Je Suis En Vie
By Harry and Ginny 4eva
“Both expectations and memories are more than mere images founded on previous experience.”
Samuel Alexander
Chapter IV - Pensées
When Harry was younger, he imagined himself working as an Auror in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at the Ministry of Magic, fighting dark wizards while travelling the world, and coming back to a neat, secluded office where he could enjoy a nice glass of Firewhiskey before returning home.
All these dreams came to an abrupt and rather nasty halt as soon as Harry entered the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. To say that it didn’t meet his expectations was like saying that saying Professor Binns was slightly boring.
Harry remembered the Department from the summer before his fifth year, when he and Mr. Weasley visited before his disciplinary hearing. The speedy walk-through in the Auror Office left him deeply impressed of the colourful and joyful environment. The laughter and the clutter all around were distantly connected to the feel he got when he visited The Burrow.
That’s why when he entered the Auror Office his eyes couldn’t believe what they were seeing.
The most noticeable change was where Kingsley used to sit. What used to be a cubical like all the other cubicles in the room, now became a secluded office with pitch black walls that stood in contrast to the huge white posters of Undesirables Number One, Number Two and Number Three that graced the walls. Right above the entrance door to the Head's office, hung a huge silver banner with curly, green writing on: "Their Weakness Is Our Power."
Ginny took Harry's hand, staring at his face from across the room. "Why is it still up? It's been four days since the battle!" she asked angrily.
"We hardly have any Aurors left, to be honest," started Kingsley. "But all in all, it's more important to actually catch Death Eaters right now," he said.
"Still, it would only take a second...,” said Ginny under her breath.
Harry, who listened to the argument only half-heartedly, continued to absorb his surroundings. The mess and clutter that he remembered were now replaced by eerie quiet and organized cubicles. Smiling faces didn't peek at him from photos on desks and the few Aurors Harry did see, were frowning over stacks of papers and maps, several memos hovering above each of the office’s occupants.
"Over here," said Kingsley and led them inside the Head's office. The office looked deserted, as if someone packed their things in a hurry and ran away. A huge map of Britain hung on the wall, and the little red pins that previously marked were Sirius was spotted, now marked, as Harry assumed, where he, Hermione and Ron might have been sighted.
The walls were coloured in dark green and, again, Harry stared at his poster with a look of dismay. Kingsley, noticing Harry's look, vanished the posters with a wave of his wand. A big roll of parchment lay ready on the desk, with a red quill hovering above it, ready to start recording the investigation.
Two Aurors stood in front of him, each frowning and had their hands crossed, wearing the signature scarlet robes. The first was tall and lanky; he had long black hair and looked worn and tired. The second was shorter than Kingsley was, and had grey hair and menacing eyes, although Harry could not understand why.
“Harry,” opened Kingsley. “These are Aurors Williamson and Greengrass and they will be the ones holding your investigation,” he said, pointing at the Aurors. "I'll be sitting over there," he said and pointed to a chair behind Harry. "So everything will run smoothly. I'll ask questions occasionally and stop the investigation when I see fit," he said formally. "And please, Mr. Potter," he turned to Harry. "Tell us what we need to know."
Harry, who never intended to lay in more information than absolutely necessary, nodded curtly. Kingsley nodded to one of the Aurors and took the back seat.
"Why is she here?" asked the grey-haired Auror and nodded towards Ginny. "It's a private investigation."
Harry opened his mouth to respond, but Kingsley beat him to it. "I have authorised Ms. Weasley’s presence in this investigation, Williamson."
Williamson tapped the quill with his wand and cleared his throat. "Investigation number 4682 of the sixth of August,” said Williamson. "Into the events of The Battle of Hogwarts by Harry James Potter, resident at number four Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey."
"I don't live there anymore," said Harry, frowning at Williamson.
"You are registered as a resident there until you register differently as an adult," answered the longhaired Auror on Williamson's right.
"Investigators: Kingsley Shacklebolt; Minister for Magic; David Aaron Williamson, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement; Alfred Madden Warner, Senior Auror; Jordan Aidan Greengrass, Practicing Auror."
