“Where is Luna, and her naughty little Frankie?” spoke a strikingly tall blonde.
“Where do you think, Jacqueline?” Lavender answered. “Snape was so furious he extended her already lengthy number of detentions even further. He’s got her for months!”
“Oh, how miserable for her!”
Hermione shook her head. “Nothing makes Luna miserable, not even Snape.”
“I’d give anything to see what she’s doing to him now,” Harry pondered aloud. “She makes that vein above his left eyebrow pop out. One day she might just drive him mad!”
“I spoke to her earlier,” Hermione informed them as she took a seat by the fireplace. “She said Snape was going to have her scrub Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom.”
“Blimey!” Ron gasped. “That’s done it! Snape’s found the one person nuttier than Luna!”
Suddenly Ginny got a grin on her face. “If Snape sent her to Myrtle’s bathroom, there’s no way he’d stick around, right?”
Hermione looked at her warily, fearing she knew what Ginny was thinking.
“I say we sneak out to the second floor and go meet Luna! No one will know, it’ll be a blast!”
Ron looked at her incredulously. “You’re suggesting that we voluntarily go to detention?”
“What else have you got to do?”
“Homework!” Hermione interrupted, practically shouting. “You all have plenty of homework you could be doing!”
“Myrtle’s it is, then.” Ron said with a grin.
After much debate, five brave Gryffindors sneaked past Prefects and slipped with ease down moving staircases toward the second floor.
“Why didn’t you bring your Invisibility cloak?” Ron hissed.
“There’s five of us,” came Harry’s reply. “We can’t all fit under it!”
Neville started mumbling to himself nervously as the five of them navigated through the dark hallways. “If we get caught, that’s ten points each… we’d lose fifty house points!”
“All the more reason to hush, so we don’t get caught!” Ginny whispered.
Soon, they arrived at the lonely, weathered door of the haunted bathroom. Hermione pushed the door open quietly and called out. First came a polite greeting from Luna, and then…
“What are you all doing in my bathroom?” Myrtle howled. She appeared instantly from behind the sinks and hovered in front of them, her ghostly hands on her hips. “First that pallid, hook-nosed old man and now-” suddenly Myrtle’s eyes rested on Harry’s familiar face. “Hello, Harry,” Myrtle said coyly, her voice softening. “I thought you’d never come by!”
“Um, Hello, Myrtle,” Harry mumbled awkwardly, trying to look through her. “Where’s Luna?”
Myrtle stiffened once again, hovering above the sinks. “She’s by the stalls, back there. Hmph!” With that, Myrtle dove down a drain and disappeared with a wail.
“I think she loves you, mate,” Ron said solemnly, trying to hide his laughter. “How can you kiss your girlfriend if your face goes right through her?” Harry punched him in the arm as the walked further into the abandoned bathroom. There in the shadows, Luna sat on the tile floor with a small cauldron and a scrub brush. She waved the scrub-brush in the air, directing them toward her. Tiny bubbles and suds flew off and landed gently in her messy blonde hair.
“I thought I’d start from the back,” Luna explained, “and scrub my way to the front.” She sighed, looking up at Ginny and Hermione. “That wicked, undead man took my worm, my wand, and my last swizzlestick. It’s a bleeding travesty.”
Hermione smiled as she pulled her wand from her pocket. “We don’t have worms or swizzlesticks,” she said with a laugh, “but we did bring our wands!” Hermione pointed her wand up in the air and spun it in a circle.
“Scourgify!"
A wave of blue light wiped through the room like an electric wave. When the bathroom darkened again, they all squinted their eyes.
“Looks clean to me!” Ginny offered with a shrug.
“But how will I explain this full cauldron of soapy water I’ve still got?” Luna pondered aloud.
Ginny grinned mischievously as she walked toward it and picked it up by the handles. Without a moment of hesitation, she dumped the soapy water onto the floor. She and Ron gave each other a look and darted over to the back wall.
“One… Two…Three!” Suddenly they broke into a mad dash across the soapy tiles and began sliding on their feet. Ginny spun off and grabbed onto the edge of a sink, but Ron slipped back onto his rear end and slid straight into the wall of sinks. The Weasleys cracked up laughing.
