Disclaimer: The fine tapestry of plot and characters belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am merely pulling threads at will and weaving my own design in counterpoint to hers.
Chapter 10
The Annex
Harry arrived at Lupin’s office on Friday to find that Hermione was already seated across from the Professor’s desk.
“Come on in, Harry,” Lupin urged as he closed the door behind him.
Harry slipped into the chair next to Hermione and looked suspiciously at the open notebook in her lap.
“Hermione and I are just finishing up if you don’t mind.” Then sensing Harry’s bewilderment, Lupin added with a wink, “Hermione’s been teaching me some Muggle slang. A bit of the argot, so to speak.”
Hermione cleared her throat and resumed, “So she is definitely going to stick with ‘Tonks’ as both a surname and a first name?”
“So she tells me.” Lupin shrugged indulgently.
“Not add ‘Lupin’ as her last name as is customary?” clarified Hermione.
“I don’t think so. In case you haven’t noticed, Tonks isn’t much of a traditionalist.” With a smile, Lupin added, “Besides, it would cut down on a lot of confusion to not have two Professor Lupins running around here.”
Hermione acquiesced, “It does sound like a sensible choice when you couch it in such terms.”
Unconvinced, Lupin looked at her pointedly. “If you’re thinking that it bothers me that she hasn’t taken my name, you’re wrong. Such conventions are meaningless window-dressing.”
“All right,” Hermione intoned, “here’s a short list of other personages who have used a single name: Elvis.” To the befuddled expression on Lupin’s face, she added, “The American rock star…from the headmistress’ era.”
Lupin nodded gamely, taking it all in.
“Liberace,” she enumerated, “the pianist and entertainer, albeit from Dumbledore’s time.”
At Lupin’s blank stare, she supplied, “A bit light in the loafers.”
“I can’t say I’m familiar with that saying, either. Sorry,” Lupin volunteered humbly.
Harry bit his lip to keep from smiling as Hermione prompted, “Renowned for wearing the gaudiest sequined tuxedo jackets, practically blinding. Unmarried and shared his Hollywood mansion with his mother.”
“Ah, I see,” rejoined Lupin, holding up his hand to forestall her. “I better write these down.” Pulling out an old-fashioned fountain pen from his inside pocket, he patted the desk blotter and then peeked under the edge. “Now where is a stray bit of parchment when you need one?”
“Here, Professor,” Hermione offered, tearing the top sheet of bright yellow paper from her small pad and affixing it to the blotter. “These have an adhesive strip that makes them stay put.”
Lupin’s awed expression was so unexpected that she and Harry both could not help laughing.
“Here, take the whole pad, Professor. What better way to record Muggle slang that on a Muggle artifact!”
“Thank you, Hermione.” Lupin smiled. “You do realize that such an object is probably contraband--”
“Well, if you go by Filch’s list,” Harry announced, “just about everything is!”
Lupin nodded in agreement as he made quick notes. Turning to Hermione, he clarified, “That’s Elvis and Liberace, right?”
“Do you need me to spell it?” Hermione offered.
“It’s Italian, isn’t it?” To Hermione’s nod, Lupin added, “No need.”
“If you don’t mind me saying so, Professor,” Hermione began, “that’s a rather nice fountain pen you have in your hand. Is it an antique?”
Lupin appraised the pen slowly then handed it to her for a closer look. From the adjoining chair, Harry could see that the cylinder was made of a cream translucent material, alabaster would be his guess. The depth of the sparkle as Hermione turned it over in her hands hinted that it was probably gold.
“It was a wedding present from Tonks,” Lupin elaborated. “Said it came from a time when the Muggle world and wizarding world had not drifted so far apart… So, I suppose you’re right, Hermione, it must be an antique.”
Hermione placed it reverently on his upturned palm. “I believe that would be considered a Muggle artifact as well,” she concluded.
“Please continue,” Lupin implored merrily, “surely the lesson can’t be over this soon.”
Harry watched in awe as Hermione deftly enumerated a number of popular Muggle musicians and entertainers who commonly went by a single name. Lupin made copious notes on the yellow squares.
“You’re not familiar with any of these people, are you, Professor?” Harry observed quietly.
“Sorry, but no,” Lupin admitted with a small tilt of his head. “I don’t much keep up with Muggle music other than a bit of jazz here and there. Even so, I generally stick with the classics.”
“Well, if it’s classics you’re looking for, there’s always the Royals,” Hermione rejoined.
“You mean as in Tonks, Defender of Dark Arts?” Lupin supplied with a resounding laugh.