"You are Harry James Potter of Number four Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey?" asked Williamson.
"Yes," Harry said, feeling a strong sense of déjà-vu from his trial four years ago.
"Were you present at The Battle of Hogwarts, of May second?"
"Yes," said Harry, rolling his eyes.
"Tell us what happened," said Williamson, rolling a quill between his fingers.
"Well, I killed Voldemort,” said Harry sarcastically, earning a barely noticeable choke of laughter from Ginny.
“Don’t get smart, Mr. Potter, we are on your side. Do tell us what happened please,” said the Auror on Williamson’s left.
“Thank you, Greengrass,” said Williamson. “Now, Potter, tell us where have you been in the last year. We have been looking for you all over and ““
“I don’t think this is relevant,” said Harry curtly. “You wanted to ask me about Voldemort’s downfall, not about what I did, right?”
“Yes, but your whereabouts were the Ministry’s conc-“
“Williamson, just get on with this,” growled Kingsley.
Williamson sighed. “Fine, Potter, let’s start with how you got into Hogwarts.”
The investigation took close to two hours of gruelling questions with Harry refusing to answer a large portion of them. Even though it was only two hours, Harry felt as if he was sitting there for ages. The heat and the need to cover up so many of the stories, so many parts of it, was taking its toll and Harry was getting tired.
When it was finally declared over by Williamson, Harry jumped to his feet and almost ran to the door. Kingsley and Williamson escorted them through the floor and to the lifts.
Just before they entered the lift, Williamson turned to Harry and shook his hand. “Thank you,” he said, looking sincere and weary.
Harry nodded just as the lift arrived and entered it, feeling Ginny’s hand slipping into his once again. Kingsley, much to Harry’s bewilderment, entered the surprisingly empty lift with them.
“Would you mind take a little detour to my office, Harry?” asked Kingsley as soon as the door closed. “There are some things I’d like to discuss with you… some things I would like to know… not as the Minister, but as a member of the Order and a friend.”
Harry, feeling he owed Kingsley at least some answers, nodded. A slightly tense silence descended upon the little group as the lift moved upwards.
“Level One, Minister for Magic and Support Staff,” said the witch’s voice. Kingsley, Harry, and Ginny stepped out and saw two witches running towards them, glancing at each other hastily while they ran. Harry took a step back, but Kingsley chuckled.
The witches arrived, panting, and almost immediately started talking together.
“Sir “ I just got a notice ““
“The administrator of Nurmengard just confirmed-“
“They are willing to host the prisoners-“
“Abbey! Myra!” the women immediately stopped talking and looked at Kingsley, still panting. “What happened?”
The witches started talking again, and Kingsley shushed them. “Myra “ please tell me everything,” he said and led the way towards what Harry assumed was his office. Harry and Ginny followed close behind. Much to Harry’s surprise and relief, Kingsley’s assistants stood very close to Kingsley, and apparently didn’t take notice of them at all.
“The administrator of Nurmengard Prison just sent in a note telling that he is willing to host prisoners for a while and that he will reinforce the prison with more guards for it,” said Myra in one breath.
“If Abbey wasn’t so eager to tell you this, she might have noticed that he added a P.S,” she said victoriously, pointing her gaze at the seemingly disappointed Abbey. “He said that there will be a possibility that he will need reinforcement for the guards if the prison will be full.”
Kingsley smiled and thanked them as he, Harry and Ginny entered the office. Abbey and Myra hurried out of the room, bickering, still not noticing Harry and Ginny.
“They are very competitive,” said Kingsley with a chuckle. “They know one of them will be promoted to Senior Undersecretary and the other will remain Junior or move to another department, that’s why they’re so eager to please me,” he said, sighing amusedly.
He sighed again and sat on his large cushioned chair while motioning Harry and Ginny to do the same. Harry looked around the office and noticed some things that were probably left the way they were when Scrimgeour and Thicknesse were Ministers.
