Disclaimer: The fine tapestry of plot and characters belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am merely pulling threads at will and weaving my own design in counterpoint to hers.
Chapter 8
The New General
From his seat in the back row, Harry could just make out the huge face of the Hogwarts clock tower as the hands ticked ever closer to the eleventh hour. The students were chatting respectfully among themselves but there was still no teacher in sight.
As the resonance from the eleventh chime faded slowly, a dark haired Hufflepuff girl rose from her desk in the second row to retrieve a paper airplane that had just flown past her shoulder. Unnoticed by the majority of the class, she walked silently up to the podium and turned to address them.
“Good morning, and welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts,” she intoned with great gusto. “My name is Tonks. Professor Tonks to you, that is.” She stepped around the podium and casually strolled down the middle aisle reviewing each of the upturned faces in turn. As she did so, her face slowly transformed into its familiar heart shape and her haired changed into deep blue spikes. She paused in the middle of the room to make sure that the effect was not lost on anyone. There was an audible gasp from the entire class.
“I am a Metamorphmagus. Today we are here to discuss concealment and disguise.”
Harry smiled as he realized how effortless and completely she had just captured the undivided attention of the class.
“Did you see that transformation?” gasped Hermione in a barely audible whisper. “It was an unabashed homage to Professor McGonagall; too bad she’s not here to see it.”
Neville nudged her arm slightly and pointed to the far wall from behind his cupped palm. With a slight turn of his head, Harry could see that a tabby cat with very unique stripes was perched on what looked like a small window sill. He returned his attention to the front of the room lest he needlessly disrupt the rhythm of the class.
Tonks had changed her hair color to a bright yellow as she continued, “Now you may ask yourself why this is a subject for a Defense Against the Dark Arts class instead of Transfigurations… Alas, I cannot train you to be a Metamorphmagus,” she frowned ever so slightly. “Metamorphmagi are born that way; and it is a very rare talent indeed. But I can use my talent and skills to bring out your own innate abilities in this area “ skills that many of you may not recognize that you possess. But before we launch into the meat of the lesson, let’s briefly address the importance of concealment and disguise.” She looked around at the rapt audience. “Does anyone have any ideas?”
Quick as a flash, Ron’s hand silently pinned Hermione’s wrist to the desktop. He shook his head slightly, effectively reminding Hermione of her role as an observer.
“What did the headmistress say in her opening remarks?” Still receiving no response, Tonks assumed a pose reminiscent of Ron’s mother and in her best scolding tone she added, “Surely, not everyone was asleep now were they?”
As the class tittered in appreciation, a hand in the second row was raised slowly into the air. Tonks immediately nodded to the student that she had permission to stand.
Beginning tentatively at first, then with greater confidence the girl replied, “The headmistress said that we should not be fooled by tales of bravery and glory. That it was better to live to fight another day than to sacrifice ourselves in senseless battle.”
“Very good, Rachel,” Tonks congratulated her after referring to the class roster. “Any other suggestions?”
Tonks pointed to a tall boy from the back of the room who stood up almost immediately. “That it is not cowardice to turn from a fight if you don’t have the necessary skills to win.”
“Excellent viewpoint. Well, we are here to teach you the skills to win your fight: but until you master them, it is important to learn to blend into the background -- to melt into the crowd. In order to do this, we must first and foremost be aware of our limitations. If you will give me one moment to prepare,” she intoned as she briefly turned her back to the class.
When Tonks turned around, though, she had assumed a new face complete with long, honey colored plaits. There was a sharp intake of breath from the class as a whole. She leaned and whispered something to the girl in the aisle seat immediately before her. So that everyone could hear Tonks added, “Now turn around and face the class, Jessica.”
Jessica swiveled around in her chair to reveal a face almost identical to that which Tonks had assumed. The gasp was louder this time with an edge of disquiet.
“Now stand up, dear,” urged Tonks, “right here next to me.” The crowd dissolved into laughter as it was revealed that Jessica was almost a head taller than Tonks.
“Know your limitations,” Tonks repeated her mantra. She recruited a dark haired boy from the other side of the room to stand beside her while she once again turned to face away from the class. This time when she turned back, her hair was just as dark and just as short as the boy’s, she had donned the dark flannel slacks of his uniform, but her features and physique made it plainly evident that she was not a man. The class dissolved in laughter.