“Forgive me,” interjected Harry, “but that sounds like a comic book character. Probably a villainess decked out in all black leather by the sound of it.”
Hermione giggled unabashedly.
“I’ll save that for just the right moment then,” Lupin deadpanned with a wicked twinkle that he couldn’t completely hide. “What’s a comic book?”
Hermione quickly scribbled ‘graphic novels’ on the corner of her notebook then suggested, “We’ll save that for the next lesson, Professor, or Harry will never get his turn. Now if you two will excuse me, I promised the headmistress I would assist her with the cataloguing of her new library. Ciao!”
As Hermione swept out the door, Lupin pulled out his trusty pocket watch.
“It’s almost lunch time, Harry, what say we take a stroll down to the Three Broomsticks and get some real food? It’s a fabulous sunny day and a walk to Hogsmeade village will do us both some good. I feel like I’ve been cooped up in this castle forever!”
Harry was still savoring the last of Madam Rosmerta’s excellent steak-and-kidney pie when they left the pub. The bright autumn sunlight was startling after the cool darkness within; so much so, that it took a minute for him to realize that he was being hailed by one of the Weasley twins.
“Yo, Harry, what an expected surprise! And Professor Lupin, sure has been awhile,” the Weasley twin offered a hearty handshake.
“Good to see you, too. Is it Fred or George? I never could tell you two apart when you were in my class,” Lupin admitted candidly.
“It’s George today,” was the response, “but since we’re always trading duties back and forth, it might be Fred tomorrow. To tell you the truth, I’m thinking of settling on ‘Forge’ to avoid any embarrassment,” he added with a laugh.
“Is that what you’re having your new employees call you?” inquired Harry, smiling.
“I wish,” replied George. “They seem to be determined to refer to us both as ‘Mr. Weasley’ “ which means we never know which one of us they mean!”
Lupin chuckled at the absurdity of their predicament then commiserated, “I guess it’s just one of the perils of owning your own business, eh?”
George rolled his eyes in empathy. “So can I entice you gentlemen to a grand tour of our new premises?” he asked cordially as he ushered them into the new shop. “We’re still in the process of getting organized, but we’re open for business just the same. Can’t risk not being ready for that first Hogsmeade weekend, now can we?”
They ducked their heads under a banner that was still draped across the storefront. In trademark purple script, it read: WEASLEYS’ WIZARD WHEEZES. Blinking banners had been plastered diagonally across the window glass that proclaimed: “Don’t Let Our Dust Make You Wheeze “ We Are Open!” The interior was a scene of controlled mayhem as workers dashed back and forth with boxes to finish stocking the shelves. The noise of hammering could be heard from the back wall that was being refurbished to add additional niches.
As assortment of whirling and flashing devices, similar to those that Harry remembered from the Diagon Alley store, was being displayed inside a horizontal case in the middle of the room. Lupin’s attention was drawn magnetically to the case and he leaned over for a closer examination. George joined him and an animated discussion ensued concerning the uses and properties of each of the devices. Harry took the opportunity to wander about the room while doing his best to stay out of the trajectory of the work crew.
Noticing a large display of the Patented Daydream Charms, Harry was again struck by the sensationalism of the packaging. He was immediately reminded of the trashy romance novels that Aunt Petunia claimed she never read but surreptitiously hid behind the sofa cushions every time someone walked into the room. He gathered a couple of the most outrageous ones as a present to Tonks who would surely think that they were hilarious. He added a few additional items that looked promising and then took the basket over to the counter to ring-up.
He was embarrassed when George refused to take his money. After a bit of haranguing, he agreed to deduct the amounts “ minus a generous employee discount “ from Harry’s portion of the consultant’s fee.
“I’ll just have my assistant wrap these up for you in the back,” offered George to conclude the transaction. “You don’t mind if I add a few items that I need Hermione to look over, do you? Saves the bother of having to send them piecemeal by owl.”
“There is one other thing I’d like to ask you about,” began Lupin as George handed off the basket contents to a skinny lad with freckles. “Does my memory play tricks on me or did I see an announcement in the Daily Prophet concerning the engagement of your brother, Bill?”
“You bet, Professor,” offered George. “He’s fallen hopelessly for that French lass, Fleur Delacour. Surely, you remember her from last Christmas at the Burrow?”
Lupin shook his head glumly. “I was not at my best during those months,” he apologized.
George nodded sagely. “She and Bill kept to themselves in the corner a lot, so that doesn’t surprise me. Perhaps you might remember her from the Triwizard Tournament?” In a whisper, he added, “She was the one that kept coming in dead last.”
