Disclaimer: The fine tapestry of plot and characters belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am merely pulling threads at will and weaving my own design in counterpoint to hers.
Chapter 64
Facing the Music
Flitwick offered to Floo the Headmistress describing exactly where they’d be while the rest of them set off for the dungeons, Lupin briefing Ron and Hermione en route. They came upon the all too familiar hunkering doorway from a different direction, but there was no doubt in Harry’s mind. Rust from the tarnished metal supports still seemed to mark the facing wall with the bloodstains of some mythological beast.
“I think we may have a problem, Professor,” Harry volunteered once they’d taken the last labyrinthine turn. “I’ve been here before. Remember those ill-fated Occlumancy lessons?”
“Right,” Lupin concurred. “I’ll just put you in the control group that is aware of the location.” He ushered them into a small anteroom where a secretary or assistant might have sat. It had the same disused feeling that Harry recalled. “Here’s how we set it up….:” Lupin proposed. “Hermione, please put down your quill; none of this gets committed to paper.”
“But how--” she began, then stopped at Lupin’s stern expression. “Commit to memory, right.”
“As a matter of fact, thank you for reminding me,” Lupin added with a smile in Hermione’s direction. He flicked his wand towards the massive door and locked it, a single wall sconce leaping to life in the same motion.
It didn’t help, Harry thought morosely. They were still trapped inside the maw of the beast as he had come to think of it. Each gruesome outline that danced maliciously along the rough walls just dredged up more unpleasant memories of humiliation and iniquity. Beyond the next door was a generously sized workroom that made up the main office. He also recalled that there was a smaller inner office Snape had used for his private store of potion ingredients.
“But the Headmistress--” Neville protested.
“She’ll knock,” Lupin rejoined. “Ron, you’re closest to the door, would you please add the Muffliato?.... Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached the moment of truth. Once inside the next room, our discoveries become the property of the Order. I wouldn’t speak so openly if the lot of you didn’t know more than you should already. Neville’s and Ron’s parents are full-fledged members, as you well know. All of you are of age to decide; it’s members only beyond this point.”
“I thought membership required the entire group--” Ron protested.
“Exceptions can be made,” Lupin returned.
“But that would have to mean...” Neville interceded.
Lupin raised an eyebrow while he waited for Neville to arrive at his conclusion. Harry watched the realization dawn on each face as Hermione whispered in his ear, “So I was right, after all.”
“I think you’d be used to that by now,” Harry muttered in an undertone that only she could hear.
“I’m in,” Hermione announced to the group at large.
“In.”
“In.”
“Going to be the last hold-out, Harry?” Lupin shone the Marauder’s grin in his direction.
“No, Remus, I’m not.” Harry smiled as he offered Lupin his handshake. “You’ve had me from the beginning.”
With quick efficiency, Lupin outlined the roles they each would play. He was going to set the charm on the small inner office and designate himself as Secret-Keeper. A bit unorthodox, but they were short on bodies. Inside the main office, he would tell the location directly to Ron. Neville was to be in the same room, but facing away as an extra deterrent. He would overhear. Harry and Hermione would be in the control group that waited in the anteroom and would not know the secret.
“Any possibilities that I excluded?” Lupin posed, but no one could think of any. “Excuse me one moment while I set the charm.”
With a slash of his wand, Lupin unlocked the door to the main office and immediately closed it behind him. He emerged moments later, just in time to hear a soft knock from the door leading to the corridor.
“Remus, it’s me, Minerva.” The Headmistress’ voice was strangely muffled through the reinforced wood.
In two bounds, Lupin unlocked the door to permit the Headmistress to join them in the anteroom.
“I don’t suppose I have to ask whether she’s a member,” Neville remarked dryly.
“Did you invoke privilege, Remus?” the Headmistress asked. Then noting the eager faces surrounding her, she added, “So Neville came through for us.”
“Yes, he did,” Lupin asserted with a wide smile, “and in the most spectacular way! We’re here to test whether the Conundrum has actually been solved.”
“I didn’t dare hope!” she cried as she clapped her hands together happily.
Briefly, Lupin recounted the protocols for her benefit and then requested to borrow her key to the inner office where Snape’s personal documents had been moved. “I promise not to touch anything. I have the utmost respect for someone else’s intellectual property,” he assured her.
“Severus always had such potential…” the Headmistress added as she withdrew a large wrought iron key from her pocket. “I will watch the proceedings to make sure there are no loopholes that we may have overlooked as we visualized the relationships. I don’t think you casting the charm and also serving as the Secret-Keeper will matter in this case, Remus. That is often done in reality, anyway.”
Making sure that the corridor door was secure, Lupin led Neville and Ron into the main office. They returned momentarily to announce that the preliminaries had been completed.
“Now for the rest of you, please.” Lupin held the door open wide.