“I don’t make a very convincing man,” she conceded. “Nor can I effectively imitate his voice. Say Tonks, Robert, say my name,” she urged.
“Professor Tonks,” he replied politely in a deep baritone.
“Know your limitations,” repeated Tonks as she thanked him.
Returning to the middle of the aisle, Tonks assumed the helm once more, “So just what weapons do you, who are not Metamorphmagi, have in your arsenal? Why you can change your hairstyle, hair length and even hair color -- although that takes a bit of advance preparation. But most importantly, you can change your clothing. Let’s do another exercise,” she straightened her shoulders and resumed the attire of Hufflepuff House.
Lupin was right, thought Harry, it was extremely disconcerting “ but very effective.
“Now when I first came in you assumed I was from Hufflepuff because I was dressed in this manner. But during my years at Hogwarts “ and it was not that long ago, mind you,” she got some good chuckles out of that one, “the uniform was as thus.” She waved her hand magically down her body and she was wearing the lurid plaid skirt that Harry remembered from the train ride. He noticed that the hem had been modified to a more modest length, however.
“None of you would be fooled by this uniform because you are familiar with the current style, but what about in the Muggle world? Would this pass for a Muggle school uniform?” There were appreciative nods from just about everyone except Hermione who shook her head slightly. “Is there anything that would give me away?”
When no one offered a response, Tonks approached the end of the aisle and gestured towards the back table, “Miss Granger, as an observer in today’s lesson and one who comes from a Muggle home, can you help me out here?”
All heads swerved at once to the back of the room as Harry elbowed Ron to release Hermione’s wrist so that she could stand up. Smiling politely to the crowd Hermione offered, “The school crest on your jumper, Professor. Muggles have never heard of Hogwarts and the last thing you need is a conversation starter right on your chest.”
Before Tonks could finish thanking Hermione the other class members were emboldened to offer their suggestions as well. One girl stood up without waiting to be recognized and stated in a matter-of-fact tone, “Muggles don’t wear school robes any more.”
From the other side of the room, another student stood up and countered with, “They do at Oxford -- at least when they’re meeting with their dons. My older sister attends University there.”
Harry was gratified to see that Tonks did not humiliate anyone that spoke out of turn. The relaxed rules made for a livelier class discussion.
As she returned to the middle of the room, Tonks magically dissolved the Hogwarts crest from her jumper and shrank the school robes until they became a muffler around her neck. “Any other--” She was stopped in mid-stride by a particularly small girl, tugging on the sleeve of her jumper. Wordlessly, the girl pulled a magazine out of her book bag and showed it to Tonks. Tonks leaned over as the girl whispered some words into her ear.
“Do you have such an object?” Tonks assumed a louder whisper that could be heard by most of the class. “Can you summon it?” The girl nodded excitedly. “Go out in the hall and please do so from there then.”
The girl trotted excitedly from the room with her wand clutched purposefully in her tiny hand.
Tonks again addressed the room as she carefully placed the magazine cover face down on the podium. “Now Molly here is a very astute observer of Muggles and she has suggested some very innovative changes to my attire….” In deliberate slow motion, Tonks shrank the obligatory white button-down shirt until it disappeared along with the school tie. The simple black jumper was shortened in the sleeves and in the torso until it became a rather form-fitting T-shirt that barely reached the top of the yellow kilt.
Unperturbed by the fact that every eye in the room was glued on her body, Tonks asked for additional requests from the audience. “What about the shoes?” she asked.
From the back of the room, “Doc Martens.”
Another voice, “With white socks.”
“No, white stockings.”
“Stockings that end above the knee.”
“The skirt needs to be shorter,” the sole male voice.
Harry was relieved to note that the last had not come from Ron, although he could no longer keep track of the faces as the contributions came in rapid fire from all sections of the room. They had even dispensed with the formality of standing up to answer.
All heads turned as Molly walked back up the aisle with a mysterious bundle wrapped in her school robes. She handed it to Tonks who detained her by the shoulder and motioned for her assistance in the front of the class. Shyness forgotten, Molly scampered up to stand next to the podium.
