Luna was practically reeling after Professor Snape had tried to snatch at her bumblebee earrings. She gasped at his recklessness and lack of manners. Beside her, a girl named Kristen with big blue eyes hidden behind modest glasses was leaning away from Luna and her bumblebees.
“Do it,” Kristen hissed. “Go on, or… or he’ll anger your earrings!”
Luna cocked her head to the side in concentration and pointed her wand right at Snape’s greasy hook nose.
“Scourgify!”
The classroom filled with screams as a jet of blue light flashed into Snape’s face. With the whooshing sound of a thousand bubbles, his long, greasy hair was blown back; his black, beady eyes wide with shock. A moment later, he was completely unrecognizable. His shoulder-length hair was frizzy and wild like it had just been shampooed and rubbed over with a towel. His hair puffed out like a triangle around his head. His face was spotlessly pale, like chalk. Suddenly, Snape crinkled his large nose. Luna leaned back warily just as Snape sneezed a burst of soapy bubbles. The students burst into a round of laughter.
Wordlessly, Snape grabbed Luna up by the wrist and began dragging her from the room. Her earrings hummed irritably.
“Are you angry, Professor?” she questioned, stumbling over her feet. “It doesn't look so bad…!”
Snape tossed her into the hall and shut the door behind him, leaving the Potions classroom unattended. Everyone looked around warily.
“Perhaps someone should go out there,” piped up a hazel-eyed girl named Jessica. “I’ve never seen Snape get so angry that he went speechless. This is uncharted territory, lads.”
“Harry should do it,” called Racquel from the other side of the room. She was a pretty Hispanic girl from Gryffindor, who normally kept to herself. “He’s faced a lot worse than Snape.” She turned to him, smiling coyly. “There’s nothing Harry can’t do!”
“Did you see Snape’s hair?” said another brunette. “It was bushier than Granger’s!”
“Oh, be quiet, Chloe!” Hermione snapped. She was still quite livid about being the victim of Ron’s prank. She stood up in her button-up white blouse and knee-length grey skirt, the only one in the room not in robes. They were folded neatly atop her desk, still blazing with the words “Ron Weasley has the cutest bum in school!"
“Luna can take care of herself,” Hermione said coolly as she rose from her seat. “It’s Ron you should all be worrying about!”
Suddenly, she whipped out her wand out at lightening speed, scaring Ron so bad that he fell backwards in his chair. Hermione stomped furiously over to his desk as he clambered under it, holding a textbook over his head.
“Don’t let her get me,” Ron yelled from beneath the table. “Stop her, Harry! Use force if necessary!”
Harry smirked and lifted Ron’s cauldron off the table and handed it down to him. Ron immediately put it over his head like a rudimentary helmet.
Hermione leaned down and reached under the table grabbing hold of Ron’s left ankle.
“Come out of there and get your due!” Hermione cried, pulling him by the leg.
Ron wrapped his arms around Harry’s knobbly knees, whimpering from inside his cauldron-helmet.
Hermione gave a final jerk, and flew backwards into a girl named Naomi. She looked down to see Ron’s left sneaker in her hands. She threw it at him angrily, hitting him in the back of the thigh.
“Fine!” she shouted, hands on her hips. “I’ll have to take you out from under that desk by force!”
“What do you call ripping off my shoe?” He yelled angrily from under the table.
“Accio Ron!”
With an unseen force, Ron was torn out from under his desk and tossed backwards into Hermione, causing them both to crash to the floor. She gasped, realizing he was lying on top of her. Struggling to get from beneath him, she scrambled to her feet and grabbed him by the shoulders.
“Your bum won’t be very cute by the time I’m done with it!” She gave him a light kick to the rear, causing him to jump.
“Why didn’t you talk me out of it, Harry?” Ron begged, crawling towards him. “Why’d you let me… it was suicide!” He yelped again as Hermione gave him another swift kick. Many of the girls in the class were giggling wildly.
Suddenly, Ron turned around on his hands and knees to face her, pointing his wand shakily. “Don’t make me duel you… I’ll duel a girl if I have to!”
Before Hermione could reply, Neville grabbed her by the arm and yanked her back into her seat.
“I hear footsteps!” he hissed, glancing nervously towards the door. Everyone began shuffling around, straightening out their desktops and holding their laughter in with their breath. When Snape shoved the classroom door open, Ron was crawling back under his desk. Harry pretended to look down into his cauldron, trying not to acknowledge the shoeless foot sticking out from under the table. A freckled ankle peeked from a dark red sock.