The main office was just as Harry remembered it: the walls so darkly painted that it was as if they absorbed the light from the bracketed candles. One whole wall was devoted to nothing but ominous specimens in all manner of glass jars; Snape must have used these to replenish those in his classroom. The other walls were crammed with books and periodicals stuffed into every available shelf. The small desk he remembered was gone, but there were still a few chairs scattered randomly about the room, the low worktable where Snape used to brew his potions pushed against the side wall. McGonagall promptly seated herself majestically as if assuming a throne.
“Harry, you’ve been in this room before today, correct?” Lupin established.
“Yes, some of Professor Snape’s Occulmancy lessons were conducted here.”
“Have you ever gone beyond this room? Deeper into the castle?” Lupin asked.
“No, I was never admitted into the inner office,” Harry attested.
“But you were aware that an inner office existed?”
“Of course, the closed door was visible…” Harry trailed off uncertainly. Was his memory playing tricks on him? He had been supremely distracted during many of his sessions with Snape, and it had been two years ago, but he was almost certain the door had been in the opposite wall. Now it was covered with book shelves. Looking hastily around at the other walls, he failed to see a door, either.
“Your memories don’t match what’s before you, do they?” Lupin surmised.
“Could the room have been renovated?” Harry asked in desperation.
“No, it hasn’t been,” McGonagall replied with conviction. “But I, too, can’t see a door where I remember it to be without question.”
With a sigh of relief, Harry waited for Lupin’s next move.
“Hermione, you’ve never been in this room before, am I correct?” Lupin asked.
“Never even knew where the door in the corridor led,” she responded with aplomb.
“To the best of your perception, is there any indication that this suite of offices does not end right here?”
Dutifully, Hermione walked the circumference of the workroom, even ran her hands along the bookshelf that now stood where Harry was certain the door had been before.
“Unless there are secret doors of some sort, the only way out of this room seems to be through the door by which we entered,” she stated unequivocally.
“Ron, as Secret-Keeper, I have attested to the location of the inner room which I have sought to hide. Without pointing it out, is it clearly visible to you?”
“Yes.”
“Neville, you have stood in this same room with Ron and me and overheard the words that I spoke to him. Yet I didn’t address those words to you as you had your back turned to us. Can you see the location of the inner room?”
“Yes.”
“Will you please describe what you see for those present?”
“Certainly,” Neville complied. “There is a door with a pane of glass in it. You cannot see past the glass as a shade is drawn. The door is located….” The words caught in Neville’s throat as if he had lost his voice.
“Are you thinking the words, Neville?” Lupin stressed.
“Yes, Professor, I don’t understand….It’s just like before. Do you want me to try to write it down?”
“If you wish. Does anyone have writing implements at hand?”
Hermione handed a Muggle pad and ball point pen to Neville. He looked at them curiously for a heartbeat, then attempted to write his response. Lupin passed the paper around so everyone could see that it was illegible.
“Do you think you can lead someone to the door, Neville? Without going through it, of course. Take Hermione’s hand.”
Harry watched raptly as Neville led Hermione right to the middle of the back wall, exactly to the spot where the door that he remembered was no longer located.
“Please let us know at what point the door becomes visible to you, Hermione,” Lupin reminded her.
She was less than a foot from the wall before she stopped with a sharp intake of breath. “I see it!” she announced with a note of wonder in her voice.
“Harry and Minerva, is this the location of the door that you remember from previous visits?”
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
“Bravo, Remus, you’ve done it!” The Headmistress beamed.
“Not just yet, Minerva. I need the final proof so that everyone is satisfied,” Lupin stipulated. “Neville, I’m giving you the key to the door. I want you to lead both Hermione and Harry through at once. If it’s dark inside, just stop on the sill and either of them will light their wandtips.”
Harry took Hermione’s other hand and the three of them drew up closely together. Neville was so excited he kept licking his lips feverishly as he fingered the large key in his other hand. Harry held his breath as Neville reached forward and inserted the key into empty air, or so it seemed. But then another step closer and Harry saw the door, too, exactly as Neville had described it. Only it didn’t seem as if it was dark inside. In fact, from the angle at which he stood, he could see a vague glow around the edges of the blind.
“Wait, Neville!” he started to say, but he never got the chance.
Neville threw open the door in triumph as Harry heard a loud gasp from the others. The small desk had been moved into the inner office, an oil lamp sitting directly in its center. Cardboard boxes bulging with documents and odd laboratory implements were stacked along the walls, leaving very little extra room. Writing feverishly at the desk sat none other than Severus Snape. He turned his face sharply at the sound of the door hinges.
“Well, well, well,” he drawled darkly. “What have we here? Did you remember to bring refreshments for everyone…seeing as how it took you so bloody long to find me!”
“Begging your pardon, Severus, I didn’t know you were lost,” Lupin rejoined without missing a beat. “Perhaps I failed to get the memo.”
Harry had to bite his lip to keep from smirking. Surely, Lupin wouldn’t be so headstrong as to call Snape out into a duel “ not right here.
