“Uh… how will you know what to look for?” Goyle asked shyly. He knew Draco got mad when he asked questions, as his questions were often stupid.
“Don’t worry about it,” Draco snapped back. “I told you I’d planned it, idiot. Do you have the sodding pouch?” Goyle nodded. “That’s all you need to worry about, then!”
As they walked, an unusual silence deafened them. Everyone else in school was in the Great Hall having lunch. Crabbe’s stomach growled audibly loud, which made Draco shake his head. Minutes later, they stood in front of Snape’s office.
“Alohamora,” Draco said with a cocky grin, pointing his wand at the intricate doorknob. It made a loud clicking sound, and Draco let himself in. Snape’s office was dark and dank, and there was another room just inside of it where he kept his many potion ingredients.
Crabbe stood outside the door as a lookout while Goyle entered the supply closet with Draco. The shelves were lined with bottles and vials of different colors, as well as jars containing many different kinds of plant life.
Disturbingly, many of the jars contained hideous-looking substances whose origins were quite questionable. Draco climbed up a step ladder, running his finger across the tiny, handwritten labels. Finally he laughed with relief. He pulled down a jar full of tiny green buds covered in thorns. Goyle obediently held open the pouch while Draco dropped a handful into it. With one last look around, the boys disappeared back out into the hall.
Hermione waved goodbye to Luna, who was walking away with a short blonde named Lisa. As they exited the Great Hall, Ron stretched his arms out above his head.
“I’m so full,” he said with a happy groan.
“Did you notice anything weird?” Harry asked aloud, ignoring him.
“You mean Draco?” Hermione said concernedly. Ron looked at them both with a blank stare.
“He and his two stupid minions were absent from lunch today,” Ginny explained.
“Yeah, right,” Ron laughed. “Crabbe and Goyle never miss a meal.”
“Maybe they’re in the Hospital wing?” Neville said hopefully. “They can’t play any jokes on us if their petrified or something.”
Ginny laughed, nearly dropping her books. “I hope they’re afflicted with explosive vomiting!”
“Well, we shall know directly,” Hermione said loudly, speaking over them. “We have Potions with the Slytherins. Let’s hurry on, now!”
At that instant, however, Ron had stopped in his tracks. Hermione spun around, giving him a very stern look. He didn’t notice it, however, as Valentina Munroe was walking towards them. Valentina had shoulder-length blonde hair , bright blue eyes, and as many freckles as the sky had stars. Hermione fumed as the lovely fellow Gryffindor approached them. She stopped in front of Ron, who’s mouth was hanging open.
“You’ve got something on your robes,” she said plainly, brushing a few biscuit crumbs from Ron’s chest. He gave a little squeak, his mouth still agape. She smiled awkwardly before continuing down the hall. Ron slowly looked down at his chest where her hand had just been.
“What’s with you and blondes?” Harry asked incredulously. He was of course referring to Fleur.
Hermione grabbed Ron by the collar, yanking him forward. “One foot in front of the other!” She snipped, practically dragging him through the hall. Ginny and Harry followed close behind, desperately trying not to laugh.
Luna and Lisa walked outside into the sunny, overgrown courtyard to find a group of their fellow housemates sitting at the stone benches. Lisa ran right over to them, but Luna approached cautiously.
“Tell us how detention went!” Lisa said brightly, as though Luna had come back from a tropical vacation.
“How do you think?” a girl named Danielle interrupted, laughing. She had curly, dark brown hair and had her wand tucked behind her ear. “She had detention with Snape! He’s a blood-sucking, hook-nosed old knob!!” Suddenly, Danielle stood up and held out her arms like a zombie.
“Miss Lovegood,” Danielle said witheringly, doing her best impression of the professor. “For detention this evening you must polish my hideous, greasy face!” The girls squealed in disgust, but Luna held her hand up to her chin, deep in thought.
“What are you thinking about?” asked Lulu warily. The other Ravenclaws got quiet. There was no way to guess what was on Luna’s mind.
“He does have a problem with that face, doesn’t he?” Luna pondered aloud.
