Peter Pettigrew sat on the rocks beside the lake, legs crossed and his right elbow anchored firmly on his right knee, his chin resting securely in his right hand. In his left hand, he held a rock, his thumb caressing the smoothness of it, though the sensation had long ago ceased to mean anything to him. His thoughts were as deep and churning as the choppy water, which was only reflecting the cloudy September sky.
His thoughts were about as cheerful, too.
There were only nine more months left to his Hogwarts career. Nine months of work that would never be considered any better than average. Nine months of work that would constantly be overshadowed by others who were brighter, faster, and more adept than he could ever be. The fact that he had made the largest gains in Transfiguration than any other student in any other class meant nothing, apparently, in the grand scheme of things.
And then after those nine months, he would have to find a job in which it didn’t matter if he was very much an average sort of person, an average sort of wizard, and an average sort of everything else, too.
He heard a noise behind him, and he glanced over his shoulder to see Remus Lupin carefully making his way over the rocks to where Peter was sitting.
“There you are. We couldn’t find where you’d gone.”
Peter sniffed and returned his chin to his palm and his gaze to the water. “I’m sure Sirius was really worried.”
Remus tilted his head in surprise at the unusually sharp tone in the other boy’s voice. “It’s not his fault, you know.”
“I know,” Peter replied, sighing inwardly.
Remus slowly lowered himself until he was sitting next to Peter. He winced a little as he did, and Peter was reminded that the full moon was coming ” was three days away ” and Remus, a werewolf, was feeling the effects already.
“You shouldn’t be out here,” he said. “It’s getting cold and your joints won’t thank you for it.”
Remus huffed in annoyance. “I know, Mum.” Then he leaned forward slightly so that Peter could see he was smiling. “I just thought I’d better find you though. You seemed upset.”
Upset? Of course he seemed upset! Peter felt his jaw tighten from anger.
“Peter, it’s not his fault.” Remus repeated quietly, obviously trying to smooth things over.
Anger threatened to turn to something deeper, hotter. Was Remus only there because Sirius and James had sent him there to test the waters and make things right? Or was Remus trying to make peace on his own because he knew there was going to be tension between them all? Whatever the reason, Peter suddenly resented it. Couldn’t he just nurse his grudge just a little? And couldn’t Sirius bloody Black come down and smooth things out himself?
“My essay was every bit as good as his,” Peter suddenly snapped. “You know it was!”
Remus sighed. “I know, Peter, but ””
“And I had to work harder than he did to make it that way!”
The sandy-haired boy nodded. “You did some fabulous research on that essay.”
“And yet, I’m asked if I copied it from someone else, and Sirius ” who copied yours and just changed the wording and a few facts ” gets the highest mark in the class!”
“It’s not right, I know,” Remus acknowledged his righteous anger, at least. And the other boy seemed relatively sympathetic. “Professor Finnegan was wrong to question you like he did.”
“I didn’t even get a bloody apology!” Peter exploded, tossing the rock into the lake.
Remus rubbed the back of his neck, as he had a tendency to do when he was bothered. “Peter, I don’t know what to say...”
Peter felt his shoulders slump. No, there was nothing anyone could say. Sirius bloody Black had a way about him. He’d land on all four feet even after being pushed out a ninth floor window.
The two boys sat there quietly for a few minutes: Remus looking for a way to make things better and Peter looking for a way over the chasm of jealousy and bitterness that seemed firmly entrenched in his heart.
“I’m not really angry with Sirius,” Peter finally said to Remus. “Not really.”
It was a blatant lie, but certainly better than the truth. And he wasn’t about to go through his last year here at Hogwarts with Sirius bloody Black angry with him over a stupid essay. Besides the fact that it would lead to uncomfortable tension in their dormitory, it might lead to hexing that was more spiteful than teasing. And considering how Sirius’ spite could sharpen his tongue and whet the edge of his magic, Peter wasn’t ready to invite it all down upon himself.
And not only that, James and Remus would be forced to pick sides and Peter knew whose side they’d pick.
No, he wasn’t ready for a lonely, lonesome year at Hogwarts.
Someday, he’d have a moment when he wouldn’t be average, when he would be able to look around and say, ‘At this moment, I was brighter/faster/more adept than everyone else, including Sirius bloody Black.’ He would have a moment when he would be appreciated and praised and made to feel important.
Someday.
For now, though, he stood up and brushed off his robes. “It’s probably time for dinner.”
Remus nodded and struggled to his feet. “You know, Peter, maybe you could go talk to Professor Finnegan about it and ””
“No.” Peter smiled to soften the bluntness of his response. “I’m done talking about it. I’ll be all right. And he did give me an E, so there’s really nothing to complain about.”
They started back toward the castle, stepping cautiously over the stones. As they reached the spot where the scraggly, sea grass yielded to thicker, slightly greener grass, they were met by two other boys, both with black hair and wearing matching expressions of amusement and mischievousness.
“Peter! Just the man we were looking for!”
They flanked the slightly chubby boy, linking their arms through his.
“We have an idea.”
“You’re going to love this.”
“We’re going to show Finnegan exactly what you’re capable of.”
“We were thinking...”
Peter glanced over at Remus, who had been pushed aside by Sirius. He was smiling slightly, shaking his head at their enthusiasm and at the plans that tumbled from their lips.
“...But you’ll have to transform into a rat to get the key...”
“Gods, Peter! It’s so bloody perfect that you’re a rat!”
“Finnegan won’t have the first clue.”
“Or a second clue.”
There was laughter between the two dark-haired boys and, before he could stop it, Peter felt his anger slipping away and his sense of humour started to reassert itself.
“Do you think it will work? Really?” he asked, almost timidly.
“Of course, it will,” James replied confidently.
“It has to,” Sirius amended. “He’s insulted a Marauder.” He reached up to tousle Peter’s hair. “The man must pay the penalty.”
A chuckle welled up from somewhere deep inside Peter as he saw Sirius bloody Black’s cocky grin, James Potter’s self-assured smirk, and Remus Lupin's’ quiet smile.
Yes, Peter Pettigrew was an average sort of wizard. But he had above-average friends.
An Average Wizard by DragonDi
Story Notes:
This is for everyone who has ever felt lacking--that they weren't good enough, smart enough, fast enough, or whatever-else enough.
Chapter Endnotes: Thanks for reading!