Ever since childhood, Kingsley had hated dress robes. He felt out-of-place in them. Possibly because the world simply didn’t make them to fit a man of his size. They were always short in the sleeves and legs. He conjured extra material to hide the defects, but it always disappeared before the evening ended. Kingsley felt stupid in dress robes; it was that simple.
He also felt stupid paying to have a dozen roses sent to Elysia Malfoy daily. The bills were large, so he had to assume that she’d moved far from England. He wasn’t surprised.
He was, however, hurt that she failed to respond to him. At this point, he’d even be glad to receive a letter politely telling him to bugger off. Receiving nothing, he didn’t know what to think. He wondered if she was even getting his daily gift.
One thing he knew for sure, she wouldn’t be responding in time for the ball. He would be going alone. The evening would be spent standing in front of the punch bowl looking silly. Everyone would be polite, but they would notice he was alone”always alone. Next his female colleagues would be trying to set him up with their friends. He shuddered at the thought.
He stripped out of the dress robes and returned them to their box. They were nothing special, but they would serve the purpose. Why should he go out of his way to look good for an event he didn’t even want to go to?
Sitting the box aside, he pulled on his regular robes and prepared for work. He wasn’t looking forward to that either. Harry and Ron would probably be waiting for him in his office. Bursting with questions, they would’ve assumed he’d heard from his love. He’d have to tell them that she hadn’t responded, and probably never would.
He considered sending an owl to the flower shop to cancel his daily order, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. If he canceled the order, that would mean he’d given up. He’d have to face the fact that Elysia really was gone forever. He wasn’t ready to do that. He’d give it one more day.
Apparating into his office, he was irritated to find that he’d been right about Harry and Ron. They were sprawled in their usual chairs, looking at him expectantly.
“Well,” Harry said, “can we know her name yet?”
“It’s only fair,” Ron added. “We convinced you to ask her. We’ll be meeting her tomorrow night, anyway. You might as well tell us about her.”
“You won’t be meeting her tomorrow night,” Kingsley said, settling behind his desk. “I very much doubt you’ll ever be meeting her. She hasn’t responded to me. She can’t forgive me, and wants to be left alone.”
“I don’t believe it,” Ron exclaimed. “You didn’t get anything?”
“No.”
“But that’s so unfair,” Harry said. “I thought she would give you a chance. It’s been so long. I can’t imagine that you would do something so unforgivable, especially to someone you loved so much.”
“I was young and foolish,” he replied. “I hurt her badly. I suppose some wounds never heal.”
“Blimey, I’m sorry,” Ron said.
“Me, too,” Harry added.
“I’m sorry, too,” Kingsley replied. “It would’ve been nice to have had a second chance. She’ll always be in my heart, and I suppose that will have to be good enough.”
“What about the ball?” Ron asked. “Are you going alone, then?”
Harry cast him a nasty look, but he didn’t seem to notice. Ron was used to getting dirty looks for speaking his mind. He hardly seemed to acknowledge them anymore.
“I don’t have a lot of choice,” he muttered. “I don’t want to go with anyone else, and the social committee is insisting that I attend.”
“I really am sorry,” Harry said.
Kingsley shrugged, trying to keep a small fraction of his dignity. “It’s just a ball. I’ve faced worse things than that. One night, and then it’ll be over and forgotten. No big deal.”
“Right,” Ron agreed quickly. “You probably won’t even have to stay for the whole thing. Just make an appearance and leave.”
“And we’ll be there,” Harry piped up. “You can hang out with us, if you like. It really won’t be that bad.”
Kingsley was not oblivious to the desperation in their voices. They wanted to make him feel better. They were probably blaming themselves for talking him into this foolishness in the first place. He had no one to blame, but himself. Harry and Ron were trying to help. They didn’t know the whole story. He should’ve known better than to rely on their uninformed opinions.
“It’ll be fine,” he said, trying to assure his friends that they’d done no harm.
Harry and Ron nodded, still looking uncomfortable.
“Well, we best be getting back to work,” Kingsley told them, hoping he sounded like his cheerful self. “We don’t get the day off to discuss my failed relationships.”
“We should get the day off to squeeze into those blasted dress robes,” Ron muttered.
“Stop blaming your dress robes because you’ve gained weight, Ron,” Harry told him with a smirk. “Why don’t you just buy a larger pair?”
“You sound just like Hermione,” Ron muttered.
Kingsley smiled. The friendly bickering and complaining were welcome. They were a sign that everything was going back to normal. Normal would be nice. He could use some normal.
He was sure that in a few days, once the ball was over, everything really would go back the way it was. Harry and Ron would forget about his lost love, and he would forget too. Elysia would return to the part of his mind where she had always lived. She had her own special place. There she would always be remembered, but she wouldn’t control his mind like she had for the past little while.
He was looking forward to things going back to normal. He would’ve preferred having Elysia back, but with that looking hopeless, he’d settle for having his old life back.