The scarlet steam engine gleamed in the bright September sun, though anyone looking out over platform nine-and-three-quarters would be hard-pressed to see it through the seething mass of students and their families.
But one boy was scanning the crowd itself. Hurrying along the platform, lugging his trunk behind him, Severus Snape shook his long, dark hair from his eyes as he peered through the jostling bodies around him. His narrow, sallow face was taut with concentration; he paused only to spit a dire warning at an unfortunate First-Year girl who bumped into him.
His black eyes suddenly lit with eagerness as they found their target. His steps quickened and he raised a thin arm in greeting.
‘Lily!’
A girl with dark red hair turned at his voice, green eyes searching the throng until they locked with his. Lily Evans’s face broke into a smile at his approach and Severus felt his heart pound in answer. It was only when he stopped, breathless, in front of her, that he sensed the reserve there.
‘Hi, Sev.’
‘You didn’t come to Diagon Alley,’ he accused without preamble. ‘It’s the first year we haven’t gone together.’
In fact, he hadn’t seen her for quite a while. His eyes drank in her face hungrily, lingering on each familiar feature as though they had gone years apart. He noted that she had cut her hair since June.
Lily frowned. ‘I thought you were going with Avery and Mulciber and that crowd.’
‘Well…yes,’ he admitted. ‘But you could have come!’
Lily snorted.
‘I wouldn’t have let them say anything to you”’
‘That’s not the point, Sev. Why are you friends with people who would want to “say anything” to a Muggleborn?’
Severus had no answer for that. He had always known Lily did not approve of his Slytherin crowd.
‘Look, Severus, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. Those boys you hang out with…they’re”bigoted and”and cruel.’ She took a deep breath, ‘I heard what you all did to little Andy Dobbs last spring”’
‘That prat,’ Severus interjected contemptuously. ‘He deserved it, what are you bothered about him for?’
‘He didn’t deserve it”’
‘He said Rabastan’s father was a worthless jailbird!’
‘Well, that’s true! Maybe Andy shouldn’t have said it like that, but that’s no excuse! Mr Lestrange was imprisoned for torturing Muggles. It’s just that kind of attitude, as though a crime doesn’t matter if it was committed against Muggles or Muggleborns. Not one of your so-called friends would care if it had been me Mr Lestrange had been torturing.’
Severus opened his mouth to protest, but no sound came out. Perhaps that was just as well, for Lily didn’t look as though she was in the mood to be argued with. He had the uncomfortable suspicion that she had been wanting to say these things for a while.
‘Anyway, it doesn’t matter whether he deserved it or not”those curses you’re all throwing around, that’s Dark Magic, Sev.’
Severus made an impatient noise. Lily had never understood when it came to the Dark Arts.
‘I just”I don’t like the way you act, sometimes. Around them, I mean. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with”who you’re becoming.’
Her voice had turned gentle, even sympathetic, but Severus recoiled as though she had struck him.
‘Fine,’ he retorted, ‘maybe you’d prefer to hang out with Potter and his gang, if you can’t stand being around me.’
Lily looked at him incredulously. ‘Sev, what on earth has Potter got to do with”’
‘Evans!’
Severus felt the force of that disgustingly confident voice as though it was a physical blow to his stomach. He arranged his features into the most contemptuously indifferent expression he could manage, and James Potter came jogging out of the crowd.
‘Evans,’ Potter panted again, grinning as he reached them. ‘Have a good summer?’ He ran a hand through his messy black hair, and Severus felt a flash of pure loathing. Behind Potter, Sirius Black sauntered up at a more languorous pace, hands deep in the pockets of a denim jacket. For all his pureblood status, he managed to look as coolly handsome dressed like a Muggle as he did in wizard robes. Fully aware that he could never cut such a dashing figure, Severus’s mouth twisted in bitter scorn.
‘Yes, thank you,’ Lily answered. The chill in her voice made his heart sing.
Potter flicked a glance at Severus, who twitched a hand towards his wand, but James said nothing except, ‘Great. Look, erm…I heard you got made a Prefect…’
Lily nodded, and James grinned eagerly. ‘Great! Congratulations! So, anyway, I just came over because”well, Remus is a Prefect too, and he said they switched the compartment you were all meeting in, so I just thought I’d”I mean, I wanted to make sure you knew…’
Severus saw Black rolling his eyes, and for once he was in agreement.
