Regulus felt the sun’s warm sunlight as it stretched across the verdant mountains to touch his face. It was always in the very early morning hours that he thought of his brother. It was only in this still moment of introspection that he wondered on how he deserved such unreserved beauty all around him, while his brother lay cold and dead in an English cemetery. For all that he had done, for all those he had sided with, he should be the one dead and buried, but here he stood taking in the eclipsing dawn and thinking of Sirius.
Regulus sighed, feeling his age fall heavy on his shoulders. He looked down on his arms and hands and barely noticed the scars that lacerated and pockmarked them. Scars came with the job of being a dragon keeper for a reserve, especially a newly opened reserve as the one he work for, the Smoky Mountain Dragon Reserve.
Regulus had long grown blind to those physical scars, but there were some scars he would never be able to escape, a past he could never fully redeem himself from. Those were the ones that lacerated his soul and sat like heavy gray chains on his heart. Maybe that was why he had chosen to come to this reserve far from home; maybe he had hoped that it would free him from his burdensome past. No one knew his name. No one knew that he had once been a Death Eater and had sided with Lord Voldemort. To everyone around him, he was a quiet and hardworking soul, with a bit of a reckless side. He liked to think of his brother whenever he did something dangerous.
But most importantly, no one knew he had lived with his share of dragons before he ever became a dragon keeper. The world was ripe with evil people and evil times and he had seen more than enough of both. Regulus had learned a long time ago that it didn’t do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you lived near him. He just wished he had learned this lesson earlier. Maybe Sirius would still be alive today.
Feeling the morning dwindling away and knowing that he was expected by the other dragon keepers, Regulus turned from the bright dawn and started down the Forney Ridge trail, which snaked down the mountainside. A thousand tasks and a thousand different thoughts flooded his mind. He was glad for that one moment of peace he had had to think of his brother before he started his day.
“Reg, I’m glad you’re back! It’s hatched!”
Regulus’ steps quickened as he strode through the brush that hugged the narrow trail he had been on. Despite himself, he couldn’t keep his smile from covering the entirety of his face. He had waited a long time for it to hatch. The “it” in question was a rare breed of dragon, a Norwegian Ridgeback. Out of all of the species of dragons, this one was nearly extinct.
The voice who had told Regulus the news had come from a stout, thickset young man who loped over to him, with wide grin on his face. His name was Mark Brantley, a Muggle-born wizard, who was always smiling and often louder than he should be. Mark had corn blond hair and sky blue eyes. He had been born on a farm with Muggle parents, and had gone to the Salem Institute of magic when he was eleven-years-old.
The two friends couldn’t be more opposite than each other. While Regulus was soft spoken and reserved, Mark was bold and a bit crass. While Regulus planned everything in advance, Mark jumped in without much thought or reservation. For a thousand reasons, the two men shouldn’t have been friends, but they were. Mark liked to call Regulus, “Reg” because he found Regulus’ full name to be odd and foreign to his American tongue.
“We thought the egg was going to hatch later on today, but it starting cracking just after you left and that feisty little creature wasted no time getting out of its shell. We have it penned up in one of the baby pens. Want to see it?” Mark asked.
Regulus nodded enthusiastically. He could barely contain his excitement as his friend led the way towards the newborn. Regulus had been the one to save the egg from a magical accident that would have destroyed it. With Mark’s help, he had done everything necessary and more to keep the dragon inside that egg alive. For Regulus, the dragon meant much more to him than he would have ever been able to tell Mark. By saving this one life, Regulus hoped he would be able to repay a part of the debt he believed he owed. Too many others had died from his mistakes and now maybe he could find some peace by saving this one life.
After walking through a maze of metal fenced enclosures that held several different types of young dragons, Mark stopped at the smallest one yet. Regulus felt his breath catch in his throat as he looked down on the tiny life inside. There, curled up asleep under the shade of a small metal lean-to, was his dragon. It was gray and long. Its skin was smooth compared to other dragons he had seen. Every once in awhile one of its little clawed feet would kick out and a small squeak came from its throat as it dreamed. Regulus felt his smile grow and he knew that he already loved that tiny little life.
