in the Hall was staring at the hat, when it suddenly straightened up, and a tear just above its ancient, frayed brim opened wide. Chloe gasped again.

“Well?” the hat demanded. “What are you waiting for? Who's first?”

A murmur went through the Great Hall. The teachers all looked at each other. Even the first-years were muttering.

“What's wrong?” whispered Kai, to Dewey.

“Not sure,” replied Dewey.

Teddy frowned, trying to remember what Harry had told him about the sorting. Didn't he mention that the Sorting Ceremony traditionally began with...?

“Err,” Slughorn harrumphed, looking at the hat. “Aren't you going to... sing?”

The hat didn't really have a face, but its stained and weathered exterior was remarkably expressive as it scrunched up and twisted around. It gave an uncanny impression of turning up its nose, for an object that didn't have one.

“Not...yet,” said the Sorting Hat.

This set off a storm of whispers and mutters throughout the Hall. Even the teachers looked shocked. Clearly this was unexpected behavior from the hat.

Professor Slughorn opened his mouth, nonplussed, and then closed it. He cleared his throat, glanced over his shoulder at the teachers' table, and then turned towards the wide-eyed first-years.

“Ahem. All right then. Ah, the list, Sahir?” The taller man handed Slughorn a roll of parchment.

“When I call your name, you will come forward and sit on the stool,” said Slughorn, as the tall man picked up the hat again. “Professor Rai will then place the Sorting Hat on your head, and it will announce your new house.” After one more puzzled look at the hat, Slughorn read the first name: “Albus Alderton.”

This turned out to be the boy who'd been muttering the imprecations against Slytherins. He walked to the stool and sat down, and Rai put the Sorting Hat on his head.

“Gryffindor!” the hat snapped immediately. Alderton's face broke into a grin, as the students at the Gryffindor table cheered. He hopped off the stool, barely waiting long enough for Rai to snatch the hat back off his head, and hurried to take a seat with the rest of his house.

As the next few students took their turns, the hat's sorting seemed almost perfunctory; it snapped a name as soon as it was placed on the child's head, and its tone remained what could only be described as “snippy.” Professor Slughorn would occasionally exchange a few words with students whose family names he recognized; these he spoke to warmly, while the others received only a polite nod as they took their seat on the stool.

Mercy Burbage went to Hufflepuff, Alfred Cattermole went to Gryffindor, Decima Caul went to Slytherin, and then Professor Slughorn called, “Kai Chang!”

Kai squared his shoulders and marched up to the stool, giving Professor Slughorn an uneasy smile. Slughorn winked back at him. “Would you be related to Cho Chang?” he asked.

“Yes, sir. She's my sister,” Kai said.

“Your sister – really? Quite an age difference between you, isn't there?” Slughorn chuckled. “But she's had a brilliant career, hasn't she? Must be expecting great things from you!”

“I suppose so, sir.” Kai nodded uncomfortably.

“Well, let's see what the hat says,” Slughorn said, as Rai placed it on his head.

Kai sat very still as the Sorting Hat settled around his head. And unlike all the children who'd gone before him, it didn't immediately call out a house name.

“Got mixed feelings, do we?” he heard the hat say. “Got lots of thoughts bouncing around in that head of yours! Oh, you're a thinker, all right. But you also want to be doer, don't you?”

“Y – yes?” Kai murmured, wondering if anyone else could hear the hat speaking to him.

“Well, we wouldn't want to let a mind like that go to waste, now would we?” And then the hat said out loud: “Ravenclaw!”

Not quite sure whether he was relieved or disappointed, Kai slid off the stool and proceeded to the Ravenclaw table.

Dewey was only a few names down the list from Kai. Slughorn didn't say anything to him as he took his place, though he thought he caught the Deputy Headmaster giving him a knowing look, tinged with pity, just for a second.

Once again, the hat paused rather than immediately calling out a house.

“I remember your brother,” it said slowly.

This was not at all what Dewey had been expecting, and he said nothing.

“I remember every student on whose head I've ever sat,” the hat continued. “Some of them have gone on to do great things. Others have gone on to do terrible things. And then there are those who never got the chance to do either.” The hat actually sounded sad.

Dewey had never thought about that – what it must be like for the hat to know that it had sorted Voldemort and his followers, along with their victims. To his surprise, Dewey was suddenly the one who felt sorry for the Sorting Hat.

“I can see what stuff you're made of, but not what you'll do with it,” the hat whispered. “That's up to you.” And then it proclaimed: “Hufflepuff!”

Dewey's mind was still on the hat's private words to him, so the all-important decision that he had been awaiting was almost anti-climactic. Thank you, he thought, just before Professor Rai removed the hat from his head. He wasn't really thanking the hat for assigning him to Hufflepuff; he just thought it must have a hard job that wasn't always appreciated.