Tonks nodded to Molly that she was ready. For the third time, Tonks turned her back to the class and quickly extricated the bundle that was hidden in the school robes. At the precise moment that Tonks turned around holding an oversized rucksack in the shape of a white kitten, Molly held up the magazine cover, turning slightly so that everyone could see clearly. Other than the wild colors of the kilts, the outfits were identical!
The class erupted in applause and cheers led by the group of four observers in the back of the room.
As soon as Tonks could be heard over the commotion, she reminded the class that it was themselves that they were actually applauding as she had simply followed their instructions. She handed the rucksack and robes to Molly with a particularly heartfelt smile.
“Now I don’t want you to think that clothing is just something for girls “ women “ to think about,” she continued. “Wizards, too, must master the techniques of camouflage.”
Turning to the podium, Tonks pointed her wand at a small document and commanded, “Engorio!” The document grew in all directions until it was poster-sized; with a flick of her wand, the poster adhered to the blackboard. “Now this is a particular favorite of mine,” she explained as giggles spread from row to row. Depicted was a wizard wearing a Scottish kilt, a poncho, and bulky black sandals. His face looked like it had been smudged with a pencil eraser to maintain his anonymity. Harry would see why.
“I think I remember seeing him at the Quidditch World Cup,” whispered Ron from the far end of the table.
“He does make quite an impression,” Hermione whispered back, barely suppressing a giggle.
“This gentleman is actually a Ministry employee,” intoned Tonks amid a new batch of laughter, “although he is not from the Auror Division. Let’s start with the kilt then. Any comments?”
“You don’t wear a poncho with a kilt!”
“The sandals are totally wrong!”
“He doesn’t have the legs for it!” All heads turned to the back as Harry realized the last comment had come from his immediate left. He turned to see Neville with hands clamped over his mouth and a panicked expression in his eyes. The class howled with laughter.
Tonks started to comment but was overcome with laughter herself. When she had finally regained her composure somewhat, she turned to Neville encouragingly. “That is a very astute observation, Neville.” Turning to the front of the class she expounded, “Mr. Longbottom is another seventh year student that is visiting our class today. And all humor aside,” she took another deep breath to keep laughter in check, “he has made a valid point. If your clothing is so ridiculous that it incites comments or sniggers, people will tend to remember you. How many of you can say that this wizard looks familiar to you in some way?”
About half of the class raised their hands, Harry, Ron and Hermione among them.
“How many of you think that you could maybe put a face to go with the outfit?”
About half of the hands remained aloft.
“Still a significant number,” Tonks mused as she counted them silently. “The point of concealment and disguise is to pass unnoticed, folks. Now working with the poor bloke here, how would you change the kilt to make this outfit work?” She pointed to a blond Ravenclaw boy in the next to the last row.
“I’d give him a pair of blue jeans, Professor.”
“With patches--”
“”and a tattered hem.”
Still addressing the Ravenclaw boy Tonks probed further, “What about the shoes? Would you change them?”
“Not necessarily,” the lad answered thoughtfully. “Although if he were in a cold climate, I might suggest hiking boots.”
“Very good analysis,” Tonks replied. “Alex, isn’t it?” Addressing the class as a whole she continued, “Let’s say for the sake of argument that you were going to stay with the kilt. Is there any situation were a kilt would go unnoticed? After all, we are in Scotland.”
Tonks recognized a curly haired boy to her left. “Fergus Macmillian, ma’m,” he drawled in a broad Scots accent. “We have many family gatherin’s in Glasgow where there isna a pair of trousers in sight.” Fergus raised his voice to be heard over the chorus of giggles. “But wearin’ a kilt can be complicated; there’s more to it than just havin’ the right jacket and tie. There’s all manner of accessories; and if you get any of ‘em wrong, you’ll never pass muster with a crowd of rowdy Scots.”
“All right, Fergus, you obviously know your subject here. Just how would you go about wearing a kilt?”
“I’d not wear one a’tall,” he rejoined. “I haven’t got the legs for it!”
Hilarity ensued as the class broke up in laughter once again.
“A man who knows his limitations!” declared Tonks before joining in with the merriment.
