A/N: This one-shot was written around the song lyrics to Angela by Missy Higgins. I don’t own them. It’s written for but not about Angela_Prongs, who has been a great friend to me ever since I joined the forums. But the Angela in this fic is like the real Angela in name only!
This fic is (obviously) set in an Alternate Universe where it’s Lily who has unreturned feeling for James rather than vice versa and James instead is ensnared by his best mate’s sister (like Harry). I’ll admit it’s not one of my better stories, but I enjoyed writing it because it’s a totally different style to my usual one, and I hope you enjoy reading it! Thanks go to Hermione_Rocks who beta’d this for me. If you read it through, please review because I always love feedback!
Angela
Lily took a deep breath. Hold your head high, shoulders back, and put a natural smile on your face. Alright. Let’s go.
She told the Fat Lady the password, and stepped confidently into the Gryffindor Common Room.
By the fire, joking and laughing with his mates, totally at ease, was James Potter. As usual Lily was absolutely stunned by his casual toss of the head, how the perfectly ruffled black hair glistening in the dancing firelight. Exactly the same as when he first caught my eye on the Hogwarts Express. That had been a little more than five years ago now, but Lily still remembered it clearly.
What she didn’t want to remember so clearly was the way her feelings were utterly unrequited. He had absolutely no idea that he made her tingle all over with his every move, why she blushed a shade as red as her hair when he looked at her, and that his laugh made her heart and breath quicken. He was blissfully unaware of the way she hero-worshipped him, let alone felt the same way for her.
As arranged, Lily’s friends were sitting in the group of armchairs beside the Marauders. Even Lily could not fail to notice the way Sirius was chatting up Melissa. Then she realised that the confident smile had slid from her own face, and fixed it there again.
She walked casually “ oh so casually “ over to the pre-arranged vacant seat next to James, and collapsed into it.
“Evening, girls! Evening Remus, Sirius, Peter, J-James.” Annoyed, she frowned. Lovely. Now it sounded that she couldn’t even pronounce a simple, one-syllable name.
Sirius winked at her before returning his attentions back to Melissa. Remus nodded with one of his small, vague smiles. Peter gave her a greasy grin. But it was James’s reactions that she was trying to gauge out of the corner of her eye.
He was sprawled over the arms of his chair, charming pieces of parchment, making them into broomsticks which then chased paper Snitches around the legs of the armchairs, and through the fire.
“Oh, evening Lily. Hey.” Suddenly he seemed anxious, abandoning his enchantments and leaning forward to speak to her. “Have you done that homework for Slughorn? The one about Amortentia?”
Lily felt as though James’s parchment Snitches were fluttering about in her stomach.
“Yes, I finished it last night. It’s due tomorrow, I think. Do you need help or something?” The words tumbled out of her mouth so fast she was surprised he could understand them. She mentally hexed herself.
But he didn’t seem to notice. “Yeah, what is Amor-whatsit again?”
“Prongs doesn’t pay much attention in class,” Remus put in quietly. “He always ends up copying my work. I told him he could do it the way everyone else does this time. You know, look it up in the library. Should’ve known he’d ask you instead.”
James dismissed this with a lazy wave of the hand. “Oh shut up, Moony. Either way, I’ll still get it done. And she is the best in the class at Potions.”
Get rid of that stupid grin! Lily ordered herself. Reaching up to push her hair out of her eyes so he wouldn’t notice her blushing, she replied, “It’s the most popular love potion. Pretty hard to make, but ingredients are a Knut a dozen, so it’s really cheap to buy; that’s why you hear of all these girls in sixth and seventh year using on the guys.”
“Oh, right. So it creates love.” He nodded knowledgeably, throwing a furtive glance towards the entrance to the Common Room as if looking out for someone.
“No, not love,” Lily corrected, trying to draw his attention back to her, “attraction. Infatuation. You know, where you can’t draw your eyes away from the person, can’t get your mind off them, think they’re perfect in every way.” But he is perfect in every way!
Melissa threw Lily a glance. It said ‘get on with it, ask him to Hogsmeade!’ That was why they had arranged this whole meeting with the guys; Lily’s friends had grown sick of her mooning over James and had decided to set things up so he would have to go on a date with her. Lily had though it a convenient bonus for Melissa that she’d get the chance to flirt with the most sought-after guy in their year, but Melissa obviously wasn’t enjoying Sirius’s attention as much as it seemed.
Drawing another deep breath, Lily started “Hey James, are you going to the next “ ”
At exactly that moment, the portrait swung open and the chatter around the room quieted to a low buzz.
Clear the way, she’s coming through
With her eyeshadow a satin blue
And her fingernails are painted new
She’s a danger you’re addicted to.
In stepped Angela. Angela, Lily knew, was considered the beauty of their year, of the school even. She was Sirius’s twin sister, and was as attractive as he was; yet no two twins had ever looked quite so different. She had silky chestnut hair that waved gently as it cascaded down past her elbows, and lips that were ostensibly the fullest and reddest ever to have touched food made by the Hogwarts house elves. Lily couldn’t see why Angela was so attractive herself, but she often heard girls gossiping about what she wore in the bathrooms, and nobody could fail to notice the way every boy’s jaw dropped as she walked by.
