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Out of the Darkness by Tim the Enchanter

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Summary: The war against Voldemort is not going well. The Ministry of Magic has fallen and the Order of the Phoenix is scattered. Harry Potter and his friends are ruthlessly hunted by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. There is no end in sight for our heroes…

BUT SUDDENLY, OUT OF THE DARKNESS, ABSURDITY INTERVENES!

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Nominated for QSQ 2008 Best Humour Story!
Ratings: 3rd-5th Years [ - ]
Category: Humor Fics
Characters: None
Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Mild Profanity, Substance Abuse, Violence
Challenge:
Serie: None
Chapters: 4 Completed?: Yes
Wordcount: 13978 Viewcount: 17172
Published on: 01/07/08 Updated On: 07/24/08





1. Out of the Darkness... by Tim the Enchanter [ - ] (1798 words)
Greetings, Reader,

This story is the product of a rather strange dream I had the other night. The idea was so appealing (though very underdeveloped) that I had to go ahead and write this piece of randomness. I would like to thank my friends for going over my idea, and I would also like to thank mugglenet.com moderator Sandy once again for accepting my previous submission, “Obliviate!”

As always, I do not own Harry Potter, though fortunately, J.K. Rowling is kind enough to let us borrow from the amazing world she created. Speaking of borrowing, please note that the dialogue marked with an asterisk* in the beginning of this story comes from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter 17, Bathilda’s Secret… page 278, UK child’s edition to be specific.

So, without further ado, here’s the story. Read, enjoy, and please review if you so desire. I made an Unbreakable Vow with two of my alternate personalities to respond to every review posted, so yes, all reviews will be answered. Thanks for reading!

Tim the Enchanter





2. My Goodness My Guiness! by Tim the Enchanter [ - ] (2814 words)
Excellent, excellent… Here is the amazing second chapter of Out of the Darkness! I’d like to offer many thanks to moderator Bethany for approving the first instalment of this story. I never thought I’d see the day…

Here’s the disclaimer again: I don’t own Harry Potter. However, writing fan fiction is perfectly fine, for which I am glad.

As always, read, enjoy, and please review. Thank you.

Tim the Enchanter





3. The Great Chocolate War of ‘98 by Tim the Enchanter [ - ] (6366 words)
Now, I know I said in some reviews that there will be three chapters to this story, but that has been changed to three chapters plus however many extra chapters or epilogues I choose to add.

Once again, I do not own Harry Potter, but this story shows how the series would end if I did!

Anyway, thank you for reading. Any and all reviews are greatly appreciated and will receive a response.

Tim the Enchanter





4. Epic Ephemeral Epilogue by Tim the Enchanter [ - ] (3000 words)
Oh horrors! My exercise in absurdity is at an end! Here’s the final chapter of Out of the Darkness! I could have finished this story with the last chapter, but I wrote this epilogue as a lead-in to its sequel, Into the Light.

As usual, I do not own Harry Potter, and never will. I also do not own the Bible or any of the several movies that I make subtle references to in the beginning of this chapter. Ten House points if you could identify which ones!

Anyway, I thank you from the bottom of my pancreas (?) for reading this story all the way through and for putting up with the slow update process; I admire your patience. But seeing that you’d rather read than listen to my ramblings, I’ll stop talking and let you proceed to the end of the story. I hope you like it!

Tim the Enchanter