"Now you two behave yourselves in Diagon Alley today," Mrs. Potter fussed as she hugged James and Sirius. "You know that there are dangerous Dark wizards lurking about. I would hate for you to be harmed."
"Mum, stop worrying," James said gently. "Sirius and I won't get attacked by Death Eaters until they randomly turn up in Hogsmeade later."
"Oh yes, I'd forgotten. Well, take care, then."
As soon as James and Sirius Apparated to the Leaky Cauldron, they happened to come across their other two friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.
"Hello, Padfoot, Prongs," said Remus in his usual gentle, haunting voice. Remus, like the friends he had just greeted, was very handsome, but in a quieter, sadder way. He was thinner and paler than the others, and his soft brown hair fell into mysterious amber eyes. Being a Gryffindor as well, he was extremely brave, but for a different reason. You see, Remus was a werewolf, forced to spend every full moon as a wild animal with no human mercy and a thirst for blood. Even though his three best friends had mastered the difficult Animagus transformation in order to keep him company as animals, he still felt very depressed and isolated from normal people. This was especially true now because there was a certain black-haired girl he loved dearly, and he knew she would never love him in return if she discovered his terrible secret. But more about that later.
"Hello, Moony!" Sirius said jovially. "Hey, Wormtail."
Wormtail, or Peter Pettigrew, was the last of the Marauders. He was not handsome. He was short and plump, with mousy hair and watery blue eyes. He was in Gryffindor, but he was not brave. He knew this, and therefore harbored a secret, burning resentment for his three best friends. It was they who were good-looking and popular, they who were intelligent, they who possessed stupendous courage, and they who would end up dating perfect, beautiful women ... However, he put these bitter reflections out of his mind for the moment, because if he didn't, he would endanger the spontaneity of this story's entire plot. So he simply smiled up at his friends and said, "Hello," displaying his complete lack of creative conversational skills.
"Well, shall we get going?" James asked. "There is shopping to be done and a few more main characters to introduce."
"Right-o," Sirius agreed, and the four of them entered the hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley.
* * *
Lily and Sabrina were sitting outside Florean Fortesque's ice cream parlor, chatting and laughing, when they saw a tall, familiar girl heading toward them. "Raven!" they both shrieked, leaping to their feet and embracing their other best friend.
Raven Simmons was beautiful, of course, because as we all know, beauty is a requirement for being a friend of Lily's. She was tall, thin, and graceful, with silky, shoulder-length hair as black as night, and eyes the color of sparkling sapphires. She had a serene disposition and a kind, compassionate nature, and was in fact secretary of the Association of Defenseless Female Characters, or ADFC. She also cherished a secret, desperate love for a certain amber-eyed boy, but she knew he deserved someone more lovely, more outgoing, more perfect than she.
However, none of this showed on her face as she smiled at her friends. "I somehow knew I would find you here," she said in her soft, profound voice.
"Oh my God, Ray, are you a Seer?" cried Sabrina.
"No," she replied calmly, "I just figured something like this would happen next in this story. I don't know how, though, because this plot is not predictable at all."
"Awesome," said Lily. "Well, let's go to Flourish and Blott's to get our new books."
"You're lucky that shop admits Mudblood filth like you," said a cold, sneering, female voice from behind them.
All three girls whipped around. There in front of their table stood a group of sinister-looking people: Bellatrix Black, Sirius's lovely but despicable cousin; Lucius Malfoy, a tall, blond boy with a pale, pointed face; and Severus Snape, gangly and greasy-haired. They were all from Slytherin House, the sworn enemy of the brave Gryffindors and reputed supporters of the Dark Arts. All of them looked menacingly at the girls, daring them to fight back.
"Don't call Lily a Mudblood!" shrieked Sabrina, raising her wand. "She is worth more than twelve of each of you!"
"I didn't know you could do arithmetic, White," smirked Bellatrix. "No wonder my worthless cousin fancies you."
Sabrina knew she should feel disgusted at the thought of that arrogant, smooth-talking, sinfully handsome man fancying her, but she somehow couldn't manage it. In fact, was it possible that she ... liked him too?