“That’s a sodding understatement!” Lulu replied.
Luna continued stroking her chin, as Frankie poked his head out of her pocket. “Maybe if I fix it for him,” she mused, “Professor Snape will be nicer to me…”
A few moments passed as Luna stared blankly ahead, lost in her thoughts. A blonde named Claire waved her hand in front of Luna’s face. Luna looked at her oddly.
“What does Frankie do?” Claire asked.
“What?”
“What does he do?” She repeated. “I’ve got a cat named Babe Ruth. He’s a Manx, which means he’s got no tail, so he runs funny. He can climb really well, though, and jump really high.”
“Don’t you mean a Minx?" Lulu asked. Claire shook her head with a laugh, wadded up a piece of parchment, and threw it at her.
“I’ve got a hamster,” piped up a brunette named Scarlette. “Her name’s Pennyweather, and she’s got this little wheel, it’s really cute. Sometimes she stuffs her little face full of food pellets-”
“Where’d she learn that?” Lulu joked. Scarlette was notoriously thin, but how she stayed that way was a mystery because she ate like a rabid animal. Where all that food went, nobody knew. Some even joked that she had a hollowed-out leg.
“Anyway,” Scarlette continued, “Pennyweather isn’t too chubby because she runs on that wheel all day and night. What does Frankie do?”
Luna reached into her pocket and pulled out the wriggling little earthworm, holding it gently in the palm of her hand.
“Frankie is a very good listener,” Luna said proudly, leaning her face down close to her hand. “Aren’t you, Frankie?” she cooed. “So open-minded!” Suddenly the girls remembered why they’d thought Luna was weird in the first place.
Meanwhile, in Potions, the gang realized they’d arrived quite early. Possibly due to the fact that Hermione stormed all the way there.
“What’s up her skirt?” Ron asked Harry as they sat down. Hermione was ignoring him and talking animatedly to Neville.
Harry sighed. “Don’t you remember anything?”
“What?”
“Ron, Valentina came up to you and you went utterly mental. You didn’t even say anything to her; you just sort of squeaked.”
Ron looked aghast and put his face in his hands. “Murder me, Harry,” Ron mumbled sadly.
“I’d be happy to,” came a snide voice from above. Ron looked up from his hands to see Draco staring down at him. The devious Slytherin leaned over their desk, looking Ron in the face. Harry could’ve sworn he heard something drop into Ron’s cauldron, but dismissed the thought.
“You can’t talk to girls, you can’t make potions,” Draco said arrogantly, “you might as well just take a flying leap, Weasley! You’re a waste!”
Harry stood up immediately, jabbing his wand into Draco’s chest.
“Back off, Malfoy, or it’s the ferret-life for you!”
Suddenly, they heard footsteps nearing the classroom door. Harry slipped his wand back into his pocket just in time to hide it from Snape, who stormed into the classroom. As Harry sat down, he noticed that Crabbe and Goyle had been standing in front of Hermione and Neville’s table as well. Harry instantly got a sinking feeling that something was amiss.
Snape started right in on his lecture, a potion for removing warts. They grudgingly opened their textbooks and began chopping and skinning the various ingredients they’d been given. Pretty soon, the entire class had set their cauldrons boiling. Harry looked up to see Draco looking back at him, smirking devilishly. Suddenly, Harry realized he was up to something. Before he could do anything, however, his and Ron’s cauldrons, along with Hermione’s and Neville’s all simultaneously exploded with inky green clouds of smoke. The Slytherins burst out laughing like hyenas.
Ron and Harry looked at each other, pointing wildly.
“You’re green!” they shouted simultaneously. They both had entirely green faces, like they’d been dyed like Easter eggs. Harry wiped green goo off of his glasses. The substance had splattered their robes and hair as well. Ron looked over at Hermione and Neville, who also had dark green skin. Hermione looked as though she might cry.
“What’s this?” Snape hissed, storming over to their tables. They looked at him confoundedly. “You imbeciles have obviously been cheating, helping each other… this is what happens when you cheat. You make a careless mistake, and now you all look quite foolish. Twenty points from Gryffindor.”