Small burn marks were scattered randomly on the floor, marking where, Harry assumed, people were tortured, the wooden shelves looked worn and several nasty looking jars graced them, unrecognizable jelly-like materials floating inside.
He felt Ginny shudder a little as she noticed the odd-looking jars and Kingsley observing them silently.
“I’m keeping it there so we could investigate what it is when we have time,” he said, looking just as disgusted. “The Department of Potions and Plant Poisoning at St. Mungo's is swamped with an amazing number of questionable potions and mutated plants the Death Eaters invented,” he said, a crease between his eyebrows.
Looking at Harry, he continued. “We suspect Snape helped them there, he really was brilliant at Potions.”
“Snape was on our side,” said Harry, surprising both Ginny and Kingsley.
Surprised, Ginny looked at him, having not been told of Harry’s new allegiance. Kingsley looked at him in complete surprise and opened his mouth to reply, but Harry beat him to it.
“Just before he died he gave me some of his memories; he was on our side, although he had to give some information to Voldemort so it won’t look suspicious,” he said, staring quite defiantly at Kingsley.
“He was a master at Legilimency, Harry, he could have given you false memories,” said Ginny, frowning at him.
“He was dying…he was barely capable of holding my hand, let alone create false memories,” Harry said, certain he was right. Snape could not have created them on the verge of death…it was impossible…Snape’s last request of Harry to look into his green eyes seemed to confirm his story.
“Why would he do that?” said Harry in an afterthought. “He knew he was seconds from dying, why would he want to give me those memories that would assure me, of all people, that he’s innocent?” he said. “He wasn’t one to care what others thought of him.”
Kingsley seemed to contemplate Harry’s words. “What did he show you that made you so certain?” he asked, staring interestedly at Harry. “I don’t recall you being so fond of him…nor the other way around.”
“He…” started Harry, not at all finding it fair to expose Snape like that, even if he was a greasy, selfish git. After all, he spent all his life trying to hide that secret.
“It won’t leave this room,” said Kingsley reassuringly, as if reading Harry’s mind. “I just want to know what makes you say that so confidently.”
Harry looked at Kingsley, trying to assure himself he was not doing the wrong thing.
“He was in love with my mum,” said Harry, feeling somewhat uncomfortable and embarrassed all of a sudden. “They were friends from the time they were kids.”
“And he fell in love with her?” asked Ginny doubtfully, looking slightly pityingly at Harry. “I can’t imagine Snape ever being kind to someone, let alone love!”
Harry made an odd jerk like a nod and a shrug and felt his cheeks heat up. “Let’s… let’s not talk about it right now,” he said, hoping to explain this later, when he would get a little more comfortable around the issue.
“All right,” said Kingsley and straightened up in his chair. “You’re probably wondering why I brought you here,” he said, looking at Harry.
“I have a faint idea,” muttered Harry.
Kingsley ignored him. “I know that what you told us in the investigation wasn’t the complete story, but since I was at the battle, I could see what really happened in the Pensieve afterwards, and I have some questions regarding to things you told Voldemort.”
Harry groaned, it was not as if he didn’t know it was coming - he had expected it -but the concept of relaying all this information to Kingsley seemed highly irresponsible.
“Would you mind joining me at the Pensieve?” asked Kingsley and took a very large Pensieve off one of the shelves, putting it on the table. Harry was a little taken aback. It was one thing to answer questions, but to re-live it all again was something else entirely.
“I’m not sure that would be a good idea,” said Ginny, looking at Harry and then at Pensieve. “It’s only been a week; can’t you just hold it off?”
“I’m afraid not, Ginny,” said Kingsley, making a point of calling her by her first name. “We need to move on from the battle and start rebuilding. I don’t want to focus on what happened, but on what will happen,” he said in a very dignified, Minister-like way.
“Then why do you need Harry to tell you all this?” asked Ginny, her face reddening. “He already attended the investigation, this is-“
“I won’t do it,” said Harry, shaking his head. “It’s just too much right now. Can’t you just ask me some questions?”
