–She’s crazy!†Ron was telling Harry less than twenty minutes after leaving The Burrow. –I have no idea what’s got into her. I mean, this is Hermione we’re talking about. When has she ever put anything before an exam? She used to be the one making study timetables and revision guides. And now suddenly, I’m the one who needs to study and she can’t handle it. I know the wedding is important, but I can’t help it that I can’t just drop everything whenever there’s a crisis with the flowers or photographer. It’s like she’s become a completely different person, all because of this wedding!â€
Harry just nodded sympathetically as Ron ranted. He had been enjoying a reasonably quiet evening with Ginny at the flat he rented when Ron had turned up, fuming. Ginny had taken one look at him, and excused herself, no doubt returning to The Burrow to comfort Hermione.
–Maybe she’s just a bit wound up about things. I heard work isn’t going very well for her,†he offered, when Ron paused in his rant.
–What? How did you hear that? She hasn’t said anything to me.â€
–She probably just doesn’t want to worry you.â€
–Why, what’s going on? Seriously, Harry, if she’s in trouble you need to tell me.â€
Harry seemed to be doing his best not to look at him and he rushed his next sentence without pausing for Ron’s reaction, knowing exactly what it would be. –Oh it’s nothing serious, not like that, but I’ve been hearing things - people telling me she’s not having a particularly easy time of it. The man in charge of her office - Harold Longley - is one of the old-school types. Not a Voldemort supporter or anything like that, but definitely someone who believes in a certain about of respect for blood purity. He thinks Hermione only got her job because of her connections.â€
–What!†Ron’s face was bright red. –How dare he? Hermione was the brightest witch in our class. She could have had any job she wanted with grades like hers, best friend of the chosen one or not. What’s he been doing to her?â€
–Nothing obvious, I don’t think, but I don’t think she’s getting the kind of work she was hoping for. She’s been talking to Ginny about it mostly - he’s not openly discriminating but he’s made it quite clear she won’t be moving up in the department anytime soon. He’s giving her mountains of work - more than any normal person could handle, and of course being Hermione, she’s been killing herself to get it done. And then all the problems with her family and the wedding - I think it’s probably just been a bit much for her.†Harry trailed off at the end, not wanting to upset Ron anymore, but knowing that he needed to be told the truth.
–How the hell is this prat Longley able to get away with this? I thought the whole point of changing the Ministry was to get rid of bastards like him.â€
–Like I said - officially, he’s not doing anything wrong, but I’ve heard from a couple of people that he doesn’t treat her the same as everyone else.â€
–Yeah well, I’ll be paying him a visit on Monday, and then we’ll see what he thinks.†Ron had a fierce looking on his face and had subconsciously started balling his hand into a fist on his lap.
Worried he might not be prepared to wait until Monday, Harry put out a hand to stop Ron from standing. –No! Come on, Ron, do you really think that’s what she wants? You marching in there causing a fuss - if anything that would just make things worse.â€
–Well I don’t bloody know, do I? How am I supposed to tell what it is she wants when she doesn’t talk to me? I try, Harry, I really do. But the training is intense, and George needs me - he still does, even though he tries to pretend he doesn't - and then when I get home it seems like the only thing we talk about is the wedding, and all the problems it’s brought.â€
He sank back into his chair, a worn look on his face. –I don’t know, Harry. I’m starting to think you and Ginny had the right idea.â€
–What do you mean?†Harry asked, looking panic-stricken.
–I mean maybe this is too soon. Maybe we shouldn’t have rushed into a wedding like this. There’s so much going on. I hardly feel like I know her anymore. I’m not…I’m not sure this is a good idea anymore.â€
There was complete silence in the room. Harry just stared his at his best friend, completely shocked. He had never seen him like this before. So tired, and so hopeless. It was almost like he had another Horcrux round his neck, except this wasn’t one he could take off as easily as the locket.
–What am I going to do, Harry?†he croaked.
–I don’t know, mate. But you love her, don’t you?â€
Ron looked surprised at the question. –Of course I do! She’s Hermione. She’s clever, she’s pretty - she’s brilliant. And I want to marry her, I do. But I don’t want it to be like this. It shouldn’t be like this. We should be happy, not yelling at each other. I should be the one she tells about the crap happening at work, not Ginny.â€
–Well you need to tell her that. There’s no point sitting here talking to me. I know less about this stuff than you do.â€
–Yeah I guess. I’m not good at this stuff, Harry. I’ll probably screw it up and she’ll end up hating me even more.â€
–She definitely doesn’t hate you. Just go and talk to her. You’re Ron and Hermione. I’ve seen the two of you have more arguments than anyone I know.â€
Ron stood and sighed. –I’m not sure it’s going to be as easy this time. But I’d better go and try.â€
Harry stood and gave him an awkward half-hug. –I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?â€
–Suppose. I can’t really miss the training, can I?â€
–Well, good luck.†Harry saw him to the door of the flat, and, as soon as he was outside the wards, Ron turned and Apparated back home.
He landed in the back garden, and quickly headed for the kitchen door. Ginny and his mum were sitting at the table, drinking tea.