Harry started to protest, but Snape held up a hand to silence him.
“This explains the large amount of Thornmallow missing from my supply cabinets. You’ll serve detention with me this evening, for stealing. That will be all.” With his beady eyes black and furious, he dismissed the class. Harry looked back at Draco, steel-eyed.
“Nice color,” hissed the snobby Slytherin. Harry scowled. The war was on.
Four green-faced, pouting Gryffindors walked glumly to the Hospital wing. Ron reached over and put an arm around Hermione, who leaned her head on his shoulder. In the Hospital wing, they’d have some time to mull this over and come up with a plan of revenge. But most importantly, to look a bit less like plantlife.
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville entered the Hospital Wing with their faces down. If their faces weren’t so green, they’d all be blushing furiously. It was a long walk there from Potions, and a lot of people had seen their oddly inked faces and hair. Harry pointed to four adjacent beds and they all sat down and waited patiently as Madame Pomfrey poured the contents of a cream-colored bottle into a large bowl. Hermione grimaced at the thick, plaster smell arising from the stir. Whatever the cure for this miscolored condition, she just hoped she didn’t have to drink it.
Neville had to go first. He sat upright on his bed, shutting his eyes tightly and whimpering. Madame Pomfrey chuckled to herself as she smeared the potion over Neville’s neck, his scrunched little face, and then into his hair. Hermione gave a curious look.
“This will absorb the Thornmallow root,” Madame Pomfrey explained as she neared Hermione. “The smell isn’t very pleasant, but you should be to your normal colouring in a few hours time.”
“A few hours?!” Ron roared, his inky-green face aghast. “Might as well kill me!” He scoffed and threw himself face-first onto his pillow with a groan.
“And we’ll miss dinner!” came Ron’s muffled voice.
Hermione was the next victim of Madame Pomfrey’s pasty concoction. But she held her head high and shut her eyes obligingly. The smell of glue filled her nose as she felt the creamy stuff smeared down her face and neck and through her hair. As soon as she was done, Hermione reached her hands back and tied her slicked-back hair into a bun. She could feel the stuff working a little, it felt like a breeze was blowing on her skin. A really awful-smelling breeze.
Suddenly, Hermione noticed several other students in beds around the room. She’d been so nervous coming in that she hadn’t even noticed them. One girl she recognized, a Hufflepuff named Kelsey Ann, was sitting up in her bed holding an acoustic guitar. Her right shin was covered in thick bandages.
“What happened to you?” Hermione asked curiously, wrinkling her nose at the unrelenting glue-smell.
Kelsey leaned over her guitar, brown eyes darting back and forth. “You know that dark-haired girl Fateema?”
“Yes?” Hermione whispered back.
“She’s been keeping a fire-crab in the dorm.”
As Hermione’s eyes widened, Kelsey leaned back and propped her bandaged leg up on a pillow and began to strum on her guitar as though these kinds of Hospital Wing visits were a regular occurence.
"Where does she keep it, exactly?" Hermione hissed.
"It was in Fateema's trunk, but it burnt through all her undergarments. I was about to pounce on it with a pillow when it shot its bottom off at us!"
Hermione looked over to Kelsey Ann’s right, where a somewhat chubby, Asian girl named Naz sat with both her hands bandaged. As she held them up, they looked like giant oven mitts.
“Fire-crab,” she repeated sullenly.
Hermione smirked and turned to look at her fellow Gryffindors. Ron’s face was covered with the mystery cure, and his red hair slicked back as well. He looked furious.
“We’ve got to plan revenge,” he said, his voice gaining an eerie pitch. “And it’s got to be smelly… and gooey… and… and… worse than this!” Ron grabbed his pillow and shoved it against his face, growling angrily. Madame Pomfrey came back over to him, reprimanding him and smearing more potion on his face. Ron looked especially dismal.
Harry had put his glasses on the desk beside him, and for the first time ever, his unruly hair was slicked back as well.