“He’s unarmed!” the Headmistress called from the back of the room as everyone stood aside to give her a clear view. Thank goodness, someone remembered to try a Summoning Charm despite their initial shock, Harry thought.
“Please forgive their manners, the memo was never issued “ much to my chagrin,” McGonagall intoned with quiet splendor. “Please, won’t you join us out here? I’d forgotten how cramped that inner office was.” She waited patiently for Snape to carefully return his quill to its holder.
Harry was speechless as Snape followed the Headmistress into the outer office where she offered him a chair next to hers.
“Please tell me what we can do for you,” she implored, her tone full of kindness.
Harry was beginning to wonder whether he had somehow crossed into an alternate universe when Snape replied with a hint of a sneer, “You make it sound as if you were almost waiting for me, Minerva. Everyone else seemed surprised, shocked even; although Lupin is doing his best to look like he hasn’t landed knee-deep in ice water….I can only assume Potter told you that I had been in close contact with him.”
There it was: no preparation, no setting the scene. Snape just dropped it into everyone’s lap, the thoughts raced through Harry’s mind. He could feel everyone’s eyes upon him as he stood rooted to the spot.
Snape turned slightly to look at him directly. “Did someone cast an Immobilizing Charm on you, Potter?...You didn’t tell anyone, did you?” Snape responded with cold fury, half-rising from his chair. He was faced with four wands pointed at various parts of his body.
“Harry, is this true?” the Headmistress demanded. Her voice was composed but her eyes bored into him mercilessly.
The words felt like stones in his mouth as he answered, “Yes.” His eyes studied the peculiar line of broken tiles on the floor. How many times had he stood before Snape and held his own? Yet right now, he could think of nothing to say.
“For how long, Harry? Close contact implies an association of some duration, don’t you think?” Lupin’s tone was as cold as any he had ever endured from Snape.
Harry raised his eyes slowly to Lupin’s face. Who was he kidding? He had always known this moment would come. Ignoring the disappointment he saw lurking in the wings, he faced Lupin with as much confidence as he could muster.
“Answer the bloody question!” Lupin barked.
He could see the other faces swiveling between him and Lupin, but they didn’t matter. His eyes were riveted on the anger he saw blazing forth from the professor’s eyes. “Four months, more or less,” Harry replied, his voice reduced to a raspy whisper.
“And you didn’t breathe a word of it to me?” Lupin was furious.
“Remus, perhaps we should listen to his explanation…” the Headmistress offered.
“IN THE OTHER ROOM!” Lupin motioned with his wand in the direction of the inner office Snape had just vacated. “NOW!”
Briefly, Harry wondered whether Lupin had simply forgotten that he held a wand in his hand, or whether it was truly a veiled threat. Deciding that he really didn’t want to take his chances either way, he complied wordlessly. The sound of the door being slammed mightily reverberated in the small chamber. With a noisy rattle, the shade rewound itself from the impact.
“My, my, my, it looks like Potter finally found the father figure he’d been searching for,” Snape commented sarcastically, never taking his eyes from the scene visible through the glass.
“That was Remus’ assignment,” the Headmistress replied with strained courtesy. “Anyone who didn’t foresee that it would change them both was extremely short-sighted. I suspect they think of themselves more as partners, though. There’s an element of equality, a give-and-take in their interactions with one another.”
“You would defend any action he took,” Snape shot back at her.
“And you would find fault with any idea that was not your own,” McGonagall observed wryly.
“Is it your concession that we are both more alike than you’d like to admit?” Snape returned silkily, his smile more at home on a viper.
“She means that you should make allowances for each other, you great, greasy git!” Ron exploded.
The Headmistress caught Ron’s eye sternly with an unspoken message to back down.
“Severus, if you feel so needy yourself, you should have bonded with some of your own students.” She sighed wearily. “I’m sure you must’ve had plenty of opportunities throughout the years.”
“I was never very well suited to the familial roles,” Snape remarked dryly. “My early attempts were too much of a fiasco.”
“You never gave yourself the chance.”
“I was too busy being villainous as I have been so ignobly accused. Don’t think I’m unaware of the things that are whispered behind my back.”
“You have to admit, you took to that role like it was tailor-made,” McGonagall noted, barely managing to conceal the ghost of a smile.
“One becomes accustomed to maintaining a cover; it becomes second nature. Don’t you think the Dark Lord would have seen right through me otherwise?” Snape’s dark eyes glowed venomously.
“You still had options; you still made decisions on your own,” the Headmistress returned. “Don’t blame others for the path you decided to follow. No one forced you to spend your days brewing dastardly little potions in your heart!”
“You should have let the pain flow through you. Instead you clutched it to your breast,” Hermione supplied with fervor.
Snape whipped his head in her direction. With narrowed eyes, he hissed, “You know nothing of my circumstances!”
