Lily eventually emerged from her room shortly before dinnertime. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were still a little red and swollen but she felt better now that the initial shock was over. As she entered the common room, she saw Kelly and Meredith playing Wizard Chess and Andy sitting on the couch reading a textbook. Seeing her friends made her feel slightly better and she gave her friends a small smile as she cleared her throat.
Andy looked up from his book. “Hey, Lily. How are you feeling? Kelly told me something was wrong but she wouldn’t say anything specifically.” His eyes darted over to his girlfriend, who shook her head slightly.
Lily nodded. “I’m feeling better but it wasn’t about anything important.” She saw Kelly exchange a look with Meredith and quickly changed the subject before they could say anything. “What have you been up to all afternoon?” Lily asked her friends.
“I’ve been doing the vampire reading for Professor Burns. Have you started it yet?”
“I finished it yesterday.” She sank onto the couch next to Andy and sighed. “What do you think of James’ new girlfriend?” Lily asked, looking at each of her friends, curiously.
“James has a girlfriend?” Andy said in surprise. Despite her own feelings, Lily had to smile at her friend’s remark. Andy was always the last one to notice changes, whether it was relationships, political news, or even new haircuts.
“I think he could do better,” Kelly commented. “I didn’t think he was interested in girls like Olivia.” She gave Lily a sad, apologetic look and turned back to the chess board.
“I agree with Kelly,” Meredith added in. “Sirius told me that he went out with Olivia last year for about a week and she’s as dumb as a post. Checkmate.” Kelly groaned as Meredith’s queen chopped her king to pieces.
“Shall we head down to dinner?” Kelly asked.
Lily slowly rose from the couch and trudged across the room with Andy, while Kelly and Meredith packed up their game.
“Don’t be so glum, Lils,” said Andy, giving her a hug. “If he’d rather date that little blonde girl, then that’s his problem. You’re ten times the girl she is, anyways.”
“Thanks, Andy,” Lily said, sadly.
Despite the encouragement Andy, Kelly, and Meredith gave her on the way down to the Great Hall, Lily’s mood still could not be lifted at dinner. As they approached the Gryffindor table, she spotted James’ raven-black hair and inwardly admonished herself for her automatic excitement at seeing her friend. No, she couldn’t sit with James tonight, especially since Olivia was sitting right next to him giggling and twisting her hair around her fingers.
Lily rolled her eyes and turned away from the new couple to serve herself a spoonful of mashed potatoes. After a few bites, though, she pushed away her plate and sat back in her chair with a sigh. Her dinner had no flavor tonight and she was beginning to feel a little sick to her stomach. Glancing down the table, Lily saw that Olivia was now chatting animatedly to James and playing with their interlaced hands. The little food that she had eaten turned in Lily’s stomach and she leaned her elbows on the table.
“Lily? Lily?”
Turning her head towards the voice, Lily saw Kelly tilt her head to the side a little, looking slightly worried.
“Are you alright?” Kelly asked.
Lily’s eyes involuntarily darted over to where James and Olivia were sitting before she replied. “Spectacular,” she answered flatly.
“Are you sure? I asked you when the next Hogsmeade meeting was three times and you never responded,” Kelly said, concernedly.
“Oh, really?” Lily responded, dully. “There’s a Hogsmeade trip the weekend before holiday break.” She sighed heavily before continuing, “But I’m not going.”
Meredith leaned across the table to whisper something to Kelly and Lily took the opportunity to sneak a peek at the happy couple again. To her disgust, it appeared as though Olivia wanted all of Hogwarts to know she was dating James Potter for she had begun snogging him again. Looking back at her friends’ sympathetic faces, Lily rose from her seat.
“I’m not really hungry anymore. I think I’ll go to the library and catch up on some homework. I’ll see you later, okay?”
Kelly gave her another apologetic look and Andy nodded.
“Feel better, Lily,” called Meredith as Lily turned to leave.
*****
The next couple weeks were difficult for Lily. She went to her classes, did her homework, patrolled the halls for Head Girl duties (by herself, as she and James had reached a silent agreement to walk separately) and tried her best to avoid James and Olivia as much as she could.
This, however, was not always possible. Once in the library, Meredith and Lily had been looking for a book and found Olivia snogging James behind a shelf of dusty books in the back of the library.
“Ugh, it looks like she’s trying to eat his face,” Meredith said in disgust as they quickly walked away.
Hearing a soft chuckle, both girls turned to see the other three Marauders sitting at a table piled high with books.
“That’s a good way of putting it, Meredith,” Sirius laughed. “I think I have a pretty good guess at who you’re talking about. Olivia took him away to show him something about ten minutes ago,” he said, throwing down his quill.
