As the gang sat down, Harry smiled to himself as he looked over at the Ravenclaw table. Luna was no longer sitting alone, but was surrounded by her housemates. Everyone had heard about the incident with the potions professor and was clamoring over her for it.
“Hi, I’m Katrina,” said one young Ravenclaw as she slid next to Luna. The girl had similar long blonde hair and a shy smile. “I think it’s brilliant the way you stood up to Snape,” she whispered.
“More than brilliant,” called a handsome 6th year. “Bloody courageous!” He raised his drink so forcefully that he doused the girl next to him in cold pumpkin juice.
Luna looked around at her raucous housemates wide-eyed, slowly chewing a bit of ham.
“He’ll come after you, now!” Dani Chow warned as she leaned over her plate, her dark brown eyes darting toward the professors table. “Now that you’ve let his secret out!” She raised her fork inquisitively, addressing her housemates.
“Do you suppose he can turn into a bat?”
“Unlikely,” Luna sighed. “That’s only myth.” She started to draw what looked like the shape of a tea-kettle in her mashed potatoes. “I have detention with him this evening, you know. But he certainly won’t try to drink my blood tonight, not while other students will be there. That would be ludicrous, not to mention rude.”
Dani peered inquisitively at Luna’s kettle-shaped lump of mashed potatoes, and then up at the wandering eyes of the ash-blonde Luna.
“I’ll bet you can’t drink all your pumpkin juice in less than ten seconds,” Dani said with a smirk.
Meanwhile, at the Gryffindor table, the gang was also getting plagued with questions about the day’s events. Their housemates were slapping Neville heartily on the back and toasting Ginny with frosty glasses of butterbeer.
One particularly quiet auburn-haired girl named Sarah sat down next to Ginny. She was immediately recognizable as one of the many muggle-born students Malfoy bullied.
“You’re amazing!” Sarah squealed. “Will you sign my Runes essay?”
Ginny blushed as she searched her bag for a quill.
Her blush was topped, however, by the absolutely crimson face of Neville Longbottom. Harry and Ron looked up to see who he was staring at. Striding down the length of the Gryffindor table was a 7th year named Rayne. She had long, wavy hair, light green eyes, and curves that drew the envy of most the other girls in her year.
“Nathan, right?” she purred.
“Yes? Er, no… it’s N-Neville”
“I heard about the way you stood up to Malfoy. Very daring, Norville. Ta!”
The three boys turned in unison to watch her walk away. As soon as she was out of ear-shot, Ron began shaking Neville violently.
“Bloody wicked!” He raved, his eyes wide with disbelief. “All you did was call him a scumbag arse-face and the fittest girl in school wants to talk to you! Hell, I’ll call him a flaming chicken-bugger right now!” He stood up dramatically, only to be yanked back down by Harry.
“Do watch your mouth,” Hermione reprimanded. “And don’t forget, Luna and Ginny have detention with he and Snape this evening. Don’t make things worse.” With that, Hermione stood up and stormed out of the Great Hall. Ron and Harry looked at each-other, dumbfounded.
Eventually dinner began to wind down, and Ginny walked over to the Ravenclaws to meet Luna. She’d promised to walk her to detention that evening. When she got to the Ravenclaw table, Luna had a pumpkin-juice mustache and a toothy grin.
“We’ll wait for you,” Harry called to the two girls, waving a hand in the air.
“What are you on about?” Ron said irritably.
“Truth or Dare, we’re playing again tonight. Remember?”
Ron grimaced and kept walking. “If I have to remove, wear, or even talk about underpants tonight, I’m going mad!”
“Agreed.”
As all the other students were rushing up the moving staircase towards their dormitories, Ginny and Luna headed solemnly for Snape’s office. Well, Ginny was solemn. Luna was humming while chewing on a swizzle-stick. Ginny looked at her oddly.
“Melon-flavored,” Luna said, offering the candy forward. “Care for some?” Ginny shook her head.
"Hey Luna!" called a young Ravenclaw girl with unruly blonde hair, running toward them. Her nails were painted all different colors as if she couldn't decide. Some were glittering pink, some were deep blue, some were a metallic lilac.
"Luna," she panted, "Are you coming straight back to the common-room after detention?"