–Where’s Hermione?†he asked, looking around, as if she might be hiding somewhere.
–She’s not here,†replied Ginny, not looking at him. –She left this.†She handed him a folded piece of parchment.
His hands shaking, he opened it.
Ron,
I’ve gone to my parents’ for a few days. I need a break from all of this - it’s all becoming too much. Please don’t try and contact me - I’ll be in touch when I’m ready.
I love you.
Hermione.
Ron’s hands were shaking. –She’s gone,†he whispered, not sure whether he was telling himself or the others. Until he heard the words out loud, he wasn’t sure whether he really believed it. He had been so sure she would be here, waiting to talk things through with him, ready for him to apologise for being such a complete jerk. But she hadn’t even wanted to talk. She had just gone.
Unable to look at either Molly or Ginny, for fear that he might burst into tears if they showed even the slightest amount of sympathy, he strode from the kitchen and up to his bedroom, where he changed and got into bed, barely aware of his actions. He felt numb.
At least in his bedroom, there were no reminders - Molly Weasley may have just about accepted Ginny leaving to move in with Harry, but there was no way she was going to let Ron and Hermione share a bed while they lived under her roof, and so Hermione slept in Ginny’s old room. Still, he lay awake for hours, thinking, running back through every conversation they had had in the last few weeks, desperately trying to find the signs that she had been unhappy or trying to tell him something. Yes, she had been tired recently, but so had he, and he thought it was just a hazard of the job. The second year of Auror training was significantly tougher than the first, and he had been so wrapped up in everything that he hadn’t noticed anything else. And that was obviously the problem. How could he have been so blind to her unhappiness? He had promised that he would always be there for her, that he would look after her. They weren’t even married yet and he had already failed her.
Eventually, in the early hours of the morning, he fell asleep, but he had a restless night, haunted by strange dreams, and when his alarm went off at seven the next morning, he woke with a terrible aching feel of dread in his stomach, as if something awful had happened. And for a split second he forgot that something awful had happened, that Hermione had left him and that he had no idea whether they still had a relationship, let alone a wedding.
In spite of feeling like he might throw up at any moment, Ron forced himself to get out of bed. He had to be at the Ministry for nine, or he would miss the training. At least while he was there, he wouldn’t have to think about anything other than what he was doing. It was a practical session and would require intense levels of concentration and effort. There wasn’t any room for personal distractions when you were an Auror.
He was also comforted by knowing that he couldn’t run into Hermione either. They didn’t see each other very often at work anyway, but occasionally, when their schedules coincided, they would eat lunch together or he would sometimes bump into her in the lifts or hallways. But today was a Sunday and she wouldn’t be there.
He couldn’t believe that only twenty-four hours ago, everything had been fine (or at least, he had thought everything was fine). As far as he was concerned, he would be getting married to his fiancée in a matter of weeks and everything was on track. But now, here he was, relieved that he would even be able to avoid bumping into her in the hallways.
His mum was already up when he got downstairs and he wondered if she had had trouble sleeping as well. She made him some breakfast and they spoke about mundane things, sticking to the topics that were safe, neither one wanting to confront the Hippogryff in the room. However, just as he was getting ready to leave, she took his hand and said, –It’ll be all right Ron. You and Hermione are stronger than that, but she’s been going through some tough times recently and it’s probably good for her to get away from this for a while.â€
She paused for a minute and gave him a quick hug. –Your father and I nearly broke up for a while, you know,†she continued. –We had just finished Hogwarts and everything was suddenly so big and so terrifying that we didn’t really know how to handle it. But we worked it out in the end. And you will too, because you love each other.
–Now,†she suddenly returned to her usual bustling self, –you’d better get going or you’ll be late. We’re having the roast this evening so you and Harry don’t have to miss it. Have a good day, dear.â€
She pecked him on the cheek and he hurried from the house to Apparate to the Ministry.
The day passed in something of a blur, and honestly Ron wasn’t sure what he was there for. He did his best to keep his mind on the job but he couldn’t really care less, and was caught out more than once in simple defensive exercises.
–Weasley!†the senior Auror, Jones, barked as he was disarmed by Neville for the third time. –Get your head back from wherever it’s gone to and concentrate. You’re no use in the programme if you can’t focus.â€
–Yes, sir,†Ron instantly chimed back, doing his best to put his mind on the exercise once again.
By the end of the day he was aching from all the attacks he had fallen victim of. He groaned as he replaced his wand in his robes and headed for the lifts.
–Ron!†Harry called out from down the hall, jogging to catch up. –Ginny told me - are you okay?â€
–Not really, judging by how well things went in there.â€
–I’m sorry.†Harry looked genuinely worried. –I’d say we should go out for a drink, but your mum’s doing a roast tonight and Ginny and I promised we’d be there so I’d better get home and shower. See you later, though, right?â€
–Yeah, I’ll be there.â€
Molly Weasley was already well underway with the preparations when Ron got home. The potatoes were peeled and three large chickens we roasting in the oven.