Hermione smirked at him. With his glasses off, Harry had these wide eyes that made him look owl-like.
“We finally found something that’ll tame your hair,” Hermione laughed. Harry got a crooked smile.
“Look at yourself!” Ron said smugly. “With your hair pulled back like that, you look just like McGonagall!”
Harry snorted with laughter as he and Ron exchanged a high-five.
Hermione pointed an accusing finger towards Ron, who had a drop of goo rolling off his chin. “You should talk!” Hermione stammered. “With your flaming red hair and your green face, you look like a Christmas ornament!”
Both Harry and Neville laughed so hard they nearly rolled off their beds. Ron crossed his arms, pouting.
“Oh, get off it!” Came a small voice. The four Gryffindors looked over to see a girl with curly, auburn hair and her arm in a sling looking at them with an arched brow.
Amy looked at all their green faces appraisingly. “Why don’t you lay off each other? It’s so irritating! If you don’t start coming up with an idea to get Malfoy and his buddies back, I’ll kick all your silly green arses!”
“Our bums aren’t green,” Neville said glumly. “Just our heads, thank Merlin!”
Hermione folded her legs up on her bed and rested her chin on her hand.
“So far, we know that the stuff Malfoy used to sabotage our potions is a herb called Thornmallow. Obviously it has properties that leave a semi-permanent color depending on its usage.
“Yawn!” Ron said sarcastically.
“Perhaps,” Hermione continued, “we could get them back in kind!” Hermione smiled proudly to herself. “If we can find a herb that has reddish properties, we can turn them into Gryffindor colours!”
Harry and Ron applauded and shook hands. It was a very good idea indeed, and very fitting.
Neville immediately began rummaging through his book-bag.
“I think I know of something,” Neville said hurriedly. He pulled out a large, rust-colored book and lay it open on his bed. It was his favorite book; an anthology of magical herbs and plantlife. Neville turned to the index, flipped through the pages, and held the book up for the others to see.
“This is Shady Crimson,” Neville said proudly. This was all fascinating to him. On the yellowed pages of the book in his hands, a delicate drawing of a leafy red weed was surrounded by faded text.
“Apparently,” he continued, “it only grows near large trees, and blooms mostly at night or in otherwise dark areas. It’s often used in sedative potions, but only after it’s been plucked, because the leaves have dye-like side effects!”
Hermione beamed. “That’s perfect! We’ll just have to sneak out tonight and look for some!”
“Would that be before or after detention?” Harry asked glumly.
Before Hermione could respond, a knock resounded in the room. Madame Pomfrey opened the door to reveal Luna standing idly in the doorway with a large tray of food.
“Brought your dinner,” she said airily. Ron practically dove off his bed
“Save some for the rest of us,” Harry cautioned, jumping off his bed as well.
Luna laid the tray on top of Hermione’s bed and the guys all pulled up chairs and started snatching at forks. Ron had a chicken leg in his mouth before a word was spoken.
“Thank you, Luna,” Hermione sighed. “It was so kind of you to think to bring us dinner!” Hermione elbowed Ron in the stomach, nearly causing him to choke on his chicken leg.
“Yesh, tanks,” Ron mumbled, chewing loudly.
Hermione laid a napkin on her lap before picking up a warm biscuit. “I do hope all the green is gone before detention,” she mused aloud. “I’d rather not hear any snide comments about it from Snape.”
Suddenly it occurred to Harry that Luna hadn’t asked yet why they all had green faces and gooey curative smeared over their faces and hair. She hadn’t even looked surprised.
“How did you hear about the potion mishap?” Harry asked, looking sideways at Luna as he swigged some pumpkin juice.
“What potion mishap?” She mused.
Hermione laughed. “Surely you’ve noticed were as green as grass!”
Luna shrugged. “I thought it would be impolite to mention it. But if I ever turn green, you'll let me know, won’t you?”
That evening, full-bellied and significantly less green, the four Gryffindors stood hesitantly outside Snape’s office door. Hermione took a deep breath and knocked on the heavy wood. When Snape opened the door, the smell of his dark, musty office filled the air. The four students, who still smelled a little of glue, tried not to crinkle their noses.
