Why is Natasha late? I thought anxiously. She’s never been tardy for a Potions class before, and on the first day of classes too! Just because she’s going out with Black now it doesn’t mean she should ditch me for him. I polished my cauldron for the fifth time while impatiently waiting, half-listening to Professor Slughorn drone on about the potion we were about to do. I could easily afford not paying much attention in this class since I usually do exceedingly well. I heard the door scrape open and the Marauders swaggered in, laughing at some dumb joke Potter or Black just said, probably. Surprise, surprise, there’s Natasha with Black’s arm around her.
“Now, boys!” Professor Slughorn scolded, “First day of classes and you’re already late! Not a good start for your last year at Hogwarts.”
I wasn’t surprised to see Potter step forward in the group, trying to flatter Professor Slughorn into letting them go.
“Ah, Professor,” Potter started innocently, “we were just saying how we’re going to miss having you as our Potions teacher. After all, no one teaches Potions better than you do, sir.”
“Oh, Potter,” Professor Slughorn laughed, waving his hand dismissively. “Off to your seats, all of you. We are about to start brewing a Draught of Peace. Now, I know this is fifth-year level in preparation of the O.W.L.s but I thought we should brush up on our knowledge. You never know when it could be handy!”
Instead of Natasha pulling out the chair next to me, it was Remus. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised she would sit next to Black. I turned around in my chair to see her where I expected. My eyes drifted to a desk adjacent to them and Potter was next to Peter. I never would’ve thought that would happen.
“Do you mind if I sit here?” Remus asked, pulling out his potions book.
“Not at all,” I replied, a smile easing on my face. “You know I prefer you here then another attempt from Potter.”
Oh no, I thought to myself, mentally slapping my hand to my forehead. I’m always bringing up Potter, aren’t I? Why! I don’t even like that arrogant, oh-look-at-me-I’m-so-popular git. Remus smiled sympathetically to me and a second later we were both getting out of our seats in order to pick the ingredients we needed.
For the most part we worked in silence, occasionally commenting on our progress and checking to see if one cauldron was turning out a similar scent and color as the other. As I was leaning forward to check on my cauldron, a loud clashing sound next to me made me jump. Remus had fainted, bringing his cauldron on top of him.
“Remus!” Potter called, running over to him. Black left his seat and crouched next to Remus on the floor.
“Professor, what’s wrong with him?” Black asked nervously. “He’s been ill the past few days but now he’s passed out on the floor.”
“Did he faint?” I asked, to no one in particular.
“Move over, Mr. Black,” Professor Slughorn said, uncomfortably crouching down to check on Remus. “Looks like the boy fainted but with the Draught of Peace on him, he’s been put into a very deep sleep. We’ll be lucky if we can wake him, it smells as if he added too much Valerian root.”
“What do you mean, lucky if he wakes up?” Potter asked anxiously.
“If you add too many ingredients, it may put the drinker into a deep”and in some cases irreversible”sleep,” I said, speaking up.
“Why did you let this happen?” Black asked indignantly. “You were sitting right next to him! How could you have not noticed?”
“I’m sorry for not doing the potion for him!” I quipped, my cheeks burning at this confrontation. “We were comparing our cauldrons for a while but this takes a lot of concentration!”
“It’s not Lily’s fault,” Potter said, placing a hand on his mate’s shoulder. “Remus has other things on his mind, like his current illness. He must not have paid attention.”
Black was silent until Professor Slughorn spoke up again.
“You boys should carry him to see Madame Pomfrey. Explain to her the situation and hope she can find a cure to wake him up.”
“Maybe it would be better if we let him stay asleep until his… illness passes,” Potter whispered to Black.
I could see why that might be a good idea. But if Remus is sick now, I don’t see how he would wake up healthy again unless Madame Pomfrey gave him something to make him feel better…
Potter, Black, and Peter lifted Remus up and carried him out the room. The room seemed to erupt in chatter when the boys left and Professor Slughorn had to raise his voice to get the room silent again.
“Since we are almost out of time,” Professor Slughorn announced, “I would like you all to give me a sample of your draught and I will grade them accordingly.”
He walked over to my cauldron and took a peek. It was emitting a silvery-vapour and Professor Slughorn nodded in approval. “Full marks as usual, Miss Evans!”