–Hi, Mum,†he greeted as he walked in. –That smells good.â€
She smiled at him. –How was your day? Did you see Harry?â€
–Yes, they’ll be round soon. Did anything come for me while I was out?â€
He tried to make the question sound casual, but it was obvious what he wanted to know. He was hoping that Hermione had written to him, that she had realised that it was all a misunderstanding and was coming home.
–Oh well, actually, you did get a letter, and I hope you don’t mind but I opened it, because it was addressed to you and Hermione and I was worried it might be something to do with the wed- well something important anyway, and the owl was quite persistent so I thought it better be opened immediately. And well, it was from the letting agent in Diagon Alley. Apparently you were supposed to go and view some flats today, and they were wondering where you were. So I wrote back and said you were going to have to cancel, and I really hope that’s okay with you.â€
Of course. That was why Hermione had wanted him to have the day off. They were supposed to be looking at places for them to live once they were married. And the letting agent had agreed to open for them on Sunday so they could look on the one day-off they would both have. He had completely forgotten. Hermione was right about him; he was useless and selfish, and he didn’t deserve her.
–Ron? Ron, are you okay? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interfere, but I thought you probably wouldn’t be going and I didn’t want them to be kept waiting, or they might not have agreed to see you again.â€
He waved his hand, –Yes, Mum it’s fine. Um, listen, I’m just going to pop out.â€
–But you only just got home!â€
–Yes, I know, and I’ll be back for dinner, but I’ve got someone I want to see.â€
She hesitated. –Ron, don’t go and see Hermione. It’s too soon.â€
–I wasn’t planning to,†he replied quickly. –She asked me to wait, so I will.†And with that he turned and Apparated, not to Hermione’s parents, but to the familiar shop in Diagon Alley, where he knew George would be.
–Little brother!†George exclaimed as he opened the door. –You just can’t keep away can you? I’m supposed to be coming over for dinner tonight.â€
–I know, and I promised Mum we’d be there, but I just wanted to talk to you first.â€
–Sounds serious. You’d better come in then. You want a beer?â€
Ron accepted the drink and the two of them sat in the living room, nursing their bottles in silence until eventually George asked, –So, what is it you want to talk about then?â€
That was all Ron needed. He started talking and he couldn’t stop. He told George everything - from beginning to end. He knew that of everyone, George was the one who could understand. He wasn’t like Harry, who had equal loyalty to both Ron and Hermione - George would be completely there for him.
Sure enough, when he’d finished, George let out a low whistle. –Wow, little brother, you’ve really messed things up this time.â€
–Yeah thanks for that. I had noticed.â€
–So what are you going to do now? Are you going to talk to her?â€
–I don’t know. She asked me not to contact her. I’ve kind of got to respect that, though maybe that’s the wrong thing to do - maybe she’s trying to work out how much I want to see her. I just have no idea.â€
–And what about the wedding - do you want to get married?â€
Here, Ron paused. –I don’t know,†he admitted finally. –I know that I can’t stand the thought of not being with her, and that I’m sure I want to be married someday. It’s just that suddenly, it seems too soon, and I feel like we rushed so fast into marriage that I didn’t even stop to think about what it really meant. Besides, I’m not really sure it’s my choice anymore.â€
–When did you become so deep, Ron?†George asked, a small grin on his face. –Surely, it’s all about whether you love her - all the other crap about it being too soon is just your head messing with you. We both know life’s too short not to just follow your heart.†He glanced over at a photo of him and his twin, and a sad look passed over his face. –Fred was always better with the girl stuff. He’d have known what to tell you.â€
Ron snorted. –Yeah right. I miss him and all, but you were both as bad as each other. He’s the last person I’d have taken girl advice from.â€
–Oi! We gave you the book, didn’t we? And didn’t that help you out?â€
–Fat lot of use it is now, though. Shockingly there isn’t a chapter on ‘how to stop your witch leaving you a few weeks before your wedding’.â€
–Well then you’re just going to have to wing it, aren’t you. Come on, we’d better go, or Mum will go spare.â€
Sunday dinners at The Burrow had become something of a tradition. They didn’t have them every week, but at least every three weeks or so, they would all gather and indulge in some of Molly’s cooking. Usually, they were a lot of fun and talk would inevitably turn to reminiscing about their childhoods or the many incidents at Hogwarts.
Hardly surprisingly, however, Ron did not really enjoy that evening. Hermione’s absence left a gaping hole round the table, and though everyone was careful not to mention it (Bill, Fleur and Percy all having received instructions from Molly before Ron and George arrived), it was obvious that it was felt by them all.
Once again, Ron slept badly, tossing and turning, his dreams interrupted by visions of Hermione, always with her back to him, her voice echoing through his head, telling him how much she had let him down.
When he woke the next morning, he was certain of one thing. He had to talk to Hermione. It may only have been a day, but he couldn’t stand the silence. She had to know how he felt, and he needed to know whether there was still anything to fight for.
Forever Yours by coolh5000
Chapter Notes: I seem to be doing a good job of updating one chapter a year, though I really do hope the next one will be sooner. This isn't exactly what I planned, but I hope you enjoy it! Huge thanks to Kara for betaing.