This hole you put me in
wasn't deep enough
and I'm climbing out right now
The pressure of the veil squeezed me. I’m trying to get out, but it’s too hard, too much pressure. How can something lighter than air be so strong? Then I realized it isn’t the veil, it was the other spirits, holding me back.
“Let go!” I yelled at them. I hadn’t spoken in months. It was strange, but I still remembered my voice. This wasn’t it. This one was airy and light, like a whisper. A ghostly whisper.
The grip from the other spirits didn’t slacken. “Let go of me!” I commanded again. An old woman started climbing up my robes, pulling on them. A man held on firmly to my ankle. I kept one hand on the arch so they wouldn’t pull me down. I kicked the man, and the old woman tumbled along with him. There were still others.
Eventually, I was free from their grasp, but not from the veil. They started coming back. I reached for the silvery fabric to use as leverage, but there was nothing to grab. So, instead, I clambered out of the archway by scrabbling over the rugged stone.
I was free.
I looked over my shoulder to see if any other spirits had followed me out. No one was there. I looked down at my hands. They looked so strange. I wasn’t pale and silvery like ghosts; I was flesh coloured. But it was slightly translucent, like a dirty window: it was coloured, but you could still see through it.
I looked down at my feet. I didn’t float either. If I was dead, but still here, wouldn’t I be a ghost? Why was I here anyway? How come I could get out of the veil while the others couldn’t?
That didn’t matter, though. I was out, and I wasn’t complaining. And I knew just what I was going to do.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
I will avenge my ghost with every breath I take
I'm coming back from the dead and I'll take you home with me
I'm taking back the life you stole
That stupid woman, the one who had cost me my life, my soul, I would tear away her soul, her life. My dear cousin Bellatrix was going to pay for what she did.
“Bellatrix,” I murmured as I passed by the Ministry workers. I remained in the shadows, not wanting to be seen. “Bellatrix…I will find you.” My voice was still that creepy whisper.
I lurked behind a column, but when I turned to go around it, a man was walking right towards me! I flinched, expecting a scream, but the man was looking right through me…then, he walked right through me.
I knew what walking through a ghost was like…like you were standing under an icy shower.
But the man didn’t notice anything. He kept walking.
I looked around. No one was looking twice in my direction.
I realized then that I was invisible. No one could see the ghost of Sirius Black walking- because I was walking, not floating- around. This was great!
I remembered my goal- Bellatrix.
I’ll find you, Bellatrix. Even if it takes a lifetime…I will find you. Count on that.
For what you did to me,
And what I’ll do to you,
You get
What everyone else gets,
You get a lifetime
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
The damgae you’ve inflicted,
Temporary wounds.
I’m coming back from the dead,
And I’ll take you home with me.
I’m taking back the life you stole.
The first thing I had to do was find her. I had to find Bellatrix, but I had no clue where the hell she was.
I decided the best place to look first was Malfoy manor.
The white peackocks seemed to feel my prescence. They cowered away the closer I got. I smiled to myself and walked right through the thick front door.
I scowled. This place was one of the worst places I had ever been in, not including Azkaban.
But, I was here, and I was going to find Bellatrix.
Just then, a woman with long, billowing yellow hair entered the front hall from one of the side doors.
She sighed and put a hand to her forehead. Then, a young boy with the same blonde hair and a pointed face come from the opposite door.
“Mother, are you alright?”
Narcissa looked up at her son and extended her arms. She moved closer to him and embraced him. Draco returned the hug slowly.
“Oh, Draco,” I heard her mutter into his hair. “My dear, dear Draco. How I miss your father. It isn’t the same around here without him.”
Draco ran his hand up and down her spine. “I know, Mum, I miss him, too.” Then they separated and Draco looked his mother in the eyes. “I swear, Mother, I shall avenge him. I will get him out of jail, no matter what.”
I left. Bellatrix obviously wasn’t here, and I really didn’t want to hear anymore. Listening to the Malfoys talk like this, it almost made them seem human.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
Do you remember the day when we met?
You told me this gets harder,
Well, it did.
Been holding on forever…
I knew where to look next. Bellatrix has a hiding place in Knockturn Alley. The disgusting people there love Death Eaters.
To no surprise, there she was, ranting about something in an empty room. She’s still slightly insane from her stay in Azkaban.
“Ministry everywhere!” she hissed at no one in particular. “The Master is now all over the papers! Everything, everything is ruined! A year of being discreet and hiding all gone to waste! It’s all over! We’re going to be found!” She groaned at the ceiling and continued murmuring and pacing.
