'HERMIONE! HERMIONE!'
'You are lying, filthy Mudblood, and I know it!'
'HERMIONE!'
'What else did you take, what else? ANSWER ME! CRUCIO!'
'HERMIONE! HERMIONE!'
Ron woke, sobbing into his pillow and still shaking from the vivid dream, which had haunted his sleep. Drenched with sweat, he cast around wildly for the source of his terror.
His heart started to slow as he began registering his familiar surroundings. He was in his own bed, in his own room, next to the only person in the world he cared about right now. And she was safe. His heartbeat slowed to normal as he took several steadying breaths.
His panic had not gone unnoticed, however. Hermione had been roused by his mutterings and sobs. Groping about lazily for her wand, she muttered, "Lumos!" before turning her bleary-eyed stare on him.
"Wh – what … is the … matter? You were moaning in your sleep."
Ron stared, still awestruck by the beauty of the woman in front of him; still unsure if she was really there; and still slightly afraid that this was the dream and he would shortly wake up to the terror of a world filled with Hermione's screams. In the dim wandlight, she looked more fragile and delicate than he had ever seen her. He longed to reach out and touch her porcelain cheek, but feared he might break her. He wet his lips, unsure of how to broach the subject. It had been three years. And in all that time, they had not mentioned it once – not one word.
"Nothing, it was ... nothing. It doesn't matter."
"What is it, Ron? You know you can share anything with me. After everything we went through, nightmares aren't exactly unexpected. It'll help to talk about it."
He could not bring himself to look into her concerned brown eyes.
"I – I had a dream. We were … back in Malfoy Manor. And what they did to you—"
Ron blinked away the tears that blurred his vision, as he stared resolutely down at his fidgeting hands.
Hermione was silent for a minute.
"Oh."
"And I felt – I felt the same things I did … before. I just kept calling your name, and I felt completely powerless, and I hated myself for letting them take you."
Ron's voice cracked, and he was unable to prevent himself from shaking.
"Because it should have been me they took, not you. I was next. I let them have you. I – I should have died rather than let her hurt you. What if you had never come back – and—" Ron's body shook uncontrollably as he tried to get the words out.
"I failed you. I was meant to look after you. But I failed you, and I let her – I let her—"
Ron trailed off, unable to finish, and sat there, his knuckles white in his balled-up hands.
There was silence in the room, the dim light illuminating Ron's helplessness until Hermione let out a strangled, maniacal laugh, very unlike her own.
"You - you - Ignorant -"
Ron looked up in alarm to see Hermione, face livid, chest heaving. He was momentarily sidetracked by the sight.
"Wha—?"
"You ignorant, stupid, selfish - You never learn, do you?"
Hermione's voice climbed higher and higher with every syllable.
"I thought you would get it by now! But no. You're still the same blind, little toe-rag you were when I met you ten years ago, aren't you?"
"Well, I'm taller now—"
But now, she was up and shrieking at the top of her lungs. The fragile, porcelain doll was gone, and in its place, there stood a fearsome Medusa, as beautiful as she was terrifying. Her eyes blazed, and Ron had no choice but to gaze into their fiery depths.
"You don't get it, do you? You have NO IDEA of how much I LOVE YOU, DO YOU?"
Ron sat there, lost for words, staring helplessly at the clearly deranged woman in front of him.
Hermione was quieter and her voice steadier, but no less dangerous, when she spoke next.
"Do you know what that – that woman did to me when she had me there?"
He continued to stare mutely.
"No, you don't. Because you couldn't. She did things to me – made me see things … that no one should ever have to know about.
"I have been t – tortured once in my life. By one person.
"And I am certain – I know – that no one could torture anyone so viciously, with such precision as Bellatrix Lestrange could. Most people do it out of hatred, some out of necessity, but not Bellatrix. She did it out of lo—" Hermione paused, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath as if to steady herself. "Out of love.
"Because she loved to see the effect that suffering had on another person. The effect it had on – on me. Not even Voldemort could match up to her; I know this. He did not know what love was. He did it for the cause. She did it for the effect.
"And the things she did to me ... the things she forced me to experience ..."
She wavered briefly, before lifting up her chin and pulling back her bushy hair violently to reveal the silver of the scar on her neck that was the only physical reminder of Bellatrix's assault.
Now Ron simply saw Hermione – the one person he loved – with a little bit of herself still caught in Bellatrix's trap and burdened with memories no one should have to carry.
"Did you think that the wounds, that the cuts and bruises were the worst that she did to me? Did you ever think of what it made me feel? I sat there, completely helpless, while she – while she hurt me ... and I – I was so scared, and I knew there was no hope, because she wouldn't let me feel hope ..."
Hermione fought against the tears that threatened to take engulf her.
"But you never wondered about what got me through it all, did you? About what stopped me from giving away the truth, from begging for death?"
Ron's throat was dry. He wasn't sure of how much more he could bear to hear.
"It was you."
And with this, Hermione finally was unable to hold back the tears any longer, yet she continued to talk through her sobs.
"It was the thought that I might live to see your face again, the thought that you were still alive and that I would one day make a life with you. You saved me that day. And you've saved me every day since then.
"And you sit there, with the audacity, with the arrogance, to say that you failed me. Can't you see it? Don't you realise how much I love you? Are you really that stupid?"
Ron continued to stare. After a moment, he croaked, "You really want to start a life? With me?"
With a sound somewhere between an exasperated sigh and a sob, Hermione picked up the closest pillow and hurled it at him. Ron sat there, too dumbstruck to protect himself as it walloped him across the face. Hermione was now half crying, half laughing as she continued.
"Of course I do, you complete idiot! I love you, more than I can ever say. I thought you would have realised that by now!"
Ron felt himself going as red as the roots of his hair. "Well – Well now I do."
"So, don't you ever forget that, do you hear me? It's because I love you that I'm here today. And if you ever let me hear you say, or even think, that I don't love you with all my heart, then I'll – I'll—"
"Attack me with angry birds?" Ron interjected quietly.
She would have slapped him if he didn't look such a sight – cheeks burning and a half smug, half embarrassed grin on his face. Instead, she flung her arms around his neck and let him hold her tight.
For the first time, Ron realised with a lurch that Hermione was real, that she was here to stay and that the woman he had loved for years loved him just as much as he loved her. And so, he held her tighter, with more love and care than he would have ever believed possible.
Hermione didn't say another word. She appeared content to drift off to sleep in the warm embrace of her protector. And Ron watched her, until his eyelids grew heavy. He wasn't afraid of falling asleep. He knew she would always be there.
A Lesson in Love by Hufflepuff at heart
Story Notes:
A huge thanks to my two fantastic betas, h_vic and coolh5000!
Chapter Endnotes: Thanks for reading! All reviews welcome!