I took a sample and quickly brought it over to his desk like the other students. As I was tidying my desk Natasha hurried over to me.
“What was that about?” she asked, helping me clean Remus’ desk.
“I have no idea,” I replied, stuffing his materials in the bag left behind.
“I hope he’s okay,” Natasha said sympathetically. “Do you think he’ll wake up?”
“Hopefully he didn’t add too many ingredients,” I replied, pushing the chairs in and heading for the door. “I think Madame Pomfrey’s seen worse though.”
“Should we take his bag to the hospital wing?” Natasha asked, carrying the bag with hers.
“I can keep it in my room until he comes back,” I suggested as we started climbing the many stairs to our common room.
Natasha pulled me through a shortcut behind a tapestry and replied, “Well, you know, I can always give it to Sirius and he can put it in their room.”
“I guess so,” I replied. “How are things going with Black? What you see in him I have no idea.”
“Oh, come on,” Natasha proclaimed, shaking her head. “You’re just not looking for the right qualities that he and James share.”
“Oh, and now you’re on Potter’s side, hmm?” I quipped, making a face at her.
“Well,” she started, “when you spend a little time with the Marauders you see they’re not so bad after all.”
“You’re going mad,” I laughed at her, rolling my eyes. “Not so bad?”
She shoved me playfully, “They really aren’t! They’re nice, extremely loyal to one another, funny, they’re all quite handsome really…”
“Oh, Natasha,” I sighed. “You really are losing it.”
“James really is in love with you,” she began.
“Not you too!” I blurted out. “You’re not supposed to be on his side!”
“But he is!” Natasha insisted. “The way he talks about you… it would seem as if you two have been in love since the first year.”
“Please, stop,” I said, raising my hand to silence her. “We’ve only just arrived to school and you’re acting as if you’re a Marauder yourself.”
“Maybe I will become one of them,” she suggested. “Maybe Sirius and I are meant to be.”
“Ha!” I laughed. “Good luck with holding on to him. He never seems to be able to hold on to a girl before jumping into another one’s skirt!”
Natasha looked really offended. We had reached the portrait of the Fat Lady by now and she stood glaring at me with her arms crossed.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded.
“Well, you know,” I said uncomfortably, crossing my arms, “Black is always with one girl or the other.”
“And you think he’s going to cheat on me?” she accused, narrowing her eyes.
“I can’t predict the future!” I exclaimed. “It’s Black we’re talking about! Not Peter or Remus.”
“He fancies me, Lily,” she pleaded, “why can’t you just be happy for me?”
“I am happy for you,” I replied weakly. “I just…”
“What?” Natasha demanded, crossing her arms in a menacing position.
“Are you girls going to say the password or are you going to stand here and argue all day?” the Fat Lady demanded.
“What?” Natasha continued, ignoring the Fat Lady.
“It’s nothing,” I replied, shaking my head as if to dismiss the conversation. I turned to the Fat Lady and answered, “Bread pudding.”
“What were you going to say?” Natasha asked, following me through the portrait hole. “What? You just never thought Sirius would ever like me? Was that it, Lily?”
“No,” I denied, not meeting her eyes.
“You never were a good liar, Lily,” Natasha said, catching on to my flaring nostrils that always gave me away. “I can’t believe you pretended to be happy for me, always encouraging me to say something to him.”
“But, Natasha-,” I started, before she interrupted me.
“I don’t want to hear it, Lily,” Natasha sighed, leaning from one foot to the other. “I need to be alone.”
She turned around and headed to her room, leaving me staring after her while I replayed the whole conversation in my head.
“What just happened?” I thought to myself as I went up the stairs to my own room.
He was right on time. Potter met me outside the portrait hole to do our Head duties of patrolling the halls. We started from the seventh floor down. It wasn’t until we had reached the fifth floor that I realized how quiet it was. How come Potter wasn’t talking my ear off or trying to flirt with me?
“You’re unusually quiet. Was Madame Pomfrey able to wake up Remus?” I asked hesitantly, deciding to take interest in looking at anything but Potter.
“Oh, yes,” Potter replied hastily, as if I had snapped him out of some deep thought.
Potter, in deep thought? I laughed to myself. What could ever be worth pondering so deeply about in Potter’s life? Quidditch trials? Making his hair look perfectly messy? Wait, I mean messy. Why would I think perfectly messy? I shook my head to rid of the thought and tried to revive the conversation.