“Can’t say I remember her from that, either, but there was a very fetching picture of her in the Prophet,” Lupin said diplomatically. “I was abroad most of the summer holiday, though. Did the marriage ever take place?”
“They can’t seem to set a date,” confessed George. “The Ministry won’t give them a permit until they locate a site that meets the new stringent security protocols “ and with all the guests that Fleur is insisting upon…. Well, you see the problem. Too many wizards in one spot make for an ideal target, if you know what I mean.”
“I do indeed,” agreed Lupin. “Well, I’m sure true love will triumph in the end. Please convey my congratulations to him and keep me posted… By the way, could Fleur have been that young lady that was at Bill’s beside after he was attacked last year?”
“See, you do remember her,” George concluded with a wide grin.
“Can’t help but feel a bit of concern for Bill, though, seeing as how I once suffered a similar attack. Under vastly different circumstances, of course; I was a mere child,” Lupin clarified. “How is he recovering, if I might ask?”
George considered before replying, “He seems fine. Still has an appreciation for rare steak. Lately, he’s been complaining that he has to make more frequent trips to the barber; says Fleur doesn’t like it when his ponytail gets longer than hers.”
“I expect there are many men out there who would gladly suffer such an inconvenience,” remarked Lupin amicably. “Well, do give my regards to Fred and the rest of your family.”
“It was nice chatting with you, Professor,” George added. “I’m sure Hogwarts is glad to have you back. Excuse me, I see that Harry’s packages are ready.”
He returned with a large shopping bag inscribed with: “Dervish & Banges, quality purveyor of cauldrons and other magical necessities.” With a large wink, he volunteered, “Special services for Hogwarts students. I understand that Filch still has our products blacklisted, eh?”
“Oh, yes,” Harry replied, “he can’t wait to announce it gleefully at the start of every term!”
George chuckled agreeably. “Not to worry, Harry, we have the problem well in hand. The items that I’m sending Hermione are from our more serious line so they should not arouse any undue suspicion. As for purchases that are packaged in a more conspicuous manner, we have added extra measures.” Removing a flat box from the top of the bag, he demonstrated. A small wand tap in the corner transformed it into a heavy, leather-bound tome. George turned it around so that Harry could read the title. Hogwarts: A History was embossed in gold on the cover.
Harry looked up appreciatively. “That should make it past Filch’s radar.”
“Just one minute,” warned Lupin, “what’s to keep a dark wizard from smuggling dangerous substances into the school in this manner? You recall that Hogwarts was attacked last year “ and the breach came from within.”
“Got you covered,” George answered soothingly. “Just put your hand over the box like this “ you too, Harry. Can you feel that tingling? That will alert any witch or wizard of the charm. All they have to do is touch it with their wand and the box will dissolve entirely. But a talentless Squib like Filch will be totally fooled.”
“Don’t you think that Filch will become suspicious when students keep returning from Hogsmeade with copies of Hogwarts: A History?” observed Lupin pointedly. “He may be a Squib, but he’s hardly a moron!”
“One step ahead of you, Professor,” George declared proudly. “We have a variety of titles to choose from and students can even make up their own. Hogwarts: A History is just the first one we used -- sort of as a tribute to Hermione.”
“I’m sure she’ll get a kick out of it,” Harry assured him in thanks.
With a final flourish, George magically stamped the shopping bag with purple block letters that spelled out “ANNEX” right next to the Dervish & Banges logo. “That way our customers will know the goods are from us,” he explained with a wink.
Handing the overflowing bag to Harry, he ushered them to the door.
“One last thing, if I may.” Lupin’s voice was laced with merriment. “And you have to know that I am a great admirer of your business acumen… But how did you get Dervish & Banges to go along with your little subterfuge?”
“That’s the beauty of it,” George confided. “Turns out that Mr. Dervish is an old friend of my dad’s. When I explained our difficulties, he was more than happy to oblige. His firm gets an extra bit of exposure in return “ I believe they call that a ‘win-win’ situation.”
Lupin was still chuckling as they left the quaint thatched cottages of Hogsmeade behind. “Those two really are geniuses when it comes to business matters,” e mused.
They reached the first rise in the path leading back to Hogwarts castle. The afternoon sunlight draped the surrounding woods in the glorious autumn shades of gold and umber.
“Why don’t we stop here and go over your assignment?” Lupin suggested as he settled himself comfortably on an old hollow log and looked up at Harry expectantly.
Harry shrugged off his packages and retrieved a small roll of parchment from his book bag. He leaned casually against the broken trunk and began his recitation. He started out in a hesitant manner, but then gained more confidence as he realized that it really wasn’t much different than having a regular conversation. Lupin would interrupt him periodically to clarify a particular point or ask a pointed question but basically he just listened.