Kingsley sighed and put his hands on the Pensieve, looking inside the silvery content sadly. “If that’s what you want, I won’t force you to do it, Harry. I just want some questions answered.”
Harry closed his eyes for a second. “Then ask me questions, I don’t want to see it again…I want to move on,” he said painfully, gripping the chair.
There was silence for a few seconds as Kingsley continued to watch the Pensieve and Harry looking at his knees.
“During the battle you said some things that made me wonder,” Kingsley started. “I’ve heard of Horcruxes before, of course, but it was so brief, I had to look it up again.”
Harry sighed inwardly as Kingsley kept talking. “Did Voldemort make one? Is that what you searched for the last year?”
“He didn’t make one,” said Harry, making Kingsley lift an eyebrow in question. “He made seven.”
Kingsley’s gasp of surprise was almost comical. “S-SEVEN?!” he stuttered. “Seven?! But that’s impossible! One is unimaginable!”
Harry kept silent as Kingsley spluttered silently. It was better to let him do the thinking than let him answer questions.
Kingsley seemed to collect his thoughts, still looking baffled. “I-I… are you sure? SEVEN?”
“Yes… Ron, Hermione, and I destroyed four, Dumbledore one and Neville one.”
Kingsley looked faint. “Neville? Longbottom?”
“Yes, he killed Nagini, Voldemort’s snake.”
“It was a Horcrux?” he asked weakly.
“A bit slow today, huh?” said Ginny cheekily.
“It’s not funny, Ms. Weasley! One Horcrux is unbelievable, seven is…”
A lengthy silence followed as Kingsley gathered his thoughts. Harry and Ginny glanced at each other every few minutes.
“Is that all?” asked Harry rather rudely. But for his defense, he thought, he really was desperate to go.
Kingsley seemed to step out of his stupor as he nodded. “What was that thing about the Elder Wand? Isn’t that something from the Tale of the Three Brothers?” said Kingsley, looking puzzled.
“It is, but I’m afraid that that’s one thing best kept in silence and not be told,” said Harry, fearing the chase after the wand will start again.
“Harry-“
“I’m sorry, I can’t tell you anymore,” said Harry and stood up, followed by Ginny. Kingsley stood up and exhaled.
“Thank you again,” he said. “I wished you could’ve said more.”
“So do I, Kingsley. So do I.”
As Harry and Ginny passed through the halls of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Harry took time to relax after a day of grueling and quite annoying questions. He did not think Kingsley was fair by calling and questioning him like that.
“You know,” said Ginny, momentarily distracting Harry. “That Pensieve is a really good idea.”
“What do you mean?” asked Harry, amused.
“A few decades from now you wouldn’t be able to remember all that, it’d be a good idea to store it somewhere other than your thick head,” she smirked.
Harry made a face at her. “Maybe,” he said. “I don’t have a Pensieve, though.”
“You don’t need a Pensieve to store your memories,” said Ginny, rolling her eyes.
“Where shall we go now?” asked Harry, deliberately changing the subject.
“I was thinking maybe we should go to see Teddy,” she said a little sadly. “Poor thing just lost his parents.”
Harry was silent. The irony was making him itch. An orphaned baby who was left at his aunt’s door and was treated as nothing more than a washrag and an orphaned baby who was left at his grandmother’s house, who was going to grow up with as much love and care as possible.
And at that moment, Harry decided that Teddy would not be like him. He would see to that. He was his godfather after all. He would get a place to live and Teddy would come see him and Ginny…
“Well?” asked Ginny, looking questioningly at Harry’s continuous silence. “What do you say?”
“Yes, let’s go,” he said, noticing they arrived at the entrance and he didn’t even notice.
Teddy would be different.
A/N: Finally, the chapter is done! I’m sorry it took so long, I had two versions of this chapter, one with Harry going into the Pensieve and this one, and I had to choose and change some things so it took time. It’s getting a bit harder to write even though some days it just flows out of my fingers. Hope you enjoyed it and sorry about last chapter, I know it was supremely depressing…