‘Yes. Erm, thanks. I did know,’ said Lily. ‘I actually told Remus...’
Severus felt an unpleasant spike of jealousy. He sneered at Potter, ‘But you can tell Lupin that if he ever gets his nose out of his books long enough to see daylight, he’ll realise there’s more to being a Prefect than attending meetings one moment and then running around with his friends the next.’
Potter glared and Lily frowned, but Black beat them both.
‘No one asked you, Snivellus,’ he said coolly, ‘and were I you I wouldn’t be talking about anyone’s noses, book-bound or otherwise.’
His grey eyes lingered on Severus’s own prominent feature, and Severus was appalled to find himself blushing. Swiftly controlling his features, he managed a patronising smile.
‘How’s your family, Black?’ he inquired silkily. ‘I heard your father takes on extra work over the summer holidays simply to stay out of the house.’
Potter’s hand flew to his wand, and Lily coughed, embarrassed, but Severus wasn’t finished.
‘That’s no help for your mother, though, is it? Regulus said she actually gets physically ill when you’re at home.’
‘Shut it, Snape!’ Potter barked roughly. ‘That’s completely uncalled for.’
Black, who had not so much as twitched at Severus’s dig, closed his eyes briefly at his friend’s gallant wording. But Severus’s triumph was marred by the unmistakable anger in Lily’s flashing eyes. With a sharp pang, he realised she was in complete agreement with James. Black, however, was unfazed.
‘Relax, James,’ he said in a bored tone. ‘He has to get his summer angst out somehow,’
Severus glared, hating him. Black sardonically held his eyes for the space of a moment, long enough to let Severus know just how little he cared for Severus’s jibes. Then, raising an aristocratic brow, Black turned to Potter and said lightly, ‘Well if you both are quite done making fools of yourselves, I suggest we all board the train some time before midnight, and leave Miss Evans in peace.’ He gave a mockingly chivalrous bow in Lily’s direction, that was nevertheless suave enough to make Severus and even Potter cast an envious glance in his direction.
‘Thank you,’ Lily smiled wryly. ‘I’d really better go if I want to make the Prefect’s meeting on time.’ She flicked a quick, appraising look at Potter, gave Severus a curt nod, and set off for the head of the train.
Severus watched her go, feeling emptier with every step she took. By the time he had turned back, Potter and Black were gone, moseying back through the crowds and returning laughing sallies to various admirers. Bitterness rose in Severus’s throat like bile. They hadn’t even considered him an adversary to be reckoned with. Hoisting his trunk behind him, Severus set off too, prowling through the happy throngs. He was not used to being bested verbally, and the knowledge that he had by no means had the last word in their encounter ate at him. If he hadn’t been distracted by Lily’s presence he would have told Sirius Black what was what. Lily…Severus swallowed hard, remembering the outrage in her beautiful green eyes when he had taunted Black about his family. This was not the time to start saying the wrong things around her.
* * *
Severus sat alone in his train compartment, leaning his head against the window. He was supposed to be patrolling right now, but he hadn’t the heart. Lily had remained cool toward him during the Prefect meeting, though he noted that she greeted Remus Lupin with a little extra warmth. Misery curled like a wet cat in his stomach. He knew what that look that Lily had given Potter had been. Admiration. Much as she hated the arrogant git, she had approved of the way he had stood up for that worthless blood-traitor, Black. Couldn’t she see the only reason Potter hadn’t cursed him, Severus, into oblivion, was that he was trying to impress her? Severus bit his lip and mentally ran through all the curses he would like to use on James Potter and his gang if he got the chance. Potter wouldn’t look so confident with his face melted into putty. Black wouldn’t sound so condescending if he were choking on his own tongue. And Lupin and Pettigrew! Strutting around with Potter and Black, thinking they were cool just by association. Severus snorted to himself. Pettigrew had the talent of a six-year-old and Lupin”there was something strange about Lupin. Severus had never understood him. He was nothing like the rest of them, quiet and thoughtful, and yet Potter and Black defended him like he was their little invalid sister. Lily liked him too; she had never let Severus say anything against him…
Severus was so busy stewing that he barely noticed when his compartment door slid open to admit a group of Slytherin Fourth Years deep in conversation. He looked up long enough to spare the younger students a sneering glance and promptly reached into his book bag to extract his Potions book. He didn’t feel like talking.