“Oh, no?” Hermione retorted, unfazed by his familiar show of menace. “Do you think Harry’s the only person able to search the Daily Prophet archives for information? You were quite a celebrity in your day, being the subject of such a ground-breaking decision by the Wizengamot.”
Looking up from the chair in which he was seated, Harry could see that every face in the outer room was watching them openly. An unreadable half-smile danced along Snape’s lips.
“Do you want me to draw the blind?” he offered humbly.
“No, let them watch. That way there will be no questions later,” Lupin replied in a monotone. The anger crept back into his voice as he added, “They do not, however, have the right to listen!” With a fury that Harry would never have supposed the man possessed, Lupin sent a wordless Muffliato charm towards the door.
“Remus, I…” Harry stammered, unsure where to begin. As much as he had expected it, Lupin’s anger still had the power to unnerve him.
“I’m waiting…” Lupin taunted him.
“It’s really not what you think,” Harry began lamely, wishing he could withdraw the words the instant they left his lips. Why was he suddenly unable to frame a coherent thought?
“No?” Lupin’s tone dripped with uncharacteristic sarcasm. “As many times as I’ve heard that vague excuse in my lifetime, I have yet to see anyone do it justice. But, by all means, you’re welcome to try.”
Harry felt the anger starting to burn in his chest but he stamped it down with the sheer force of his willpower. “Snape came to me seeking protection, presumably from dark forces,” he made a better start of it.
“But you could not have offered him that!” Lupin exclaimed.
Harry nodded emphatically. “I told him that only the Order could offer him that.”
“To which he responded?”
“That he had chosen me as his contact since I had a ‘privileged association’ with you.”
“Those were the exact words he used? Privileged association?” Lupin prodded.
Harry nodded solemnly, doing his best to ignore Lupin’s angry pacing.
Lupin opened his mouth as if to say something, then thought better of it. “Continue….please.”
Harry sighed. Was it too much to presume that Lupin would just allow him to spin out the facts uninterrupted? No, he concluded, the man’s innate curiosity would never permit that.
“Snape offered information in trade,” Harry explained. “Information that he claimed you wouldn’t have.”
“What sort of information?”
“Information about the project Dumbledore assigned me.”
“You confided in Snape about your secret project? The one that you could not, so regrettably, discuss with me?” The mixture of anger and hurt was unmistakable in Lupin’s voice.
“Of course not! What kind of an idiot to you take me for?” Harry retorted crossly.
“I suspect you really don’t want me to answer that question right now.”
“Right. He made it clear to me that he had information I needed and could obtain in no other way. He was essentially correct. I found bits and pieces from other sources, but never the complete picture.”
“So you just believed him?” Lupin decried.
“Not at first, I didn’t “ and I don’t think he expected me to. But he told me things to prove himself to me. Things that all turned out to be true.”
“You allowed him to manipulate you, then.”
“Remus, don’t you trust me?...Yes, admittedly I took a risk, a gamble, but I made bloody sure that the risk was minimal by the time I decided to take Snape up on his offer!” Harry could feel his anger struggling to break free.
“There have been too many….regrets. Too many things that were impossible to atone for,” Snape explained, his voice like ice.
“And you think this makes you different from anyone else?” the Headmistress sympathized. “Everyone has regrets. What matters in the end is what you take from them.”
“Those lessons were too difficult to swallow, even for me,” Snape returned.
“Dumbledore didn’t think so; he wouldn’t have offered you a second chance otherwise,” McGonagall pointed out.
“Dumbledore believed everyone deserved a second chance!” he scoffed. “He’d have offered amnesty to the Dark Lord himself if he’d come knocking on the door.”
“Perhaps if he believed that’s what Lord Voldemort really wanted, but remember that Dumbledore had the foresight to reject his plea for a teaching post. Yet he accepted yours.”
“You give him too much credit, Minerva. The old man only looked like Zeus; he wasn’t anymore a god than the one in myth “ capricious whims and all.”
“Severus, it is you who judge yourself the most harshly--” The Headmistress tried to steer him from the path of despair.
“”only because I know the full truth,” Snape cut across her. “Everyone wants to make allowances! You have to learn to live with the truth or everything else is nothing more than illusion and trick mirrors.”
Arrested by the pantomime visible through the glass, Snape’s train of thought fizzled out. The rapidity of the exchange between Harry and Lupin made it all too clear that neither of them was holding back. The exaggerated rise and fall of Harry’s chest revealed his inner struggle in the face of the wild gesticulations that accompanied much of Lupin’s rant.
“Still, I would never have believed Lupin capable of such passion,” Snape observed wryly, making no pretense of his curiosity.
“Everyone is passionate about those things that matter most to them,” Hermione reminded him softly.
“How was he able to contact you without showing up on Minerva’s Map?” Lupin shot back stubbornly. “Answer me that.”