“Wands,” Snape said witheringly. Four wands were dropped into his hands. Suddenly, they became aware of the sound of footsteps pounded up behind them. It was Luna. They’d nearly forgotten that she’d earned permanent detention with Snape. Luna skidded to a stop, whipping her wand at Snape’s hand. It hit him smack in the chest and clattered to the floor.
“So sorry I’m late,” Luna said breathlessly. “Had to tuck Frankie in for the night.” Snape glared at her with his beady, black eyes. Neville dropped down suddenly and scrambled to pick up Luna's wand and placed it on top of the others in Snape’s open hand. He closed his fist immediately.
“Tonight, the five of you will be serving detention in the Herbology Greenhouses, picking Thornmallow to make up for that which was stolen from my private shelf.”
“That wasn’t us, and you know it!” Harry said defiantly.
“Another outburst like that, Potter, and you’ll be sharing indefinite detention with Miss Lovegood.” This made Luna smile excitedly, giving Harry a pat on the arm.
“Sir,” Hermione said as calmly as possible, “will you be providing us with gloves with which to pull the Thornmallow?”
Snape grimaced. “You know where the Greenhouses are. Get out of my sight. I’ll come for you in two hours time.”
With that, Snape retreated into his office and slammed the great wooden door in their faces.
Hermione looked over at her friends with a smile. “We’re going to the Greenhouses,” she whispered.
“What’s so great about that? Ron hissed.
“If we hurry, we could look around for some Shady Crimson….”
The Greenhouses were dimly lit with torches along the walkway. In the shadows, the vines that twisted along the walls looked sinister and threatening. Neville motioned them all after him, toward the third greenhouse. Nothing was visible through the glass, just plants of different kinds pressed against it.
"I think Professor Sprout keeps the Thornmallow in here," Neville stammered. "I know what it looks like, so I'll stay here to help pull it up. Hermione, you take Luna with you to find some Shady Crimson."
Hermione nodded. "We'll meet you guys back here!" She quickly grabbed Luna's hand and pulled her away from the greenhouses and out the main gate, which creaked with age. Hermione looked around. Over by Hagrid's hut there stood several very large trees... if there was any Shady Crimson, they'd likely be there.
As they sneaked up to the hut, Hermione and Luna crouched below the window and slowly rose their heads up, peeking inside. Hagrid was deep asleep, his dog Fang snoring at his feet.
"No need to wake him," Hermione whispered. Luna pulled an orange stick of candy from her pocket and tip-toed after Hermione wordlessly.
Finally, after ten minutes of searching in the dark, Hermione found a patch of Shady Crimson. She plucked several weeds from the ground, careful not to touch the leaves. After dropping them in her pocket, she and Luna ran quickly back to the greenhouses, beaming with victory.
Hours later, Harry, Ron, Neville and Hermione stepped into the Gryffindor common-room. Luna had gone back to her own, as she had recently become high in demand with her fellow Ravenclaws. Several students turned and looked in shock at the gang, who were quite disheveled.
All four of them still had a slight green hue to their skin which made them look rather sickly. Their faces were all caked with dirt and twigs stuck out of Hermione's bushy hair. But the weirdest part was that they were all grinning madly.
"Get in another fight with the Whomping Willow?" asked a pretty Asian girl, followed by some chuckles.
"Can't you tell, Roop?" Ginny replied as she arose from the couch. "Snape buried them alive and they dug themselves out!"
Roop tossed her long black hair and reached into her robes pocket, pulling out a handkerchief. She tossed it at Harry, who caught it instantly. His glasses were crooked and speckled with dirt, but still he smiled.
"Out with it!" Ginny exclaimed, giving her brother a shove. "I heard about what Malfoy and his monkeys did to you in potions, are you getting them back or not?"
Hermione nodded and reached into her pocket. She delicately pulled out a stalk of Shady Crimson from the stem, giving a shy smile towards Ron.