Login
MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Snape Didn't Die by OliveOil_Med

Printer
Summary:
Winner of the First-Annual Ravenclaw Quicksliver Quill Award for Best Humor, Wittiest Writing!


Snape didn't die, he simply joined the Witness Relocation Program. A funny slogan for an avatar, but what if some crazed author somewhere decided to write the story behind it?

On the run from all those who would want to see his head on a platter, Severus Snape is put through a series of tests. But between scantily-clad Ministry agents, seeing-eye elves, and an all-witch school and all the drama that goes along with it, he is beginning to wonder how much worse the alternative would really be.

Happy Birthday, Chante'!

Ratings: 3rd-5th Years [ - ]
Category: Humor Fics
Characters: None
Warnings: Mild Profanity
Challenge:
Serie: None
Chapters: 7 Completed?: No
Wordcount: 39652 Viewcount: 29513
Published on: 12/23/08 Updated On: 06/18/11



Story Notes: This story was spun out of a birthday present for my dear friend, Chante'.


1. Chapter 1 The Best Laid Plans by OliveOil_Med [ - ] (3420 words)
Snape had his throat ripped out by a snake and the fangirls cried. But it's also someone's birthday.

Thank you, Anna, for being a great beta!

2. Chapter 2 Seedy City Streets by OliveOil_Med [ - ] (4554 words)
Severus Snape is seemingly abandoned on a merciless-looking city street, but luckily (or unluckily), he does not remain alone for very long.

Thank you, Anna, for nit picking you way through this chapter!

3. Chapter 3 Breaking Glass in an Apothecary by OliveOil_Med [ - ] (7275 words)
Shoshana allows Severus out to play in Hieging Place, the New York City wizarding market. But life still refuses to give him a break.

This chapter contains a few characters from my other stories that you might recognize. Keep you eyes open!

Anna, you are amazing!

4. Chapter 4 That Freaky Girls’ School by OliveOil_Med [ - ] (4064 words)
Severus Snape arrives in Salem, receiving his first impression of the Salem Institute for Young Witches.

Thank you to my lovely beta, Anna!

5. Chapter 5 Severus’ Fi(Wo)rst Day by OliveOil_Med [ - ] (7969 words)
Severus begins his first day of teaching at the Salem Witches Institute, but it only takes a matter of moments for everything to begin snowballing downhill.

Thank you to Anna for being the world greatest beta and putting up with sooooo many mistakes in this chapter!

6. Chapter 6 It Begins by OliveOil_Med [ - ] (5970 words)
Severus does his best to move on from his horrible first day at the Salem Institute for Young Witches—make a fresh start—but his students aren't about to let that happen!

Thank you to Hermione_Rocks and hogwartsbookworm for their lovely beta work!

7. Chapter 7 An Effective Guide to Professo by OliveOil_Med [ - ] (6400 words)
Now that the Salem girls had made their move, the game has begun. Will Severus be prepared to take his turn?

Thanks to Anna, who comes out of retirement just for this story.