Disclaimer: The fine tapestry of plot and characters belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am merely pulling threads at will and weaving my own design in counterpoint to hers.
Chapter 5
Tonks Triumphant
Promptly at half past one, Ginny rapped on their compartment window as she worked her way down the aisle to Compartment D. The four of them arrived en masse before the closed door. Being the last cubicle on that railcar meant that Compartment D was sandwiched between the lavatory and the walkway into the next car. As a result, it was configured in such a way that the sole interior window was on the door itself.
The blinds had been drawn on the window, so Hermione knocked tentatively. The door was opened wide to admit them and they saw the familiar features of Remus Lupin peeking out from behind.
“Come on in, folks,” he offered genially. “Tonks just went to get some butterbeer.”
They squeezed themselves past the door and into the cramped compartment. A large oval table, complete with bright cloth, had been wedge between the benches making it look like a dining booth from a restaurant. From the far bench, Lupin began arranging an extensive array of square white boxes on the tabletop. Then with a flourish of his wand, he touched the tip to the knotted string on each box. Magically the string receded, the boxes unfolded their sides and seemed to dissolve into the tablecloth. In their wake, they left tray after tray of delectable tea sandwiches, meat pasties, cheese, fruits, and in the center, a glistening chocolate cake sprinkled liberally with snowy coconut curls.
“I discovered a true kitchen witch tucked into a little corner of Soho,” offered Lupin conversationally. “Must have walked past her shop a dozen times before I realized what it was. She actually told me that the dingy exterior is meant to discourage Muggles.”
He chuckled at this before continuing, “Did you see the stand that she set up just inside Platform Nine and Three-Quarters this morning? No, I guess you wouldn’t have if you came with Tonks. She’d totally sold out and packed up her display by ten or so. It was a regular feeding frenzy for a while.”
“I saw quite a few white boxes while I was working my way down from the front,” confirmed Ginny. “Looks like picnics are going to be all the rage this year.”
Without warning, the compartment door swung open to admit Tonks, hair a bright yellow halo, bearing such a large rack of butterbeers that she could hardly squeeze between the door and the table.
“The beverage service has arrived,” she announced. “Let the party begin!”
Harry and Ron helped her to settle the wooden rack on the floor. It partially blocked the door, but it would have to do for now. Harry couldn’t help but notice that she had changed outfits again. Underneath her open school robes, she was decked out in the requisite dark jumper and striped tie of Hufflepuff House, complete with tartan wool skirt in the brightest shades of yellow and black imaginable. Ron’s eyes widened to see that the skirt barely reached to the top of her black thigh boots.
Oblivious to the boys’ appraising looks, Tonks was merrily handing out butterbeers all around.
“I wish you wouldn’t do that, Tonks,” Lupin whispered tersely as he eyed her outfit. “It’s unseemly. You can’t very well guard the sheep if you keep getting mistaken for one of the flock.”
“Oh, you’re just jealous that you can’t fit into your old school attire anymore,” she retorted happily. Harry noticed that her boots had vanished and the plaid kilt had been replaced by dark leather jeans.
“I don’t even have my school things anymore,” Lupin replied. “I swear you never throw anything out. Who keeps old clothes lying around like that, anyway?”
“Why, lots of Muggles do,” offered Hermione in defense of Tonks. “My cousin in America told me that her parents keep all sorts of stuff in the attic. They go with their friends to fancy dress balls every Halloween.”
“Oooh, what a great idea!” Ginny spoke up. “Sounds just like what we need at Hogwarts!”
“You know, Ginny, you’re right,” agreed Hermione. “We already have a Halloween feast; add some costumes, a little music, and you’ll have a party.”
“That sounds fabulous!” Tonks’ face lit up as she scooted onto the bench next to the girls. “Have any idea what we could do with ole Remus here?” She motioned across the table with her head.
“I know just the thing,” Hermione’s eyes twinkled as she answered. Then putting her hand up to shield her words from view across the table, she mouthed her suggestion to Ginny and Tonks. Instantly, the other two dissolved into peals of laughter.