Within the space of fifteen minutes, Harry expounded upon his full knowledge of twin magical devices. There had been sparse enough information concerning these items even in the restricted section since they seemed to have fallen out of vogue decades before. Harry had found one book that explained how the mystical resonances of the twin objects had to be maintained at all costs; twin mirrors must be cut from the same piece of glass, twin cabinets must be constructed from the wood of the same tree, etc. He was able to find no information about the charms that actually made such objects work. Lupin suggested that it was likely that these were guarded as trade secrets by the companies that had produced the various items for sale.
“I even asked one of the clerks at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes if they had any such objects in stock,” concluded Harry, “but he told me that they didn’t.”
“That’s too bad,” commented Lupin thoughtfully. “It might have made for an interesting experiment to try to determine what made them tick.”
“You mean like reverse engineering?”
“I’ve never heard that term before, Harry. Is it another example of Muggle slang?” Lupin asked with peaking interest.
“Not exactly, but it’s definitely a Muggle expression. I think I would call it techno-babble,” Harry replied carefully as he noticed Lupin making a hurried notation in the small yellow pad.
Remembering bitterly how Draco Malfoy had managed to repair the broken Vanishing Cabinet the year before, Harry was more determined than ever to achieve a similar understanding of the subject matter. In one dusty volume, he had located an admonition that it was better to discard the broken twin that to attempt to repair it. The author claimed that the bond that the objects shared initially had been irreparably broken and that it was almost certain that the repaired object would no longer work in proper tandem with the other.
After listening to Harry’s narrative, Lupin suggested, “You shouldn’t be too hard on yourself, Harry. It is very likely that Draco had outside help from a less than honorable source. Who knows what ancient volumes of dark magic Mr. Borgin consulted before advising Draco on how to make repairs “ and still it took Draco almost an entire year before he managed it!” He paused to consider, then continued, “What I would like to know is how Draco ever located the broken cabinet in the first place?”
“Dunno,” Harry rejoined, “I’ve often wondered if it was just dumb luck. Malfoy never struck me as a deep thinker.”
“People can often surprise you and Draco was obviously motivated to succeed “ or else. Assuming that it was just serendipity that led him to the cabinet, what was he doing in the Room of Requirement in the first place?”
“I think I see where you’re going with this, Professor,” Harry offered. “I could not get the room to admit me until I had need of a hiding place, yet it had obviously been used as a dumping ground for years. Certainly that’s where Professor Trelawney was hiding her empty sherry bottles when she overheard Malfoy celebrating success. But if Malfoy came across the cabinet accidentally, then what was his original objective in that room?”
“My thoughts exactly…although I could very well ask you the same question,” Lupin replied pointedly. “But let’s leave that for now and get back to the twin mirrors. Did you remember to bring the broken pieces?”
Harry dug the hastily wrapped bundle from his book bag. “I have a copy of the instructions that I received as well,” he offered, handing Lupin a scrap of parchment.
Seeing Sirius’ sentiments so clearly brought an unexpected lump to Lupin’s throat. Harry instantly regretted having included the part that referred to using the mirrors with James during separate detentions; at least he’d had the presence of mind to not bring the original note in Sirius’ handwriting.
A few quiet moments passed and then Lupin asked softly, “Did you ever use the mirrors while Sirius was still around?”
Harry shook his head glumly. “I was so afraid that any attempt to contact him would just lure him into the open…” he explained miserably. There was no need to finish the statement; they both knew what had happened the night that Sirius had finally left the safety of Grimmauld Place.
“It does no good to dwell in the past, Harry,” Lupin offered in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Let’s say we take a stab at getting the mirror back to working order instead?” Turning the package over in his hands he added, “Based on the instructions, it seems that the mirror will display the image and voice of the person holding it at the other end. It is unclear whether both mirrors will hold the same image at the same time. Does this analysis seem correct to you?”
Thinking briefly of Ron’s Evil Eye Detector, Harry nodded in agreement.
“All right then,” concluded Lupin, “since we have no idea where the mirror’s twin may be, prudence dictates that we will want to remain out of the line of sight. I have an idea.” He leaned over the side of the log and carefully placed the mirror shards inside its mossy interior.
Harry rearranged the shards so that they resembled puzzle pieces just waiting to be assembled. He double-checked that each piece was reflecting the wood of the log interior. He moved out of the way as Lupin intoned from a short distance away, ”Reparo!” and pointed his wand directly at the glass shards.