Remembering this, she glanced quickly at James, and was dismayed to realise that she had lost his attention as soon as the girl had entered the Common Room.
Now he stood, unconsciously mussing up his hair.
“Go for it, mate,” muttered Sirius, Melissa forgotten.
Looking preoccupied, James grinned in Sirius’s direction, messed his hair up once more, and headed towards Angela and her gaggle of admirers, all jostling for her attention.
Lily slumped low in her chair, battling the tears that threatened to spill from her green eyes, eyes that she would have given up in an instant for the stunning blue ones possessed by Angela Black.
Angela, oh Angela,
You’re a danger he’s addicted to.
So I try to be more, oh more like you.
Angela took a deep breath. Hold your head high, shoulders back, and put a sexy smile on your face. Alright. Let’s go.
She told the Fat Lady the password, and stepped daintily into the Gryffindor Common Room.
Years of practice meant that her high heels slowed her down not one bit. Consciously accentuating the movement of her hips, she cat-walked over to her customary sofa by the entrance to the girls’ staircase.
As always, eyes followed her. She didn’t need to look around to see the envious stares of young witches or the drooling looks from their male classmates. No, she had seen enough of that to last her a lifetime; not that she tired of it, of course.
Reaching the sofa, she turned and sank into it in one graceful movement. She was careful to step on the hem of her cloak, so that the tension in the upper half was increased and it stretched tight around her trim curves, making them obvious to everyone.
Barely a minute after she had sat down, the rest of the Common Room was almost blocked from her view; there was a crowd of boys gathered around her lounge, all trying to impress her with their jokes and stories.
Her eyes lit up dangerously as James Potter pushed through the crowd, and took the risky spot on the sofa next to her.
“Hey Ange,” he greeted her too casually. “What’s up?”
She grinned wolfishly at the sweat on his upper lip, visible even in the poor light.
“A variety of things,” She replied coyly, “the sky for one. Or did that knock from the Bludger last week addle your senses?”
He hesitated, unsure whether it was meant as a light jibe or a full insult. Before he could decide, she continued, “No, I don’t suppose that’s quite fair. After all, you did score mere minutes afterwards; I must say, I’ve never seen quite so impressive a dive.”
James grinned, puffing up with pride. He ruffled his hair, and placed an arm on the sofa’s backrest. Angela shifted slightly, so that her shoulder brushed his fingertips. They twitched, then relaxed as their owner moved a little closer to Angela.
Oh, I can play this one like a game of Gobstones, she thought in delight. Half-closing her eyes and peering at him through her lashes, she slipped even closer into the circle of his arm and inquired “So, why have you come to talk to little old me this evening?”
She could feel his chest next to her expand as he sucked in a breath of air.
“I was just wondering if you were going to the next Hogsmeade trip, and if you were, then whether you’d maybe like to go with… me?”
Angela sighed delicately, placing a light hand on his shoulder, the one on his distant side.
“Oh James,” she murmured into his ear, “I’d love to. But didn’t Sirius tell you that our favourite cousin Andromeda is unwell? I know Sirius needs to stay here because of Quidditch practice, but I was going to use that weekend to go and visit her.”
Pulling out of his arms, she surveyed his crestfallen expression, carefully keeping the smile off her lips.
“Anyway, I’m not sure that you’re quite the right one for me. I worked out in Divination that I would be best suited to a Keeper, and you’re a Chaser. Oh, I’m sorry, have I offended you? I didn’t mean to slight Seekers, but Keepers have such strong arms… in any case, I see my dear brother is looking for you. When he gets that curious look on his face, one can tell that he is going to come barging over here to embarrass me. I don’t suppose you’d do me a favour and go and distract him? Honestly, why I ever had a brother, I’m sure I’ll never know.”
Nodding glumly, James obeyed, rising reluctantly from the sofa and pushing his way through the wall of smirking onlookers. One slapped him sympathetically on the back. Angela heard him growl in response, and stifled a giggle as instead of returning to Sirius, he tramped up the boys’ staircase to his dormitory.
She has heels that walk all over you
She’s a danger you’re addicted to.
Lily stared numbly at the ceiling above her four-poster bed. It was morning and she knew she had to get up, but it was hard with the sick feeling weighing down her stomach. Finally, she swung her legs out of bed.
Quickly dressing, she padded through the doorway and down the stone corridor to the dorm three doors down from hers. This year there had been fewer girls Sorted into Gryffindor than usual, and this had resulted in a leftover dormitory. Nobody was quite sure how Angela had procured this for herself, but nobody was particularly surprised either. She knocked, and was answered by a haughty “Come in!”
Doing so, she was surprised to find a very vulnerable Angela; she was in her bed, with her sheets clutched to her neck.
So move aside she has arrived
With her baby neck and sleepy eyes
“Oh, hello… Lily, isn’t it?”
You know very well what my name is; I’m in your class, for Godric’s sake!
“Morning Angela. I’m sorry, did I wake you?”
