Gone. Everything was gone.
Peter stumbled blindly through the Muggle streets, hoping desperately that it would give him some cover. The first place they would look was his house, so he’d Apparated away from it, but Apparition could be tracked by the Ministry. At least he thought he remembered that from school. Maybe not. But better paranoid than dead. Or in Azkaban. He shivered, walking faster and nearly tripping over a bench.
Nobody knew him in the Muggle world. No one could see him and call the Ministry. They would know by now. Sirius had known. As soon as he’d seen the ruins of the house, he knew what would happen. The worst thing possible for Peter had happened. James and Lily had died, but the Dark Lord had lost his powers. Now, it was worse than just being a spy. He chewed on his lip. James and his wife were dead now. It was Peter’s fault. He had killed them. He’d been the Secret Keeper, so there had been no other way for them to have been found.
I killed them.
Sirius would think the same thing, and now, Peter had no Dark Lord to protect him.
Dumbledore. Dumbledore was his last chance. Maybe he would still believe that it wasn’t supposed to happen that way, that Peter had had no choice. The only problem was making it to Hogwarts. He couldn’t Apparate there. He didn’t dare Apparate to Hogsmeade. They might suspect he would try exactly what he was doing, and there could be people there. It was an all-wizarding community, so a big scene with magic wouldn’t require any cleaning up.
No. For now, he was safer in the Muggle world. If he didn’t use magic, they couldn’t trace him, and they would be more willing to try and negotiate with him instead of attacking him right away. The Ministry didn’t like making messes in the Muggle world: too much time and effort to clean up.
But Sirius didn’t care.
Peter looked around nervously. Sirius was just the type to come after him without telling anybody. If he did.... Peter had never been a match for him. If he showed up, if he came alone, Peter would have to find another way out.... He knew Sirius wouldn’t listen. Sirius would probably be mad with grief that James was dead.
So, why aren’t I?
He shook his head, his fingers nervously twiddling with the fabric over his abdomen. He would think on that later. Right now, he had to find someplace safe. The safest place was wherever Dumbledore was. Peter could only think of two places he might be around Halloween: Order of the Phoenix headquarters or Hogwarts. The former was suicide. That left only one.
Peter didn’t really believe Dumbledore would forgive him, but events were spinning out of Peter’s control. At every turn, he was presented with only one choice, all the other alternatives too horrible to contemplate. No matter where else he ran, he would eventually be found, and if he wasn’t killed, he’d go to Azkaban. The thought of spending every waking moment remembering he had caused the death of his first friend at Hogwarts, unable to think of anything else....
“Hullo, Wormtail old mate,” hissed a voice down the street behind him, a horribly familiar, threatening voice.
Peter jumped and turned, eyes wide. “Sirius....”
“You look surprised to see me,” he said smoothly, walking forward one step at a time, his wand held casually at his side. He looked as lazily handsome as he always had. The same dark hair. The same laid-back, confident stride. Only his face was screwed up beyond attractiveness, the grey eyes glinting madly. Peter saw death in those eyes.
He backed away, his hands slipping behind his back. “O-Of course I am,” he muttered, trying to buy time, his mind flashing desperately through options.
“After what you did, I’m shocked,” he spat. “Did you think I wouldn’t know? That we’d be stupid enough to think that with the Fidelius Charm it was someone else who betrayed them?”
He had nowhere to go. Sirius would have him completely cornered in a moment. Peter tightened his grip on the wand behind his back, biting his lip. His eyes darted around the street, at the Muggles passing by with their own business, ignoring the two of them.
“I hope it was worth it, Peter,” Sirius said grimly, lifting his wand.
“I can’t believe it!” Peter suddenly said loudly, his fear making his voice tremble. “How could you?! Lily and James.... They’re dead now! How could you!” His knuckles were white around his wand as he cast a nonverbal spell behind him”something, anything to make it look like Sirius had attacked him. He jumped at the disproportionate sound of the blast, his hand catching the last of it on his wand and slicing off his index finger. The pain didn’t register, though, because Sirius was trying to catch him. He squeaked, the sound morphing halfway through as he shifted into a rat and ran away as fast as he could.
Sirius gave chase, trying to curse him or Stun him. Peter slipped in among a group of rats at the sewer, pushing and shoving madly through them, shifting into the flow, disappearing out of sight of the street. He heard Sirius start laughing over the sounds of all the rats around him. The sound reminded him of the Dark Lord, when Peter had told him where to find the Potters.
He slipped down into a dark corner to hide, shivering, still able to hear the echoes of Sirius’s laughter. He had gone mad. Peter stood crouched there in the dark, listening to the rats around him and the faint laughter, thinking about that explosion. It had sounded far too loud. What had he done?
At least I’m safe from Sirius, he thought, not much comforted. No one will let him chase after a man he had already killed.