“We do this at the Burrow when we have to clean the kitchen,” Ginny explained, making her way cautiously over the soapy floor. “It’s loads of fun!” Neville, seeing this, backed into a corner.
Luna, however, looked entranced. She immediately took off her shoes and pulled her long, purple socks off her feet and tucked them into her shoes. She retreated to the back wall, but instead of running across the floor, she began spinning like a top on her bare feet. Pirouette after pirouette after lopsided pirouette, she twirled right into a stall door with a bang. Hermione slipped after her, to find that she was draped over the broken toilet, laughing maniacally. Hermione tried to pull her up, but fell forward as well, landing with her arm in the toilet. She screeched as Ron doubled over laughing.
She whipped her head around. “Ronald! Think that’s funny, do you?” Hermione said, withdrawing her arm from the rusted old toilet. Ron looked aghast as she walked toward him, holding her dripping wet arm out like a zombie.
“Give us a hug, Ron!” She squealed, chasing after him. She got too much momentum, however, and crashed right into his back, causing them both to fall flat on their stomachs in the soapy water. Ginny came tip-toeing over, but slipped as well, landing flat on her back.
“Oh, someone’s missed a spot,” Harry said with a laugh as he slid carefully over to Ginny. “A little help?” Suddenly, he grabbed Ginny’s hands and began dragging her across the floor. She squealed, twisting hard so that she flipped over onto her stomach. This caused Harry’s arms to twist and he, too, came splashing onto the floor. Harry crawled up on his elbows and grabbed a lock of Ginny’s hair, and began pretending to scrub the floor next to her head with it. Little did Harry know, however, that Hermione was sneaking up behind him.
“Augamenti!” She called out. Harry looked up just in time to see a stream of water come spewing from the tip of her wand, soaking him completely. He sputtered as water poured down his messy locks in into his face.
“I’ve got her, Harry!” Ron shouted, sliding towards them. Ginny jumped on his back, but to no avail. Ron shook an arm free and pointed it at Hermione.
“Augamenti!”
Hermione screamed as Ron blasted her with a stream of water. Hermione’s wavy brown hair hung down her face as she scowled angrily. Ginny, who was still clinging to Ron’s neck, was not amused. She pointed her wand down the back of Ron’s shirt.
“Augamenti!” Ginny called triumphantly. Ron screamed in an oddly high pitch as water shot down the back of his trousers.
“Blimey, that’s cold!” Ron wrapped his arms around his chest, his soaking red hair sticking up in odd places like a bird’s nest. He and Hermione both were shivering and wet. Harry gave his head a shake, tossing water at Ginny. She shoved him playfully.
“Shhh!” Neville hissed. He was crouched by the door, the only one in the bathroom left dry. “Someone’s coming!”
The group scrambled through the sudsy water, running towards the bathroom stalls. Hermione and Ginny shoved their wands in their pockets and crammed into a stall together, pulling the door shut behind them. Harry jumped into another, standing on top of the toilet to hide his legs. Ron and Neville slipped and slid into stalls near the back, cursing quietly to themselves as they pulled the doors shut. Luna was sitting in a puddle, patiently putting her left sock back on. Just in time, a small hand holding a wand poked out of a stall door.
“Scourgify!” Hermione whispered. In a flash, the room was dry once again, and bubble-free.
The door flew open, and Snape entered grandly, his robes flowing. He stopped in front of Luna, looking down at her with disdain. She had already managed to pull her left sock on, and was now concentrating on the right.
“Miss Lovegood,” He hissed. She paid no attention, now slipping her feet into her shoes.
“Miss Lovegood!”
Luna stood up, smoothing her robes out. Meanwhile, Harry, Ginny, Hermione, Ron and Neville were all desperately holding their collective breath behind stall doors.
Luna held out both her hands, palms open.
“Worm, wand.”
Snape looked down at her with black, beady eyes. He was nearly shaking with fury as he reached into pocket and produced her wand, placing it firmly in her hand. Wordlessly, he then reached into his chest pocket. He slowly removed the worm and dropped it into Luna’s other hand. She instinctively clutched the earthworm to her chest.