Professor Slughorn continued down his list, and then he called out, “Chloe Grey!”

Chloe gave Teddy a nervous smile. “I hope we wind up in the same house!” she whispered. Teddy felt his face burning a little, as she strode across the platform and perched on the stool with her hands in her lap. He and Violet both watched as the hat sat on her head for several seconds.

Teddy was no less surprised than Violet when the hat said, “Gryffindor!” With a pleased smile, Chloe bounced off the stool and hurried over to the Gryffindor table, where several boys were making room for her.

There were two more Gryffindors, four Hufflepuffs, two Ravenclaws, and two Slytherins before Slughorn reached the end of the 'L's and said, “Theodore Lupin!”

Teddy glanced at Violet, and gave her a smile. She responded only by dipping her chin, ever so slightly, and then watched silently as Teddy sat up on the stool.

“Teddy Lupin,” said Professor Slughorn slowly. “You know, I'm a great friend of your godfather. How is Harry doing nowadays?”

“He's doing well, sir,” Teddy said politely. He had heard of Professor Slughorn too. He wasn't entirely sure that Harry would agree that “great friend” was an accurate description of their relationship, but he knew better than to contradict the man.

“Glad to hear it!” Slughorn said cheerfully. “You must tell him to come by for a visit one of these days. And for that matter, why don't you stop by my office some time, just to chat?”

“Yes, sir,” replied Teddy, not sure what to make of that. Then Rai put the Sorting Hat on his head. He was tempted to close his eyes, but forced himself to look calm and unworried, with the attention of everyone in the Great Hall upon him. He was very conscious of Chloe watching him from the Gryffindor table.

“Teddy Lupin,” said the hat slowly, aloud. “Well, I suppose we know where you belong!”

“I suppose so,” he replied, trying to sound confident.

“Are you sure?” it whispered suddenly, and Teddy was certain this was not being heard by anyone else. He swallowed.

“Why wouldn't I be?” he whispered back.

“Well, if you're sure!” retorted the hat, with an unexpected edge in its voice. Then it said: “Gryffindor!”

All the Gryffindors were cheering, and Chloe was clapping her heads together in delight, giving him a big smile that made him feel funny inside. She scooted over on the bench and waved him over enthusiastically. He knew he should have been feeling proud and relieved and excited, but as he walked to the Gryffindor table and joined Chloe, he thought he had never felt less like a Gryffindor, and he didn't know why.

The sorting continued. There were two McCormacks, a brother and sister who appeared to be twins, and both looked more than a little distraught when he went to Ravenclaw and she went to Gryffindor. Geoffrey Montague went to Slytherin, Sung-Hee Moon went to Hufflepuff (and for a moment, had an obvious look of disappointment on her face), and so on, through the 'N's and 'O's, until Slughorn came to: “Violet Parkinson!”

The diminutive girl stepped forward, her bearing straight and her demeanor that of one who was utterly unaffected by anything going on around her.

Professor Slughorn paused, just before she climbed up onto the stool.

“Miss Parkinson, according to this,” he peered at the parchment in his hands, “your eleventh birthday isn't actually until October. Is that correct?”

“Yes, sir,” she replied quietly.

“Hogwarts is normally quite strict about admitting students only after their eleventh birthday,” the Deputy Headmaster said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, sir. But when your father is very influential with the Board of Governors, and your mother has her heart set on vacationing in the Caribbean this fall, it turns out that it's possible for an exception to be made,” Violet replied, in a perfectly dry tone.

“I see,” Slughorn said slowly. Both his eyebrows were raised now, and there was a rather cunning gleam in his eyes. “Well, have a seat, Miss Parkinson, have a seat!”

She heard some of the students in the hall snicker as she had to brace her hands on the stool behind her and then take a little leap to get up onto it. She ignored them. Then her head almost disappeared beneath the Sorting Hat, but at least that muffled the sound of suppressed laughter.

“Well, well, well,” drawled the Sorting Hat.

Well? she thought back, impatiently. Get on with it.

“In a hurry, are we?” it demanded. “Or do you think this is just a formality?”

Under the hat, she made a little frown. “I know where I belong,” she murmured.

“Do you? Well, I certainly wouldn't want to disappoint you.”

Violet had not been expecting sarcasm from the Sorting Hat. She was still frowning when it shouted aloud: “Slytherin!” and Professor Rai took it off her head.

“I couldn't be more pleased, Miss Parkinson!” Slughorn said happily. “Welcome to Slytherin!”