“He used the two-way mirror Sirius left me. He pocketed the twin when he found it abandoned at Grimmauld Place.”
“When was this? You never reported any contacts with the mirror to me.”
“It was when I returned from Christmas hols. It’s all notated in my logs if you want to review it,” Harry offered.
“Why did he wait until then? His first attempt to make contact with you was the attack in early November.”
“I think he’d been trying earlier,” Harry answered thoughtfully. “But certain objects in my room had been blocking the transmission. Objects that I packed away for safekeeping when I was away.”
“But that sort of interference would require objects that contained a heavy curse,” Lupin theorized. “What kind of highly dangerous items could you have in your possession?”
“Clearly items that were masquerading as something else.” Harry tiptoed carefully around the subject. “For one thing, my parents’ photo album.”
Lupin jumped ahead. “The night you were poisoned.”
“Yes, that was caused by another such object. But I assure you all those objects have since been destroyed.”
“At great personal risk to yourself, I might add. Did you not stop to think that the item might be poisoned?”
“I only checked for curses, hexes, jinxes, surprises of that nature,” Harry confessed ruefully. “The poison was devious, hiding in the cracks as it waited for someone to attempt to destroy the object. I took a risk that night calling on Snape, knowing that I could very well be blowing his cover...”
“But since you thought yourself on the brink of death, you didn’t much care!” Lupin finished Harry’s thought. “I wondered why you hadn’t called on me that night until much later.”
“Would you have known what a Type C poison was?”
“Regrettably, no.” There was a hint of sadness in Lupin’s tone.
Harry elaborated, “It’s a deadly poison that can lie dormant indefinitely. Lucky for me, this strain was not particularly fast-acting.”
“So your life was truly in danger that night,” Lupin gasped, stumbling into a small discarded chair.
“Very much so. Snape was able to determine the true threat by the details I gave him and by my symptoms. That information was essential to Professor Slughorn in preparing an antidote quickly enough to make a difference. As you saw, I was still sick as a dog that night.”
“Some of that could have been the result of a hastily prepared antidote. That much even I know.”
“I don’t think the hallucinations were,” Harry admitted. “Those started even before I contacted Snape.”
“Did you consider that Snape might have had some ulterior motive? That he could have given Slughorn conflicting information that would have guaranteed your demise?” Lupin’s voice seemed just as frayed as his nerves. “How could you have taken such a risk with your own life?”
“He had already pretty much proven himself to me at that point.”
“How, Harry? How could a man who was not even in the same room with you have won your trust in that manner?” Lupin demanded in exasperation.
Harry had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, that he wouldn’t have to bare so much of his soul in the bargain. But he should have known better, he decided. With a deep breath for courage, he responded candidly, “Because he had already helped me to save your life when you’d been sent to St. Mungo’s.” Then he braced himself for the response he knew was coming.
Lupin leapt from the chair, sending it crashing into one of the nearby boxes. His face was livid. “How dare you place my life in the hands of such a ….dubious source of information! You had no right!”
“I HAD NO CHOICE!” Harry yelled. “It was clear that what Tonks and Madam Pomfrey were attempting was flawed. Slughorn could provide them with an antidote; but the minute the previous treatments resumed, you would have ended up back in the same spot again, possibly worse, and likely to be more and more resistant to an antidote in the future.”
“And you worked this out all on your own?” Lupin shot back derisively. “No wait, Snape helped you without any personal knowledge of the patient or the treatment.”
Harry ignored the sarcasm as he answered, “The Headmistress assigned both Tonks and me to assist Slughorn with the distillation of the antidote the Healers administered to you. She thought it would ease our worry if we could be of service to you. I was able to obtain a listing of the ingredients then.”
“But to trust his judgment like that! What were you thinking?”
“That I didn’t want you to die, Remus! And I didn’t just trust his judgment. He referred me to studies that documented the effects of the ingredients Tonks had been using. The results were spectacular at first, but then the complications started setting in. All the weird side effects you experienced and kept to yourself--”
“What makes you think I didn’t report the aberrations?” Lupin returned defensively.
“Because I mentioned them to Tonks -- more than once -- and she seemed surprised before she promised she’d look into it.”
“The formula was adjusted a number of times.”
“Don’t you see, Remus?” Harry pleaded. “It wouldn’t have made any difference. The first study indicated that all of the subjects had died. It was only later studies that showed that if the treatment was discontinued periodically to allow the subjects’ bodies to return to their natural state, then the ill effects could be kept in check.”
“Was that also the source of the extra ingredient?”
“Yes, it was one of those studies that concluded that essence of frogwort could help minimize the side effects. But even that doesn’t work in all cases.”
Like a man who’d had all the air let out of him, Lupin studiously righted the chair and sat down to face Harry directly. “I believe I owe you my deepest and most sincere thanks, Harry,” he offered simply. “I shouldn’t have doubted you. Tonks never told me you had assisted her with the research.”