Harry, who had ended up perched on a large trunk at the end of the table, had a slightly less obscured view of Hermione’s lips. He thought she had mouthed the words “Roman gladiator”, but he couldn’t be sure.
In between mouthfuls of sandwich, Harry addressed Lupin directly. “So what subject will you be teaching at Hogwarts, Professor?”
“Well, that’s actually a rather interesting story,” drawled Lupin. “So good in fact, that it would not do it justice to start with the conclusion.”
He waited until all heads had turned in his direction before continuing, “A little background information is in order, I suppose. By now you all know that the Order had sent me on a special mission to infiltrate the ranks of the feral werewolves. They were not a welcoming bunch “ although we did not realize that this was greatly in part to the strong ties that Fenrir Greyback had with the Malfoy family. Then after the direct attack on Hogwarts--”
Harry noticed how artfully Lupin sidestepped any mention of Dumbledore’s murder.
“”well, it wouldn’t do to be recognized by one of my former pupils, now would it?”
Taking a deep breath, Lupin ploughed on, “So my assignment was pulled. When I got back to my flat, I found a most intriguing document in my letterbox. A letter from Albus Dumbledore…”
Lupin paused for the awed reaction of his listeners.
“…and it was dated two months before his death! I wish I had the actual letter to pass around,” he confessed. “It would add so much more weight to my story. But unfortunately, the parchment was charmed to evaporate once I had read it through to the end. All that was left behind was a large ornate key with the name of an estate agent at Gringotts. I worried that the agent, Marleybones, would not believe my story, but the key was all the assurance he needed. Predicting that my mission would be ending soon, Dumbledore had left me the key to a very unique vacation rental. And because Dumbledore had not been able to get away for the past few years, I was entitled to a whole five weeks.”
“You mean that Dumbledore left you the key to his time-share?” asked Hermione skeptically.
“Ah, but it wasn’t just a time-share,” admitted Lupin with a twinkle in his eye. “Unplottable, unreachable, practically invisible if you didn’t have the key strung ‘round your neck. Located near the rim of a rumbling volcano. The nights were often aglow from the churning lava miles below.”
“Tell them the story behind it,” urged Tonks excitedly.
Lupin’s voice assumed a secretive timbre. “It was a house that had belonged to a great wizard. In a moment of weakness, the wizard had agreed to help out some Muggle friends of his, a cinematographer and his wife, who were making a great epic film about a greater-than-life wizard.”
“You mean a real wizard appeared in a Muggle movie?” Ron was speechless.
“No, no,” Lupin quickly assured him. “It would never do for a wizard to risk the recognition of Muggles everywhere. He became the personal consultant to the actor who played the part of the wizard.”
“Well, if the actor fellow is who I think it is,” interrupted Ginny, “The Quibbler claims he’s a Squib!” She looked up to Lupin for confirmation.
“You know the enchantments on the house prevent me from divulging any details,” shrugged Lupin, without sounding the least bit regretful.
“If it’s who I think it is,” Hermione supplied, “the Muggle tabloids reported he was a--” The rest of her words were lost as she whispered directly into Ginny’s ear. Ginny’s eyes widened briefly before the two girls dissolved into giggles.
“You know that would make a great subject for a Muggle Studies essay,” suggested Hermione as soon as she was able to speak. “The Nature of Scandal in Muggle versus Wizarding Societies.”
“I thought you dropped Muggle Studies,” observed Ron.
“I did,” replied Hermione, “but it would almost be worth taking up again just to see the expression on the teacher’s face.”
Tonks, who had no trouble following their logic, joined in the laughter.
“Oooh, if I could just be a fly on that wall,” Tonks added wistfully. “Is old Jeremy Farquar still teaching Muggle Studies? He must have been 140 in my day.”
“Naw,” Ginny answered with barely suppressed glee, “Professor Farquar is his son. So he must be at least 120!”
More laughter ensued.
“Are they always like this when they get together?” Lupin inquired of the boys.
“It’s Ginny and Tonks,” explained Ron. “Mum always says that they are the female equivalent of Fred and George.”
