As I lie on the damp earth, my body shaking, Lily sends for help. My breathing is uneven and I find myself gasping for air, desperately sucking in cool, sharp breaths. I can’t believe I let this happen, it seems impossible. I had fallen victim so easily. Never have I felt as defenseless. What hurt the most is that I have no recollection. What had I done? It must have been terrible - unforgivable, even. I torture myself for what seems like hours with these questions. Finally, her warm hands comfort my face; she leans down and whispers to me.
“It’s…It’s okay James, you’re safe, we’re on our way back,” she chokes. With these words, I fade into the darkness that threatens to envelope me, gratefully slipping away.
*
I wake up to Lily’s watchful gaze; she looks relieved, and I can tell she’s been here at my side, waiting for me to rouse. I rub my eyes; they feel unbelievably sore, as does the rest of my body. Instinctively, I reach up to touch my forehead, but bandages wound tightly around my head keep me from evaluating the damage I’ve caused. She clears her throat gently, willing me to meet her eyes. I look up reluctantly, not wanting to ruin this moment of peace.
“Do you remember anything that happened the past few days?” she prompts gently, her emerald eyes searching mine.
“No,” I whisper hoarsely, wanting to freeze this moment, to disregard whatever mess I have gotten myself into.
“Well...yesterday, I had this feeling. It was awful; at the time I thought I was just being paranoid. But I knew something was wrong. You followed me, James. All day. I was so scared; I didn’t know what was happening to me, I couldn’t enjoy myself. I kept looking back, sure I had heard something…seen a flash of something…” she trails off, her eyes brimming with more unshed tears. I rest my hand on her arm. She shrugs it off like an unpleasant reminder. My bewildered look is her cue to continue.
“And then, I was just walking by myself, trying to clear my head. I got distracted and I wasn’t paying any attention. That’s when I ran into you. The first thing I noticed was your eyes. They looked so blank, so dead. It just wasn’t you. Everything was wrong. You looked like you wanted me dead and every time I tried to talk to you, to try and understand, you didn’t respond. It was like…like you weren’t even there, like you were in a trance.” Sobs erupt from her, echoing and ringing in my ears.
“Lily, please, shhh, I’m sorry. So sorry, Lily,” I plead, attempting to quell her burst of emotion.
“I-I’m not done. You need to hear this, James. You need to know that-that it wasn’t your fault,” she goes on, hiccupping; the salty tears are still running down her now ashen cheeks. “You kept pulling on me, telling me you had to kill me, that there was no other way out of it. But you were fighting, I could tell. You looked so torn. You screamed at me to go, to get away. One part of you wanting to hurt me very much, the other part incapable. You were so overwhelmed. I’d never seen someone so…so helpless, so broken. But I stayed. I couldn’t bring myself to leave you. I knew that you were in there somewhere. I knew that you wouldn’t ever kill anyone.”
“And?” I break in tentatively, shock and horror lacing my tone.
“Then you really did try and kill me.”
“What? Lily, I never-“
“Oh, stop, please, I know. I know. But that seemed to make the difference. You became yourself again. There was life in your eyes again. After that, you blacked out. Dumbledore showed up, McGonagall, too, and a few others. I’ve never seen him look so furious. He’s tried to keep it quiet but…everyone knows something’s happened, everyone’s been whispering in the halls, talking about it in secret. James, you were Imperiused,” she states.
“I know. You gave me that note remember? I was supposed to meet you in the Astronomy Tower. But you weren’t there, someone else was. It was too quick; I didn’t have time to react. I only remember the words that hit my ears. The way I felt ripped in two, fighting to both kill you and save you. It seems clearer now that…now that you’ve told me.” I am about to continue but her eyes are flooded with confusion.
“James, I didn’t give you a note,” she begins, horrified.
“Yes, you did. I got it with the morning post.” I reach into my pocket. The note is still there. I pull out the crumpled piece of parchment. “Here.” She takes it nervously with trembling fingers.
A gasp comes from her. “I didn’t write this. James, this wasn’t me.”
“I don’t understand. That’s your writing, Lily, I know it is.”