“Mister Weasley,” Snape hissed, trying to remain calm. “Why are you on the floor?”
“Dropped something, ma’am. Sir! I mean sir!”
The sounds of snorting and chuckling filled the room again, but no one dared look at Snape. The image of his unruly poof of hair and bubble-bogies was too much to ignore.
Suddenly, Luna poked her head into the classroom again.
“So… just to be clear,” she began thoughtfully, scratching her head with her wand.
“Out!” Snape bellowed, causing Luna to disappear from sight. He turned to face the students once again, regaining his composure.
“Class is dismissed,” he said bitterly before leaving the room again. The students all hesitated before getting up out of their seats.
“Herbology with the Hufflepuffs next,” Neville sighed. It was his favorite subject; at least he had that to look forward to. Plus, he had a secret crush on one of the Hufflepuff girls.
“Stay next to me in Herbology, will you, Hermione?” Neville asked with a shaky voice.
“I always do!” she said warmly, helping him pick up his books.
Ron and Harry waited by the door, watching Hermione cautiously. She wouldn’t look at either of them.
“She’s mad at you again,” Harry said dully. “What’ll you do now?”
“Well… last time I wrote her that note in History that said she’s pretty. That worked good enough, didn’t it? Suppose I can just tell her she’s pretty again?”
Harry shook his head, smirking to himself. “Sure, Ron,” he laughed. “Give it a go.”
Ron’s eyes widened as Hermione and Neville walked past them towards the Potions door.
“You’re very pretty!” Ron blurted out, grimacing. Hermione stopped in her tracks.
Several girls turned around, including a gorgeous mixed brunette named Lily, to see who he was talking to. They groaned when they realized he was speaking to Hermione. She glared at him for a moment before turning and walking out of the classroom with Neville walking right behind her.
“What’re you thinking?” Neville mouthed to Ron just before chasing Hermione out the door. Ron turned to glare at Harry, who was trying not to laugh.
“Good effort,” Harry snorted. Ron shook his head and stalked out of the classroom, leaving Harry to follow behind him.
•
As Neville and Hermione walked into the hallway, they heard someone calling their names. They turned to see Lily waving her arm frantically in the air as she walked toward him. They could tell it was Lily because she always had on this thick, gold charm bracelet that complimented her warm skin tone.
“Hermione, could we chat a minute?” Lily said plainly, pulling out a small box of bubblegum.
“Oh, could I have piece?” Neville asked. He was horribly nervous about Herbology, and if he was going to talk to his crush today, he could at least have decent breath.
Lily handed him a stick of gum without looking at him and continued on.
“Hermione, you know… the girls have all been nearly certain that you and Ron were an item. But you had quite a tiff in Potions just now. I was wondering if the two of you are over. Inquiring minds want to know!”
Hermione huffed, looking completely aghast. “An item? There’s nothing between Ronald and I!” Blushing furiously, she turned on her heel and stormed away with Neville on her heels. Lily continued to smack her gum, somewhat puzzled.
“So you won’t mind if I have a go, then?”
•
As they walked to the Herbology greenhouses, Neville kept an eye out for his secret crush. Hermione had been ranting ever since they left Lily outside the Potions room. For ten minutes at least, she’d been going on about Ron’s immaturity and nerve, and about the ridiculousness of Lily’s questions. Neville had been listening to it in silence all the way out on the grounds. Suddenly, a short blonde with glasses ran past them.
“Hello, there, Neville!” She called brightly as she ran to catch up with her friends.
Neville hunched over a little, trying not to look up. Sophie ran across the grass towards a group of Hufflepuff girls, one of which was Kate. Sweet, lovely Kate! Suddenly, Neville realized he was hugging his textbooks to his chest like a teddy.
Hermione lost track of her thoughts when she saw this, and gave Neville a pat on the back.
“Why don’t you talk to her?” Hermione said gently, dragging her fingers along the greenhouse walls.
Neville whimpered. “What would I say? I’d probably just wet my trousers. Look at her… eyes as green as malachite, her soft brown hair…”
Hermione laughed appreciatively as she pushed the door to the classroom open. “I wish all boys were as sweet as you!”
They stepped carefully down the curved cobblestone path toward their tables and the two of them sat down. Hermione had to brush a wayward stalk of Asphodel out of her hair before carefully taking out all of her notes. She often disliked this class because it could be nearly as dangerous as Care of Magical Creatures, and twice as dirty. Neville, however, was right at home. He took a deep breath in, slowly calming himself. Then, Kate slid into the seat in front of him, just as Professor Sprout began to lecture. Neville realized he was still hugging his books and placed them carefully on the desktop. Then, desperately trying not to draw attention to himself, he pulled a bit of parchment out of his book-bag and began to scribble on it. A few moments later, he passed the note to Hermione. It read:
Could you give me a hint, a clue? Something I could say to her that won’t make her vomit or slap me?