“Bella…” I said, my ghostly whisper carried over to her ears.
Her head shot up. “Who said that?” she whispered, lashing out her wand.
“Now, now, Bella,” I said, and she spun around, looking for someone to kill, “that wand will do you no good. I’m already dead, my dear cousin.”
Suddenly, she stopped spinning and looked right at me. “Sirius?” she gasped.
I was slightly surprised. She could see me? That didn’t matter though, I was going to get my revenge. “That’s my name, Bella, dear.”
“Are you a ghost?” she asked, her wand pointed at me.
“I don’t think so. But I do know I’m dead. And it’s your fault.” I smiled evilly at her.
“What do you want from me?”
“An apology, maybe. But we both know that’s not going to happen. So, I just want to see you in complete despair,” I hissed, taking a step closer to her, “I want to see you loose your mind,” another step, “I want to see you in pain,” another step, “I want you to know what it’s like to die, to feel your soul ripped from your body. People lie, Bella, everyone says dying is painless. How wrong they are.”
Hip, hip, hooray for me,
You talk to me,
But would you kill me in my sleep?
Lay still like the dead.
From the razor to the rosary,
We could lose ourselves and paint these walls in pitchfork red.
I could hear my own words swirling around in the air, and I knew she could too. She looked around the room in despair, listening to my echoes. I continued taunting her.
“But before you feel all that, I want to know this: what does being you feel like?”
Complete despair.
“What is it like to feel the blood of innocent people on your hands?” She stared down at her hands and screamed, as if she could really see the blood. Maybe she could.
Loose your mind.
“What is it like to love someone who doesn’t care about you?”
What it’s like to die.
“How does it feel to be willing to give up your life for someone, and knowing they wouldn’t care if you did?”
Your soul ripped from your body.
“What’s it like to be you, Bella?”
Dying is painless. How wrong.
Bella’s head seemed to spin on her shoulders as she frantically looked around the room. My voice was in the room, echoing over and over. My taunting voice was everywhere. It was torturing her and I enjoyed it.
The blood on your hands.
Love someone. Doesn’t care about you.
Complete despair. In pain.
People lie.
Willing to give up your life.
“Finally,” I whispered to her, “I want to know…what it feels like: being unloved?”
Bella shrieked and covered her ears. She sunk to her knees and put her head on the floor. “Make it stop!” she yelled. “Make it stop!”
Being unloved.
Being unloved.
Unloved…
Unloved…
Unloved…
What’s it like?
I walked away, letting Bella be tortured by my voice.
I will avenge my ghost with every breath I take.
I'm coming back from the dead and I'll take you home with me,
I'm taking back the life you stole.
There was one more thing I wanted to do before I left this earth completely.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
I stood in a corner of the Gryffindor common room, watching the three kids.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They sat on three different chairs, talking and laughing about something. I wasn’t really paying much attention to what they were saying. I was just thinking how much they reminded me of myself and the other Marauders back in my school days.
Harry was very much like his father, obviously. The girl, sweet Hermione, how she reminded me of Lily. And Remus as well. Smart, caring, do-gooder. I chuckled to myself. Then there was Ron, he was actually something like me. He feels constantly overshadowed by his family and just wants acceptance from them, like I did. He’s lucky, though. His family loves him.
I smile at the happy friends, but my eyes travel over sadly over to Harry. I’ll be leaving my godson, I’m the only parent he has left, and I’m leaving him. But I’ll be rejoining with James. Oh, how long I’ve waited to be with my old friend. Fifteen years it’s been. Seeing Harry’s smiling face reminds me of his father’s smiling face and how I’d love to see it again.
“I’ll say hello to your parents for you, Harry,” I said, knowing he wouldn’t hear me.
His head perked up though, and he said, “Did someone say my name?” He scanned the room.
I smiled and said, “Goodbye.”
His eyes seemed to linger on the spot where I was standing just as I disappeared into thin air.
I’ve lost my fear of falling,
I will be with you.
I will be with you.
A/N: Did you like it? I did! It was REALLY fun to write. I absolutely LOVE this song.
I'm Coming Back From the Dead by Morbid_Madness
Chapter Notes: The song is used kind of strangely in this fic. See, the song is sort of about being killed by your lover and you coming back to take revenge or take them with you. Bellatrix and Sirius are far from lovers. *shivers* Just thinking about it makes me sick. Since that's what the song's about, I couldn't use the whole song. But I think the quotes I picked out fit well.