“I know,” she says fretfully, “but I never wrote this note, James. I need to get Dumbledore, we need to talk to him now.” She quickly jumps from my bedside. “Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out.” She begins to walk at a brisk pace. As I turn back around, my face meets that of someone all too familiar. And suddenly, I know, this is the person who had started it all. I hear more footsteps coming closer. Please let it be Dumbledore, I think. It is Lily and she is alone.
“James, I forgot to ask, did you-” Lily stops dead in her tracks, her eyes widening in alarm. And that’s when time stopped altogether.
****
“You!”
A rather hasty and dramatic accusation, I know. But let’s dwell into a little back-story, shall we?
Bellatrix Black has been striking fear into everyone’s hearts since she first stepped into the school. She knows enough hexes to write a spell book, and is described by her own family member (a certain Sirius Black) as a sadist. She’s merciless and extremely powerful- no one, student or adult alike, would ever want the cross her path.
So, needless to say, I was utterly terrified to see her in the Hospital Wing, pointing her wand in my face, ready to shout a curse. I heard James gasp behind me, and prayed that he would stay seated.
“Yes, me,” says Bellatrix, grinning evilly, and rather insanely.
My first thought is, How did she get in here? And then I think, Your wand, you idiot!
My hand instantly flies to my pocket, but I hesitate. Bellatrix watches me intently, scrutinising my every move.
I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to die, fight for my existence, or even miss death once more. I want Bellatrix to go away, for this to have never happened, and I want to be with James, happy and whole.
Be with James? Where’d that come from?
I think of James, trapped under his bed sheets, unable to do anything (Madam Pomfrey said he fractured his ankle). Then I look down at the note in my right hand. The note he gave me.
I am being selfish. James is in this as much as I am; he deserves to be at ease, and know that no one is going to force him to kill the ones he cares for. It is then I realise that I have feelings for James as well, and it is those feelings that made me pull out my wand and shout, “Incarcerous!”
Instantly, ropes fly into the air, but Bellatrix merely laughs and shoots another curse. The ropes burst into flames; the fire quickly drops to the floor and begins to spread.
I scream, and back up against the wall as the flames begin to lick around my ankles. Bellatrix raises her wand, ready to say another curse, but then-
“Protego!”
A shield appears between me and Bellatrix. My attacker’s face contorts in fury, and she opens her mouth once more.
“Lily, move!” James calls. “I don’t know how long the spell will hold!”
I hide behind a hospital bed. I try my best to extinguish the flames, but to no avail. Instead, I simply hold my wand at the ready.
“Stupefy!” I yell as Bellatrix draws closer, firing the spell over my sanctuary.
Please come, Dumbledore... Madam Pomfrey... anyone...
I miss; Bellatrix leers at me.
“You’re done for, Mudblood,” she sneers.
With a strangled yelp, James hops out of his bed, and joins the fight. He and Bellatrix start to duel one another. She fires a spell that almost hits his ear; but James is skilled and ducks nearly every blow.
Knowing I have to act, I stand and use a hex that the Marauders were famous for using. Suddenly, Bellatrix is hanging by her ankle, shock residing on her stunning features.
Her mouth contorts into a cruel smirk.
“Think you’ve won, have you?” she spits. “This isn’t the last time you’ve heard from me or the Dark Lord.”
So she works for Lord Voldemort. It all makes sense now. But why is her mission; to get me, a worthless Muggle-born, killed?
“He told you to do this?” James roars. He apparently hasn’t had enough time to think this through.
Bellatrix says snidely, “It was for you to join us, Potter. You’d make wonderful Death Eater material; much better than my useless cousin. Killing your own lover would certainly turn you over, right?”
James furiously shakes his head, his eyes blazing. Bellatrix smiles wickedly.
“Of course, now that you’ve failed, I have to do the dirty work for you.” She turns in the air, the fire dancing under her head, smoke rising to her face. “I learned this one from a friend. Sectumsempra!”
I feel as though a hundred swords slash at me just then; I look down to see blood slowly pooling at my feet. The floor collides rather suddenly with my head, and the last thing I hear is James’s yell.
“LILY!”
*
It is quiet. My eyelids feel heavy at first, but I hear a noise, so I reluctantly open them.
James is staring intently into my face, but blushes when he notices that I’m watching.
“You’re awake,” he says, stating the obvious. “How are you?”
I try to say “Fine,” but nothing comes out.
James takes my hand, and surprisingly, I don’t feel the urge to shake it off like all the other times he has tried to touch me.