“I asked her not to, but she didn’t know that it was Snape who pointed me in the right direction in the first place. Without his obsessiveness about potions, I don’t know where I would have been,” Harry confessed humbly.
“Or I, for that matter.”
Snape surveyed the dubious expressions that were trained on his face. They had asked for a recounting of the events on the Astronomy Tower, hadn’t they? They should at least have the decency to hide their doubts. Otherwise, it was downright rude when they had been the ones to insist in the first place. If they wanted to stay locked in their own preconceived notions then they should’ve just let him be.
“Is it my failing that Dumbledore left no corroborating evidence?” he commented scornfully.
“And you made sure he wasn’t around to contradict you, either!” Ron snapped in return.
“Answer me this then,” the Headmistress offered through terse lips. “How were you able to perform a killing curse so readily? That’s a spell that requires the intent of the one who casts it.”
Well, at least it was an intelligent, thoughtful question. “Minerva, your inherent idealism blinds you,” Snape replied. “What you mean to say is that it must be fueled by hatred. But self-loathing will suffice “ and I’ve always had a bountiful supply of that. Surely you’re familiar with the term ‘transference’? Why even Potter managed a rather impressive display when he took to the stage at Halloween. Just because I don’t wear my feelings on my sleeve like the lot of you, doesn’t mean I don’t have them!” His eyes flashed as he dared anyone to doubt his word.
“You have an answer for everything,” McGonagall huffed.
“That’s the way it is with the truth,” he returned evenly.
“Still, how could you let yourself be cornered like that?” It was clear that the Headmistress was unconvinced.
“I bluffed and was caught short,” was Snape’s churlish reply. “It happens to the best of us. Narcissa alone I could have handled readily, found a way to politely avoid an Unbreakable Vow. But with Bellatrix dissecting every move I made to report back to her master, I didn’t have the luxury to hesitate. It was doubly damning that she would likely have had Pettigrew’s corroborating testimony.”
“But to agree to do so heinous a deed, Severus. Those are hardly the actions of one loyal to Dumbledore!”
“I suspected Draco’s assignment was something a bit less drastic. The sort of marginally important task one gives a new recruit to allow him to prove his mettle. I didn’t count on the Dark Lord wanting to exact revenge on Lucius through his son “ although that better suited Narcissa’s near hysteria in my living room.”
“I take it that Snape was able to assist you with your project for Dumbledore,” Lupin prodded.
“Essentially, although I think ‘assist’ is too strong a word here,” Harry clarified. “It wasn’t as if we worked side by side like you and I would have. Snape provided me with just enough of an impetus that I was able to solve my part of the puzzle with only help from Ron and Hermione.”
Lupin was still doubtful. “How did Snape know to render you this assistance, Harry? That’s where the pieces just don’t add up. He’s not exactly one to volunteer his services willingly “ and at considerable personal risk, in this instance.”
“I had the Potions book he wanted. It actually turned out to be a major piece of the puzzle.”
“I thought you had found that quite accidentally,” Lupin observed critically.
“I thought so, too, but now I’m beginning to think that was Dumbledore’s doing, as well. He had various opportunities to tell me I was going to be allowed to take sixth-year Potions before classes started and yet he made sure I didn’t find out until Professor McGonagall presented me with my schedule. I think Dumbledore wanted to make certain I could not obtain a Potions book of my own before the start of term.”
“So you would have been obligated to use an old discarded one from the book cabinet. You think he planted the book there himself?”
“Either that, or it was already there and he just had to make sure it was either the first or second from the top. He hedged his bets by guaranteeing that Ron would need to borrow a book also.”
“So in this manner, Dumbledore practically forced Snape to contact you about the special project.” Lupin was clearly intrigued by Harry’s theory.
“He knew we would never cooperate together willingly, not after the Occlumency debacle.”
“I have to admit Dumbledore was one crafty old devil. Come, it’s time we rejoined the others,” Lupin announced as he rose to his feet. “Am I correct in concluding that your special project has been completed?”
“Yes. But you won’t mind if I desist from giving you any more details at this time, Remus? Just in case there are any unforeseen loose ends.” Harry held his breath, hoping that Lupin would not find an objection.
“Of course, Harry, I trust you.” Lupin turned to smile in return. “You have proven yourself most admirably today.”
Feeling vindicated, Harry amended, “Please don’t share the information about the project with anyone else, either. It wouldn’t do to have anyone connect all the dots too soon.”
“Understood.”
“Someone should tell Potter that it’s unnecessary to put aside your wand when dredging up dark emotions,” Snape’s arrogant voice rang out.
“Why is that?” Harry returned, stepping out of the inner office. Lupin could be seen blowing out the lamp and closing the door conscientiously behind him. “I assume you’re referring to my performance at Halloween.”