“Now for the class assignments,” Tonks began, “we’re going to divide into groups of three. Any of you live in a Muggle household? Either one parent or both are Muggles? Please stand up so that each group will contain at least one Muggle delegate as well as those who have surrounded themselves with wizard customs…”
Harry’s attention was diverted at this point by Professor McGonagall who was motioning for them to join her in the adjoining anteroom. As the narrow doors closed behind them effectively blocking out the boisterous classroom, she turned to them with a wide smile. “Well, what did you think? She made quite a bit of progress in the new directions that I expressed for Hogwarts this year, don’t you think?”
Before he had time to ponder this, Lupin was trotting merrily down the circular staircase that wound down from behind the tiny window sill. He was brushing crumbs from his jacket and tie.
“What did you think of the performance?” Lupin began heartily. “This is the third time today that she’s managed to work the same magic with her class.” Turning to Neville, he clapped him cheerfully on the back. “I understand I have you to thank for the scones. Didn’t get much breakfast this morning between handing out class schedules and seeing to all the details of the new term. Neville here was a great help herding the first years this morning. He and Professor McGonagall even took over some of my duties so that I could sneak away to catch Tonks’ first class.”
Neville mumbled that he was glad he could be of assistance as McGonagall excused herself to have a few words with Tonks.
“And to think I actually thought I might be able to give her a few pointers.” Lupin shook his head ruefully. “I should be learning from her.”
“Does Tonks realize you’ve been observing her class from that perch?” Hermione inquired in her usual matter-of-fact tone.
“I’m sure she does,” Lupin replied. “After all, this particular classroom is large enough to regularly host O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. level examinations and all such sites allow for observation points. Helps to discourage cheating, you know. Besides,” he added with a wink, “I’m not sure I could ever get anything past Tonks -- not even on a good day.”
Tonks swept into the vestibule amid much applause and congratulations. She quickly shrugged out of her school robes and into a comfortable cardigan.
“That was the best class ever,” offered Ron appreciatively.
“You really should be on the stage!” added an enthusiastic Neville.
Visibly embarrassed “ for the first time ever, Harry thought “ Tonks replied, “Nah, I’m too shy for all that!”
Harry noticed that Professor McGonagall must have entered the anteroom right behind Tonks. “Luckily, Remus alerted me to join him after the first class,” the headmistress explained. “That’s how I had time to collect the four of you in time for the third installment.”
“That’s three times that I’ve seen her pull off the same flawless performance,” Lupin declared proudly. “Oh sure, the comments from the students have been different each time, but she always manages to improvise with what they give her and stick to the main points.”
“I don’t know about that, Remus,” Tonks conceded. “I nearly lost it when Neville made the comment about that fellow’s skinny legs.” Neville looked embarrassed as she continued, “How bad did it look from the audience?”
“I couldn’t tell you,” Lupin rejoined, chuckling at the memory. “I was too busy wiping the tears from my eyes at that point!”
Everyone laughed, including Neville who seemed quite relieved that his spontaneous outburst had not offended anyone. Harry didn’t think he’d every seen McGonagall laugh openly before “ not even when Fred and George had ended their Hogwarts careers amid a spectacular fireworks extravaganza two years before.
“It’s always the quiet ones that you have to watch out for,” admitted Tonks as she ruffled Neville’s hair affectionately.
“I believe I came to the same conclusion when I had Remus in my classroom,” suggested the headmistress slyly. When the merriment died down, she continued, “But I really must interrupt all the gaiety to remind Neville that he has his appointment with Professor Sprout at half past twelve and it’s quite a long hike to the greenhouses.”
As Neville shot out the door to get his belongings together, McGonagall turned to the group and whispered, “I’ve arrange for them to lunch in the private garden with me today. It has an enchanted glass partition that can provide sunny skies regardless of the true weather.”
With the slightest swirl of her wrist, she conjured a row of camp lanterns on the nearest bench. “Be sure to each take a lantern,” she urged mysteriously. “Your escort awaits at the door to the ground floor Divination classroom where Firenze has been holding forth. I’m sure you know the way.”
She was through the outer door to the hallway with Neville in tow before any of them had a chance to fully react.
Harry Potter and the Hero's Lament by L A Moody
Chapter Notes: The trio plus Neville attend their first class as official seventh year Gryffindors; Ron discovers that learning can be fun.