It took a number of attempts to get all the pieces to mend together but in the end they succeeded. Lupin stopped Harry from reaching into the log prematurely. Shaking his head slightly, he suggested, “Let’s try it out from here.”
“Hello, hellooo, is anyone there?” Harry repeated over and over but the mirror continued to reflect only wood bark. “There’s no telling if it will ever work again, Professor.”
“Nonetheless, it remains a potentially magical object,” Lupin warned, “and we should exercise caution when handling it.”
Careful not to expose his face to the mirror’s reflection, Lupin kneeled by the fallen tree and wrapped the mended mirror in the same discarded newspaper. Then presenting the package to Harry, he instructed, “Keep this somewhere safe and continue to attempt to establish a connection with the person on the other side. The bottom of a bureau drawer would be ideal: you can just pull out the drawer minimally in order to not be seen. Your assignment will be to keep a log of your attempts, including the time of day and any results that you obtain. Remember that our goal is to first determine where the mirror’s twin may be. You should not establish contact with the person on the other end until you determine whether they are friend or foe, is that understood?”
At Harry’s curt nod, Lupin concluded the day’s lesson and set their next appointment for the following week.
They arrived at the school grounds to find the gates closed and Filch, the caretaker, pacing impatiently.
“What took you so long, Professor?” Filch growled. He quickly scanned Harry’s body with his Secrecy Sensor. As he looked their packages over, however, a most unpleasant snarl settled over his face. “Everything seems to be in order,” he grumbled.
Thanking him pleasantly, Lupin was about to proceed up the grass slope to the castle when Filch grabbed him by the arm. “Just one minute there, Professor, new regulations require that I establish your identity.”
Filch’s infamous cat, Mrs. Norris, was sinuously snaking back and forth across the path ahead as if to block their entrance.
Lupin sighed in resignation. With only a moment’s hesitation, he extended his wand and commanded, "Expecto Patronum!” A scintillating giraffe galloped forth.
Checking his list, Filch grudgingly let the two of them past. Thinking back on the stringent security measures they had endured at the Three Broomsticks, Harry was surprised that Filch had not manufactured any other pretext for further delay.
“By the way, Mr. Filch,” Lupin offered in his most genial tones, “you may want to double-check Harry’s Patronus as well. It was duly noted during his O.W.L. examination two years ago that his takes the form of a stag.”
Filch’s eyes narrowed dangerously but Lupin urged Harry to demonstrate. Harry’s face screwed up in concentration as he produced a glistening stag; a shape that perfectly mirrored the Animagus form that his father, James, had assumed in life.
Mumbling something about have to consult with the headmistress, Filch hastily reclosed the massive gates and trudged up the hill in the opposite direction. He was barely out of ear shot when Lupin started chuckling.
“What was that all about?” Harry inquired pointedly.
Slapping Harry’s back in a jovial fashion, Lupin admitted with a laugh, “Forgive me, Harry, for putting you on the spot like that. Filch’s totalitarian tactics have been annoying me since the day I first set foot in this school. Now that I’m a teacher, I can’t help but get under his skin in little ways. Just call it a case of arrested development.”
Hermione greeted Harry just inside the entrance to the seventh-year common room. He presented her with the bag from the “annex” and briefly explained the clever methods that Fred and George were employing this year.
“I’d expect no less from the enterprise that once packaged love potions as cough remedies,” she replied with a sharp laugh.
She couldn’t wait to hear news of Madam Rosmerta and how she seemed to have fully recovered from being victimized by the Imperius Curse last term. Harry detailed the security measures that had been put in place at the pub to prevent such a tragedy from recurring.
“Good thing, too,” Hermione observed. “She wouldn’t want students to be afraid to visit the Three Broomsticks during Hogsmeade weekends. The Hog’s Head just isn’t the same.”
Harry nodded his agreement, then asked, “I’ve hardly seen you all week. How is your new advisor working out?”
“Oh, Professor Hooch and I turn out to have a lot in common,” she replied airily.
“You mean since she’s going to be in charge of Muggle Studies?”
Hermione gasped. “Who told you? It’s supposed to be a secret!”
“What’s a secret?” Ron interjected as he walked up behind them. “The fact that Professor Hooch is going to be taking over Muggle Studies? Naw, just saw the announcement on the main bulletin board. There’s already a crowd around the sign-up sheet.”
Harry Potter and the Hero's Lament by L A Moody
Chapter Notes: Harry gets a taste of Lupin’s rather unorthodox teaching style; roles are reversed when Hermione presents a lesson in Muggle slang.