Snape’s eyes narrowed suspiciously as he eyed Harry up and down. “You Gryffindors and your overly gallant precautions,” he sneered. “There’s a reason why it requires happy thoughts to invoke a Patronus. If unleashing your buried angst had a similar effect, teenaged boys would rule the planet!”
“Have you been able to make any progress with him, Minerva?” Lupin sighed.
“We seem to be caught up in the eddies and whorls of a circuitous path,” the Headmistress summarized. “Wouldn’t you agree, Hermione? Ron? Neville?... You’ve been awfully quiet, Neville…”
“He’s there,” Snape asserted in an acerbic monotone. “I can hear him breathing “ even though he’s been doing his best to scurry out of my line of sight.”
“Such comments hardly engender a student’s participation, Severus,” the Headmistress commented dryly. In a kinder tone, she added, “Neville, you’re welcome to provide your input. Ron and Hermione have hardly been shy.”
“Yes, Headmistress,” Neville stammered in response to her encouraging smile. “I’ll be sure…let you know…if I think of anything.”
“Headmistress, if I might, please?” Hermione requested. “There’s an avenue I think bears exploring.”
Waiting for McGonagall’s nod, Hermione proceeded, “Professor Snape, what shape did your Patronus assume before your first wife was killed by Death Eaters?”
Even though her voice was soft “ tender, even “ the image those words invoked was so stark and unforgiving that the air seemed to stand still around them. Snape’s entire body jerked as if he’d been slapped, but the eyes he turned in Hermione’s direction were haunted.
“I never had cause to call forth a Patronus at that time. I, too, was numbered among the ranks of the Death Eaters. Presumably dementors would not attack us “ professional courtesy, I suppose.”
It was no less than what they all knew to be true, but somehow having Snape admit it in such an unblemished manner made it seem that much more monstrous.
“What about after her death?” Hermione continued, her voice almost a caress. “When you joined the Order.”
“This information is commonly known,” Snape protested. “Just ask a member of the Order!”
“She is, Severus,” Lupin returned. “Is there any reason why you feel she isn’t entitled to that information?”
With a dark look in Lupin’s direction, Snape leveled his gaze on his inquisitor. “My Patronus assumed the shape of a bat… Pray, you don’t ask me the reasons why, or I will deny to answer on personal grounds.”
“No need,” Hermione replied. “The Daily Prophet provided enough tidbits to frame an adequate picture.”
Of course, Harry thought to himself, the Carpathian Prince.
“If you already knew the bloody answer, why are you bothering with me?” Snape snarled.
“Severus, please,” the Headmistress admonished him as she waved down the wands that had been drawn all around. “I think she means for the rest of us to follow her reasoning. I promise to stop her if the questions become too intrusive.”
Taking a deep breath, Hermione gingerly continued, “Will you cast a Patronus for those of us in this room?”
“This is outrageous!” Snape jumped to his feet, ignoring the flashing wands. “If you doubt that I’m Severus Snape to begin with, then this conversation is beyond pointless!”
“No one doubts your identity, Severus,” Lupin soothed. “I suspect Hermione has another objective.”
“She’ll have to travel a different path!” Snape spat back. “I’m incapable of producing a Patronus without my wand.”
“And I have no intention of allowing you a weapon at the present time,” the Headmistress affirmed. “I’m sorry.”
“If I agree to accept the words you tell me are true,” Hermione resumed, “does your Patronus still assume the shape of a bat?”
“No, it doesn’t!” Snape growled menacingly. “That cantankerous old man made sure of that. It’s not enough that I do a favor for him, but every little, tiny, insignificant, minute, none-of-your-bloody-business facet of my life gets turned upside down in the process! When I finally think I’m done paying my membership dues to the Order, look out, here comes the freight train!”
“Are you referring to Dumbledore?” Lupin asked incredulously.
“Who else could have convinced the Order that I was not as black as they would paint me?” Snape threw back at him.
“Professor Snape…” Hermione implored. “Severus, please…” At the use of his proper name, Snape snapped his head in her direction, but did no more than cast her a defiant look. “I no longer believe you’re villainous. If you were truly as heartless as I previously supposed, Dumbledore’s death would have left you unscathed. The evidence of your Patronus cannot be denied.”
“If you think this proves his innocence, Hermione, I, for one, am going to need a demonstration,” Ron asserted.
“I vote with Ron!” Neville gulped nervously.
“A demonstration will not be necessary,” Lupin intoned with authority. “If you feel that the testimony of his Patronus is inviolable, then I can attest to the fact that his current Patronus assumes the shape of an eagle.”
“I can back him up on that, if you wish,” the Headmistress confirmed.
“But that would mean… no, it can’t be,” Ron stammered. “It’s a joke, right? They’re two different types of eagles. I get it: ha, ha.”
“No, Ron, you’re right on the money,” Harry volunteered. “Snape has been masquerading as Simon Stevens since early fall.” And he’d been right about Lupin and McGonagall being aware of the charade.