“What should we name it?” Mark asked.
“Sirius,” Regulus quickly answered.
“Sirius?” Mark asked incredulously. He turned towards Regulus with a look of puzzlement. “Why such an odd name?”
“Because it was the name of my brother. In Greek it means “burning”, which is appropriate, but it also means “Dog star” and it is the brightest star in the Cannis Major constellation.”*
“You said your brother was named this. Is he no longer named this or…” Mark asked hesitantly.
“He’s dead. He died a long time ago,” Regulus responded quietly. A streak of pain flashed across his face as he thought of his older brother. When it passed, Regulus continued on, “Sirius had always wanted a dragon!”
“Look what I have, Regulus!” Sirius whispered in his younger brother’s ear.
Regulus tried to ignore Sirius, instead plodding along in his work. He knew no good could come from indulging his older brother’s whims. Sirius sat down next to Regulus with a lopsided grin on his face, completely ignoring his assignment, which sat idly on the wood table, gathering dust as usual.
Sirius always hated their study hours that their mother enforced upon them. Every afternoon, the two young boys were put in the drawing room and made to study several subjects, which included English, history of their proud family lineage and Arithmancy. And every afternoon, Sirius always found a new and interesting way to get into trouble or avoid doing work. What frustrated Regulus the most was that Sirius always managed to retain knowledge much easier than Regulus, despite the lack of work that he did. What took Regulus hours to remember and learn, took Sirius half the time.
Regulus turned away from his brother as Sirius’ pestering worsened. He knew their mother would be furious if she caught Sirius not working. Not wanting to get into trouble as well, Regulus tried to ignore what it was his brother shoved in front of his eyes, but the more he stared at his Arithmancy work, the more it made no sense to him. After trying to study for another few minutes, Regulus finally caved into Sirius’ constant badgering and turned to see what it was his brother had that was so important.
Clutched tightly in his older brother’s hand was a hand drawn picture of a large dragon. Regulus gasped in shock and dismay. The colors and small details were exquisite, but it wasn’t the details that shocked Regulus. It was the fact that the picture was stationary. Somehow Sirius had gotten a hold of a Muggle picture.
“This is what I want when I grow up!” Sirius said proudly.
“Sirius, where did you”” Regulus began, but stopped suddenly as the sound of the drawing room door rasped open. Sirius quickly hid the picture behind his back, but not quick enough. Regulus turned and saw the harrowing look of fury on their mother’s face. She knew that her oldest son was up to something.
“Sirius Black, what is it you’re hiding behind your back?” Walburga Black asked, her words as cold as ice. Regulus hunkered down lower in his chair. There was no way that Sirius would get out of this and he didn’t want to go down with his brother as well.
Waiting for Sirius to come back at his mother with a smart answer as he usually did, Regulus was stunned by the silence. Usually Sirius was quick to come up with an excuse, but now it seemed that his tongue was as tied as Regulus’ would have been.
“Regulus!” Their mother stated as she directed her glower at her youngest son. “What is it that Sirius is hiding?”
This was it. Regulus looked up at his mother and knew that Sirius was in deep trouble. For Regulus had never been able to fully lie to his mother and Sirius knew this as much as he did. He was the good son, the dutiful one and he could never lie to his own mother. He would have never been caught with a Muggle drawing either and a part of him thought that Sirius deserved whatever punishment he would get. But then Regulus remembered what type of punishment their father, Orion Black, dealt out. He was not a forgiving man and a transgression that seemed minor to Regulus would be dealt with harshly by their father. Regulus was now in a dilemma. Should he cover for Sirius? He knew that if he lied and their mother found out the truth anyway, they would both be punished severely. Regulus had to make a decision quickly because their mother was growing angrier by the second.
“He was asking me for help on his Arithmancy work. He didn’t want you to see that he needed my help with it. That‘s why he hid it behind his back,” Regulus stated calmly.
