Nagini’s sitting by an open fire.
Draco’s trying on a new robe.
Lestrange’s torturing sounds like a choir,
And Voldemort’s dressed like an Eskimo.
Everybody knows the Malfoy Manor
Helps to make the season grim.
Tiny tots with their eyes all a’glow,
Are under the influence of Imperio.
They know that Voldemort’s on his way.
He’s ready to kill at random today.
And every Death Eater is going to spy
To see if Harry Potter really knows how to hide.
And so I’m offering this simple phrase,
Because this silver hand is acting up these days,
Although you all are basically our slaves,
Merry Christmas to you.
I’ve been missing all the action out there,
Running as a rat and eating Hogwarts food.
I have nobody with love to share;
Frankly, the Dark Lord’s kind of rude.
Everybody knows I am a silly baby,
This much is true I know,
But even guys like me just want one day
To go and play in the snow.
I know that Santa’s on his way,
I know the Death Eaters will kill him without delay.
But I know that I’m going to cry
If I don’t glimpse a reindeer in the sky.
And so I’m offering this simple phrase,
To wizards, half-bloods, and Muggles too.
I know that we might kill you, any time, any day,
But Merry Christmas to you.