Lupin winced noticeably. “That’s quite an indictment, you know.”
They nodded in mock agreement before the infectious laughter got the best of them also.
“It took a bit of persuasion to get the Order to agree to my leave request,” Lupin resumed his tale. “And they were absolutely uncompromising when it came to the precaution that all wizards travel in groups. Not to mention that I still needed to brew the Wolfsbane Potion before every full moon. So the Order assigned me the best potion maker in their ranks--” he hesitated for dramatic emphasis as Harry bitterly remembered that such distinction had once belonged to Severus Snape. “None other than Tonks!”
“All this time I thought you were a terrible cook,” gasped Ginny.
“Oh, I am,” admitted Tonks. “World’s worst, positively dreadful. But it turns out that a potion doesn’t have to taste good in order for it to be effective.”
“In the end, it was the absolute remoteness of the site that convinced the Order that it would be relatively safe for two persons to make the journey alone. It took quite a bit of convincing to get the rental agent to issue a second key, though,” Lupin chuckled at the memory. “I remember Alastor Moody actually offering to jinx him in quite a colorful manner if he didn’t comply.”
“Er, Professor, just what sort of jinxes do you use on a goblin?” inquired Ron.
“We weren’t sure, either,” admitted Tonks. “I’m just glad that Moody insisted that each of us have our own key. Turns out you can’t even see the house if you don’t have the ruddy key on your person somehow.”
To their incredulous stares, she continued, “The first night I took off the chain to keep it from bonking the lavatory when I brushed my teeth. Looked up and all the walls had gone transparent on me. Couldn’t even find the counter or the door to the next room. All I could do was stumble around bumping into invisible objects. I could still feel the floor beneath my feet, but when I looked down it was as if I was suspended above a boiling cauldron of lava!”
“Luckily, I heard her screams from the next room,” Lupin added, “so I was able to locate her key and drape it around her neck before she’d totally shrieked herself out.”
Tonks laughed good-naturedly. “Never did have much of a head for heights. Here, I have some pictures,” she added, passing the moving images around. “See this one here.” She pointed to a spectacular shot of a volcano mouth spitting rock fragments into the night sky like fireworks. “You can just see the edge of the house there.” She pointed to the far right of the frame, but Harry could not make out anything but the lip of the volcano.
“I don’t think they can see it,” explained Lupin, gazing intently at the image. “Must be part of the concealment charms. It looks a lot fainter to me, as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if it continued to fade from the pictures as the image fades from our memories.”
Tonks then handed Harry a shot of herself on an unblemished beach, waving wildly from atop a huge sea turtle. Moving pictures followed of Tonks snowboarding down a craggy slope, tumbling merrily into a snowdrift, and a wobbly attempt at windsurfing on a pristine mountain lake.
“Oh, here’s one of you,” she said, nodding to Lupin as she peered at a silhouetted form backlit by lava and the full moon above. “I even managed to perfect Remus’ potion thanks to some unique ingredients that were suggested to me by the local medicine man.”
“That’s right,” added Lupin as she handed him the image. “Not only does this new formula minimize the debilitating effects, but it even allows me to endure direct exposure to the full moon for more than a few seconds without being totally overcome by pain. It’s a truly unique recipe!”
“What I don’t understand, Professor,” interrupted Hermione, “is how can you be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts when everyone knows that position is cursed?”
“Now that’s never actually been proven,” he replied mischievously. “But anyway, I’ll be teaching Transfigurations.”
“But how--” began Hermione.
“You see McGonagall first offered the position to me,” Tonks said, taking over the narrative, “but I turned her down. Never was much good at transfiguring anything other than myself --and that’s not a skill you can teach. A Metamorphmagus has to be born with the talent. So I suggested Remus here as an alternative. She wasn’t immediately sold on the idea even though I showed her this,” she jabbed her finger at the photo of the sea turtle, “but she finally came around when she saw him in person.”
Harry looked up in sudden realization. “You’ve become an Animagus,” he stated in awe.
Lupin nodded, smiling. “I always figured that if the other Marauders could learn to do it, I could, too. But I’d never had the study time to devote to it before now.”