“Sirius,” Remus muttered, shoving his elbow in Sirius’ side and glancing at Lily.
“Don’t worry about it,” Lily said, waving her hand, to stop Sirius from apologizing. Turning to her friend, she said, “Hey, Mer, I’m a little tired so I might just head up to bed.”
“Okay, Lily. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Meredith replied, sitting down with the Marauders as Lily exited the library.
On another, more embarrassing night, Lily opened the door of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom to retrieve her forgotten textbook to find James and Olivia in the middle of a heavy snogging session. Blushing furiously, she left the room without even apologizing and ran all the way back to the Gryffindor common room.
“Lily, what happened?” asked Andy, as Lily stumbled through the portrait hole. Meredith, Kelly, and the three Marauders who had been lounging on the couch and in the squashy armchairs by the fireplace looked up at Andy’s question.
“James and Olivia,” she managed to say, collapsing on the couch by Kelly’s side. Lily saw her friends exchange looks.
“Lily, don’t worry about him,” Kelly said, wrapping her arm around Lily and giving her a squeeze.
“Yeah, Lily, he’s being a git,” Meredith persisted. “If he was smart enough to realize how miserable you are, I’m sure he would dump that blonde in a heartbeat.”
Lily’s stomach turned over at what Meredith had just said. Though James had speculated that she fancied him, she had never told him that he was right. She had been the one demanding friendship when it was clear they both had feelings for each other. She might as well have thrown him at Olivia. Groaning, she leaned her head against Kelly’s shoulder.
Once Kelly, Andy, Meredith, and the Marauders had finished giving Lily words of sympathy and encouragement, they drifted back into regular conversation, back to the real world, that continues to move on no matter what happens.
“Kelly, did you say you’re spending Christmas here or at your house?” Lily heard Remus ask.
“Actually, I’m going to be spending it with Andy at his parents’ house.” Even though she couldn’t see her friend’s face from where she was lying, Lily could tell that Kelly was beaming and she couldn’t help but be happy for her.
“So I guess it’ll just be Padfoot and me spending Christmas alone at Hogwarts,” Remus said with a sigh. “You and Andy will be gone, Peter’s going home…”
“I’ll be staying…and I think James and Lily are staying as well,” interjected Meredith.
“Oh great, Christmas with the King of Snogging,” Lily muttered, sarcastically.
She saw Sirius smile a half smile for a second and then quickly change the subject. “Did you think Quidditch practice was hard today, Meredith?”
“Yes! We were out there for hours!”
“Seemed more like days it was so cold,” Sirius commented.
“Yeah, and I just know I’ll be sore for days now!” Meredith exclaimed, holding her upper arm.
“You know, if you have someone massage you, you won’t be as sore,” Sirius advised with a mischievous grin.
“Really?” asked Meredith, turning to Andy, looking hopeful.
“No, Meredith. I don’t mean any offense to Andy, but I don’t think he’s as good as I am. Let me massage you,” Sirius offered and motioned Meredith to come towards him.
Andy merely shrugged while Meredith blushed deep scarlet and mumbled, “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, it’s no problem,” said Sirius with a smile.
Meredith rose hesitantly from the couch and sat on the floor in front of Sirius’ armchair. Once he began to massage her, though, she seemed to relax and a small smile crept onto her face.
Suddenly, Lily heard the portrait hole open and looked up to see James step into the common room. She met his eyes for a split second before she leapt off the couch and dashed up the stairs to the girls’ dormitories.
“Where’s Blondie?” Lily heard Sirius ask and she stopped on the dark landing to hear James’ reply.
“She realized she had an essay due tomorrow so she’s in the library.” James sounded like he was smiling and she could picture him shaking his head fondly at his forgetful girlfriend. Not wanting to hear anymore, Lily started up the stairs again but stopped when she heard her name.
“So I take it Lily’s still not talking to me,” James said.
“Yeah, I think she’s still pretty upset with you about Olivia,” Lily heard Remus answer.
“Still?” James asked, sounding a little distressed and she heard a noise that sounded as though he had flopped onto the couch.
“Yeah, but think about it, mate,” Remus continued. “How would you feel if you were in Lily’s shoes?”
James sighed loudly and then answered, “I guess I see what you mean. I’d be miserable if it were me.” He paused before continuing, “But then again, I’m the one that’s been in love with her for years and she doesn’t give a””
“That’s not true,” piped up Peter, who had been quiet the entire evening. “Lily’s always moping around now that you’re going out with Olivia.”
The room was silent for a minute.