As he answered, he made sure his eyes met his mother’s and never left them. She would know he was lying if he so much as flinched. Regulus could feel Sirius’ eyes on him, but he ignored them. He continued to stare at his mother and his mother stared right back, trying to figure out if he was lying or not.
Finally, Walburga quietly responded, “Finish up quickly then. The house-elves tell me that dinner is almost finished!”
Both boys nodded. Walburga scrutinized them one last time before she turned and strode out the door. When they were sure she was gone, both boys let out a sigh of relief.
“That was a close one. Thanks baby brother. It’s a good thing our dear mum loves you more. If I had said that, she would have taken the switch to me herself.”
“Don‘t do that again! I won’t cover for you if you do!” Regulus snapped, though deep down he knew that both statements were a lie. He knew that Sirius was going to get into trouble again sooner rather than later and he knew that he would probably try to protect his brother if he thought it worth the risk.
Sirius nudged Regulus and showed him the picture again.
“It would be pretty spectacular if we had one of these in our back garden, wouldn‘t it?”
Regulus smiled despite the grim mood he was determined to be in.
“Yeah, it would be.”
“Our mother never did find out,” Regulus stated to Mark, who sat next to him listening to the story intently. “Sadly that was the last time we were ever close like that again as brothers should be. A few months later he got his letter to Hogwarts and then after that he was sorted into Gryffindor where he made a whole new set of friends. He no longer needed me anymore.”
Regulus stopped. It hurt to talk about Sirius or to even think of his older brother. His old pain, the old guilt he had come all the way to America to hide from, flared up inside him, but somehow he felt comfortable around Mark. He felt as if Mark may be the only person he could ever confide in about his past.
Regulus had never told anyone about his family, most especially about his brother. To those he worked with, his past was a mystery. Since he was a hard worker and never complained, people let him keep his privacy. And Regulus had found a peace in his anonymity, but now he felt a need to say something. Maybe it was because Mark reminded him so much of Sirius. And maybe this baby dragon had finally loosen the last of his resistance. Whatever it was, it felt good to tell someone about his older brother.
“What happened to Sirius? How did your brother die?” Mark asked quietly, after Regulus had finished.
Regulus knew that by opening up he would get these sorts of questions, but that still didn’t stop him from being startled by what Mark had asked of him. It was time the truth was told. Regulus bowed his head, his eyes burning with tears he had not shed in a long time.
In a voice that quavered despite his attempt to remain calm, Regulus answered, “He died because of me, because of something I did.”
That night Regulus had a hard time falling asleep. His mind replayed over and over again his conversation with Mark. He couldn’t bear telling his friend how his brother had died. That was still a part of his past that burned inside him, like a hot coal of perpetual guilt.
Mark had known he had asked too much of Regulus and had let the subject drop, but Regulus couldn’t forget. Talking to Mark had opened a door inside him to a dark place he had buried deep within. His mind had become a convoluted maze of phantom shadows from the past and the hesitant light of the future.
That night, under the cool touch of the white moon, Regulus dreamt of dragons.
One dragon was the color of pitch, its eyes red in fury and its claws cruelly sharp. Large bat-like wings strummed the air. It rose up to meet another dragon, who was pure white, its wings elegant and its head noble. Light encased the white dragon, breaking through the broiling clouds that surrounded the two in their epic collision.
The dragons raced towards each other, each bent on destroying the other. Regulus watched as these two magnificent and terrible creatures snapped, clawed and whirled through the heavens. The air thinned and broke apart as light penetrated the darkness or congealed into a gray mass as darkness overshadowed the light.
As the struggle became more brutal, the sky turned from a steel gray to a bruised purple. Blue lightening lit up the dark clouds and thunder rolled throughout the heavens. Rain began to fall around them, turning their lean bodies slick. Regulus noticed that deep wounds and gashes pockmarked both dragons. He wanted more than anything to stop the fight, but found himself helpless to do anything. For he saw, but he could not respond. He heard, but he could not speak out.