“Do you realize just how rare it is for an Animagus to assume the shape of a reptile?” Hermione interjected. “Why insects are rare enough, but I’ve never even heard of anyone else being registered as a reptile.”
“They told him he was the first at the Ministry office,” Tonks supplied.
“I think that’s what convinced McGonagall in the end,” admitted Lupin. “That and actually witnessing the metamorphosis for herself.”
“So how does all this translate into ‘Tonks’ triumphant return’?” inquired Ginny. “That is what the invitation promised us, isn’t it?”
Tonks and Lupin exchanged conspiratorial looks. “You tell them,” Lupin urged.
“Remus and I got married!” declared Tonks, beaming. “A true tropical ceremony officiated by the local shaman.”
Amid the showers of congratulations offered to the new couple, Harry riffled through the photo images that were scattered over the tabletop. He pulled out an image that showed a trio of figures in front of a native hut amid a lush tropical background. Peering at the figures, he could discern a short man, blue-black of skin, wearing curtains of bright necklaces that came to the top of his loincloth. To the right was a female figure with a long plait of black hair, her body wrapped in a flowered native cloth. Could this be Tonks? He focused on the tall figure that stood behind, holding an upright spear in his left hand. His skin was a bronze shade considerably lighter than that of the woman and old man. Other than a number of thick orchid necklaces draped around his neck, his sole piece of clothing was a bright piece of cloth tied sarong-fashion around his waist. Could this be Lupin?
“There’s the photo,” Tonks declared as she passed it from Harry to the others in the group. “I’m calling it ‘Tropical Gothic’ in light of the solemn expressions.”
“Is that really you?” gasped Ginny.
“You betcha. I can go native with the best of them,” admitted Tonks proudly. “I should see about getting that shot enlarged, though. Remus insisted that the photographer take a wide shot so that the swaying of the jungle vegetation could be seen.”
“It was a very unusual ceremony, too,” volunteered Lupin, clearly anxious to change the subject. “There were a number of qualifying trials that were surprisingly similar to those used in wizard tournaments; although on a much smaller scale, of course. One of them even involved walking barefoot across a bed of hot coals.”
“We both had to do that one,” Tonks added. “The shaman insisted that we had to demonstrate that we had the necessary fortitude for marriage.”
“Blimey,” Ron blurted, “can you just imagine Fleur having to do such a thing? I mean, Bill could do it….”
“I think that Veela have wings, Ron,” Harry reminded him with a laugh. “Or she’d find some other way around it, for sure.”
“But neither of you are wearing any wedding rings,” observed Hermione pragmatically.
“That’s not really the native custom,” explained Lupin.
Tonks pulled back her shirt sleeve to reveal an elaborate set of silver bracelets entwined with a delicate network of chains. “They have wedding cuffs.”
“You mean like hand-cuffs?” Ron suggested merrily.
“Not exactly.” Tonks’ tone was laced with amusement. “The women’s cuff is designed to show off the daintiness of her wrist, while the men’s cuff demonstrates his prowess by encircling the muscles of his upper arm.” She looked expectantly at Lupin. “Aren’t you going to roll back your sleeve and show them?” she asked gazing at his battered tweed jacket.
“Absolutely not,” declared Lupin with as much dignity as he could muster amid the laughter. “They will have to make do with the image in the photograph.”
“So, who’s going to be taking over the Dark Arts class?” asked Ron doggedly.
“I am,” declared Tonks proudly. “And don’t go worrying about that curse, either,” she warned. “I won’t be able to take leave of my Auror duties for more than a year, no matter how you look at it. Besides, what kind of an example would I be setting for the female students if my only claim to fame was as a professor’s wife?” she added patting Lupin’s hand reassuringly. “I’ve always wanted to train my own unit of elite commandos,” she announced with a sly reference to Dumbledore’s Army. “A girl’s got to have a few accomplishments under her own belt, you know.”
Harry Potter and the Hero's Lament by L A Moody
Chapter Notes: A few surprises as Tonks recounts her adventures over the summer.