“Dumbledore will be back soon,” he tells me. “He’s meeting with the Minister.”
“Why?” Good, I can talk.
“They need to catch Bellatrix Lestrange.”
Lestrange. So she’s married now. I pity her husband.
James sighs and looks away. “I’m sorry, Lily. I let her get away. I was putting out the fire and then she was gone...”
“It’s all right, James,” I say, squeezing his hand. He returns the gesture, rubbing his thumb back and forth on my hand.
“What did the spell do?” I ask; I am curious, in a morbid sort of way.
James shudders, and it takes him a few moments to answer. Breathing rather raggedly, he replies, “It sort of cut you open... all over the place. You were bleeding so much, I thought...”
The look on his face is almost too much to bear. I scoot closer.
“Dumbledore cured you,” he goes on, “They gave you a blood-replenishing potion and everything.”
It is then that I notice that I am wrapped in bandages. We both are; and we are in pyjamas, too.
“Where is Madam Pomfrey?” I ask, looking around for the matron. The hospital doesn’t look burned; our genius of a headmaster must have repaired it.
“With Dumbledore,” James answers. “The Minister wanted to know how you were.”
I nod, not sure what to say. Finally, I blurt, “I’m such an idiot.”
James looks at me, alarmed. “What makes you say that?”
“I should have just hexed her,” I cry. “I shouldn’t have hesitated, I should have-“
“Lily.” James’s voice cuts over mine. “You are not an idiot. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was natural to hesitate.”
“But-”
“You were also very brave that night. If I had to get stuck in this mess with anyone else, I’m not sure what the outcome would be. Thanks to you, a servant of Voldemort is being tracked as we speak.”
I flinch at the name.
“Relax, Lily- it’s just a name. It’s no worse than saying Bellatrix’s name.”
I nod, and then slowly smile. “You’re wrong,” I whisper.
He looks confused. “What?”
“I am an idiot,” I say. “I’m an idiot for not realizing the real James Potter, the one who will fight the Imperius Curse for someone and fight an evil witch in the midst of a fire.”
James chuckles. “I’ll be sure to put that on my resume,” he jokes.
I smile. Then I am hit with an idea.
“James, can I...?”
“I was hoping to do the honors myself,” James admits, understanding completely.
“Go ahead, then,” I tell him, feeling a rush of excitement race through my body.
James grins, and swiftly moves his head down.
And then he kisses me.
*
After what felt like years, we break apart. James is beaming like a fool; his eyes are bright and his face is flushed.
“That was amazing,” he breathes. “I’ve been waiting for years to do that.”
I laugh, enjoying the feeling of being happy. James adjusts himself on my bed, so that I lean against him.
“Oh my,” says a voice.
James and I look up to see Madam Pomfrey, Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Hagrid at the entrance of the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey looks shocked; McGonagall merely surprised; Hagrid amazed; and Dumbledore; amused. It was the Headmaster who had spoken.
“Fine time you got together,” Professor McGonagall says briskly as she made her way across the room.
James throws his head back and laughs. We all laugh with him, the joyous sound echoing through the room.
“Well,” says Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling merrily. “We’ll give you two a few moments to yourselves, but then we must discuss the events these past few days.”
James and I nod, and the adults walk into Madam Pomfrey’s office.
I smile up at him; but James looks distracted.
“What’s wrong?”
James sighs. “These past few days... I should have realized that you hadn’t written the note. I should have stopped her from Imperiusing me, I should have tried harder not to kill you, I should have held the Shield Charm up longer, I should have... Lily, I’m the one who’s an idiot, not you.”
“We’ve both been idiots,” I say.
James nods, gazing into my face as though it is the most important thing in the world.
“Idiots in love, that is.”
James thinks about that. “I like it.” He leans in to kiss me again.
Yes, idiots in love, we are. And that is the way it should be.
When Love Prevails by BertieBotsBeans741, PadfootnPeeves
Chapter Notes: Once again, thanks goes out to Mavis and Nikki for beta-ing. And we'd also like to thank our lovely guide, Emma. Thanks, dear. =)
Chapter Endnotes: We love reviews. Go on, tell us what you think. =D We hope you enjoyed the read.
Also, something to note, the chapter titles are a reference to James fighting for Lily and Lily for James.