"Not immediately, Gena, no," Luna said dreamily. "I've been invited to the Gryffindor tower again." Ginny began dragging Luna away, as they were going to be late for detention.
“Incredible,” Ginny groaned as they shuffled through the halls. “One day they’re hiding your socks in the rafters, the next day they’re your best bloody mates!”
At last, they were outside Snape’s door. As Ginny pushed it open, they could see that Draco was already inside.
“So glad you could finally join us,” Snape said icily. Draco turned around in his chair to smirk at the two girls. He had a lumpy purple bruise just under his left eye, which made Ginny laugh to herself.
“Tonight,” Snape continued witheringly, “you will be scrubbing trophies. Without magic.” Draco groaned aloud, but Snape ignored him. His black, beady eyes were fixated on Luna and her chewing.
“What… is… that?”
“A melon-flavored swizzle-stick. Would you like some?” Luna pulled the light-green candy out of her mouth and held the chewed-up candy stick in mid-air. Snape snatched it out of her hand immediately.
“What do you want it for?” Luna said curiously. “It’s not got blood in it.”
Snape angrily threw the candy-stick into the bin next to his desk and fumed silently. Ginny feared he might sprout fangs at any moment.
“Follow me,” he growled. With a sharp turn on his heel, he stormed out of the office with his long black cloak fluttering behind him. Luna looked back longingly at the bin where her delicious candy had been disposed, and hesitantly followed behind. Neither she nor Ginny or even Draco spoke. As they reached the door of one of the many trophy rooms, Snape silently held his hand out. Ginny and Draco instinctively put their wands in his hand. Snape looked expectantly at Luna, who stood with furrowed brow.
“I already gave you my swizzle-stick, and you binned it!”
“Wand,” Snape demanded.
“Well”, Luna sighed, “If I must. But you won’t toss this one, will you?” Ginny bit her lip to stifle a laugh. Snape snatched the wand out of Luna’s hand, turned on his heel, and stormed away.
“I’ll be back in two hours time,” he hissed over his shoulder. The door swung shut behind him.
The three of them turned to find three small buckets of soapy water and soft rags. Draco immediately walked over to a chair in the corner and propped his feet up on one of the shelves.
“Sod this,” he said angrily. “This is peasant-work. I’ll leave it to you, Weasley.”
Ginny put her hands on her hips while Luna reached into her robe pocket and pulled out another swizzle-stick.
“You will help us scrub trophies,” Ginny declared, “or I’ll dump this bucket over your head.”
“I’ll hex you into next year!” Draco screeched. His grey eyes were glinting in the dim light.
“With what? You haven’t got your wand, idiot.” Ginny laughed as Draco’s face went blank.
“And we both know that I could take you in a fight, Malfoy. So start scrubbing.”
The time crept by slowly, and the array of dusty old trophies seemed never-ending. Draco was clearly putting no effort into the task as he dawdled back and forth, occasionally dragging his wet cloth over a trophy or two. Mostly, he yawned and dangled the cloth by the very tips of his fingers.
“That’s it”, said Ginny, storming straight at Draco to look him directly in the face. “Start scrubbing, you spoilt prat! This instant!” Her eyes were narrowed and her pitch was rising, not unlike her mother when she was irritated.
“What’ll you do if I don’t?” Draco asked teasingly. “It’s bad enough having to endure your ugly, freckled face!”
In his office down the hall, Professor Snape heard a high-pitched scream. He dashed quickly to the Trophy Room, throwing the door open with one hand. Splayed on the floor was Draco, pulling a sudsy bucket off of his head. As he rubbed his reddened eyes, Ginny folded her arms coolly.
“He had an accident,” she said with perfect nonchalance. “Didn’t you, Malfoy?”
Draco nodded between sobs, too terrified to say otherwise. Meanwhile, Luna was slyly stuffing her last swizzlestick down her left sock before Snape could confiscate it.
As Ginny led Luna into the Gryffindor common room, they were bombarded with questions. Luna stood by the door, frowning, while Ginny grabbed a pillow and went to sit by the fireplace.
“How bad was it?” Ron asked with a tremble. “Snape… he’s completely horrifying.” Neville nodded, hugging a throw-pillow in his arms.