“Frankie must be starving!” She cooed, petting the worm tenderly. “He looks dreadfully thin, haven’t you cared for him at all?”
Snape raised an eyebrow. “If I ever see this thing again, I’ll slice it, dice it, and use it in a potion.” With that, he turned on his heel and left the bathroom. Moments later, Harry, Ron, Neville, Ginny and Hermione came tumbling out of their stalls, laughing wildly.
As soon as they all got back to their beds, they all fell happily asleep. The next day would be quite a long one.
Professor Binns looked on airily as his History students filed into the classroom. It was Gryffindors and Ravenclaws this afternoon, shuffling their feet and slowly taking their seats. Harry and Ron sat together of course, immediately throwing their textbooks open so as to look studious. Ron leaned his head on his hand and began to fall asleep sitting up, his eyes fluttering. Harry leaned forward to nudge Hermione, who had taken the desk in front of him. Next to her was a Ravenclaw named Dani, who had deep brown eyes almost as dark as her hair. Dani turned back a moment to glance at the two boys, and then leaned in close to Hermione.
“Psst! Hermione!”
She looked up from her textbook. Dani had her head down, trying to avoid being seen by their ghostly Professor. Hermione raised an eyebrow.
“What’s the story on you and Ron?” Dani whispered, giving a nod toward the handsome redhead.
Hermione looked taken aback. “What do you mean, ‘the story’?”
“He obviously likes you.”
Alisa and Hermione both turned in their seats. There behind them, Harry was doodling in his textbook and Ron’s sleepy face was propped up on his hand. His mouth was hanging open like a fish.
“Oh, obviously,” Hermione said sarcastically. “He’s drooling over me right now!”
It was half-true, at that moment, a tiny droplet of saliva was hanging dangerously on the corner of Ron’s mouth.
Suddenly, Lavender let out a loud “Ahem”. She was sitting with Parvati at the desk in front of Hermione’s.
“What?” Hermione hissed with a blush, realizing she’d been caught staring at Ron. Lavender discreetly slipped a piece of paper to Hermione and then faced the front again. Professor Binns floated back and forth before the blackboard as he lectured, but no matter… the notes were always visible through his transparent form.
Hermione laughed to herself as she read Lavender’s note. She gave her a quick nod and then balled up the parchment in her hand. Just as Binns turned to write on the blackboard, Hermione turned around in her seat and lightly tossed the balled-up note through the air. The moment it smacked against Ron’s front teeth, it startled him so quickly that his face slid out of his hand and he slammed face-first into his textbook. He raised his head with a groan, wiping the drool from his chin.
Harry let out a chuckle and placed his hand on the desk, aiming carefully for a moment. Suddenly, -flick!- the slightly damp wad of parchment sailed through the air, through Professor Binns transparent right knee, and rolled beneath the blackboard. Hermione raised an admonishing eyebrow at him.
You started it, he mouthed at her.
When History was finally over, they poured out into the hall with the other students. The trio was alarmed to find that the dares they’d used involving fiery writing on people’s robes had indeed become quite a fad. As Harry, Ron and Hermione waited outside the classroom door, a tall Ravenclaw named Sophie slinked by them. Scrawled in fiery lettering across the back of her robes, read:
No one’s hotter
than Harry Potter
Harry pretended to wipe his glasses off on his sleeve, but Hermione couldn’t help but giggle. Ron, however, simply couldn’t stop yawning. Finally, Luna emerged from the classroom.
“Hello, Harry! Hermione! Ronald!” she said, nodding to the three of them. A moment later, Neville came running out as well.
“Can I borrow your notes later, Hermione?” he said breathlessly.
“You can have them when I’m finished with them!” Ron said crankily.
Hermione huffed. “What makes you think I’ll let any of you copy my notes?”
“You always do,” Harry reminded her.
“You can look at my notes,” Luna offered. Ron shook his head, eyes widening.
As they walked down the stairs toward the Great Hall, a tall, blonde Slytherin was watching from a few flights above. Draco smirked as he gave Crabbe and Goyle a nod.
“Let’s do it.”