Teddy was restless in her arms. He wasn’t crying or fussing; he was simply on edge. Rolling over, he was always glancing around the room as if looking for someone. The last few days had been rough on him. Like his grandmother, he was used to Kingsley’s calming presence.
Rocking the baby, Andromeda felt guilty. It seemed there was nothing she could do to escape the feeling. Teddy couldn’t possibly understand what was going on. He didn’t know why the people he loved kept disappearing. She was scared this would start to scar him emotionally.
“It’s not your fault,” she told him, sitting his stuffed owl on the sofa beside them. She wanted to say more, but the words didn’t come. Nothing that had happened made sense in her mind. There was no way she could explain it out loud.
Tears clouded her vision when she thought about Kingsley. Nearly a week had passed and he was respecting her wishes. She hadn’t heard from him. She wasn’t surprised, but she couldn’t help being disappointed. A part of her”a large part”still wanted him around.
As if the fates had been listening to her inner thoughts, there was a knock at the door. There was no reason to believe the caller wasn’t Harry. He hadn’t been by yet that day, but somehow she knew better. In her mind, there was no doubt who was at the door.
Staring down at Teddy, she debated whether or not to answer the door. Seeing him would only give them both false hopes. After all, nothing was going to change. If she was with him, she’d be betraying Ted. She couldn’t do that. Why open the door and make things harder on both of them.
The knock came again.
Sighing, she placed Teddy in his crib and headed for the door. Maybe they needed more closure. Maybe that would make the loneliness and hurt stop. Ignoring him wasn’t going to help.
Pulling open the door, she stared into his clear eyes. He held out a bouquet of roses and a small wrapped box. Reluctantly, she accepted the gifts. He spoke before she could.
“I know you asked me to stay away,” he said. “I tried. Maybe I shouldn’t be here, but honestly, I don’t know where else to go now. I’ve grown so used to being here with you. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too,” she admitted, “but that doesn’t change anything. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not in my nature to push,” Kingsley continued, “and the last thing I want is to cause you pain. Still, here I am. I can’t stay away. I understand if you don’t want a relationship. I can deal with that. What I don’t understand is why we can’t go back to being friends.”
She knew her words might have the opposite effect of what she wanted, but she couldn’t lie to him. At the very least, she owed him the truth.
“We can’t go back because I’m in love you,” she told him, not meeting his eyes. “I can’t be around you and pretend that I don’t feel anything. I can’t be with you without being ripped apart by guilt. My only choice is to stay away from you, no matter how much it hurts.”
He thought about this for a second.
“I can’t give up on you,” he replied. “I’m going to keep coming back. If you tell me to leave, I’ll leave. But I will come back; hoping that one day you’ll want me to stay.”
“You shouldn’t do that,” she said, trying to think of something more final to say.
He shrugged. “I have to. The box is for Teddy. It’s another owl. I noticed his first one was getting a little worn.”
“I’m sure he’ll love it,” she said.
“Could I see him?” Kingsley asked, clearly uncomfortable making the request. “I’ll understand if you don’t want me to. It’s just”well, I’ve missed him, too.”
The sensible part of Andromeda’s brain knew this was a bad idea. Having Kingsley around again was going to get all their hopes up. Teddy would have to go through losing him, again. Yet, she couldn’t say no.
Kingsley loved Teddy. Teddy loved Kingsley. It would be a crime to keep them apart.
“Why don’t you give him his gift?” she suggested, handing him back the box. “I’ll put these flowers in some water. He’s in the living room crib.”
“Thank you,” Kingsley replied, a wide smile coming across his face.
Andromeda nodded. “You’re welcome. You should see him more. He really misses you. He’s at Harry’s a lot. Maybe you could visit there.”
His smile dropped slightly, but he nodded. She could tell he was trying really hard not to push.
She fled to the kitchen as Kingsley entered the living room. As she reached for a vase, her breath came in gasps. She felt lightheaded. All she wanted in the world was to run into the next room and jump into Kingsley’s arms. She’d hurt him when she suggested he visit Teddy and Harry’s. She hated that she’d hurt him, but it couldn’t be avoided. As long as she couldn’t be with him, they’d both be hurt.
After placing the flowers on the table and composing herself, she stepped into the living room. She couldn’t help smiling. Kingsley had settled on the sofa with Teddy and the new owl. Her grandson looked happy for the first time in days. His hair had changed to a light yellow. He ignored his new toy, reaching only for Kingsley.
Feeling her gaze on him, Kingsley looked up. He grinned.
“I guess I should be going,” he told her, rising to his feet and returning Teddy to his crib. Teddy cried slightly and reached up to grab his friend. Andromeda forced back tears as she realized how much her grandson was hurting because of her. “Thank you for letting me see him. And I will be back.”
“Kingsley,” she began, but he cut her off.
“I’m not giving up on you, Andromeda,” he said. “That’s a promise.”
With that he turned and left the house.