“No, no. I was just writing a letter to my cousin. Please, sit down.”
Lily gingerly crossed to the chair beneath the windowsill and perched on the edge of it. It was strange being in this room, around which so many stories were spun. Stories, that is, about what exactly happened in this room after lights out. It was hard to separate fact from fiction, and of course Angela would hardly deny anything that caused her publicity.
Angela was looking at her with a smile touching the corners of her lips, as though she knew exactly what Lily was thinking.
“So. Is there any reason to your visit?”
Lily hesitated. What she was about to say was going to sound so silly; if Angela told anyone, Lily would be the laughing stock of the entire school.
“Well, I was wondering whether… if you’d help me with…. Angela, is there some kind of charm you use, or a love potion, or anything? I mean, one that isn’t against the school rules. Some sort of Glamour, perhaps? Because quite frankly, you’re not as beautiful as everyone seems to think. And yet, you’re still honey to the bee for the boys. How do you do it?”
Angela did what Lily knew she was going to; she threw her head back and laughed in delight.
“Oh, Lily,” she gasped, wiping her eyes on the sheet. “You really know how to flatter a person, don’t you? I know that my face alone would never get me the sort of attention I receive. Actually, truth be told, you’re every bit as beautiful as I am. What I have is the attitude “ I expect everyone to love me, and they do. You have be confident, speak whatever comes first onto your mind and not be ashamed of it. You’ve got to act like you’ve never done anything that would ever make you look back in shame. You have to know when to smile, and when not to smile, when to flirt and when not to flirt. Sure, some of that’s instinct and if you’re not born with it you’ll never learn it, but most is just a frame of mind. Lily, you’re gorgeous. I don’t need a charm or a love potion, and neither do you.”
Lily felt slightly cheated; for that sort of advice, all she’d needed to do was open a copy of Witch Weekly.
“Oh, come off it. That’s what all the magazines say, but in real life it isn’t that simple. Angela, you’re hiding something and I want to know what it is, because what you’re doing to the boys is making them miserable, and it’s making the girls feel jealous and inadequate. I won’t even try to guess what you get out of it; I get the feeling that I don’t want to know.”
Angela’s eyes widened; then her face hardened, and she replied in crisp tones,
“Look Lily, you may think I have some great secret, a trick that I use to get the boys drooling, but all it is, is what I just told you. Confidence.”
Hearing the icy tone in her voice, Lily realised she’d gone too far. She stood, straightened her robes, and strode out of the room.
Outside in the familiar stone corridor, Lily gently pounded her fist against the walls. Was she disappointed? Angry? Jealous? No. Just resigned. Angela had said it herself; Lily had no confidence. And that was the key. James was out of her reach, and she had to accept that.
So I try to be more like you
Speak louder and prouder
And hide my love
But it spills out…
James stared numbly at the ceiling above his four-poster bed. It was morning and he knew he had to get up, but it was hard with the sick feeling weighing down his stomach. Finally, he swung his legs out of bed.
Mercifully, his dorm-mates had all dressed and left before him. He didn’t think he could face them right then; the embarrassment of the previous night was too fresh.
James dressed slowly, trying to draw out the time, delay the moment he’d have to come into contact with another human being. After a while he stood in the middle of the room, fully dressed. After another dull moment of thought, he decided to skip breakfast.
Sitting in the deserted Common Room, he pulled his unstarted essay towards himself. He groaned and thrust it away again.
“Amortentia. Godric, I wish I could make that stuff. Not that I’d use it. But still…”
He mucked around for a bit more, eventually dragging himself out the portrait once he judged breakfast to be over. His first class was Transfiguration, luckily. McGonagall took no nonsense there; his classmates would find it difficult to tease him with her hawk-like eyes upon them.
The next class was Care of Magical Creatures. It had been cancelled due a sudden and heavy snowfall. Carefully avoiding Sirius, Remus and Peter, James found a bench in a deserted corner of the courtyard and seated himself there. The snow drifted to the ground around him, blanketing everything it touched almost instantly. But it couldn’t quite block his view of Angela, who stood laughing and flirting on the opposite side of the courtyard.
Presently he felt that he was not alone.
“Hello, James. May I join you?”
He nodded glumly. The snow squeaked under Lily’s foot as she moved next to him and perched on the bench. For a while, neither spoke, and simply watched the snowflakes spiral down and alight on their robes.
“Nobody will ever be as good as her, will they.” Lily’s voice, sudden and bitter, took James by surprise. Neither needed to mention who she was.
James heaved a sigh.
“What, you mean nobody will ever be as beautiful, as desirable, as seductive, as enchanting, as graceful, as amazing as she is? No, I don’t expect they will.”
Oh Angela Angela
You’re a danger he’s addicted to.
Lily nodded, as though he had only confirmed what she’d always feared. For the first time, James looked at her. Her eyes, green, the colour of life, so different to Angela’s ice blue ones. Her face, open and truthful, a state Angela’s would never achieve.
He saw her fire, her determination, and also her acceptance.
Without thinking, James leaned over and kissed Lily as the snow fell around them.