Roars split the air, shaking the rolling clouds as the viciousness intensified. He saw the light fade as the white dragon grew weaker and weaker. Darkness covered all as the black dragon got a hold of the white dragon’s wing and hurled him down to earth. Regulus watched in horror as the white dragon spun limp and lifeless to the land below. When it landed, it didn’t get up and Regulus knew that the battle for good and evil was over.
The dream changed and morphed into a very real memory that Regulus had wished to never see again. It was the memory of his brother’s last moments. Regulus remembered that horrible night as if it were yesterday. It had been raining, a hard, relentless rain. The entire sky had opened up and poured down its sorrow and anger. Regulus remembered holding the lifeless form of Sirius in his arms, cradling him close and wishing that the pain he felt inside would leave.
He should have never told him about the traitor. If he hadn’t told Sirius about the news of an informant, then Sirius wouldn’t have gone after him himself. He would have stayed with his friends. Sirius had been slated to be James’ best man at his wedding, but now that hope had turned to ash.
Because of Regulus, Sirius pursued the informant alone. Because of Regulus, Sirius hadn’t known how close to him the informant really was, even though Regulus, at the time, had hardly known it himself. Regulus had only known that the traitor was going to be at a certain location at a certain time and had let those facts slip to his older brother.
Sirius had wanted to know who it was that was giving information to the enemy. He had taken it upon himself to find out because that leaked information had led to the deaths of Fabian and Gideon Prewett, to the torture and murder of Dorcas Meadowes, the murder of Marlene McKinnon and her family and the brutal murder of Benjy Fenwick. But Sirius always jumped before he looked to where it was he was jumping. He had gone alone to the designated location, hoping to catch a traitor and instead found a whole nest of Death Eaters. He fought valiantly, but in the end, his own aunt had killed him. Regulus had Disapparated there, two minutes too late , after everyone had gone and only Sirius was left. He had held his dead brother in his arms and his entire world had shattered.
How he wished he could take back that night, wished he had not said a word about the informant and the meeting. He should have been there sooner, should have fought at his brother’s side, like they had done when they were younger. Regulus knew he would have been killed, but it was better than living with this gnawing guilt inside him. It was better than this half-life he had.
And that was when Regulus woke up, streaked with sweat and chocking on his own anguished scream.
After his confession to Mark and his dream of his brother, Regulus became inundated with memories that he wished he wouldn’t remember. Every night he woke with a strangled scream in his throat as the last moments he had with Sirius flashed before his eyes. And all throughout his days, he became haunted by his past.
As summer faded to a brisk autumn, Regulus took every job he could take. If he could work away the past, he would, but nothing saved him from the ache in his heart that had become a constant companion to him now.
The only solace he ever had was going to see Sirius the dragon. The newborn was extremely precocious and got into more trouble than most of the others combined. Regulus knew he was going to be a handful, but as each day passed, Regulus began to smile a little more and that horrible ache in his heart was slowly ebbing away. For Regulus, his dragon reminded him so much of his brother. Mark helped Regulus in feeding and nurturing the young dragon, but it soon became clear who the dragon would listen to. Soon, no other dragon keeper, not even Mark, could get the dragon to mind them and it would go by no other name but Sirius.
As the months flowed from autumn to winter, Regulus watched in pride as his dragon grew and grew. He was given exclusive control over the Ridgeback. Sirius was a known rabble rouser, an instigator and leader of the other dragons. Many a cage had been destroyed, many a tree had been burnt to the ground and many a restless hour had been spent searching for the young dragon in the forest, as he was still unable to fly. Through it all was Regulus, leading every hunt for the dragon or building every new cage or planting every new tree. No matter what trouble the dragon got into, Regulus was always there to make sure that the dragon didn’t get too out of hand or to clean up after him.
And Sirius the dragon was extremely intelligent. He was one of the first dragons to walk unaccompanied, the first to shoot flames from his mouth and the first to attempt to fly.