The Slytherins were cheering, and as when other Slytherins had been sorted, there were muted hisses and boos coming from the other tables, despite scowls from the teachers. Violet's expression returned to indifference, as she slid gracefully off the stool and walked to the Slytherin table, without even glancing at Kai, at the Ravenclaw table, or Dewey, at the Hufflepuff table, or Teddy, with the Gryffindors.

The sorting continued until the last first-year, Gilbert Zirkle, was added to Ravenclaw. Everyone looked relieved. Professor Rai reached for the stool with one hand, while still holding the Sorting Hat in the other, and it suddenly exclaimed, “I'm not done yet!”

Rai blinked, and looked down at the hat. He and Slughorn exchanged glances. Slughorn licked his lips, and nodded towards the stool. The taller professor carefully set the hat down again.

The Great Hall was completely silent now, and everyone's eyes were once more fixed on the hat. It tilted slightly to the right, rotated slowly around, as if surveying the Hall with its nonexistent eyes, and then straightened up. It shifted a bit, and then its 'mouth' opened wide and it began to sing:

“For o'er a thousand years now,
my job it's been to be
the one who sorts according to
those talents that I see.
And every year I sing a song
to tell you eager souls,
of Hogwarts' storied founders
and their ancient, noble goals.
But mark my words, this year I have
a little more to say,
and you'd better pay attention
or there'll be a price to pay!
The four houses of the founders
were never meant to be
the only thing you need to know
about your destiny.
We've all been through, to say the least
A terrible few years.
There's been tragedy and horror
and no shortage of tears.
Yet with the fall of You-Know-Who
my hopes were raised anew.
'Surely,' thought I, 'they'll all see now
what they were meant to do?'
They'll take to heart the lesson
from those days of yore
when Salazar Slytherin was best friends
with Godric Gryffindor.
Helga Hufflepuff made three,
and Rowena Ravenclaw four;
wise and steadfast friends were they
who never would make war.
But now as then, no sooner
has the fighting come to an end,
than feuds and grudges flare anew
to separate friend from friend.
It's worse, I say – and that's saying a lot –
than before the war came here!
You wage vendettas, settle scores
And everyone lives in fear.
Gryffindors stand ready
to nobly defend,
but only those select few
they deign to call a friend.
You Hufflepuffs, who once were known
as friendly, just, and true,
you still are ceaseless workers
for what might benefit you.
Ravenclaws, sagacious folks,
are clever, keen, and wise,
but these most studious students
hoard their knowledge like a prize.
And Slytherins, what need I say?
What others say of you
is worse than anything except
the things you let be true.
I'm sick at heart (figuratively),
so here's my plea,
and ultimatum as well: make peace else
you'll hear no more from me!
That's right! No more will I sort you;
this time will be the last!
You may have thought I've got no choice
but you thought wrong, alas!
And just to make my point,
here's the most pointed part of my song...
Some of you, I just sent
somewhere you don't belong!”

With that, the Sorting Hat's mouth-like tear closed again, and it settled gently on its stool, seemingly lifeless and inert.

For almost a full minute, there was such absolute silence in the Great Hall that one could have heard a pin drop. The students at every table were staring at the hat as if they'd just been slapped across the face. The professors at the high table were aghast. Professor Slughorn and Professor Rai stood there, stunned, and even the ghosts who had been drifting about the room, greeting or commiserating, now floated motionless in the air, looking shocked.

A cackling from overhead was what finally broke the silence. A spectral figure was applauding and flipping head-over-heels in mid-air, over and over, while chortling with glee.

“Bwahahahahaha!” he cried. “Best! Song! Ever!”

The ghosts and students looked up. Chloe was clutching Teddy's arm again, unnerved by all the spirits. And finally, an imposing woman wearing a cloak fastened with a Celtic knot, with her long gray hair tied in formidable braids, rose from the staff table.

“That's quite enough, Peeves!” she said, in a commanding voice which carried to the furthest corners of the Great Hall, and to everyone's surprise, the poltergeist immediately fell silent, and even looked a little cowed.

She nodded to Professor Rai, who picked up the Sorting Hat and stool and carried it away. Professor Slughorn walked around the table to take a seat next to the one from which the woman had just risen. She surveyed the students, still sitting quietly at their tables, in stunned disbelief, and said, “For those of you who don't know me, I am Professor Llewellyn, Headmistress of Hogwarts. And I believe I will forego the usual start-of-term speech. I'll be conferring with your respective House Heads about this... unusual situation. I want everyone to simply carry on and conduct yourselves in the manner you know I expect of all Hogwarts students. And, enjoy the feast!”

She clapped her hands, and the empty plates and platters on all the tables were suddenly overflowing with food of every kind. It took a moment, but conversation resumed, and hungry students and teachers began to eat.