The Fourth Years ignored him, huddling together at the other end of the compartment. Whatever they were discussing was apparently vastly intriguing.
‘No way!’ Severus recognised the superior tones of Evan Rosier. ‘Blasted him clean off? So that’s that, then, isn’t it? Totally disowned. What an idiot. What made him do it?’
‘Dunno. He just…left.’
Something in that quiet voice made Severus look up, curiosity peaked. Over the top of his Potions book, he saw Regulus Black sitting in the midst of Abenur Wilkes, Evan Rosier, and two other Fourth Years he knew by sight but had never spoken to. Severus had never been especially close to Regulus. At first he had shunned him because of his brother, but he soon learned Regulus was nothing like Sirius. The younger Black had proper Wizarding pride, and Severus approved of his quiet manner and studious habits. But for all that, he was a year behind Severus, and the latter could not help but feel a flash of scorn any time Regulus quoted with obvious affection something his sainted father had said, or offered to share some meticulously put together parcel of sweets his mother had sent. Just now though, the ‘good Black’ was looking rather pale and strained, his narrow face showing a marked lack of enthusiasm for the topic of conversation.
‘Wow…’ murmured one of the unknown boys. He had a thin mouth and wide, rabbit-eyes that made him look perpetually startled. Severus had seen him hanging out with Regulus before. ‘Bad fight, was it?’
‘Very,’ Regulus answered shortly.
‘Well, go on, what was the fight about?’ Abenur prodded eagerly. Regulus shrugged.
‘He took issue with this legislation Dad’s been pushing. About werewolf registration.’
‘Oh yeah, that was brilliant!’ Rabbit-Eyes fawned. ‘My father was talking about it the other night.’
‘Yeah, well, Sirius has always been a prat about that half-breed protection stuff.’
There was a short, awkward silence following the admission of this shameful fact. Severus felt a thrill of interest, his mind whirring. Unless he was very much mistaken, it sounded as though Sirius Black had run away…more than that, been disowned! And after a ‘very bad’ fight. He had heard rumours of Walburga Black’s temper through his pureblood friends, and could imagine the results of such an argument. He could have kissed Regulus. Staring at his Potions book without seeing it, he strained his ears, desperate for more. If only he’d known this back on the platform!
‘Sorry, mate,’ the other nameless Slytherin was muttering sympathetically. ‘But every family has them. I had an uncle married a Mudblood once”he got disinherited too. It’ll be better with him out of the house.’
‘Yeah…’ Regulus’s voice sounded rather distant.
‘So where’d he go?’ Abenur prompted.
‘Potter’s,’ Regulus spat. Severus relished the sudden contempt in his voice.
‘Figures,’ Regulus went on. ‘He’s practically lived with those blood traitors since First Year anyway. Besides, now I can make my own plans in peace.’
From the hint of pride that coloured his voice, Severus knew that he was dying to tell his friends exactly what those mysterious plans were. The other boys went so quiet Severus had to close his eyes in concentration. ‘You’re still thinking about joining him?’ Abenur’s voice was equal parts fear and excitement.
‘Of course he is!’ Evan cut in scornfully. ‘Any pureblood with an ounce of pride is planning to join the Death Eaters.’
‘Shhhh,’ one of the others hushed him.
‘No one’s listening,’ sneered Evan. ‘Besides, we’re in good company.’
Severus stared even harder at his book, sure they were talking about him. He felt a little glow of satisfaction, knowing they thought him farther advanced than they on the road to becoming a Death Eater.
‘Some of the older students are already preparing,’ Regulus went on quietly. ‘We should start making connections now, if we want to be in the right place when our turn comes.’
‘What kind of connections?’ It was Rabbit-Eyes again. Severus thought he must be rather dense. ‘Who would teach us that sort of Dark Magic at Hogwarts?’
‘I think I know.’ There was a note of rebellion in Regulus Black’s voice that suddenly reminded Severus of his brother. But it was all Regulus when the younger boy raised his voice and said,
‘Pardon me, Snape. We had a few questions for you, if you wouldn’t mind.’
Severus smiled his silkiest smile and smoothly slipped his book back into his bag.
‘I’d be delighted.’