Chapter Five
The next day, Voldemort attacked Hogwarts. He got in by going to King’s Cross as the Hogwarts Express was leaving, killing a boy’s toad (the delicious tingle of power as he did it!) and taking its place. He then quietly bided his time until the middle of the welcoming feast, when he burst out of the chocolate gateau like a girl out of a cake, though there was not a single person in the entire world brave enough to make the comparison.
The very first thing he did was stride to the front of the room, where Dumbledore was sitting.
“This is for your own good,” he said sincerely, and the old fool fell from a green jet right in the stupid broken nose. Voldemort giggled insanely and kicked the body aside. Now for the Boy Who Lived.
Ah, yes. There he was, at the Gryffindor table, looking determined and heroic, struggling with his friends. He shook them off, vaulted the table, and”Voldemort’s jaw dropped, and he almost wept at the deliciousness of it. The kid was actually coming to him.
“You killed Dumbledore!” yelled the kid. Thank you, Captain Obvious.
“No, Potter,” answered Voldemort. “I am Dumbledore.” That would give the kid something to think about in the last few minutes of his life.
The kid’s lips moved for a minute, and then he apparently decided to ignore this and move on, because the next thing that came out was “Expelliarmus!”
Voldemort nearly laughed. Did he really think that one would work again?
“You’ll thank me for this one day!” he bellowed, effortlessly dodging Harry’s spell and retaliating with a well-aimed Avada Kedavra. Well-aimed, but the kid exhibited irritatingly swift reflexes and rolled out of the way. Bloody Quidditch training. The sport should really be banned.
“This”is”hurting”me”more”than it”hurts”you!” he snarled, punctuated by blasts. Potter ducked, twisted, leaped, and slid”like a flipping ballerina, Voldemort thought sourly”and managed to dodge them all, though one did hit that annoying Granger kid, which warmed the Dark Lord’s heart just a bit.
But that had been about eight deadly curses, and the kid was as perky as ever, blast him. The cold fingers of despair began to touch the Dark Lord’s seventh of a soul. Could it be that the runt would defeat him again?
But then he thought of Chudley, and felt engulfed by a warm wave of tough love, and he knew he could do this. He took a deep breath, dodged another Expelliarmus”the kid dueled like a broken record”and looked the Boy Who Lived straight in the eye. “I’m doing this because I love you,” he said.
That got him. And that split second of shock was all Voldemort needed. “Avada Kedavra!” he cried, and the Boy Lived no more.
That wasn’t the end, of course. It’s never enough just to kill the hero; afterwards you have to squash all the little sidekicks as well. But that was all in a day’s work, and Voldemort allowed his thoughts to wander as he methodically blasted, slashed, and burned. His life until now had been like a fantastic beach party that you can’t enjoy because there’s a mosquito whining in your ear. Well, now he’d swatted the mosquito. his life from now on was going to be nothing but a party.
As soon as he got home he was going to drink six bottles of Firewhiskey. Then he was going to take Chudley and drop-kick him through a plate-glass window. For his own good, of course.
Voldemort hearts Chudley by voldiexx
Chapter Notes: The End.
The violence warning is pretty much for this chapter. You know, in case the triumph of evil and innocent people dying left and right bothers you in any way.