“How is he?” I asked, spotting Peeves down a corridor.
“Who?” Potter asked. “Oh, Remus, right. Madame Pomfrey was able to wake him up within two hours but he’s still ill. She wants to keep him over night to make sure he’ll be all right. He might stay tomorrow too.”
“That’s some illness Remus gets,” I replied sympathetically. “Poor Remus…”
“Ooh Head Boy Potter and Head Girl Evans out to patrol together,” Peeves cackled. “Out for a midnight stroll in the castle!”
“Peeves!” I called, tiredly. Please don’t cause any trouble tonight!
“Want some alone time with your Head Boy, Evans?” Peeves continued, smiling gleefully. “Trying to find an empty classroom to spend some quality time alone?”
“Shut up, Peeves,” Potter spoke up. “Go cause trouble somewhere else tonight.”
“That I will do,” Peeves laughed. He zoomed away singing, “Potter and Evans sitting in a tree. S-N-O-G-G-I-N-G. First comes loooooove then comes marriage…”
“Oh, Peeves,” I muttered under my breath.
We continued walking in silence, despite the awkward moment with Peeves. I think awkward because usually Potter laughs along with Peeves, encouraging him. Now Potter is quiet on his own and trying to get Peeves to shut up. Has it actually happened? Has Potter moved on to someone else? I couldn’t take the silence any longer. Instead, I felt uncomfortable with this changed Potter. I don’t know what to expect from him, therefore I don’t know how to act around him.
“Why are you so quiet, Potter?” I asked, a little accusingly though I didn’t mean to sound so.
“I’m just thinking,” he replied, continuing to look ahead on our patrol.
“You, thinking?” I laughed. “Come on, what’s really on your mind?”
“Must you always sound so degrading to me?” Potter answered, looking a bit red. “I do have a brain. I do use it occasionally, though yes, sometimes I do stupid things, it doesn’t mean I can’t think for myself.”
“I-I,” embarrassed, I stuttered while turning red myself. “I didn’t mean to…”
“No,” Potter replied. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped like that. I’ve just got a load on my mind. I’ll- I’ll patrol this corridor. You go on, I’ll see you later.”
He left me at the next turn, leaving me in silence. What just happened? I thought, continuing the patrol. Why do I feel like… like I did something bad?
I didn’t see Potter later that night. I didn’t expect to see anyone in the common room by the time I entered it.
“Black?” I called, as I edged closer to the comfortable armchair by the fire.
I had startled him, as he had been sleeping.
“Evans?” he asked groggily. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Why?” I asked suspiciously.
“I don’t know why you dislike me and James so much. We’re not bad people, even if we do get ourselves in detention every so often. I just don’t want you to make Natasha choose between me and you.”
“She told you about our argument?”
“She didn’t have to. I saw her shortly afterwards, saw she was upset. When I asked her why, she said you two had an argument. It doesn’t take a genius to guess why.”
“Oh well… That’s none of your business. Look, I wanted to ask you something about Potter.”
“Realized your true feelings for James?” he teased.
“Actually,” I started. “He’s changed a bit, hasn’t he? When we were patrolling, I might have come off sounding a bit mean and I could tell he was preoccupied with some thought-”
“Well that’s none of your business, is it?” Sirius answered.
I blushed, “Yeah, I guess so.”
I turned around and headed to my room when Sirius answered, “He’s had some rough issues to deal with since this past summer.”
“Like what?” I asked, though not normally nosy as to what goes on in Potter’s life, I was a little curious as to what was going on in that head of his.
“Family issues,” he replied. “His father has been targeted, trying to be recruited as a Death Eater. Of course, he keeps rejecting them. Something about him always fighting for the Order. So now his family isn’t quite safe. You happy to know now?”
I was speechless. I could never have thought of that. I also felt like I had intruded on something private, I regretted asking. I turned back to my room when Sirius called to me again.
“Oh, and Evans?” Sirius asked.
I turned to face him.
“Maybe this year,” he started, “you should take it easy on Potter. He’s going through a lot. He doesn’t deserve you.”
That last sentence stung. For the past however many years he’s been chasing me, I’ve always thought of it that he never deserved me. All my snide comments I’ve made to him, the mean things I’ve said, I never thought that maybe I didn’t deserve him.