The first time Sirius had tried to fly, Regulus felt his heart drop to his stomach. He knew that eventually his dragon would fly away from him, that he had to be free and live with the other dragons, but he had hoped that that day would come much later. He had hoped that he had had a little more time with the dragon. With each clumsy attempt to lift up into the sky, Regulus felt a mixture of joy and pride but also a stab of sorrow.
Winter melted into spring, bringing green life to a frosted and bare landscape. Flowers blossomed, sweetening the air and everyone felt a surge of happiness. Even Regulus couldn’t ignore the pure joy of having a mild spring day again, like letting the cool waters of streams wash over his bare feet or breathing in the intoxicating smell of thick deciduous forest.
By this time, Sirius the dragon was as big as a small house and into more trouble than ever. He had accidentally set a whole hillside on fire, which had been made to look like a controlled burn done by Muggle firefighters. His flying attempts were getting better and Regulus’ heart was bursting in pride. His dragon was doing more than he ever thought possible and even though he knew that it meant their separation was hastening as well, he no longer felt pain over it. For Regulus found his redemption in the dragon and his past no longer haunted him as it once did.
So when the time came for Sirius the dragon’s first important attempt to fly, Regulus and the Norwegian Ridgeback were ready and slightly nervous. They both knew that a change was coming. Regulus stood next to his dragon, his hands gently stroking the creature’s large heaving side. At their feet was the edge of the cliff and the biggest ledge either man or dragon had ever had to face. Far off across the rolling mountains that were covered in gossamer clouds, the red setting sun cast out its last rays of light as it sunk lower and lower to the horizon.
Sirius the dragon was scared. His over large feet stomped nervously as he looked at Regulus and then down the cliff to the bed of forest below. The dragon knew he must jump, knew that this moment was always going to come, but he stood hesitant on the edge of that cliff.
“It’s okay, Sirius. I’m here and will always be here. I know you can do this!”
The dragon roared anxiously, and Regulus leaned his head on the dragon’s side. He suddenly didn’t want to let his dragon go and his warm tears streamed down his face. Regulus’ hands shook as he patted the dragon’s side. And for a moment, they stayed like this, just a dragon and his keeper. After awhile, Sirius nudged Regulus’ head with his nose. Regulus looked up at the Ridgeback through a film of tears.
“You’re right. It’s time for you to fly,” Regulus stated and then he stepped away from the young dragon.
Sirius the dragon watched him go as if he knew that this was going to be the end of their friendship as they knew it. For nothing would ever be the same again once his dragon made that leap. The past would become gilded memories tucked away in the fold of the dragon’s mind and maybe he would remember his keeper as he had once known him. Regulus knew that, in all likelihood, his dragon would eventually forget about him, but, though it hurt to say good-bye, he knew that it was not the end.
The dragon looked out into the light of the setting sun and then gave a mighty roar that swept across the vast space in front of him. He lifted his wings and let them spread out. They were nearly too big for the cleared space. Regulus stepped back towards the tree line and watched as those wings slowly started to beat the air, getting faster and faster. Leaves and dust swirled up from the ground like small twisters. Regulus felt his hair whip around his face, stinging his eyes as it flew into them. He desperately pushed his hair aside, not wanting to miss one second of this moment.
Sirius turned around one last time and looked at Regulus, his large yellow eyes glistening in the fading light. Regulus saw a glimmer of sadness there, a glimmer of not wanting to let his keeper go, but it was only for a small moment. The dragon then turned back to the horizon in front of him and began to run to the edge of the cliff. Regulus held his breath as he watch his dragon race to the edge and then jump off. For a moment, nothing happened and Regulus ran over to that edge.
As he got there, Sirius the dragon zoomed up high into the heavens and then back down again, ecstatic at this new freedom. He swooped and dived and with each new maneuver got further and further away from Regulus. No matter what he told himself, Regulus felt his heart ache. The dragon became a black silhouette in the crimson fog that stretched across the mountains.
Regulus knew it was for the best, for winter must always change into spring, the dawn always rose after night and every dragon had their ending. It was the end of their friendship, but it was the beginning of a new life for Sirius.
And in that Regulus found his last redemption.