“Is that true, Pete?”
Lily didn’t hear a response so she assumed Peter was nodding. What she didn’t expect, though, was James’ response.
“Well, even if that is true, it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve spent too much time chasing after that girl only to get nothing in return,” James said, frustration in his voice.
“What are you saying, Prongs?” Sirius asked, tentatively.
“I’m saying what I tried to say at the beginning of this year by distancing myself from her and what I mean now by dating Olivia. I’m giving up on Lily. It’s a lost cause and I’ve had enough.” Lily heard what sounded like a cushion being thrown across the room. “And you can tell her this, too. She can stop feeling sorry for hurting my feelings by rejecting me for the umpteenth time. I’m through.”
Lily heard James get up from the couch and stomp up the stairs to the boys’ dormitories and then she ascended the remaining steps to her own dormitory.
Lily groaned as she felt her stomach turn over. Could nothing go right? Why had she been too stupid and proud not to tell James she had feelings for him too when she had had the chance? She put her head in her hands as she remembered what she had overheard James say. He had given up on her. After seven years of relentlessly pursuing her, he had given up. Swallowing the lump forming in her throat, Lily tried to remain positive. Maybe James had just said that out of frustration and it wasn’t true. Maybe there was still some chance that he would dump Olivia and try his chances with her again. This time she wouldn’t reject him or publically humiliate him because she knew she truly returned the feelings he had for her.
Pulling back the sheets and climbing into bed, Lily recalled that James had said that he had given up on her before. That decision had obviously not held up, as he had just confessed his feelings to her no more than two weeks ago. A small smile crept across her face at this memory. There was still a chance that not all hope was lost and with this thought, Lily drifted off to sleep.
*****
On the last Saturday before winter break, Lily woke up to hear the excited chatter of her roommates. Looking over at her clock, she saw that it was still early and frowned.
“What are you all doing up so early?” Lily demanded, her voice still hoarse from sleep.
“Today’s Hogsmeade,” answered Meredith simply. “And look!”
Lily turned towards the direction Meredith was pointing to see a blanket of snow outside the window. Groaning, Lily rolled over onto her side and pulled her sheets up to her chin. This was not going to be a good day.
Everyone had someone they wanted to spend the day with in the village except her and she would be forced to be a tag-along. On top of that, she would have to slog through the cold wet snow all day.
“What’s wrong, Lily?” Meredith inquired.
“You don’t feel sick, do you?” Lily heard Kelly ask.
Now that she thought about it, Lily didn’t feel well either. Her throat hurt a little and under her blankets she was suddenly very hot.
“No, I don’t feel the best, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” Lily replied, nonchalantly. She didn’t want her friends to worry about her.
So, despite the fact that she felt a little sick and was not looking forward to spending the day in the village at all, Lily went to Hogsmeade with her friends. When they first arrived, Kelly and Andy went off together towards The Three Broomsticks and since Peter had asked out a round faced girl from Hufflepuff, Lily was left with Meredith, Sirius, and Remus.
“Sirius, could you please stop that?” asked Meredith impatiently as they walked down Main Street. Sirius, who had been shaking the snow out of his hair, sort of in a dog-like fashion, looked over at Meredith and raised his eyebrows, quizzically.
“You’re getting me wet by doing that” explained Meredith.
“Oh,” said Sirius, giving Meredith a mischievous smirk. “Is that bothering you?”
Meredith nodded. “Yes, you’ve been doing it for”hey!”
Sirius had leaned towards Meredith and vigorously shook his head.
“Sirius! Thought that was funny did you?” Meredith reprimanded. “Look at me! I’m all wet now!” As she spread her arms to support this statement, Lily saw Sirius’ eyes run down her figure.
“Okay, you two. Before we all freeze, let’s go inside,” Remus suggested, holding open the door to the shop.
The rest of the day in Hogsmeade was fairly uneventful for Lily but by the time she stomped through the snow back up to the castle, her throat hurt more than ever, her nose was stuffed up, and she was dead tired.
Right before Lily entered the castle, however, a cold, wet snowball hit her on the back of the head. Whipping around, she spotted James standing a few yards away smiling the crooked smile that made her heart melt.
“You…” she said, brows furrowed and hands on her hips.
James smirked at her and gave a small wave.
“Where’s your little girlfriend?” Lily called, as she picked up a handful of snow and hurled it at him.
“Olivia? Oh, she doesn’t really like the cold so she went inside.”
He scooped up another snowball and threw it at her. Lily dodged it but slipped and fell on the ground.
“Oh, sorry. Are you okay, Lily?” James said, starting towards her.