Hermione read it quickly and scribbled back:
What makes you think she’ll do that?
No offense, but girls tend to be easily offended…
Hermione read this, raising her eyebrow at him in warning. Then she started to write again.
Just think about what you have in common, and start from there!
Neville thought for a moment before writing back. He was very lucky Professor Sprout hadn’t noticed their note-passing.
I know she hates Malfoy as much as… well, everyone. I wish she had been there when I called him a scumbag arse-face. D’you think if I do it again while Kate’s watching, she’ll like me?
Hermione chuckled to herself as she scribbled a response.
Everyone in the school heard about that. Besides, you’re over-thinking it. You both like Herbology, why don’t you ask if she’d study with you?
Hermione slid the note back to Neville, who read it with great relief. This seemed like a good and simple plan. He looked over at Hermione with a grin to see that she was nodding her head towards Kate, who was seated in front of Neville.
“Oh, right,” he whispered. He tore off another piece of parchment and wrote the words:
Kate- I’m a little behind on my notes, would you mind meeting me later to study? It’s okay if you don’t want to, I’ll understand. I was just wondering… No pressure or anything… -Neville
He folded it up quietly and then leaned forward, tossing it lightly over Kate’s shoulder. It landed next to her textbook. Neville watched in gut-wrenching suspense as she opened it up, read it, and then began to scribble in it. It seemed like time had frozen still. A moment later, she deftly reached her hand back and placed the note on his desk in one quick motion.
Sure, come stop by my table tonight at dinner! ”Kate
Neville beamed with a toothy grin, showing the note to Hermione, who gave him a thumbs-up. Suddenly, they heard the unmistakable sound of Professor Sprout tapping her wand on her podium. Hermione and Neville jerked their heads up immediately, trying to look innocent. With a relieved sigh, they realized Professor Sprout was not looking at them, but girl named Tavia who seemed to be sleeping.
“There is no sleeping during my class!” Professor Sprout said sharply, standing above Tavia. The girl had dark, curly hair hanging over her face, her chin was resting gently on her propped up hand. Apparently her eyes were open, because Professor Sprout began waving her hands before the girl’s face.
“Up, up, up! Where is your head at, dear?”
Hermione smiled and leaned over to Neville. “I think Tavia’s got one of those Daydream charms from Fred and George’s shop. Guaranteed half-hour of uninterrupted daydreaming!”
“Ever try one?” Neville asked curiously.
“Goodness, no,” Hermione laughed. “With my class-load? I haven’t the time.”
•
In the Hospital Wing, Madame Pomfrey had painstakingly collected all the Sapsucker root she’d dropped on the floor and mixed it into her cauldron. She was still quite annoyed at Malfoy for drinking a potion not meant to be drunk, but she couldn’t be too mad at him. The pointy-nosed Slytherin was heaving in a bucket. It was difficult, however, considering his treatment. When Hermione, Harry, Ron and Neville had their faces blasted green, they simply had to cover their faces and hair with this potion. Malfoy and his two comrades, however, had drank something that turned their entire bodies cherry red, from the tips of their hair to the heels of their feet.
Three small porcelain tubs sat alongside each other, each containing a red-faced Slytherin. Madame Pomfrey lugged the cauldron over and tipped it into each bathtub, causing them all in turn to wrinkle their noses at the hideous stuff. Crabbe merely grunted in dissatisfaction, but Malfoy was incensed.
“This is torture!” He said with outrage, wrapping his pale arms around his bare legs. “Surely there must be some other way!”
“I’m afraid not, my boy,” Madame Pomfrey said with a sigh, tilting the cauldron over Malfoy’s tub. It quickly filled with the paste-like concoction.
“No visitors all day, not one! I won’t sit in this muck all day, with nobody but these two apes!” he said firmly, crossing his arms. “This potion looks and smells exactly like glue.”
“Uh, um…” Goyle said hesitantly, “Then why’d you drink it?”
Malfoy was about to retort when his face twisted up in horror. If he wasn’t so red, he might’ve looked green. He leaned over the edge of the tub and caught the bucket just in time.
A few moments later, Malfoy sat back up, glaring at his comrade.
“Alright you worthless dimwit, you think you’re so funny?” Malfoy said venomously, his beady eyes glistening. “Truth or Dare?”