Suddenly, Malfoy's sharp voice brought her out of her reverie. "Bella, how could you? White isn't supposed to figure out her feelings for your worthless cousin until later in the story!"
"Enough of this!" Lily interrupted before Bellatrix could defend herself. "If all you came here to do was to insult my parentage and give away major plot points, I'm afraid you'll have to go. I don't even know why you're shopping for school supplies anyway. Well, I can see why you're here, Snape, but what are you two doing here? Didn't you graduate long before us?"
"Don't confuse yourself with those complicated thoughts, Mudblood," snarled Lucius. "We are here simply because we add a touch more excitement to the story. Now get up so we can have your table."
"We were here first!" Sabrina challenged, her eyes blazing.
Snape, who had been lurking in the background, stepped forward, his sallow face reddening when he met Lily's green eyes. "She's got a point," he said quietly, speaking to Lucius but still gazing, transfixed, at Lily. "Maybe we could join them, however out of character it is for us to do so."
"Have you gone mad, Snape?" roared Bellatrix. "You want to be in the company of such filth?"
Snape's expression changed quickly, and he sneered openly at the girls. "You're right, Bella. I believe I shall hex the Mudblood first."
"Oh, no you won't!" yelled a heroic voice, and James Potter strode into view, followed by his three faithful friends. "You touch Lily Evans, and you'll have to answer to me!"
"I believe Potter is challenging us," said Lucius in his silkiest voice. "Come, my fellow Slytherins, let us show these amateurs how future Death Eaters fight!"
There followed a furious duel of wands and wits. Insults and curses flew with alarming rapidity between the Marauders, the Slytherins, and Sabrina. Lily half-rose from her chair to join the raging battle, but Raven pulled her back down, her face pale and worried. "No, Lily! Remember your place in the ADFC!"
"Oh, right," she sighed, slumping back in her seat. Sometimes she found that club to be extremely irksome. Sabrina had quit ages ago.
"You win this time, Gryffindor filth," Lucius called, and Lily looked around to see that the three Slytherins were departing, bearing several distinctive hex marks. "But this isn't over!" Lily thought she saw Snape flash her a final, longing glance, but was sure she must have imagined it.
Before she could contemplate further, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she found herself gazing into the concerned hazel eyes of James Potter. "Are you all right?" he asked quietly.
"I ... yes," she stammered, forgetting for the moment that Potter was an arrogant toerag. He is quite handsome, she thought to herself. I may possibly be attracted to him.
James leaned closer, his gaze still locked with Lily's. She parted her lips involuntarily, imagining what a kiss from him would be like. ...
"HEY, hey, wait a minute!" Sirius shouted in the background, and James and Lily parted with reluctant sighs.
"What?" James snapped in annoyance.
"You can't snog yet!" Sirius said indignantly. "If you start going out now, there'll be no plot! You can't do that!"
"You're right, Black," Lily said, coming to her senses. "Potter, how dare you try to kiss me? How dare you defend my honor? How dare you hex Slytherins on my behalf? How--?"
"Lily!" Raven said despairingly. "If you lose your temper--"
"I don't care about the damn Association right now!" Lily shrieked. "Potter is a ... a ... conceited, self-absorbed jerk! He deserves to be yelled at! Oh, let's just leave!"
"Until next time then, Evans," said James, successfully covering how deeply crushed he was by her rejection as the two groups of friends parted ways, not to meet again until their return to Hogwarts.
A Marauder's Cliche by KDTheRavenclaw
Chapter Notes: I'm baaaaack! Sorry for the delay in posting, there's this little thing called college that swallowed my life.
Anyway, wow, over 250 reads! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and of course, a big hug for G, one of my best friends and my unofficial beta. She tells me when chapters are funny enough to post, so if you don't agree, blame her!
And without further ado, on with the madness!
Chapter Endnotes: It has just occurred to me that I have not yet told you something very, very important. So prepare for a newsfhlash: I don't own Harry Potter. Really, I don't. I know you're all too shocked for words... But awaken from your fainting fit and review! I shall pass out virtual chocolate.