“Without a wish, without a will,
I stood upon that silent hill
And stared into the sky until
My eyes were blind with stars and still
I stared into the sky.”
- Ralph Hodgson
---
The night sky was twinkling with stars, each yellow dot winking down at Andromeda as she walked along the forgotten path. Weeds, having grown long from lack of care, brushed and snagged her robes, but she wasn’t concerned with that. Instead, Andromeda's focus was directed at the heavens.
As always on nights like this, her eyes sought the constellation with the same name as her own. After years of practice, she quickly found the picture looming overhead.
The cool November air whipped around her robes as she continued down the trail, the wind threatening every so often to whisk away her knitted scarf. Shivering slightly, Andromeda adjusted her cloak and then shifted her gaze away from her own constellation to another star.
It took her a moment to find what she was looking for, but the star “ Bellatrix, it was called “ refused to stay hidden for long. Andromeda smiled softly, thinking of the first time she had been shown this star and her own constellation.
The memory was one of Andromeda’s favorite, having happened when she was a little girl, seven or eight, perhaps. She had never been sure why it had stuck in her mind so clearly “ maybe because it was a rare moment of happiness she had found in the Black house. But whatever the reason, nights like this always brought her thoughts to that moment.
“An “ dro “ me-da!” Bellatrix called loudly, drawing out each syllable. “'Meda, come here, will you?”
Her sister’s request had surprised Andromeda greatly; normally Bella avoided her company at all costs. Curious and secretly pleased, Andromeda set down the book she had been reading in her room, and followed Bella’s voice outside on the upstairs balcony. She inched out into the cold night air, and asked timidly, “Bella? Did you want me for something?”
Her sister was leaning casually against the balcony rail, her back to Andromeda and her dark hair catching in the wind. Without turning she replied, “Yes. Come stand over by me; I want to show you something.”
Andromeda moved to where her sister was, and copied Bella’s position by the rail. Once settled, Andromeda had the chance to enjoy the fact that Narcissa wasn’t here as well. Her company and hers alone had been requested, making this rare moment with her sister even more special. “What did you want me to see?” Andromeda asked, watching Bellatrix out of the corner of her eye.
Bellatrix raised her arm and pointed to the left of Andromeda. “Look,” she said. “Do you see that star, the really bright one? It’s called Alph “ Alpher “” Bella paused, a look of consternation crossing her face. “Well, it’s that really bright one; I’ll ask Father what it’s called again later. But anyway, 'Meda, that star and the ones around it “ do you see? “ make up your constellation. It’s called Andromeda, like you, and it’s a picture of this really beautiful girl from a long time ago.”
Andromeda strained her eyes for a moment, struggling to see what Bella was talking about. Try as she might, she couldn’t find whatever her sister had seen. A few minutes passed before she finally admitted, “I don’t see it.”
“Don’t be stupid, 'Meda, it should be simple to find,” Bella said with an air of impatience. “It’s easier to see in November than any other time.” Bella raised her arm again and traced the constellation with her finger. “Look again “ it’s right there!”
It took a great deal of concentration, coupled with a fear of disappointing her sister, for Andromeda to finally find the picture in the sky. “I see it!” she exclaimed. “Bella, I found it!”
Bellatrix said nothing at first, only smiling slightly. Then, “Over there is my star. It’s called Bellatrix, you know.”
“Which one?” Andromeda asked, not taking her eyes off her constellation.
“There.” She pointed again, and this time Andromeda followed Bellatrix’s finger easily.
They stood outside for a little while longer, saying nothing, simply staring at the twinkling stars above them. The yellow lights had never seemed brighter or more colorful to Andromeda.
Another gust of frigid air rushed by Andromeda, and she was pulled out of the memory. The path she had been following for the past few minutes had finally ended, and gravestones had appeared in the tall grass all around her.
She made her way through the rows of graves, recognizing very few names. It was a family cemetery, but it was full of relatives Andromeda had never heard of. She had never been here before, and now found herself wondering who all these people had been. What were their stories?
Finally reaching the headstone she was searching for, she sighed and kneeled down onto the grass in front of it. The name Bellatrix Black Lestrange was etched into the gray slab, along with the dates and a platitude Andromeda felt couldn’t have described Bella less. She smiled softly at the thought of anyone calling her sister ‘beloved’ to her face.
The smile quickly faded into a frown as Andromeda glanced down at the small flower in her hand. It was from the tiny garden in her backyard, a marigold. The flower was a vibrant yellow, and she felt a bit like she was holding a star in her hands. And although she knew it would be a happy flower to anyone else, to her, it was just a reminder of all she had lost when it came to her older sister.
Settling into a sitting position on the grass, Andromeda was pulled deep into her thoughts. She felt old, older than her years would imply. The past six months since the final battle had been so hard. She had gladly raised Teddy, loving the child more than words could describe, but the hope he gave her couldn't quite heal the grief she still felt. Andromeda missed her husband and her daughter. She missed the friends she had lost, and -- Merlin help her -- she missed her sister too.
Andromeda knew it was absurd “ she had barely talked to Bellatrix in the twenty years before her death, and even before that, they had never been close. Save, perhaps, for that one night on the balcony so long ago. But in any case, can you really miss something you never really had in the first place?
Apparently so, Andromeda thought ruefully. Maybe you don’t have to like someone, or know them well, to love them.
Looking at the area around the grave, Andromeda could tell no one had been here since Bella had been buried just over six months ago. It didn’t surprise her, not really; after all, half of the wizarding world believed a Death Eater like Bellatrix Lestrange didn’t deserve a burial, let alone visits from the living victims she had left behind.
In all honesty, Andromeda had felt that way for most of the past months. Her older sister was part of the reason she had lost so many people, and it was easier to harbor anger and a grudge than to forgive. But all week, this day had been in Andromeda’s mind “ it was the fourteenth of November, Bella’s birthday. When the dawn had broke early that morning, she had known what she needed to do. It was time to let her anger go and allow herself to miss and mourn the sister she had lost long before the Final Battle.
Hands shaking almost unnoticeably, Andromeda leaned forward and set her yellow flower on the grave. As the vibrant, satiny petals clashed with the dull, grey stone, Andromeda felt as if she was setting down her grief and sadness and anger along with the single marigold. She hoped wherever her sister was, she knew she had been forgiven by one person, at least.
Andromeda felt tears prick in the corners of her eyes, and brushed them away with a bit more force than was really necessary. There’s no use crying, Andromeda, it’s time to move on.
Andromeda made one last swipe at her eyes, but it was useless as the tears were streaming down her cheeks uncontrollably now. Sniffling, she ran her fingers over her sister’s name engraved on the headstone and stood up slowly.
“Goodbye, Bella,” she whispered. “I miss you.”
And with one last glance at the gravestone and the lonely yellow flower lying on top, Andromeda began the long journey down the path, all the while keeping her eyes on her sister’s star.
Blind With Stars by solemnlyswear_x
Chapter Notes: A huge thanks to my beta, Ashley (whomovedmyquil)!