The squeal of wood on the dusty tiles was their first indication that Neville had practically collapsed on the nearest chair. His eyes were strangely unfocused as he wordlessly sought affirmation from the faces around him.
“Will someone please find some smelling salts for Longbottom before he faints dead away?” Snape jeered.
“I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction!” Neville stood up shakily. Harry could not determine exactly whether Neville was quaking with fear or with indignation, but perhaps that was an unnecessary distinction under the circumstances. “I’ve always been capable of considerably more than you gave me credit for!”
Snape’s lazy countenance berated Neville. “Everyone thinks that of themselves. They’re not always right.”
“I’m sure you’re capable of considerably more than you’d care to admit,” Ron shot back.
“And you’re not?” Snape argued. “All it takes is the right circumstances and we all cross the line.”
Despite Lupin’s restraining hand on his shoulder, Ron could not stop himself from volleying back, “I didn’t know you recognized any limits!”
“My perception is just different than yours,” Snape grumbled before turning away in disgust.
“Enough,” Lupin proclaimed with quiet authority. “Don’t tempt me to give you both detention. And if you think I don’t have the authority, I suspect the Headmistress will back me up… Now, Severus, you wish to petition the Order for sanctuary, am I not correct?”
“That was my original plan, yes,” Snape replied sullenly.
“You know that we cannot give you that under present circumstances,” Lupin returned. “The loss of Dumbledore from our ranks has been devastating in many ways. You must continue hiding as best you can; we will not expose you. I will offer what assistance I can.”
Snape’s eyes lit up feverishly with vague hope. “And you’ll present my case before the Order?”
“Yes, Severus, though I may bloody well come to regret it,” Lupin conceded with a heavy sigh. “As much as you will never admit it, you’d be lost without someone who can unravel the twists and turns of your singular logic.”
“You would argue my case just because if presents a challenge no one else would assume?” Snape retorted.
“Do you think I’m not up to the task?” Lupin shot back with gusto.
“Frankly, I can’t see a rank idealist like you taking the unpopular side.” Snape’s tone was so dismissive that Harry wondered how Lupin resisted the urge to hex him.
Instead, Lupin stood a little straighter and looked at Snape directly. There was just a hint of the Marauder dancing in the depths of his eyes as he replied, “In case you’ve forgotten, Severus, I’m a werewolf. I’ve been on the unpopular side most of my life… You should know, however, that your strongest testimonial came from Harry himself.”
“He’s not even a member of the Order,” Snape snorted with contempt.
“Not officially, but that will be remedied in due course. In the meanwhile, Harry will be turning over a certain communication mirror to me. Won’t you, Harry? The contact logs as well.” Lupin gave Harry the no-nonsense look he generally reserved for his other students. “If I’m going to try to defend the indefensible, you are I are going to have to get to know each other a little better, don’t you think, Severus?”
“Professor, would you like me to get those things now?” Harry inquired.
“Later will be fine,” Lupin replied with a small smile.
“Don’t worry, Potter, I’m sure Lupin will still let you take me out on a leash if you start to feel lonely,” Snape taunted him.
Harry caught the slightest twinkle in Lupin’s eye before leaning over and whispering loudly enough for everyone to overhear, “Make sure he’s had his shots first, Remus.”
There was an audible gasp from around the room. In contrast, the Headmistress was doing her best to keep her lips pursed in a straight line and, most importantly, to keep her struggles from being apparent to Snape.
“All right, show’s over,” Lupin announced without preamble. “The rest is not for public consumption. Minerva, will you please see to it that Ron, Hermione and Neville return to their common room until further notice.”
“What about Harry?” Ron asked doggedly.
“I’m not through with Harry yet,” Lupin returned with a glare. “Minerva, will you also contact my wife and have her join us here? We have some unfinished business with Severus.”
The silvery cat the Headmistress dispatched to Tonks was gone in an instant, its blurry feet even more soundless than those of a flesh and blood feline.
“Need your wife to do your dirty work for you, Lupin?” Snape sneered.
Unfazed, Lupin returned with a wicked smile, “She’s a much better potion maker than I, and she’s the only one of us that is trained to kill without a wand. Pray you don’t give her cause to demonstrate.”
Harry could see Ron, Hermione, and Neville jockeying to get a view of the floorshow from the anteroom. Only the Headmistress using her body as a shield kept them from barging through the doorway once more.
“Go!” McGonagall ordered. “Do I need to provide a translation of ‘not for public consumption’? All translations come with a mandatory detention.” In a whisper, she added, “We’ll send word to you later --”
Lupin’s voice rang out from inside, “Don’t promise them Harry, Minerva; he may not live that long!”
Clearly unsure whether he was joking, the Headmistress whispered, “Right. Then it will be either Professor Lupin or myself. Now go!”
Harry Potter and the Hero's Lament by L A Moody
Chapter Notes: Both Lupin and Hermione are called upon to support their conclusions step by step.