“It wasn’t as bad as all that,” Ginny sighed. “I mean, besides the scrubbing. If you have to have detention with someone, definitely bring Luna. I’ve never seen Snape so utterly speechless!”
Everyone turned to look at Luna, who was still frowning.
“Ginny doused Draco’s head, and he cried like a woman,” Luna recounted in a dreamy voice. “And he took two of my swizzle-sticks, and stared at me with those beady little eyes.”
“Terrible, terrible vampire-man…”
Everyone burst out laughing as Hermione and Ginny beckoned Luna over to the fireplace. She hesitantly sat down between the two girls, and Hermione pointed to her wrist to show that she was still wearing the rubber-band bracelet Luna had given her.
“Why’s ‘Mione not talking to me?” Ron whispered to Harry out the side of his mouth. They were seated on the couch again, with Neville still clutching a pillow.
“Don’t ask me,” Harry replied in a low voice. “I’ll never figure girls out.”
“Alright!” Ginny said, getting everyone’s attention. “I’ve been scrubbing trophies and listening to Malfoy whine for two hours! Let’s play some Truth or Dare, for Merlin’s sake!”
“I’ll go!” Ron said suddenly, a look of determination on his freckled face. “I pick Hermione. Truth or dare?”
Harry stared at his friend in disbelief. Hermione, however, was biting her lip pensively. Ginny cleared her throat a couple times, but Hermione paid no notice.
“Oh, um… truth,” she said, flustered. Last time she’d picked dare, she had to kiss Ron. This time she was hoping for something slightly less embarrassing.
“Alright, you have to be completely honest then!” Ron warned.
“I know!”
“It’s an unspoken law, no lying if you pick Truth!” he said, getting notably louder.
“I understand Ron, just asking me something!”
“Why are you mad at me?”
Hermione went pale as all eyes turned on her.
The Gryffindor common room was silent except for the crackling fire, as all eyes went to Hermione. (All eyes but Luna’s, as she was dreamily picking at her blue and lilac striped stockings.)
“What?” Hermione said, her face completely flustered.
“I asked why you’re mad at me,” Ron said defiantly, “and you picked truth, so there’s no getting out of it!”
Ginny turned away, snickering into her shoulder.
“Alright,” Hermione said stiffly, folding her arms across her chest. “If you must know, I’m mad because… because you’re an insensitive brute!”
Harry and Ron looked at each other in amazement.
“What the bloody Hell does that mean?” Ron bellowed.
“Y-you think you can j-just objectify people, um, women,” she stammered, “which is degrading and insulting to… to your peers, your female peers…”
Ron continued to look thoroughly gobsmacked.
“You said that Rayne was the ‘hottest’ girl in school,” Hermione continued, becoming increasingly furious. “You said that right in front of Ginny and I… what are we, chopped flobberworm? What about, er, Parvati? She’s pretty! Or Lavender, we certainly know what you think of her! What about Luna, she’s lovely, isn’t she?” (Luna’s swizzle-stick dropped from her mouth as she looked up at the mention of her name.)
“Or what about me?” Hermione raged on, standing up in front of the fireplace, pointing a finger at Ron’s chest. “Clearly it hasn’t yet occurred to you that I’m a girl! And… and I have feelings, too, you know! To talk about other girls that crudely, right in front of… Ugh!”
Hermione immediately stormed out of the common room and up the stairs to the girl’s dormitory, nearly knocking into Ashley, one of the Gryffindor prefects.
“Hey Ashley,” Parvati called out awkwardly. “Care to play some Truth or Dare?”
Her freckled face went pink. “I think I’m a bit too old for this game,” she said in an odd voice. She eyed them suspiciously all the way down the stairs and out the portrait.
For a moment they sat in silence, Ron’s mouth hanging in shock. Even Lavender and Parvati stared at the ground in disbelief at Hermione’s sudden fit or rage.
“Er, I’m going to check on Hermione,” Ginny said quietly.
“Bring her a tampon while you’re up there, will you?” Ron said bitterly. Ginny smacked him fiercely on the back of the head.
“Neville, why don’t you have a turn?”
As Ginny headed up the stairs, Neville started to feel little beads of sweat drip down his face. As he yanked on the collar of his shirt, he tried to think of whom he could pick without setting off any latent emotions.