Lily took advantage of this and threw a big snowball right in his face.
“Then why were you waiting out here?” she asked smugly, as James wiped the snow out of his eyes.
Ignoring the question, James bent down and scooped up some more snow. Seeing this, Lily stood up and ran in the opposite direction, barely dodging the snowball he threw at her.
“Does it matter to you why I was waiting out here?” he asked, dodging the snowball she threw back at him.
Lily ducked behind a tree while James made his next snowball. It was quiet for a few seconds and she wondered for a moment if James knew where she was hidden. Then, she felt a big cold snowball land in her hair and drip down her back. Screaming, Lily ran out from behind the tree and jumped on James’ back. This surprised both James and Lily and they fell to the ground in a heap of snow.
“Nice one, Lils,” James said, laughing.
Lily spat the snow out of her mouth and rolled off of James, coughing. James sat up and pounded on her back.
“You know, I didn’t really expect you to jump on me like”are you okay, Lily?”
Still coughing, Lily nodded. It was very cold outside and her wet clothes were not making her feel any better.
“Are you sure?” James asked once she had stopped coughing.
As if on cue, Lily sneezed. “Really, I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me,” she assured him. Then under her breath she added, “You can go back to playing tonsil tennis with your girlfriend.”
“What was that?” James asked, raising his eyebrows. “I think I’d better get you out of this cold.”
With that, he helped her up, slinging her left arm around his shoulder, and helped her into the school.
“James, seriously. This isn’t necessary.” She paused to cough into her sleeve. “I’m perfectly capable of walking myself back to the common room.”
“The common room?” he repeated, incredulously. “I’m taking you to the hospital wing.”
“But what about Olivia? What if she sees you?”
“I’d be surprised if she was opposed to me taking a sick friend to the hospital sing,” James answered simply. “She’s my girlfriend. She should understand.”
Lily winced inwardly at how casually James said that. Almost as if he had been dating Olivia for months…
Sighing, her eyes wandered over to James. His hazel eyes were looking straight ahead and his mouth was set with determination. She hadn’t been this close to him in a while and she was beginning to realize how much she had missed him. She had missed his arm now wrapped tightly around her waist and his messy dark hair which used to annoy her so much and the smell of his clothes when he held her close...
As they rounded a corner, James broke the momentary silence. “You never answered my question, Lily.”
“What?” She racked her brain, trying to remember.
“Outside in the snow…I asked you if it mattered to you why I was waiting…and you never answered…” He broke off and looked over at her.
“Well…I am curious…but”” she broke off and sneezed.
“Bless you. And don’t worry about it, Lils. I’m not going to put you on the spot,” James said. He flashed his crooked smile. “I was waiting for you out there.”
Lily nodded and waited for him to continue.
“You see, I don’t know if this ‘pretending the other person doesn’t exist’ act is going to work out.” James’ hazel eyes met hers and Lily felt herself blush and her stomach do a back flip.
“You don’t?” Lily asked, trying to act casual and suppress the sudden feelings of excitement and hope.
“I miss you, Lily,” he said. “I miss talking with you and goofing around with you and being your friend. I know you said you didn’t feel the same way I did about you but now that I have Olivia, I don’t see any reason why we can’t be friends.”
Lily felt her heart sink and while James grinned at her, she could only return a half smile, half grimace. He only wanted to be friends and here she was half-hoping he was going to announce his break up with Olivia and proclaim his love for her again.
“That’s great, James” she finally managed to get out. “Sure, we can be friends again.”
“Good! Well, here you are,” he said, steering her into the hospital wing. “Do you want me to stay a bit and make sure you’re alright?”
“No, I’ve got it,” Lily said, tensely. “You can leave.”
“Okay. I hope you feel better, Lils. And I’ll probably see you at dinner tonight. I can introduce you to Olivia if you want.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary. Good-bye, James,” she said, ushering him out the door.
Once he was gone, Lily turned around to face the hospital wing and let out a loud, disheartened sigh.
More than Meets the Eye by lilybobily7
Chapter Notes: Disclaimer: JKR owns this wonderful world, not me.
Thanks a bunch to my amazing beta, without whom, this story would not be what it is.
Enjoy chapter 14!
Chapter Endnotes: Well, I hope you still liked the story despite the fact that it's not nearly as upbeat as previous chapters. But I promise things will turn around soon.
In the next chapter, Lily talks with someone in the Hospital Wing. Any guesses as to who this character might be? I'll bake a plate of cyber chocolate chip cookies for anyone who gets it right. =]
I would love to hear any comments/advice about the chapter or story in general. Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed. You guys keep me motivated to write!