“Luna?” He ventured shyly. “Truth or d-dare?”
Luna twirled a dark blue swizzle-stick in her hand as she contemplated the question.
“Dare, then.”
Neville looked quite confounded until Harry leaned over and whispered something in his ear. Neville’s face brightened.
“Luna, I dare you to wear the words “Snape is a Vampire” on your robes tomorrow!”
Luna nodded with consideration. “It’ll go well with the countermeasures I’ve prepared.”
Lavender and Parvati burst into giggles.
“Parvati,” Luna said dreamily. “Truth or Dare?”
Parvati straightened up, tossing her thick braided hair behind her back. “Truth!”
Luna pondered a moment, before Lavender got up and whispered into Luna’s ear.
“Who do you have a crush on?” Luna repeated in a sing-song voice.
Parvati went red in the face. “Ikram… from Hufflepuff.” She looked venomously over at Lavender, who was smirking.
“Who’s that?” Harry asked.
“Hell if I know,” Ron answered. “I’ll never understand girls.”
The next morning, it was an awkwardly silent breakfast in the Great Hall. Hermione refused to look at Ron, and he in turn refused to look at her. Lavender and Parvati slid in next to Ginny and Neville suddenly and lowered their voices.
“Look at the Ravenclaw table,” Lavender hissed, trying to contain her laughter. “Luna’s absolutely bat-shit bonkers!”
They all turned to see Luna sitting with her back to her housemates, wearing a long string of garlic cloves around her neck. The girl sitting behind her raised her wand and pointed it at Luna’s back.
“Califuego!” said Elizabeth, making motions with her wand as though she was drawing on Luna’s back. When she was done, she waved the other Ravenclaws to come look. She’d written “Snape is a Vampire” in fiery letters on the back of Luna’s robes. Louise began giggling silently to herself so hard that she appeared to be choking. Luna patted her on the back obliviously.
“Are you seriously going to wear it all day?” Elizabeth said with a wide smile.
"The garlic, or the words?” Luna inquired.
“All of it!”
“Of course,” Luna replied dreamily. “I’m told that a dare is an unspoken law of some sort. And the garlic is for protection, of course.”
“You’ll have to tell me all about it when you see me in Astronomy, if you’re still alive by then!”
Harry and Neville burst into laughter. The garlic was much more than they expected.
“I love this game!” Harry said with a chuckle. Ron kicked him under the table.
“Oh, Parvati,” Lavender sang with a smirk. “Wave hello to Ikram dearest!”
Parvati looked up to see a handsome, dark-skinned Hufflepuff boy standing up awkwardly at his table. He caught sight of Lavender and gave her an awkward wave. Before she could respond, however, a thin hand with pink nail polish reached up and yanked Ikram back down by the collar.
Parvati was about to start scolding her best friend for telling, but they were interrupted by raucous laughter. Students all around the Great Hall had noticed Luna’s robes and were abandoning their breakfasts to have a look.
Suddenly, a brunette Ravenclaw named Joy stood up in her seat and began chanting and pumping her fist.
“Loony Lovegood! Loony Lovegood! Loony Lovegood!”
Almost immediately, the entire giant room was filled with chanting. Luna simply waved her fork in the air to the rhythm as she chewed on a biscuit. Everyone at the Gryffindor table was clapping and chanting along. Even Lavender! The only people not enjoying it were Ron, Hermione, and the Slytherins.
Snape couldn’t see from the head table exactly what everyone was laughing about, but he had a pretty good idea. Professor Dumbledore arose from his seat and waved his hand, causing the chanting to hush.
Ron and Hermione exchanged an awkward glance, and Hermione abruptly excused herself from the table. Ginny noticed this, and trying to prevent another embarrassing scene between the two, stood up to follow her. She gave Harry a meaningful look, and he stood up too, grabbing Neville with him.
They all followed Hermione out of the Great Hall, clapping to the tune of the “Loony Lovegood” chant. Almost immediately, the rest of the Gryffindor table got up as well, clapping along. Moments later, the Ravenclaws slowly began to head out to their classes, clapping as well. Hermione blushed furiously as the thunderous clapping followed behind her.
For the first time in her life, she looked forward to Potions class. Luna and her garlic necklace were sure to give Snape a well-deserved heart attack.